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character: aqua prompt: wine


Okay, so you were a bit of an alcoholic, sure. You had your share every now and then, maybe even a little more than that, and sure, maybe you did sneak into the local winery’s basement to nick a few bottles but.. It was the holidays! Surely, you deserved a gift from the owners, you were one of their most loyal customers! What DIDN’T make sense to you though was just how realistic this hangover nightmare was. Shrunken down, swimming in an ocean of mulled wine? It was pretty ironic, definitely your body trying to give you a hint, but, what kind of dream smelled so spicy? So real? Unfortunately though, the yuletide season can be just as brutal as it is jolly, something you’d never really come to terms with. I mean, you really thought it'd be smart to bring a candle down into a wine cellar?! Yeah, no, you were most definitely dead. Though ever more unfortunately you, your soul was caught up in a strange limbo of sorts. When Aqua was tricked into being dragged into the fantasy world, her role of convincing the departed to choose to reincarnate in it was replaced by Eris, but such an important switch up was bound to have a few hiccups. In the eyes of the gods, though, a few dozen people falling through the newly formed cracks in comparison to the thousands who arrived before Eris, safe and sound, were utterly irrelevant. You were now one of these unfortunate souls to be delivered to Aqua, though she would never know.

“Hello?! Anyone!!??” You shouted aloud, echoing into the endless red sea. The only response you seemed to be graced with were loud voices in the near distance. “Kazumaaa, the wine’s speaking..” Aqua whimpered and put her ear up to the cork to improve your volume for her. “You said that last year and still drank the whole thing! Give me that!” He snapped back and ripped the bottle of wine away from her, shaking up powerful waves from your perspective. The glass of the bottle was a deep black, making it impossible to see what was happening beyond its confines, yet alone even register that the walls existed at all, to you, they looked like the dark of the night, and you didn't question it much. That was until a loud squeaking sound squealed above you, causing you to crane your neck up just in time to see the “moon” suddenly vanish and light to come in its stead, though you immediately knew that this wasn't sunlight.. “Wha–?” Aqua clapped her hands and cheered her bestest friend on, he always knew exactly what to say and do to reassure her, even if he could be so mean sometimes! “Thank you so much, Kazuuuumaaa~!” She took back the bottle and received a dismissive eye roll from her companion, no doubt a ‘useless’ muttered under his breath as well. He would partake in his own alcohol, albeit for coping reasons than anything. “Darkness, stop that, she's absolutely not into that, you pervert!” He stormed off, trying to keep his group of delinquents under control. He never wanted to be a father and yet somehow..

Aqua, already way more than just a little tipsy clutched onto the mulled wine bottle containing you with both hands as she watched him stomp away, clearly mesmerised by all the loud noises if anything else. “Eheh.. Shoo noisy, grumpy little neet~!” She hiccuped, her voice growing louder as she lifted the bottle towards her lips. You struggled to make sense of it all, on the other hand. The siren’s voice only grew louder and louder before the hole in the sky was filled up with the face of the most perfect woman you’d ever laid eyes on. She looked beyond an idol, or a doll, or even a piece of art, she looked as if she was crafted by divinity itself. If only you knew how close to the truth you were then, you would have prayed as hard as you could to whatever deity she was. As it stood now though, considering you were in an ocean of wine, it really did make more sense to you that she was a kind of siren. You began to maniacally swim in any direction the current would take you, desperate to escape what you perceived to be a very real threat, and indeed it was, but there was nowhere to escape, no shelter, no land, nothing but wine for a drunk, useless goddess to enjoy. “Haa~ Time to drink up, I deserve it, after-all!” She smiled and lifted the neck of the bottle to her lips and began to tilt it upwards, eager to gulp down each and every drop to herself. A true savage, not even taking the time to savour her wine, how could she be so heartless?! Oh, and because she was going to swallow you, that was probably also bad! Her plump, naturally bubblegum pink lips parted to reveal the inside of her mouth, the last sight you’d see before it all went dark again. The wine began to slide towards her awaiting maw, dragging you with it. You swam against the current with all of your strength, but how could you fight the will of a goddess? Her drink was like a raging waterfall to you, dragging you straight into her awaiting mouth. You screamed one last time in a desperate cry for help, getting your fair share of wine in your mouth and nose for your troubles, but she’d be damned if she stopped mid-drink! She swallowed you along with her mouthful and set her bottle on the floor next to her as she looked around puzzledly. “Ehhh..? Was it talking again? Mmh, no, Kazuma said that I always think that, or something..” She assured herself and giggled childishly at her own antics. Eris watched from the corner with her face in her palms, she was too late to steal yet another relic from her bumbling superior. She thought it better to not let her know what she’d just done, and simply sighed and backed away, consigning your spirit to Aqua’s oblivion.

You surfaced in her gut, which was noticeably full of alcohol and sweet winter-themed pastries. Though, almost as if it had a mind of its own, it seemed to immediately start growling at your presence, as if you were an intruder. A spirit inside of the pure body of a goddess? It was only natural that it decided to exorcise you as swiftly as it could. You felt your spirit losing its form and cognition as the growling grew louder and louder. Aqua hiccuped, signalling the end of your existence. Though, it would not be the absolute end. You were granted reincarnation, though not in the form of an adventurer, no, you’d be entering this wonderful world in a much more humbling position. Befitting your alcoholic debauchery, some might say. The next morning, Aqua awoke with a full bladder, and rushed to the bathroom only to find it occupied by Megumin as usual. “You damned brat!” She crossed her legs and whined. “Please.. Just let me go?” Megumin rolled her eyes and told her to piss off. A poor but fitting choice of words. Aqua groaned and snuck outside into the snow and squatted behind a bush behind their mansion. “That a goddess would have to piss outside like an animal, how humiliating..” She cried, pitying herself as usual as dark smelly piss flowed from her crotch, creating steam as it hit the cold snow beneath her, staining it yellow. This would be the only contribution in battle against the Demon King you’d ever make. If you could even call it one, at all..


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