“Whoever wins, we lose”

-Alien vs. Predator tagline

“Are you ready?” Valeria called, levitating down the stairs as the sun set.

“You’re sure this is going to stop a werewolf?” Brendan asked, hefting the squirt bottle in his hand.

“There is nothing to vorry about, think of it as… adopting a pair of stray dogs,” Valeria said slyly, “now, bring me to your autocarriage.”

“You want to take the car?” he asked quizzically.

“I vant to conserve energy, and they vill not be expecting it,” Valeria said, “I have been following them as a bat-“

“You can turn into a bat?” Brendan asked excitedly.

Her face rankled, “Yes, but I do not like to, vould prefer to just fly or even valk, being a bat is uncomfortable.”

The two of them reached the car, and rather than getting in the front Valeria opened the back, settling into the middle seat and folding her arms over her lap.

“You can sit in the front,” he said, leaning back to her.

She laughed and waved a hand dismissively, “the mistress alvays rides in the back, now let us be off!”

“Where are we going?” he asked, starting the car.

“Your home,” she said nonchalantly.

Brendan froze, “why my place? I thought you said we were going after the-“

“Your friend Trent, have you noticed any changes?” Valeria asked, “perhaps a smell like vet dog after it rains?”

He blinked, the various odd things about his roommate coming together, “how the hell did I miss it?” he sighed, “and you promise we’re not going to hurt him?”

“No more than necessary,” Valeria said, her fangs poking through her smile as they entered the street.

…

The trio of Dr. West, Dr. Stein, and Howard watched the car pull out of the large gothic house’s driveway, the sound of the engine echoing up the street and causing the dry leaves to skitter behind it on the cool fall night.

“S-So that’s the guy we’re after?” Howard asked nervously.

“I think we may be after the girl,” Stein muttered, watching the glass rod flourish with electricity as it detected the magical aura, “whoever she is…”

“Let’s go investigate the house while they’re gone,” West growled, gesturing for the other two to follow her.

“I-Is this still all part of the extra credit?” Howard stuttered as the three of them sprinted through the automated iron gate before it could rasp shut behind them.

Stein and West met each other’s eyes, fighting down laughter, “Sure Howard,” West cackled, “consider your grade an A, now try the door!”

Howard jiggled the door knob fruitlessly, “it’s locked,” he said with a shrug.

“Luckily, if we apply the scientific method, we can unlock many doors!” Dr. Stein said excitedly, hefting a stone from the garden. There was a sound of shattering glass as she smashed it against the window next to the door.

“Francine, you fool!” West shouted, “what if they have an alarm?”

“I don’t hear anything!” Stein giggled, letting the rock drop as she climbed through the broken window.

“Uh, Professors?” Howard began nervously, “I think this might be breaking and entering-“

“Do you want an A or not?” West scowled, following the other doctor, “the sciences supersede law! We settled that debate with the law professors when we were arguing with the dean about priority for parking spaces.”

“Think of yourself like a modern-day Darwin!” Stein called, already deep inside the house.

“Is there a part of Origin of Species where he burglarizes someone’s house?” Howard muttered, reluctantly following the two inside.

…

Brendan’s car pulled up to the house, and he shut off the engine and got out. Sighing as he looked up at the waning crescent moon. Their house was far enough into the edge of town that the stars shone brightly over the small house, the lights from inside illuminating the forest that encroached their lot from three sides.

“Brendan!” Valeria called, muffled by the car, “open the door!”

He raised an eyebrow and walked around to the backseat door of his old brown sedan, “Do you not know how to open these?” he asked, gesturing to the door handle.

Valeria scowled and crossed her arms, “I know how to open them!” she said, rolling her eyes, “I vant you to do it! Like I am a true noble! The Volves vill be vatching!”

“I don’t know if they’re going to care, but sure,” Brendan laughed, pulling the door open.

…

“Oh fuck, look at that, he’s opening the door for her,” Lupe said, peering out through the blinds, “she’s got to be a big deal!”

“Just so we’re clear,” Trent growled, “we wolf up, I grab Brendan and get him out of the way, then you deal with…” he gulped, “she’s a Dracula, right?”

“Nah, she’s probably some scrub vampire, New York night club trash, think the kind of loser with fangs Blade kills in the opening of the movie,” Lupe muttered.

“IN THE NAME OF VLAD TEPES, LORD OF VAMPIRES, I VALERIA TEPES CALL YOU FORTH VOLVES!” the pale woman shouted from the driveway.

“Aw fuck,” Lupe muttered, “okay, she’s a Dracula.”

…

It’s happening, Alex typed into the Discord message box, the wolf and the vampire are here to fight for my heart… I can’t bear to see my friends tear themselves apart like this!

She sighed dramatically, collapsing back into her computer chair.

You have to stop them, DannyPhantomFan4Ever typed back, they could kill each other! Remember what I told you about vampire and werewolf weaknesses! Be sure to give me an update!

Thanks Phantom, she said, smiling gleefully, you’re the best League partner and supernatural consultant a gal could want!

Be sure to update reddit too! He typed back, you’ll get so much karma!

Alex squealed excitedly, then slid her silver spelling bee medal on, followed by a ring of garlic cloves before darting out the door.

…

Lupe threw the door open, scowling at the vampire waiting for her on the driveway as she stalked out into the low light of the porchlight. Trent plodded behind her, his heavy footsteps against the front stoop echoing against the final mournful whistling of the late season crickets.

“I thought I smelled bat shit!” Lupe shouted defiantly, spreading her legs wide and scowling at Brendan and Valeria.

“Everything’s gonna be okay Brendan, I’m gonna get you out of this!” Trent shouted.

“Don’t worry Trent, everything’s going to be fine!” Brendan replied, hefting the squirt bottle nervously. The two exchanged shaky smiles as the two girls traded toothy grins.

“WAAIIITTTT!” Alex shouted, stumbling as she rushed out onto the driveway, pushing past a confused Lupe as she put herself between the two groups.

“Y-You don’t have to fight over me!” Alex proclaimed, smiling and tossing her mussed and unwashed hair over her shoulder in a way she hoped was seductive, “I-I suggest we talk this out, I’m willing to be shared between the two of you, if it will bring peace…” she swooned, “Alex, Trent, I’m so glad you’ve both finally admitted your feelings for-“

“Oh wow,” Brendan started, “Uh, Alex…” he looked at Trent, who returned the same uncomfortable look.

“We’re not fighting over you,” Trent said, turning to face her, “I uh… look, Alex, you’re a wonderful girl.”

“And I’m sure you’ll make some guy very happy someday,” Brendan continued.

“Alex get the fuck out of the driveway, we’re having a monster fight!” Lupe shouted angrily, “and wait a minute, who told you we were monsters?”

“T-The internet,” Alex said as her lower lip quivered, then with downcast eyes she slowly walked back to the porch, standing behind Trent and Lupe.

“I’m actually not a vampire,” Brendan called, “I’m just her-“

“Eternal slave!” Valeria completed.

Brendan scowled, “familiar, I believe was the job title.”

“You wanted Brendan and I to share you?” Trent asked, giving her a wry smile as she headed back for the door.

“W-Well I figured you could start alternating days until I got a bed big enough for all three of us-“ Alex began hopefully, but Lupe cut her off.

“Enough of this Stephanie Meyer crap,” Lupe growled, “Alex, go back in the house, Trent, wolf up with me!”

The two of them howled at the moon together, and Brendan watched, stunned, as the transformation began. Their muscles bulged, ripping their clothing as their eyes went yellow. Fangs dropped from the roofs of their mouths, and each of the two sprouted vulpine ears from the tops of their heads. There was a ripping sound as each of the two sprouted a tail, and Trent watched with a strained expression as talons burst from beneath his fingernails.

“AWOO!” Lupe laughed, baring her claws, “what do you think Brendan?”

Brendan stepped back closer to Valeria, then frowned, “I uh… honestly thought werewolves would be hairier.”

While Lupe and Trent did have a… shaggier appearance, they mostly looked like they hadn’t shaved or cut their hair in a week, not like the beasts depicted in movies.

Lupe shrugged, “yeah, I dated a dude that was a furry one time and he seemed real disappointed” She grinned, her elongated and pointed teeth glinting in the moonlight. She leapt across the driveway at Valeria, catching the vampire off guard. Brendan watched, stunned, as Valeria hissed, rolling with her attacker and swiping her own suddenly clawed hand across the werewolf’s chest.

“Not bad!” Lupe shouted with a grin, looking down at the thin streaks of blood, “let’s see what else you got!”

Brendan hefted the squirt bottle, unsure of what he should do, when he heard a growl behind him. He spun to see Trent, looming over him.

“Brendan, just stay out of it,” he growled.

“N-No…” he said, raising the bottle shakily.

Trent rolled his yellow eyes, “is she hypnotizing you or something?”

“No, I’m her familiar, like I do her bidding,” Brendan said uneasily, “what about you?”

“She bit me by accident and now I’m the beta wolf I guess,” Trent said, “so are we gonna have to do this?”

“Yep,” Brendan said, glaring at his friend’s lupine eyes.

Trent grinned, “Brendan, I love you man but I’ve been wanting to kick your ass for a little while now.” He raised a fist, and Brendan closed his eyes, then squirted the bottle directly in Trent’s face.

“Hey what the fuck-“ he muttered, blinking the tap water out of his eyes.

“Bad dog!” Brendan shouted, squirting it again.

“Cut that out!” Trent shouted, stumbling backwards and wiping his eyes.

Holy shit it’s working, he grinned, advancing on Trent, he sprayed another quick jet of water into his eyes, “down!” he shouted.

“Brendan seriously I’m going to-“ Trent scowled as the water hit his face again, and he growled angrily as he was forced back up onto the porch steps as Brendan advanced with the bottle.

Further down the drive Valeria and Lupe were trading blows. Valeria was the faster of the two, and Brendan glanced back and saw Lupe snarl as a swipe of her claws turned part of a nearby tree to splinters as Valeria seemed to glide away.

“Hold still!” the werewolf snarled.

Valeria took a deep breath, then there was a blur of motion as she began striking at Lupe, quick darting punches that all landed, each one stunning the wolfen girl and knocking her back.

“Oh fuck,” Lupe wheezed, stumbling.

Valeria spun, raising her leg in a kick that let her long red dress flow like a curtain as she knocked the other woman off her feet. With a hiss that bared her fangs she planted her black shoe on Lupe’s chest, pinning her to the ground.

“Do you yield?” Valeria asked, raising a clawed hand high.

Lupe growled angrily, “yeah… I’ll say uncle…”

Valeria smiled, then stepped off, lowering a hand to help the other girl up. Lupe took it, steadying herself.

“So, vampires know karate, huh?” Lupe asked, giving a small smile.

“Ve practice some disciplines,” Valeria said dismissively, “do ve have an understanding volf?”

“Yes ma’am,” Lupe growled, “so what is this, are you taking over the town or something?”

Valeria laughed as Brendan and Trent approached the two of them, “nothing so dramatic, I am merely bringing the denizens of the night under my banner… you two vill serve me in this quest.”

“So we’re your minions now?” Trent asked, gesturing at Brendan, “like him?”

“Yes, there vill be no hurting humans, nor turning anyvun else!” Valeria said sternly.

“Look, he was an accident, and I’m taking very good care of him!” Lupe said, pointing her thumb at Trent.

“Taking care of me?” Trent asked with a smirk, “is that what you call it?”

“Hey, I could have just bit you and ran like most wolves do,” she said defensively.

“How did you know the squirt bottle would work?” Brendan asked, eying Trent uncomfortably.

Valeria just laughed, “vell, most volves vould have torn you to pieces, but I figured your friend vould not and it vould be a decent distraction.”

Trent punched Brendan on the arm, hard enough to make him cry out in pain, “that’s for spraying me in the face,” he grumbled.

“F-Fair enough,” Brendan stuttered, rubbing his sore arm.

“Now then, I am hungry,” Valeria said with a grin, “vun of my new pets shall sate my apetite…”

“Oh shit,” Lupe said, eyes going wide, “you’re going to drink our-“

“Different kind of vampire,” Brendan said with a laugh as she approached Trent.

“What the fuck-“ Trent started as his size began draining away. He spun, horrified as he watched the others rise around him, his wolfen features disappearing as his panic returned his human form. He stopped shrinking when he was maybe waist high, looking up at all of them in wonder.

“Shit, you’re a size vamp? Why didn’t you just shrink me during the fight?” Lupe asked, looking down at Trent.

“I vanted to defeat you on your own terms,” Valeria said dismissively, “and vhile your size is palatable, I do not much care for the flavor of verevolf,” she grinned at Trent, “but it does send the message, no?”

“That it does,” Lupe said with a smirk, scooping Trent up in her arms. “How long is he going to stay all small and cute like this?” she asked.

“Cute?” Trent asked.

“Yeah dummy, you went from big bad wolf to lapdog,” Lupe said with a grin.

“He vill return to his full size by morning,” Valeria said, “vhen I have need of you two I vill have Brendan fetch you, until then… stay out of trouble,” She turned on her heels, “come Brendan!”

She waited expectantly by the car door, and Brendan started as he realized what she wanted, running to her side and opening the door while the wolves and Alex looked on. She gave Lupe a last wink before getting into the car, waiting for Brendan to drive her home.

“S-So just to be clear!” Alex called from the porch, “nobody wanted to fight for my love?”

Lupe rolled her eyes, “Go back inside Alex!”

Alex pouted one final time, before trudging back in the house.

“Are we really working for the vampire now?” Trent asked as Lupe started carrying him towards the door.

“Hey, always follow the strongest,” Lupe said, “and she’s got me beat, so yeah we’re her dogs now.” She grinned, “she didn’t seem so bad, she did make you fun sized…”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Oh yeah,” Lupe growled as they entered the dark house, “like it’s fun pushing you around at full size, but holy shit when you’re small you’re just going to be super helpless!” She kicked the door to his bedroom open, tossing his half-sized form onto the bed where he bounced.

“A-Are you going to stay wolfed up?” Trent asked uncertainly.

Lupe blinked, and her eyes returned to their normal brown, “I’m leaving my ears and tail out,” she said with a smile, her tail swishing behind her as she climbed on the bed.

“Oh wow,” Trent breathed, looking up at Lupe’s gigantic form. She towered at twice his height, grinning down at him eagerly as her clawed fingers tugged at his clothes. A moment later she growled, and tore them clean off, scattering the rags across the floor as she left him naked. Next, she tore her own things off, growling almost angrily as she threw the shredded rags with his.

Lupe always had a chiseled physique, and he grunted as her hand, easily as wide as his chest, pushed him down as she growled lustfully at him.

“This here?” Lupe said with a wolfish grin, pointing to his erection, “this is mine, got it?”

“Yes ma’am!” he gulped.

“Good boy, now time to service the alpha,” she chuckled, climbing up his body. He saw her hips pass over his face; her glistening womanhood visible behind the forest of dark wiry hair. Without warning she ground herself down into him, her opening nearly as large as his face as he struggled to service her.

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, “that’s it, show me who runs this pack!”

He picked up his pace, struggling to breathe as he licked her, the strong smelling juices of her pussy filling his senses with her musk. Within seconds his face was soaked, and she kept grinding herself against him, hissing with pleasure as she came on his face.

“Fuck that’s good,” she laughed, getting up and looking down at Trent’s stunned and glistening face. “Remember the rules after you go down on me?” she asked.

“No washing it off until you say,” he breathed.

“And damn did you get soaked,” Lupe laughed. She looked down his body and playfully flicked his erection, “now what should I do with this?” she teased. She rolled over onto her back with a sigh, beckoning him, “Okay short stuff, because you’re small I’m going to be nice and let you be on top just this once.”

“Finally!” he grinned, looking at the immense woman laying before him. He hadn’t been a wolf for long, but he’d very quickly learned that Lupe always topped, in more ways than one, getting to mount her for a change… well, it was almost worth being half sized. He entered her with a growl of his own, and despite his lack of size, he was rewarded with a quick grunt, leading into a moan of pleasure as Lupe’s strong arms wrapped around him.

“Come on big guy,” she laughed as he thrust into her, “make me cum, I want to fucking scream!”

With a roar he ground himself against her in a final fury of thrusts, and her massive legs wrapped around him, holding his tiny body against her as the two of them reached their finish together.

…

Alex scowled, hearing the screams of pleasure from the other room as she slumped in her chair.

Brendan’s got a vampire girlfriend, Trent’s a werewolf, and nobody wanted to fight over me! she thought angrily. She sighed and leaned up to the keyboard, typing furiously.

I’m sorry to hear it didn’t work out, DannyPhantomFan4Ever typed to her on discord.

I just wanted to have a supernatural romance! Alex typed furiously, is that so much to ask?

She saw the three dots, indicating he was typing something back to her. She frowned; he was taking a long time, like he wasn’t sure what to say…

Do you really want a supernatural romance? DannyPhantomFan4Ever asked.

Yeah, why? Alex replied.

Okay, you’ll need some chalk and some salt, do you know how to draw a pentagram?

Alex raised an eyebrow, and kept reading the instructions.

…

Dr. Stein was waving her electrical instrument over almost everything in the house, “these readings, West, they’re amazing, everything in this house is practically crawling with strange energies!”

“And we’ll take this one too,” West said eagerly, putting another large book on top of the stack that Howard was struggling to carry.

“D-Don’t you guys think she’s going to notice if we steal half her library?”

“Relax Howard,” West said, causing him to grunt as she loaded another book onto him, “we’re just borrowing them.”

“Sure,” he muttered, his knees shaking as he started carrying the pilfered volumes out the door behind the two scientists.

“Oh don’t give me that attitude,” West laughed, “tell you what Howard, when we get back I’m giving you a shot of serum, and once you’re nice and small I’ll put you wherever you want.”

His ears perked up at that, and suddenly the stack of books didn’t seem quite so heavy.

…

Valeria froze as she stepped out of the car, “Somevun vas here!” she snarled, seeing the broken window.

“Oh shit,” Brendan muttered, “I’ll call the cops-“

“Unnecessary,” Valeria muttered.

Brendan was about to ask what she wanted to do, but there was a flash, then he was looking up at the building sized vampire, her dress billowing like parade banners over him.

“I vill put you someplace safe,” she said, kicking her black shoe off, flexing her pale toes as her foot hovered over him. He watched as the milky white digits pinched him up, almost casually dropping his tiny body into the black abyss of her shoe. He looked up and gulped, running for the toe as her foot began to fill the void, her soft nutmeg scented sole sliding over him, coating in him in that thin layer of grime and filling his nose with smell as her toes cradled him in the darkness.

Valeria scrunched her toes once, smiling to herself as she made sure he was secure, then with a scowl turned back to the house. The thieves had broken the front window, and as she moved through the house with a blur she snarled angrily as she saw the ransacked bookshelves.

“Vhat did you fools take?” she muttered, scanning the remaining volumes. She sighed with relief as she saw some of the more dangerous volumes were still in place, but even the squirming of her trapped familiar in her shoe couldn’t bring her any comfort as she realized that one book in particular was missing, a book that in the wrong hands could be a powerful weapon…

With a sigh she hovered down onto her couch, gently taking her shoe off, “Is everything okay?” Brendan shouted, peering up at her.

“They have already left,” Valeria said angrily, “there is no further danger, but…” she bit her lip, her fangs poking the bottom of her face slightly, “vould you… be villing to perhaps stay over during the day? Vhile I sleep I mean.”

He blinked, looking up at her, “are you… scared?”

“It is unnerving to have intruders in my lair,” she admitted, “I vill sleep better knowing somevun I trust is near my coffin, if you can stay that is…”

“Uh, yeah sure, no problem!” he said, giving her a thumbs up.

A surprising expression of relief washed over the vampire’s features, and she sighed, seeming to relax somewhat. A mischievous grin came next, and her foot hovered over the shoe’s entrance, her toes flexing playfully.

“I vill of course regrow you vhen the sun comes…” she purred, “but for now… the night is young.” Brendan was knocked off his feet as her toes came for him again, the gap between her big toe and the next sweeping him off his feet. She squeezed him tight, giggling as he fought the slightest flex of her pale digits.

“Vill you be able to control yourself I vonder?” she asked, slipping the shoe back on entirely and hiding him from her sight again. She giggled as she felt the tiniest poke from between his legs, “The answer vould appear to be no…”

…

“Die Vermis Mysteriis,” West said excitedly, laying the ancient volume on her desk while Stein and Howard looked on. “The Mysteries of the Worm… I can’t believe it’s real!”

“This book, you think it has some relevance to our research?” Stein asked curiously.

“It contains certain alchemical knowledge that holy men decided was too dangerous for humanity,” West said with a distasteful scowl, “but yes… I do believe we can patch some of the holes in the theory behind your growth machine.”

“I get a bad feeling from it,” Howard muttered, “like every word written therein could damn a hundred souls, that the very binding calls forth images of that icy windswept plateau of Leng, where the cannibal bands dance beneath a graveyard of dead stars in-“

“Howard!” Stein snapped, “stop that, you’re freaking me out!”

He blinked, “sorry, it happens sometimes.”

“Oh, it’s okay Howard,” West laughed, closing the book and running a hand through his hair, “I do believe we promised you a reward?”

A glowing yellow syringe appeared in West’s hand, and Howard winced as he felt the familiar pinch on his arm. A moment later the world was spinning as the Doctors grew around him, he felt gloved hands reaching into his loosening clothing, lifting him out as the shrinking continued, a moment later he was no more than a few inches tall, struggling against the thick rubber gloves and seeing his terrified expression reflected in the goggles Stein wore.

“I always love holding him in my hand like this,” Stein breathed, “it makes me feel so…”

“Powerful?” West chuckled, reaching for the tiny student as Stein handed him off, “I know exactly what you mean…” She regarded the shivering boy in her palm a moment, “now, where did you want to go?” she asked with a cool smile.

“I uh…” Howard gulped, these two made him nervous enough at full size, “y-your panties please?”

West shared an amused glance with the other full-sized scientist, “Fairly predictable,” Stein tutted, “well go on then West, you did promise him.”

“I did,” she said with a chuckle, bringing him down to her pants. He nervously allowed himself a smile, but then blinked in confusion as she began moving him around her back. He watched as she pulled her pants away from her pale skin, revealing a plain pair of white underwear underneath, pulled taut over the pair of round globes of her butcheeks. Her giant hand came down once more, pulling the panties away and sliding him inside.

“W-Wait, I wanted the front-“ his protest was cut off as the Professor West released the elastic, snapping him into place as she pulled her belt tight again, sealing her pants shut and muffling any of his cries.

“Oh now doctor,” Stein laughed at the spectacle, “you know what the poor boy had in mind when he asked to go in there, and it wasn’t an evening pressed against your behind.”

“Then he should have clarified,” she said with a wicked smirk. She massaged her buttcheek a moment through her clothes, really forcing Howard between them. “There we go,” she muttered happily when she was sure he was stuck tight, “I fear if I put him in the front, he’d make a distraction of himself,” she sighed, “and I’ve got to begin reading these books we… borrowed.”

“No doubt while sitting on our student assistant,” Stein laughed.

“It’s a wonderful way for a young man to spend an evening,” West said defensively, “maybe not exactly what he had in mind, but I’ll bet young Howard fully enjoys himself, maybe he’ll even prefer it next time!”

Tucked tightly between the older woman’s buttcheeks Howard was already being coated in the sweat and grime of her day, and as she sat on her chair the pressure increased on him from all sides. He squirmed feebly, knowing she had him trapped for as long as she wanted… an intoxicating thought he had to admit to himself.

“You know I’ve really enjoyed having Howard around to ah, assist us,” West muttered, grinding her ass into her chair and no doubt increasing the pressure on the poor student, “we really should get him out of that dreadful literature program and into the sciences.”

“Do you think he’d find that fulfilling?” Stein queried, sitting down in her own chair and chewing a pen cap as she thought it over.

“Considering his current location?” West said with a smug smile, “I’m sure that I could find ways to properly… motivate him.” She thumbed open the first of the books, beginning what was sure to be a long night of reading while her captive squirmed beneath her.