"Your mom really did a number on the North side. It's not terrible, though! We'll fix it in no time. Right, Ori?"

"Of course. Buildings can always be rebuilt." She replies, smiling.

I stare at the two of them through our video call. I hold my phone in one hand, while the other hugs my waist. 

"I'd like to see for myself." I tell them. I glance over to my right, looking down on the city as I stand between it and my bed. From up here, it looks as if there is no damage at all. Looks can be deceiving. "Please. I need to know."

The two of them look at exchange worried looks. Nick then turns the camera around to show me. He pans around to give me a full view of the scene. I see the city street, which has been dug up completely not too far from where they are standing. Large fissures and cracks run along the sidewalks and up the sides of buildings. One of the apartment complexes seems to have been cleaved in half, by a fingernail. The park is practically gone, replace by debris and a deep crater. The more I look, the worse it gets.

And the worse I feel.

 "The residential area and the surrounding streets suffered structural damage. The park is...well, gone." He scratches the back of his head, as he always does when he is feeling nervous. "But hey, no one died! A few broken bones are no big deal."

"Nick!" Ori snaps at him.

"What? I'm trying to tell her that it's okay. They will heal!"

"Jeannine." Ori says, taking the camera from him. She gazes at me intensely though the phone screen. "This may look bad, but it could have been so much worse. Please remember that."

Nick then takes then camera back from her, returning into frame. "What she said. It's not worth beating yourself up over."

"If this isn't, then what is?" I ask him. "I can't believe I let this happen. I can't even help you guys without risking more damage."

I watch the feed become shaky. The two of them seem to be struggling to maintain their balance, suddenly. 

One of the fissures seems to grow, snaking along the street behind them.

"Jeannine, please, calm down. You're causing an earthquake down here!" Nick pleads.

Only then do I realize that I had been pacing back and forth. I had not been treading as lightly as I usually do. That was careless of me. As if they need more to worry about today!

"I'm sorry. I think I should just..." My voice trails off. I cannot think of anything to say, so I move my thumb to the red button and simply end the call. I then walk over to my bed and fall on it, burying my face in a pillow. I just need some space...

Dark thoughts swirl around in my head until my mind goes blank.

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I blink my tired eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the light. 

"Must've fallen asleep." I mumble, sitting up in bed. 

I check the time. I only napped for about an hour. Turning my attention to the phone, I grab it and check the screen. Nick is calling me. I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. It would not be right to ignore him. Reluctantly, I swipe my finger and accept the call.

"Hey, Nick. Listen, I am sorry for-"

"Come take the earring." He instructs me. His tone is not as carefree as it was earlier. "I'm already inside. Let's talk in your living room."

"O-Okay..." Before I can say anything else, he ends the call. I hop of bed and walk toward the city. I retrieve the earring and collect my earpiece from my desk. I put them both on my right ear, like I have done so many times before. I head to the living room, closing the door behind me for privacy.

"Hey." He says, softly.

"Hey." I answer, just as softly.

"I'd like to talk to you. Face to face, if that's okay." 

"Mm." I nod, reaching for my earring. I unlatch it and bring it around to my face, holding it a few inches away.

"I meant like actually face to face. I'd like to be in the open, like we sometimes do in our meetings."

I am usually very reluctant to let him roam around in the open. 

Feeling too exhausted to argue, I agree to his request. I place the earring down on the table and take a seat while he makes his way out. I support my head with my arm, curiously wondering what he wants to talk about.

"There we go. This is a lot more personal. Wouldn't you agree?"

"I guess so." I say while setting my phone up nearby. While he may be able to see me, I cannot without the aid of another video call. Soon enough, his smiling face appears on my screen. I alternate between looking at my phone and looking in his tiny form.

"Jeannine..." He says calmly, his tone almost soothing. I've always liked the sound of his voice, especially when he isn't so excited. I feel like it might have gotten deeper in the last few months. I'm not sure, to be honest. "I'm sure you're tired of me saying that this isn't your fault. What's done is done, and I'm not going to dismiss your feelings like before. You feel like you messed up. It makes sense, knowing how high of a standard you hold yourself to. You want everything to be perfect, and it shatters you when it's not. Am I right?"

I crack a smile, just for a second. "You know me so well. Too well, honestly..."

"Don't I? You know, Ori gave me a lot of crap about that. She said that I should talk to you, since I'm the only one who can cheer you up."

"She may be right." I mumble.

"What?"

"Nothing." I lay my hands on the table and lean forward. Despite how I am feeling, I don't want to seem uninterested. It is clear he is trying his best here. "I'm not the one who needs to be cheered up right now. I don't deserve it."

"Cut yourself some slack. You managed to get this far without a single incident. You kept your word and so much more. People are more forgiving that you think. Especially your people."

"First it was Sara, and now Mom. Tell that to 'my' people who will be camping out in tents because my mom wrecked their homes. Or the injured, who are going to spend weeks recovering." 

Nick exhales loudly. "Look, I won't pretend there are no consequences. You saw the damage with your own eyes. I don't need to tell you how bad it is."

"I don't think I'll ever forget it." I close my eyes, remembering the sight of utter destruction. "It's forever burned into my memory."

"To be honest, neither will I. I don't think I've felt so terrified in my whole life. Not since the day I lost my family."

"I'm so sorry, Nick..." I say, feeling an intense pang of guilt. It is as if I got punched in the stomach. I feel tears well up in my eyes. "I didn't-"

"Hey hey hey! I wasn't finished." He says, stopping me before I can cry. "...I also never felt so relieved. When you stormed in and saved us, it was amazing. The moment I saw you, it was like I knew that everything was going to be okay. Later, when I remember what happened today, it'll be how you protected us yet again, not how you 'failed', if you even want to call it that. Living as a Lilli in a Brob's world was never easy. I used to live in fear every day. The fact that I can rest easy now is such a blessing. The worst I've had to deal with these last few months was your mom. To me, that's lucky!"

"That means a lot to me. Thank you, Nick." I slowly slide my hand closer to him, my finger extended in his direction. "But that's just you. Who says the others feel the same way?"

"Oh, trust me, they do. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm pretty confident of that." He nods over and over. "While you were away, all of us went out to check on each other. Everyone helped. Ori, Icarus, Daedalus, Sam, Aurelia, Dr. Smith, Mr. Grant, and Mayor Saverine to name a few. The people we spoke with all had the same thing to say. Wanna take a guess what that was?"

"That they felt relieved to see me?"

"Not quite. They were ridiculously worried. But not about what you think."

"What in the world could they be more worried about than their own wellbeing?" 

"You, Jeannine. They saw that mortified look on your face. It nearly broke my heart. Don't tell Ori I shared this, but it made her cry. Imagine that; she was right in the thick of it, but was only brought to tears when she saw her friend was upset. She embodies how we all feel. You should know that none of us want to see you sad. Ever."

I watch him walk forward, stopping at my fingertip. He places a hand on it, his touch just barely perceivable, yet so meaningful. Nick's kind words make me feel better. At the very least, my citizens aren't terrified. They still trust me, assuming what he's saying is true. I have no reason to doubt him. He wouldn't deceive me, even if it would make me feel better. Still, the fact remains. This only happened because of me. I am guilty, even if no one wants to blame me.

"You're such a sweet guy, Nick."

"Meh. Only to those who deserve it. You wouldn't believe how mean I can be when I want to! Truly scary stuff." He laughs.

I stare at Nick for a while, lost in thought. When I look at his kind, I feel this intense urge to protect. I am compelled to shield them from the harshness of this world, and occasionally its people. I want to cup my hands over him, blocking any threat. I do not care if my hands get cut up in the process. That is how I feel. That's what I want to do. And that's why I'm struggling to let this go. 

His whole existence is no more than a dot on my table. It's still difficult to wrap my head around the fact that so much personality, humour, and kindness is contained in such a small package. One that is so incredibly delicate that it could be wiped out in an instant. He is someone I rely on so much. He is someone who helped me realize my dream of building Magna Gratia. If he'd been hurt, or worse, died, because of my negligence... I would not be able to live with myself. 

"Nick." I say softly, gazing at him rather than the face on my screen. "I'm so grateful you're okay."

"I know." 

"No, I don't think you do." I lean in a little more. "Seeing you unharmed made me so happy. You are one of my closest friends. I love you with all my heart, Nick. You don't know how worried I was!"

I squint my eyes hard, letting my tears run down my face. I do not care about how I look. There is no such thing as 'pretty crying'. Come to think of it, he is the only one who's seen me cry before. I usually act tougher than I am for the others. Surprisingly, I do not mind being vulnerable around him. 

Nick stays quiet, allowing me a moment to let it out. Once I'm finished, I compose myself and wipe my eyes dry with my other hand.

"I needed that. A lot." I half chuckle and half sob.

"It's okay. Perfectly understandable, my friend." He says, touching my finger again. "I feel the same way. You, Ori, and the first twenty aren't blood, but you're the closest thing I have to family. I'm lucky to have you."

For the first time today, I smile. 

"I feel a lot better now."

"Glad to hear it!" Nick cheers. "From now on, please don't feel as if the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. Mine might be smaller than yours, but I carry my weight. This partnership is a two-way street. I should have reminded you about that lock ages ago. If there's going to be blame, it should be shared. You may be Queen, but this city is just as much mine as it is yours."

"You're right."

"My ears must be playing tricks on me! Did I hear that right? What did you say?" He jokes, putting his hand behind his ear like some cartoon character.

"You're right." I repeat.

"Ah, I didn't quite catch that! Again, please. I need to record it."

With extreme care, I tap my finger on the table, knocking him on his butt. "I've said it enough, okay? Don’t push your luck..."

"Sorry, I was just messing with you. Glad to see you're back to normal."

"My nap did me good."

"Excuse me? This was all me."

"Mhm. You're free to think that." I tease him. 

"Such disrespect! This conversation is over. I'm getting into the cabin. Take me home, already!" He huffs in mock annoyance.

"Yes, sir." I pick up the earring and stand up, only for him to stop me before I can reach my room. 

"Oh! I almost forgot. With everything that happened today, it totally slipped my mind!"

"What did?" I ask, raising the accessory up to my face.

"The mayoral elections. We just finished counting the votes. I wanted to tell you before we made the official announcement."

"I was meaning to ask you about that. So, who won?"

"Chief Saverine. Or, I guess, Mayor Rin, as her campaign posters read."

It takes me a minute to remember who that is. Her name rings a bell, but I can't remember much else. We have been bringing in so many Remnants that I lose track of individual people. 

"Please congratulate her for me. Hopefully this means you won't be drowning in responsibility anymore?"

"I'm a free man, mostly. And I'll do you one better. How's your schedule looking tomorrow?"

"I'll be out with my mom. Why?"

"She wants to meet you. She insisted on it. I'll let her know that'll have to wait another day."

"Please do. I would like to know who the new mayor of my city is. Is she a nice person?"

"She's...something. Better to let you find out for yourself than to paint you a picture."

"Sure? Now you've made me curious."

I re-enter my room, placing the earring down in its rightful place atop one of the larger buildings. Once I stand back up, I make sure to put on a smile. There are countless eyes on me right now. I need to let them know that I am okay; that things will be okay.

"Attention, everyone." I say, allowing a moment for everyone to look my way. I see that some of the moving dots, likely vehicles, have come to a stop. Entire lives have come to a temporary standstill to hear what I have to say. While I am not fond of interrupting daily life like this, but sometimes it's necessary. This is one of those times. 

I take a slow breath, ensuring my tone is as confident as it is serious. "I want to apologize for what happened. While no one lost their life, it does not make this any less serious. No citizen of Magna Gratia should ever have to feel afraid, while I am here to protect the city. I solemnly swear that I will never let anything like this happen again. I want you all to know that."