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Story Notes:
Contains adult language and sexual content.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter is mostly for the Comedy and to get to know the charectars. Enjoy. The next chapter(s) will be alot more for what your on this site for ;-).

"Damn, that movie was almost as good as mine." Chuck Noriss said after watching the movie "Dirty Dozen".

"I bet I could make my own Dirty Dozen, alot better then those Dirty Dozen..." Chuck Noriss bragged, "Yea...And if I did, people wouldn't think i'm fucking dead! I'm going to make my own Dirty Dozen called...The Dirty Dozen 2!!!! Or DD2 for short..." Chuck Pondered on who he should ask to join it..."Aha!" He said. "To the bottom of the ocean!" Chuck Noriss jumped out his window and ran to the ocean.

About 30 minutes later....

Chuck Norris arrived at a small pineapple house under the ocean.

He walked up to the door and kicked it open.

"Hello?" He looked inside and saw SpongeBob, masturbating to a picture of Sandy.

"Oh shit" SpongeBob muttered and his cheeks reddened. He pulled up his pants. "Didn't expect you coming here Chuck Noriss." He said.

"Well, I came here to ask you something." Chuck said.


"Wanna join my Dirty Dozen, or the DD2 for short?"


"I need an explosives guy."

"What makes you think I know about explosives?" SpongeBob looked around nervously.

"I know why earthquakes happen in the ocean Sponge, i'm no fool." Chuck said.

"Fine," SpongeBob sighed. "I'll go get my nukes, mines, and grenades."

"Wait?! Nukes?!?!" Chuck Noriss said aghast.

"Bought 'em off of Ebay" Said SpongeBob. He went to his room for what seemed like 5 minutes and came back with a bag across his back. "Ready." SpongeBob said.

"Okay, Now we need some kind of computer expert or genius hacker" Chuck Noriss said.

"I know a guy who's pretty good with computers" Sponge suggested.

"Lead the way."

1 hour later they arrived at a house and rang the door bell.

A 50 year old looking woman arrived at the door.

"Can we go inside to talk to John?" Asked SpongeBob.

"Why certainly...Johns never had friends over" The woman said excitedly. "John! Some friends are over to see you!"

10 seconds pass..."MOM! I TOLD YOU I'M URLAK THE WIZARD!!! TELL THEM THEY MAY ENTER!!!" Yelled a nerdy sounding voice.

"He's in the basement..." The mother ushered SpongeBob and Chuck in to the basement.

Chuck and Sponge walked down the basement steps to see a geeky kid with lots of pimples on his face, very chubby, huge glasses, and short brown hair. He was playing on the computer.

"John" SpongeBob said.

"I'm Urlak!" He protested.

"Okay whatever. What the hell kind of game are you playing?" Sponge asked.

Urlak looked shocked and disgusted. "It is no game!" He snapped. "It is an MMORPG! Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game! Maybe you've heard of it."

"Nope." Chuck Noriss said.

"Well why are you here than?" Urlak asked.

"We want you to join the Dirty Dozen 2." Chuck said.

"Why me?" Urlak asked.

"We need a computer expert." SpongeBob said.

"Uh...Okay..." Urlak really didn't know anything about his computer except that he was a level 90 Mage.

"Don't we need a sniper?" Urlak suggested.

"Yea!" Chuck realized.

"I know a guy perfect for the job." Urlak said.

They arrived at a pond 1 hour later.

"Why are we at a pond?" SpongeBob asked.

"You'll see." Urlak said.

They walked to the edge of the pond and a duck was walking around.

"There he is!" Urlak said.

"Where?" SpongeBob and Chuck asked in unison.

"There." Urlak pointed at the duck.

"Behind the duck?" Chuck asked.

"No he is the duck," Urlak said. "And his name is Jeffy!"

"Quack." Said Jeffy.

Chuck shrugged. "He'll do." He walked over to Jeffy and picked him up.

"8 more people to go!" SpongeBob said.

"Quack." Quacked Jeffy.

They looked around all day and at last found the 8 people they needed. They met at Chuck Norisses dining room table and had a meeting.

"We now have 12 people and are the DD2!" Chuck said.

"YAY!" Everyone said.

"Role call will begin." Chuck said.


"Here" Said Sponge.


"here." Said Urlak.


"Quack!" Quacked Jeffy.

"MC Hammer?"

"Hamma Time!" said MC Hammer.

"8 year old brat?"

"I WANT ICE CREAM!" Screamed the brat.

"Micheal Jackson?"

"HeeHee" Said Micheal Jackson as he touched the brat.

"DoDo the clown?"

"HARHAR I'm here!" Said DoDo and he threw a pie at Micheal Jackson.

"Osama Bin Ladin?"

"ALA!...I mean here!" Said Osama Bin Ladin.


"Nien!" Yelled Hitler.


"I LOVE YOU YOU LOVE ME!" Said Barney.


"DUH!" Said Timmy.

"Dude he's disabled why is he in this?" Asked MC Hammer.

"He's the best pilot we could find." Said Chuck.

"He can't even move his hands allah dammit!" Said Osama.

"Throw him to the furnace!" Said Hitler.

"Too soon..." Said SpongeBob shaking his head.

"Oh come on I was joking." Said Hitler.

"Hitler, just don't talk okay?" Said Barney.

"Okay, we're goin on our first mission tonight!" Said Chuck Norris.

"YAY" Everyone yelled.

"Theres some illegal drug dealing going on at this house. I think." Said Chuck.

"To the car!" said DoDo the clown.

DoDo led everyone to one of those really tiny clown cars.

"Dude what the hell?" Said Urlak.

"i'll help you all in!" Said DoDo and he shoved everyone in the tiny car then got in.

"Micheal jacksons touching meeee!" whined the brat.

"Shut up or i will drive this car off of a side walk!" Yelled DoDo.

"We're here." Said Chuck.

They arrived at a normal looking normal sized normal normal normal normal house.

"You sure this is it?" Asked Sponge.

"Yes, now break down the door MC Hammer." Chuck said.

"HAMMA TIME!" MC Hammer took out a hammer and smashed the door open.

Everyone ran in with their guns raised.

There was a naked red headed white woman with huge breasts and a nice ass comeing out of her bathroom from the shower.

"PERVERTS!" She screamed and pulled out some kind of gun.

"Gun!!" Yelled Chuck.

She shot all of them and they all fell to the ground unconscious but still alive, except for Jeffy who she looked at hungrily.

"Quack..." He said nervously backing into a corner.

Chapter End Notes:
To be continued...
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