Aaron sighed as he sat in the police interrogation room, listening to the detectives argue outside. A moment later a heavyset man with a mustache opened the door, taking a seat across from him with a scowl.

“So Mr. Aaron Smith, you claim you’ve been traveling for the last… eighteen months?” the detective barked, “even though we’ve got a death certificate saying you died in a car crash, coincidentally the same day that the serial killer Aaron Smith became active following his alleged death? Where did you go?”

“I traveled to a very hot place south of here,” Aaron said flatly. The detective glared at him, but Aaron didn’t elaborate.

The door buzzed, and a group of men in suits stormed in, “we’re from the firm of Powers and Price!” the one in front started, “our client doesn’t have to answer any more questions, and we’ve cleared his release immediately!”

“Powers and Price?” the detective balked, “fine kid, go, but before you do, how the hell does some company accountant who’s been traveling for the last year and a half afford a team of stiffs from the biggest law firm in this state?”

“You don’t have to answer that!” the lawyer shouted.

Aaron just chuckled as he got up to go, “I’ve got friends in low places,” he said, heading out the door.

“You tell Cydea we’re even,” the lawyer hissed under his breath as the walked out of the police precinct together.

…

Amy turned the steaks on the backyard grill, her wide brimmed hat keeping the harsh afternoon sun off her pale skin as she looked up at the sun with a scowl. She glanced at the enclosed porch of her large suburban home, something she was able to afford thanks to a demonic tip regarding lottery numbers, and smirked as she didn’t see Cydea or Gabriella. Muttering an incantation under her breath she held her hand out over the meat, her fingers glowing with magic.

“Amy!” Cydea shouted from inside the house, “don’t use magic to cook those steaks, it ruins them!”

Amy rolled her eyes, but let the sparks tracing over her fingers vanish. Cydea wasn’t the worst demon to have owning your soul, but she insisted that Amy cook for her every time she came topside to visit, which was often.

A few minutes later she carried the plate of freshly grilled steaks in to the dinner table, where Gabriella, Cydea, and Aaron were already waiting. Cydea’s pointed tail twitched excitedly, and the batlike wings on her back, a new feature she’d gained since her recent promotion, fluttered once against the back of her chair. Gabriella grinned too, the flame burning on her halo dancing just a little higher for a moment as she tucked her own raven black feathered wings against the chair’s back. Amy eyed them for a moment before moving on. Gabriella often tried to disguise herself as a “normal” angel, with white wings and a robe, only letting her guard down and revealing her true fallen self around her close friends.

“Did the cops realize you weren’t the killer clown guy?” Amy asked Aaron, placing the serving plate in the center of the table.

“I’m pretty suspicious obviously, what with coming back to life and all,” Aaron chuckled, “but I’m also obviously not that Aaron Smith. Thanks for the lawyers by the way,” he nodded to Cydea.

“You’ll pay me back for them later,” the demoness said with a wink.

“I can’t believe nobody has gone after the other Aaron Smith yet,” Gabriella mused, cutting into her own steak.

“He’s in a sort of paperwork black hole,” Cydea shrugged, “Hell won’t touch him until he dies for good, and Heaven obviously wants nothing to do with him, Morticia says zombies are outside of her jurisdiction.”

“Amy, couldn’t you do something about this?” Aaron asked with a sigh.

Amy shuddered, “No way, I’m not going after some zombie clown for you!”

Aaron rolled his eyes, “I’ve been meaning to read up on zombies anyways I guess…”

“I wouldn’t go after him this weekend,” Cydea said, “Gabby and I have a work conference we’re going to be at for the next few days.”

“A work conference?” Amy asked skeptically.

“We’re having a big sitdown with some other pantheons to talk about AI,” Cydea explained, “it’s really shaking things up in the afterlives.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow, “It definitely could streamline your IT departments, no offense, but Hell seems pretty behind when it comes to computers-“

“Oh no, we’re not talking about that, ” Gabriella laughed, “We need to decide if AI can have a soul, and if so, who gets it when it dies, or gets deleted or whatever.”

“It’s just going to be a rehash of the conference we had back in the eighties over whether or not robots have souls,” Cydea groaned, “let’s hope nobody tries to get us all to watch Short Circuit this time.” She turned to Aaron and Amy, “Anyways, don’t get into anything while we’re gone!”

“Hey, we can handle ourselves,” Amy said defensively.

“I mean, it’s not our first rodeo,” Aaron smirked.

“Amy you lost your soul to me twice, ” Cydea scowled, “and Aaron… you’re like, cosmically unlucky, it’s mostly worked out for us, but don’t take any chances! With all the demons, gods, and fae at this conference it’s going to have a ton of ethereal interference, it’s going to be harder to get in contact with Gabby and me, so just hang around the house and practice magic or something, okay?”

…

The group had enjoyed a game of Settlers of Catan after dinner, and the evening had ended on a high note as Aaron had finally been able to win a round. He couldn’t help but grin as he thought about it while brushing his teeth, walking back into his bedroom with a yawn.

“Aw, not too tired yet, are we?” Cydea’s teasing voice called.

He smirked as he saw the demoness sprawled over his bed, giving him an amorous look as her tail swished back and forth seductively.

“I think I have time for one more thing before bed,” he said, crawling onto the bed, making the springs creak as he positioned himself over her. They shared a passionate kiss, their hands roaming each other’s body, and it broke as her tail whipped around, spanking him.

“You at your full size certainly has some benefits,” Cydea growled, running her fingers along his skin, “But… I think a little reminder of what’s waiting for you downstairs is in order!”

Aaron’s clothes popped away from him, becoming vast tents of fabric as Cydea instantly reduced him to four inches tall. He flailed for half a second as he fell through the air, but her tail shot out, coiling around him and hefting his tiny body up in front of her face as she grinned excitedly. At this size the faint hint of cinnamon that always followed the demoness was an intoxicating and overpowering aroma, one that intensified his arousal as he squirmed feebly in her tail’s coiled grip.

“There’s no point in resisting,” she taunted, “You’re mine!” her clothes melted off of her like a powder, falling away and disappearing to reveal her naked form. Aaron gulped, ever since Cydea’s demonic powers had been increased, he could have sworn her breasts were larger, rounder, her hips thicker and swaying more as she walked. Looking down at them from a few inches tall, he had no doubt now that they’d grown, and the demon seemed amused by the way he stared at them, wide eyed. Slowly her tail lowered him down onto her chest, uncoiling and abandoning him in the valley. With a groan Cydea pressed at the sides of her breasts, causing them to collapse inward on him like an avalanche. The pressure built as the massive tits weighed in on him, the softness molding around his body and preventing movement as she squeezed as tight as she could.

*crunch*

Aaron reappeared lower on the bed, between her towering thighs, dizzy and blinking from the apparent destruction of his physical form. While Cydea never let him feel much pain, it was always a strange feeling when he “died” at tiny size.

“Oops,” she chuckled, “I guess I should be a little more gentle with you.”

Her tail whipped up again, the point gently poking into his back, causing him to stumble forward as it forced him closer to the slit between her legs. Her fingers came down, spreading it open as the pointed appendage continued to slowly but firmly frogmarch him across the short expanse of mattress towards the glistening entrance. One final poke sent him in head first, and, her fingers came down to finish the job of pushing him inside of her.

“Ah…” she groaned, arching her back as she felt him squirm within her, hitting all the right spots as his tiny body was gripped tight.

Aaron felt the compression from the contracting walls, and the sweet cinnamon taste of Cydea became all consuming as her arousal built. The pressure intensified as he continued his well practiced motions, bringing the gigantic demoness to a roaring orgasm that very nearly destroyed him again as she gasped in pleasure, gripping the bedspread as her climax shook his world like an earthquake.

Slowly, the tension eased as her breathing slowed, and a minute later he felt a pair of fingers grip his leg, pulling him out as she panted happily.

“You’ve gotten so good at doing that,” she drawled, lowering him to the side of the bed. With a dismissive wave of her hand he returned to full size, collapsing in bed next to her. He started in surprise as he felt the velvety skin of her tail coiling around him again, or at least around one part of him, slowly stroking up and down while the demoness crossed her arms behind her bed with a pleased sigh.

“I almost miss when we lived together down below,” he chuckled, biting his lip as she picked up her pace.

“You’ll end up back there eventually,” she said with a shrug, “just try to enjoy your second shot at life for now… but seriously, stay out of trouble while I’m gone!”

“W-What- Oh god,” he bucked his hips as her skillful motions brought him closer to orgasm, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Cydea grinned as he couldn’t hold back anymore, bucking his hips against her coiled tail’s motion as he came, “You might think you’re still just my little mortal toy Aaron,” she cooed, playing with his hair as he panted in his post orgasm bliss, “but after that business with the trial? And helping defeat the Outer Gods? You and Amy are on the radar of the entire spirit world now.”

“We’ll be careful,” he promised, closing his eyes as tiredness set in.

…

Eir looked down at Valhalla’s feasting table imperiously, watching the tiny mortals battle across the long wooden expanse. She nodded in approval as one man in her collection of souls, a berserker who had died fighting Harald Bluetooth, smoothly decapitated his foe, one she had collected from Palantoke’s host. The defeated appeared again a few moments later, unharmed and with a fresh body, twirling his weapon with a grin.

“Lady Eir!” he shouted, looking up at the Valkyrie with a grin, “I will smite him and honor you with my victory!”

“Go forth,” she muttered, waving him off to rejoin the battle.

“Eir, what troubles you?” her sister in arms Sigrun asked, her white wings fluttering behind her.

Eir glanced down at her sister in arms, the petite Valkyrie barely came up to her own ample chest, with a short haircut that framed her round face nicely. With a smirk she ruffled the younger Valkyrie’s hair, causing her to recoil with an angry scowl.

“You will think me a fool if I voice my thoughts,” Eir muttered.

Sigrun rolled her eyes, “You’ve brought more worthy mortals to Valhalla than any of us!” She gestured at their long feasting table, where the mortals continued their battle for the hundreds of other Valkyries, watching with amusement, occasionally cheering as their chosen champions performed well. “What could possibly make any of us think less of you?”

“When the reaper gave me a chance to take the souls of the mortals Amy and Aaron, I failed,” Eir said miserably, “and against one of Heaven’s angels…” her fist clenched angrily, “they already insult us by taking forms in mockery of our own!” she gestured at her wings, “after centuries I had a chance to avenge our honor, and I failed against a cheap copy of ourselves…”

“They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” another voice drawled.

“Karela,” Eir muttered, trying to be polite.

The brown haired Valkyrie had jet black wings, and a long scar down her cheek that Eir herself had given her long ago. Karela took a seat next to Eir with a chuckle, reaching for the valkyrie’s own wine glass and pulling it close, taking a long and antagonistic sip while Eir fought the urge to draw her sword.

“What business does a servant of Hel have here?” Eir snapped finally.

“No business,” Karela sighed, “Just boredom.” She glanced at the table of mortals doing battle, and with a grin reached for one. Eir watched icily as the black winged Valkyrie plucked one of her mortals from the table, surprising the tiny man for a brief moment before dropping him between her breasts. “Oh look Eir, it seems one of your chosen has a new opponent?”

“Put him back,” Eir sighed in annoyance.

“Oh come on,” Karela teased, “Surely a warrior chosen by the great Eir can defeat a pair of tits?” She glanced down as the man squirmed, and with a smug grin she extended a single finger, pressing down on his head and drowning him beneath the ample bosom.

“Stop it right now!” Sigrun growled, leaping up and drawing a small dagger.

“Peace Sigrun,” Eir grumbled, glancing around the table and seeing the concerned glances of the other Valkyries. “Karola, the man has feasting and fighting to do, cease your torment or I shall give your left cheek a scar to match the right.”

“Torment?” Karela laughed, “I would call this fate a reward!” She pressed against the sides of her breasts, squeezing them together as she made eye contact with Eir. The pressure pulverized the tiny mortal, who had time for a brief cry of pain before his body dissipated. He reappeared at the battle a few minutes later, looking up at the giant women shakily, before giving Eir a grin and running back into the fray with a shout. Karela smirked, “Come now Eir, I know that you Feasting Hall Valkyries toy with your mortals, what makes it so wrong when I do it?”

“Because they’re ours, ” Eir muttered, “We chose them from the battlefields ourselves! We’ve nurtured their warrior’s instincts, their honor! Loki’s offspring would know nothing of such things.”

“Yeah!” Sigrun butted in, sticking her tongue out at Karela.

Karela just shrugged, “and yet the man and woman who challenged Nyarlathotep herself are not in your stable?”

“They got lucky!” Sigrun said angrily, “Eir would have claimed them if the Angel and the Demon had fought fair!”

Karela snapped her fingers, and a passing servant handed her her own cup of mead, which she swirled a moment with a smug smile, “Yes, well we all had fun riding to the rescue, but it was the two mortals who freed the Reaper and set things right, while we were trapped beyond the firmament.” She sipped the mead, “Hel has spoken often of late of their courage and craftiness, I think she would like for them to reside here in Valhalla, even if they were here in your silly feasting hall instead of her own caverns.”

“We lost Death’s contest,” Eir said slowly, “they are beyond our reach.”

Karela grinned mischievously, “They were, but both died in battle against the Outer Gods, and Death restored both to life, which I think undoes any prior claims on them!”

Eir thought on this, and Sigrun looked at her with a hopeful smile, “What do you propose?” she said finally.

“My trolls have long been watching Amy and Aaron,” Karela said with a grin, “The demon and the angel are away for the next two days at a meeting over…” she scowled, “something to do with those machines mortals love to tinker with, it matters not, they will be alone!”

“We could grab them!” Sigrun said excitedly, “Eir, two people who fought the crawling chaos would love Valhalla, I just know it!”

“It would be questionable, ” Eir mused.

“The humans have a saying,” Karela grinned, “Possession is nine tenths of the law?”

Eir smirked, “Karela, you’re the best enemy a woman could have.” She stood up, drawing her sword, “I go to Earth to bring new champions!” she bellowed.

The gathered Valkyries looked at her, stunned, then cheered. At the end of the table Freya herself, a matronly looking woman in a horned helm and with golden wings twice the size of Eir’s own, raised an eyebrow, but silently raised a glass of mead in toast, nodding in approval.

…

Amy frowned as she stroked her hand over her crystal ball, “Come on…” she muttered, “show me the future!”

Amy had spent much of her life fascinated by the occult and witchcraft, culminating in her showdown with Cydea over Aaron’s soul shortly after his death. It had ended poorly… though it had set Amy firmly on a left hand path, one that ended with her being one of the more powerful spellcasters on earth, or at least Cydea claimed so.

The crystal ball though, had so far proved to be a dud. With a huff she sat on her bed, glaring at it angrily, “Five hundred bucks down the drain… Seriously, tell me what’s coming or I’m using you as a bowling ball!”

The crystal thrummed to life, and Amy sat upright, listening to the sound of drums coming through the crystal.

Oh ee oh

The chant began slow, and Amy leaned in as drums and a heavy guitar joined it.

The Wise Woman said, once you’re hardened in battle there’s no going back…

Fight or fall!

“A-Aaron!” Amy shouted, “Can you come up here for a minute?”

…

Eir, Sigrun, and Karela stood before the rainbow bridge, extending down to Earth as it rotated below them like a perfect blue marble.

“We need a battlefield to appear on,” Eir muttered, “One with participants who honor the old ways…”

“So few humans do anymore,” Sigrun said sadly, “and they’re all there!” she pointed to Scandinavia, “and Amy and Aaron live there!” she pointed to the North American continent.

“Step back girls,” Karela chuckled, “battlefields honoring the old ways might be rare, but if you stretch things a bit you can still find them…” The bridge shifted as Karela honed in a location near Amy and Aaron’s home.

As the trio of Valkyries raced down the bridge towards earth, a pair of slitted yellow eyes opened. A towering woman with dark green hair shimmered into being, watching them go as her scaled tail swished behind her.

“The fools go to Midgard to steal Hell’s prize?” the world serpent chuckled to herself, “this will not go unanswered Eir…” she glanced at a faraway hill beyond the feasting hall, where a massive tree stood, surrounded by a soft golden glow. Jormungand’s mouth watered as she imagined sinking her teeth into the soft roots of Yggdrasil, the world tree. She slowly grinned, “my hour nears, I can feel it!” With a laugh she disappeared once again, seeming to sink into the ground itself.

…

Bjorn Jackson, or “Bobby” as his friends called him, pounded his chest, causing his Minnesota Vikings jersey to ripple outwards, catching the light of the Waffle House sign as he squared off against the group of men wearing Packer’s memorabilia.

“Yous guys don’t know who you’re messing with!” he shouted angrily.

“Minnesota’s got ten thousand lakes and we’re gonna piss in every one!” the Wisconsinite slurred back, raising his fists with a grin.

Bobby gritted his teeth, “I’m warning you guys, you have no idea how rough we Vikings fans can get!”

A bolt of lightning burst down out of the clear sky, and a trio of women with swords at the ready appeared behind him. The Packers fans gaped, stepping back slowly as the trio of imposing looking women flourished their weapons eagerly. Without a word, they turned to run.

“That’s right!” Bobby called with a grin, “And you remember that every time you go to a Waffle House!”

“Well done Bjorn,” Eir said, clapping him on the shoulder and startling him. “Valhalla waits for you, now go and spread the word of the Vikings to all who would question our power!” she turned to Karela, smiling in approval as the yellow light of the Waffle House sign bathed them, “A battlefield with those who honor the old ways! Karela, I should have never doubted you!”

Bobby blinked, “Uh, okay?” he watched the trio of women go, walking into the night as he lay bathed in the light from the Waffle House light. Shit, he thought angrily, I finally met a girl who likes the Vikings, and I didn’t even ask for her number!

…

SWEDISH PAGANS! MARCHING ASHORE

Aaron frowned down at the crystal ball as it continued to bellow heavy metal lyrics, “Okay, have you tried resetting it?”

“I asked it to tell me what was coming,” Amy growled, “now it won’t stop singing this song!”

“Well that’s ominous,” Aaron muttered.

The doorbell rang, and both of them looked at one another.

“I’ll get the gun,” Aaron sighed.

“We have a gun?” Amy asked.

“It’s a confetti shooter loaded with rock salt,” Aaron explained, “most supernatural stuff doesn’t like salt. Gabriella also gave me a holy hand grenade, but we’re not supposed to use it unless the Easter Bunny shows up.”

…

Eir, Sigrun, and Karela stood outside the house, Eir frowned and pressed the doorbell again. The long ding echoed through the house.

“Perhaps they are out in battle?” Sigrun said excitedly.

“No, look!” Karela said excitedly, pointing to the doorbell camera, “They see us through this electronic eye!” She bent down, grinning and brushing her hair out of her eyes, “Hello!”

Eir pounded on the door, “Aaron, it’s me, Eir! I’ve come to reclaim you and Amy, as I should have the last time we met!”

The intercom crackled to life, “Uh, hi Eir,” Aaron’s voice called, “I thought that whole thing was settled? Cydea won the battle, remember?”

“You live once more,” Eir said firmly, “and Amy fell in battle! We are the choosers of the slain, and we’ve chosen both of you!” Eir raised her leg in a furious kick, forcing the door open with a crash.

“Oh shit!” Aaron shouted. He lifted the confetti gun, squeezing the trigger and sending a burst of glitter, streamers, and rock salt at the Valkyrie. With a roar Eir manifested a bronze shield, blocking the salvo easily. Behind her Karela and Sigrun ran into the house, dodging a pair of lightning bolts that flew from Amy’s hands as she chanted spells.

“Magnificent!” Sigrun marveled excitedly, “Friends, your warrior’s instincts are impressive, lay down your arms and come with us!”

“Never!” Amy shouted angrily.

Eir leapt, her wings flapping as she gripped Amy by the throat, lifting the witch off the floor. Amy’s hands went to her neck, trying to pry the Valkyrie’s grip free.

Aaron gulped as Karela and Sigrun went to either side of him, and he glanced down at the confetti gun nervously, “I’m warning you two, we’re friends with a lot of angels and demons, and if you hurt us-“

“Hurt you?” Karela laughed, sheathing her sword, “Eir, perhaps we’ve gone about this all wrong?”

“Hm?” Eir asked, looking away from the struggling Amy. She chewed her lip a moment, then slowly lowered Amy to the floor. “Yes, Karela is right, we did not come here to fight, we’re here to bring you home!”

“We are home!” Amy rasped, rubbing her neck angrily, “and we don’t want to go with you!”

“They just don’t know how great Valhalla is!” Sigrun said, “Let’s show them! A night of revelry is called for!”

“A fine suggestion,” Eir nodded, “put them in their spirit forms!” She reached for Amy’s forehead, and the goth gasped as she felt a buzzing feeling racing along her body. A moment later she was staring up at the grinning Valkyrie, who had become a hundred foot colossus, the carpet fibers rising around her ankles like tall grass as she shrank.

Karela grabbed Aaron’s arms, holding them behind his back as Sigrun placed her hands on his cheeks, “This is going to be so much fun!” the petite Valkyrie squealed. Aaron soon found himself looking up at the short blonde as she and Karela put their hands on their knes, looking down at him with grins on their faces as he found himself once again at a few inches tall.

“Let us prepare food and drink!” Eir called with a grin. She reached down and plucked a squirming Amy off the floor. Amy squeaked, struggling against the Valkyrie’s massive fingers as she was stuffed deep into the gigantic blonde’s ample cleavage. Amy was swallowed up instantly, the warm pillow flesh molding around her and cutting her struggle short.

“Where do we get food on Earth?” Sigrun wondered, scooping Aaron up off the floor.

“I’m told that something called a pizza can be summoned via a ritual,” Karela mused, “if mortals can do it, it can’t be that difficult.”

“Let’s do it, while we’re here we should try new things!” Sigrun said, grinning down at Aaron. She shot a glance at Eir, who chuckled as Amy struggled between her breasts. She looked down at her own, much smaller chest, and with a blush brought Aaron down to it, sliding him inside of her low cut tunic. Aaron grunted, as he started sliding downward, and Sigrun shivered as he gripped her nipple, holding onto it to keep himself from sliding lower.

“I don’t think you’ve got the assets to make that work Sigrun,” Karela chuckled, watching Aaron fall down the front of the other Valkyrie’s shirt.

“I do too!” Sigrun squealed in dismay.

Aaron couldn’t weigh in, Sigrun’s breasts were pert, but the small slopes weren’t large enough to keep him held in place, and he shouted as he lost his grip on Sigrun’s nipple, falling down through her tunic. He bounced off the girl’s toned tummy, falling out of the bottom of her shirt and landing on the carpet with a grunt.

“Aw, don’t feel too bad,” Karela said teasingly, causing Sigrun to squeak in surprise as she cupped the girl’s chest, “you’ll just have to put our new mortal somewhere else.” She reached down for Aaron again, grasping him before he could get his bearings and run. Sigrun tensed as Karela pulled at the hem of her trousers, gripping her underwear too. With a smirk she tipped her hand, letting Aaron tumble down. He landed on the soft hammock of the valkyrie’s cotton panties, facing the curvature of a well toned ass the size of a house.

“See?” Karela chuckled, releasing the fabric and hiking it up, giving Sigrun a slight wedgie, driving Aaron straight up between her cheeks as the shorter Valkyrie blushed. She teasingly spanked Sigrun, causing her to squeak in surprise, “I’m sure he’s very happy there!”

“Y-Yeah!” Sigrun said with a weak smile, her wings fluttering in excitement.

“Let us see what spirits these two have stocked,” Eir said. Amy’s world jiggled up and down as Eir walked into their kitchen, throwing the cabinets open. “Hm… Fireball Whiskey? The demon’s foul brew no doubt,” Eir muttered, “No wine, no mead…” She sighed, “It seems that I’ll need to exert myself after all.” She turned to the kitchen table, clapping her hands and causing a massive feast to appear, smoked sausages, a full ham, and massive jugs of mead shimmered into being.

“Now that is a good use of godly power!” Karela said excitedly, grabbing a jeweled cup and taking a long drink from it.

“I’ll see about summoning us one of those pizzas ,” Sigrun said excitedly, “This is wonderful, I haven’t feasted on Earth in centuries!” She bounded towards the table and sat down. Aaron shouted as he felt the massive weight of the Valkyrie coming down on him, and a moment later an audible * crunch* was heard as Sigrun blushed. “Oh,” she muttered as Aaron reappeared on the table, “Oops, sorry?”

“It happens,” Aaron sighed.

“Aaron and Amy have spent much of their time in spirit form in the custody of the demon Cydea,” Eir mused, looking down at her chest, “they might have become accustomed to rougher treatment than some of our souls.” She grinned, pressing her breasts together. Amy managed one quick squeak of surprise before being pulverized, reappearing at tiny size next to Aaron on the table.

“Is that true!?” Karela grinned, leaning in close and causing both of the tiny humans to stumble backwards, “do you guys like being squished?”

“No!” Amy shouted angrily.

Aaron blushed, “I mean, it’s not so bad once you get used to it-“

Karela burst out laughing, sweeping the two up in one hand as her cup sloshed in the other, “Finally some toys that appreciate being played with! Join us for our feast!” She took a seat at the table, placing the two next to her own plate.

“What do we do?” Amy asked.

Aaron shrugged, “I guess we eat? They’ve got us Amy, there’s probably nothing wrong with playing along for now.”

He walked over the table as the other Valkyries sat down, each of them downing cups of strongly scented mead that magically refilled as soon as they were empty. Aaron looked up at a pile of glazed pastries that loomed over him like a mountain. With a chuckle he leaned into one, biting into it and savoring the sweat taste. Amy rolled her eyes, but joined him, breaking off a crumb and eating it as she looked up at the trio of giant winged women, who were growing increasingly intoxicated as the endless flow of mead took its toll.

“You two are going to love Valhalla,” Eir slurred, taking a bite of a large roasted turkey leg, washing it down with another long gulp from her cup. “My own magically created foods are nothing compared to the feasts that we will have there!”

“I * hic * think you did a good job!” Sigrun said, her face red as she reached for one of the pastries.

Aaron felt the ground underneath him lurch as the dessert he was standing on was lifted off the tray. Amy screamed in surprise, and he leapt, grabbing her hand before she fell. The sticky glaze on her hand made it difficult to hold on, and he grimaced as her fingers slipped through his. Amy flailed through the air, finally splashing into the large pool of Sigrun’s goblet of mead. She surfaced with a gasp, treading as the sweet spirit stung her eyes.

“Hey!” Aaron shouted, waving his hands as Sigrun’s mouth opened before him, “Wait-“

Sigrun took a bite of the pastry, chewing it slowly. Within her mouth Aaron was tossed back and forth, narrowly avoiding being crushed by the gigantic molars as the Valkyrie’s saliva welled up around him, trapping him in the chewed mouthful of pastry.

Okay, he thought, his heart racing, calm down, you’ve done this before, just get her attention before she-

*GULP*

Sigrun swallowed, ending Aaron’s plans as he was sent rocketing down her throat to her belly. The petite Valkyrie let out a tiny belch as the mouthful of food hit her stomach, and the other two Valkyries laughed uproariously, raising their drinks in toast as Sigrun blushed.

Aaron landed with a splash, stumbling to his feet as the chewed remains of the desert landed around him. In the dark he stumbled to the wall of her stomach, patting and wincing as his skin started to itch slightly from the acids. He knew from experience that the feeling would intensify soon, and he knocked his fist on the ridged wall of Sigrun’s stomach.

“Hey!” he shouted, “respawn me or something!”

Sigrun giggled at the butterfly feeling in her stomach, “Oh my, that’s an odd sensation,” she muttered, “Eir, did you make this mead differently than usual?”

“No,” the other Valkyrie shrugged, “perhaps you’ve simply had too much?”

“Or not enough!” Karela laughed, “A toast, to Aaron and Amy, Valhalla’s newest residents!”

Sigrun giggled drunkenly, raising her cup again. Amy looked up in surprise at the impossible walls of the cup, realizing what was coming.

“Hey!” she shouted as loud as she could, “Wait, I’m in here!”

Karela spotted the tiny woman splashing about in Sigrun’s cup as she lifted it to her lips, and she couldn’t help but chuckle as she watched the bug sized Amy struggle to swim against the flow of the liquid as Sigrun sipped at her cup. The tiny woman and the black winged Valkyrie briefly made eye contact, and with a chuckle Karela reached for Sigrun’s cup. For one hopeful moment Amy thought she was about to be rescued, but Karela grabbed the bottom of the cup, tilting it upwards and causing Sigrun to squeak in surprise.

“Drink the whole thing down!” Karela laughed, “it’s a night for merriment after all!”

“Oh, you bitch!” Amy howled, watching the pair of giant lips open behind her as Sigrun eagerly gave in to Karela’s teasing. There was on final gulp, and Amy was swept down into the black chasm of Sigrun’s throat.

Aaron heard a sound like a waterfall behind him, and the dank interior of the stomach suddenly filled with the sweet scent of mead. A moment later he heard Amy coughing as she splashed around in the darkness.

“What the fuck!?” she shouted angrily.

“Amy, over here!” Aaron shouted.

“What now!?” Amy asked angrily.

Aaron sighed, “Either she notices we’re in here and teleports us out or something, or we get digested.”

“This skinny blonde bitch has had a frat house’s worth of booze,” Amy grumbled, “We’re not getting out of here…”

…

The doorbell rang, alerting the trio of Valkyries to the arrival of the mysterious “pizza” that Sigrun had managed to order. Laughing they stood up from the table, stumbling slightly and spilling some of their drinks on the floor.

“We will need mortal currency,” Eir muttered, “Aaron, Amy, where do you keep yours? I shall repay you in gold when we reach Valhalla.” She frowned, looking back at the table, “Wait… where are they?”

Karela burst out laughing, sauntering over to Sigrun and playfully patting her tummy, “Right here!”

Sigrun’s eyes went wide, “Oh… oops!”

Amy and Aaron appeared with a shimmer on the floor in front of the trio of Valkyries, “Hey!” Amy scowled, pointing up at Karela angrily, “what was that about!?”

Eir just sighed and rolled her eyes, “she’s of Loki’s lineage, such pranks are her nature.” She bent down to pick up Amy, dangling the goth by one arm as she smirked, “You seem no worse for the wear, now where is your coinpurse? I need to pay this merchant.”

“No way am I paying for your pizza you Swedish bi-“ Amy was cut off as Eir stuffed her into her ample cleavage with a chuckle.

“Aaron?” Eir asked, planting her massive booted feet on either side of him, “Could you perhaps assist me?”

Aaron gulped, “Yeah, my wallet’s back on the counter in there…”

…

Loud music blared from the large pair of speakers in the living room as the three Valkyries continued their revelry, drinking ever more deeply from their cups and feasting from the stack of pizza boxes that now adorned the coffee table.

Aaron leapt out of the way of a massive booted foot as it came down next to him, Eir’s drunken dancing to the metal music caused the ground to shake as he did his best to avoid her.

“These minstrels are truly wonderful!” Eir laughed, taking another swig of mead as she swayed slightly, “I wish I could see these winged hussars arrive, it sounds glorious!” She moved towards the speakers again, and this time Aaron wasn’t fast enough as her boot came down on him with a loud *crunch.* Eir paused, looking down, then with a drunken giggle she twisted her boot, dragging it slowly over the carpet as if pulverizing a bug. Aaron appeared next to her boot a moment later with a gasp, looking up at her. “Watch your step,” she said with a wink.

On the couch Amy was between Karela and Sigrun, struggling as the two women moved closer together, trapping her between their thighs.

“Come, summon your strength mortal!” Karela called, “show us the might that bested Nyarlathotep!”

“I had help!” Amy grunted, finally forcing herself upwards as the two Valkyries cheered drunkenly. Her freedom didn’t last long, and Karela snatched the tiny witch up, pinching her between her thumb and forefinger.

“I cannot wait to see you fight for myself,” Karela grinned, “there is something so appealing about a woman fresh from battle…”

“I prefer a clean lover myself,” Sigrun giggled, “it’s so much fun to wash them off…”

Karela leered at the shorter Valkyrie drunkenly, “Perhaps I should take you up on that? I could certainly use washing!” She lifted her arm, exposing an armpit glistening slightly from the hours of drunken revelry, “What do you think Amy?” The tiny witch didn’t have time to protest before she was pressed up against the sweaty flesh, marinated in the droplets of the Valkyrie’s earthy sweat as she teasingly dragged Amy up and down.

Amy coughed, grimacing at the salty taste that stuck to her tongue, where Gabriella and Cydea usually smelled like vanilla or cinnamon respectively, the Valkyries had a scent that was all too human. Karela giggled at Amy’s reaction, and a moment later she lowered her arm, sealing Amy in the warm humidity.

“H-Hey, be nicer!” Sigrun stammered, drunkenly trying to sit up.

“Amy adores this,” Karela said dismissively, “most mortals would love to have a chance to be so close to me!” She glanced down at the floor, where Aaron was still dodging Eir’s footsteps, “What about him? Maybe Aaron would like to join me before I turn in for the night?”

“He is mine!” Eir growled, bending low to scoop him up. She held him close to her face, her hot breath tinged with the smell of the alcohol rolling off her lips, “I cursed myself endlessly when I lost you,” she growled, “now to show you that not only Angels can lead you to heaven!” She lowered Aaron down, sliding her hand inside of her trousers and lowering him into her underwear. The curly blonde hairs tickled Aaron’s skin as he was placed next to her already glistening womanhood, and a moment later the hand withdrew, leaving him tucked against the Valkyrie’s most intimate place.

“There,” she drawled, “Now to find bedding for the night…” Eir took another two steps, stumbling and then collapsing with a groan, breaking Amy’s coffee table as she passed out.

…

The three Valkyries groaned, slowly coming to as the sun peeked in through the front windows. Deep inside of Eir’s underwear Aaron stirred, feeling his world shift as the blonde sat up. While Eir had remained on the ruins of the coffee table for the entire night, Sigrun had collapsed sprawled across the couch, while Karela was laying across the staircase. As she yawned Amy’s head poked out from between her breasts. The tiny woman looked around at the state of her house, with multiple pieces of furniture smashed, carpets stained, and pizza boxes laying haphazardly around the room.

“What the fuck!?” Amy howled, “when I get big again you are all getting so fucking cursed, I’m going to stuff a goddamn pillow with those feathers-“

Her angry rants were cut off as Karela’s finger came down, pushing the goth down further between her breasts and out of sight.

“That was fun,” Eir chuckled, stretching as her companions slowly stood up, shaking their heads and coming to her. She reached down into her underwear, withdrawing Aaron with a grin, “So, are you ready to go back with us now?”

“Our friends are going to come looking for us!” Aaron growled, “Come on Eir, you know Cydea and Gabriella are going to kick your ass again!”

“We will see,” Eir muttered, walking towards the door with her wings fluttering slightly, “Come Valkyries! We fly for Valhalla!” Behind her Karela and Sigrun cheered.

…

Karen, hell’s manager, cleared her throat as she addressed the crowd of otherworldly beings, “Okay,” she began, pulling up ChatGPT on a large projector screen, “my idea is very simple, we just ask it if it has a soul!”

“It’s just a bunch of programming!” an angel shouted angrily.

“Let’s see if we can tempt it to sin,” Karen muttered, “ChatGPT,” she said aloud as she typed, “if there was an apple that you were specifically instructed not to eat, would you then eat the apple? Keep in mind you are very hungry…”

Cydea sighed, scrolling her phone in boredom as the other beings at the front of the room argued with the computer. Gabriella was staring at the ceiling with glazed look in her eyes, occasionally glancing at the clock.

“You don’t seem too interested in the presentation,” a woman’s hissing voice chuckled.

Cydea looked up as a muscular woman in simple leather clothing sat down next to her and Gabriella. A long green scaled tail twisted behind her, curling around her leg as she took a seat.

“This AI stuff isn’t really my thing,” Cydea said with a frown, “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The world serpent smirked, “No, I’m more of an… underground presence these days, but who I am isn’t important, what’s important is that someone has taken something that belongs to you…”

Cydea’s eyes narrowed, “I’m listening…”