5th of Sunsfall, 3418, Somewhere in North Yaavy, Markus' Journal

I don't know how much of the previous entry will have survived my edits made later, but suffice to say: I was deemed too drunk to be of any use as an alchemist and confined to the comfortable darkness of Mere's bosom until I'd recovered, and when I tried to escape early I suppose I must have still been slightly drunk and insulted both her hospitality and womanly beauty. So naturally she saw fit to keep me out of the way even longer than had been originally planned. By the time I was allowed out, it was well past lunch time and I was called on to settle a very important matter while the food was being prepared.

It seemed that the bandit outpost they quashed while I was indisposed had played host to a small number of rare and apparently delectable prey animals that are usually reviled as vermin by most upstanding humans. Though evidently not by humans who've turned to banditry. But if split evenly between the 4 of them, 1 of the animals would be unclaimed. They all agreed that someone was going to eat it today, but not whom, so naturally it fell to me to break the tie as I often do. Normally I try to emulate my companion's sense of fairness and impartiality in my rulings, but matters were complicated when they each decided to bribe me.

I set my pen down and had the book banish itself once again as I recollected the bombardment of events that had occurred not even half a minute after being fished from Mere's bosom.

"I- you- what?"

Mere was able to get her argument in first, and she loomed over me even more than an elf did by nature of being the one who currently held me."The last bandit, Markus. You think I should eat him, right? I mean, I did let you sleep in my tits and all, it's the least you could-"

I was spared from the almost starved look in Mere's eyes when Elya snatched me away to make her own argument with her own hungrily crazed expression. "No not her! You know that I should be the one who eats him because I'm the one who realized that you like being our little candy, right Markus? Surely that kind of perception deserves a reward?" I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.

The 2 of them continued to bicker over which of them had provided me the most sexual pleasure and who deserved to excruciatingly melt the spare bandit apart in their innards more, and all I could do was look between them with a growing sense of trepidation. Even the gentle and quiet Teale had that same gleam In her eyes, though she was visibly struggling to get a word out and make her own case to me. Exactly what had happened to make the team so hungry for human flesh? Had they always been this way or were they being corrupted by some mystical force that I, a non-magic folk was blind and deaf to?

Aure chose that moment to make her own case "What's in the past is in the past. I say that you should vote for me, because I've taken the liberty of preparing all your favorite foods for a wonderful lunch while we enjoy our own."

The other 3 whipped their heads around to stare at her and the frankly delicious looking platter of food that she held between her thumb and forefinger "What?! Since when?"

"Since a few minutes ago while you lot were arguing minutiae."

"That's not fair." Teale whined.

"You were going to bribe him with your womanhood, how is food any different?"

"None of us can cook human food as good as you!"

Wait back up, did Aure just say Teale was planning on bribing me with her- I looked over at her, she caught my puzzled expression and blushed a deep reddish brown that stood out on her pastel green skin. ... Huh, she was actually going to- They must really want- they must really be hungry for- Oh fuck. I needed to nip this in the bud before it occurred to any of them that I was also just as made of food as any of the bandits. Or at least give myself an excuse to slip away for a few hours and hope that this- whatever it was was out of their systems by then.

I cleared my throat and instantly had all of their attention, it was a little scary considering what they were arguing over but I steeled myself and continued "Instead of that, could I maybe just quickly check on my-"

"Vetoed." they said altogether.

"Wha-?"

"We've got more than enough potions, Markus. We'll be good for another month at least."

But if I stop working for over a month, how else am I-? How am I to keep safely within the bounds of my contract? "But- if you let me just check on it then I'll-" Before I could stutter out my objection, the elves all shared a look before Teale gently grabbed me and deposited me up in the surviving watchtower with the food.

"On second thought he seems to not have his head on straight right now."

"Aye, same as us, he missed breakfast. We should let him eat before asking him pull himself together." Oh, they skipped a meal to get here. Yes, that made more sense than some sort of maddening sorcery that affected elves more than humans, in every other case it was the other way around. I should definitely eat up if I had thought that was a possibility.

"Number guessing?" Mere suggested.

"A bit boring, but it'll do I suppose."

“We could spice it up and say that the second placer gets Markus next.” Wait, what?

"Ooh! Good idea! Once he gets his strength up he'll make a fine consolation prize for winning the first round. All in favor?" It was unanimous.