The wedding was in a week.

I was not feeling okay. As the morning rays shifted into the bedroom window and warmed the room up, my skin started to blaze. I crawled out from under the sheet drenched in sweat, and crying out to pee.

Jen rushed me into the bathroom and held me over the toilet. She wanted to shower with me but I couldn’t stand the heat, so she sunk me into a cooler bath in a cup. The cup stood on the bathroom sink counter while she showered in the cubicle. The cubicle door was not slid closed so everything was on show, and she chatted to me happily while showering.

But I couldn’t relieve myself. I needed to pee again.

In desperation I climbed out of the cup and slid down into the sink, getting into position to pee into the drain. But the lustrous sight of Jen showering had turned my member into an unyielding brick of desire.

Meanwhile, Jen must have looked over and found the cup empty.

“JERRY!”

In a flash she was standing over the sink, naked and wet.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

This was a rhetorical question; without waiting for an answer she snatched me up, and since her hand was wet, making an effort to squeeze me extra hard for grip. Her middle finger rammed into my bladder and the pee was urgently strained out of my body by brute force.

She let out a gasp and zoomed me over the sink. Then she took me into the shower with her to finish.

Later, I began to feel too warm again, so I peeled my clothes off until I was naked. The warmth finally settled and I wore a scrap of sheet like a toga, at least until it started up again and the sweat caused it to stick to me. I discarded it.

Seeing me naked, Jen swept over, concerned, and stroked my brow to check my temperature. Apparently it was elevated.

"I'M GOING TO CALL THE VET," she announced.

"Wait! -- I'm sure--"

The call connected and Jen launched into explaining my condition. Apparently the vet was undaunted. She explained that my body was probably having a kind of reaction to the implant, but it wouldn’t be a problem, just some anti-histamine and it should disappear in a couple of days.

Jen got off the phone seeming relieved. In fact, her relief got the better of her. After giving me the anti-histamine, she gently took my head into her mouth and sucked on it for several moments. She said she had a better read of my temperature because her tongue was much more sensitive. I think that was bullshit but I didn’t say anything. I was just relieved I didn't have to revisit the vet. But the clammy sauna of her oral cavity started to swelter and make me dizzy.

Concerned, she got an icy hand towel, and while I held it to my skin, she went into another room and I heard her cutting with scissors. She returned with some little strips of white towel, and each of these had absorbent padding glued to it.

She liked to come up with creative solutions to my size-related problems, and normally I appreciated it. But this was too creative. They were little DIY diapers. Even worse, the absorbent padding was from panty liners.

I stared at her.

“SUCK IT UP.” she said. “NO MORE PEEING ON MY HAND. I JUST GOT THESE NAILS DONE.”

I couldn't argue; her phone rang. She dug it out of her hip pocket while I lay back. At least the tabletop was cool and relived my feverish skin.

“HELLO. JEN TOMLIN SPEAKING.”

— “I WAS THINKING IT, I RECOGNIZE THAT VOICE.”

—“WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I THINK WE ALL WOULD…”

— “THAT’S WONDERFUL.”

— “WHEN CAN HE GET AWAY? HE’S NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I’M THE LAST WORD ON THAT. HE’S NOT IN ST PALMA, I MEAN NOT RIGHT NOW, BUT WE ARE MOVING THERE, BOTH OF US AND—”

She cradled the phone against her shoulder and used both hands to adjust the fabric around my hips. One of her fingertips pushed my stomach to pin me in place while her other hand dexterously tugged the corners of cloth together and taped them.

— “ACTUALLY, ANYTIME.”

— “I DON’T SEE ANY REASON WHY WE CAN’T—”

— “GREAT. AND YOU TELL HIM I SAID HI!”

All of a sudden the house needed to be cleaned. I was on the floor of the living room when she burst in with the roaring vacuum cleaner like some leviathan monster, and I found myself being herded around with this monstrosity blaring on my tail like a tornado.

It was a smaller nozzle so I couldn’t be accidentally sucked up, but if the rollerhead was removed the nozzle could gulp at me and keep me affixed to it by sheer suction. In fact, this is what she proceeded to do, and twirled me around in the air on the end of the handle while she sung and laughed and pretended to dance with the shaft like a ballroom partner. I gritted my teeth and tried not to void my bladder again.

Then she put me down again to chase and bump me with the rollerhead. It was so bulky it knocked me about and slid me over the floor with ease. Other times our path intersected, her toes thoughtlessly spanned out and brushed me to the side. Then she came back the other way and plucked my head up between her big and second toe, and depositing me safely out of her path. Her toes were silky soft but cold from the tiles and felt great against my burning skin. I began to run in front of the rollerhead to successfully bait her into plucking me up and getting another hit of relieving coolness.

That afternoon, Scott and Tasha flew over to Bayside and came to our house to visit. Scott was my pre-Flip best friend, and Tasha was his wife. Jen didn’t tell me, ever loving to spring a surprise. My surprise was some kind of weird aphrodisiac for her. Only as their car was rolling up our driveway she capitulated and sprung it on me.

Watching through the window that viewed our front yard, I stood dumbstruck as my old friend, who I hadn’t seen in forever ago, emerged from his car and accompanied Tasha to the front door.

“I can’t do this.”

Seeing Scott again caused unpleasant memories to resurface. Being tiny and screaming up at him and everyone. After the day I had shrunk we had naturally just drifted – fast. We both dropped out into new chapters in our lives. It seemed a lifetime ago we had anything in common. There was something else: what he had, I had wanted. In fact, that had been the case for as long as I’d known him. He had been a cool drifter, and I envied that. Then he had begun to settle into become a stable family man with his girlfriend Tasha, and I had envied that, too. Now, I couldn’t help but think of him as the guy who had simply survived the Flip party intact – providing yet another source of envy.

I had known Scott first, and met Tasha through him, and introduced Jennifer to them once we started dating. But Scott had been my friend first, not Jen’s. So the lack of contact for the past two years was entirely on me.

“I’M HERE.” She reached down and tickled the back of my neck. “JUST SAY HI. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.”

Giving my head a soft, reassuring squeeze, she then went to get the door, I scrunched my toes and thought: I should be wearing shoes. My feet were bare. It was stupid but seemed important. Jen was wearing a light, attractive pair of sandals.

Down the hall, at the front door lobby, there was a small outpouring of salutations. Hearing Scott and Tasha’s voices was like a strange time machine of its own; a clash between my current life and my previous one. There was a twisting, plunging feeling in my chest.

“HEY, YOU LOOK GOOD JEN,” said Scott.

“Hi Scott,” I said.

He cast a look at my diaper.

“JERRY! YOU LOOK, UH, FIT.”

They’d never visited Jen’s house before. She showed them around a moment before they took seats on the sofa. I was put on the head rest of the adjacent sofa, where I sat.

After a little while of talking, Tasha and Jen went out to get some food and drink, while I stayed with Scott.

“BACK SOON,” she said as she swept past. But she didn’t let me reply. When I met her eye, she sent me a strange look.

Scott settled back in the sofa, pulling his leg up and crossing it.

“THE STORIES I’VE BEEN HEARING,” he announced with a big grin, “I’M SPEECHLESS. SHOWBIZ, WHAT A WORLD.”

“Being shrunk taught me a lot about myself,” I shrugged. “And, turns out I’m not an office ‘guy’.”

“BUT YOU’RE TAKING CHARGE NOW, SINCE…YOU KNOW…’IT’ HAPPENED –GOOD FOR YOU.”

“Yeah. All that. How is your business?”

“NOTHING LIKE BEING YOUR OWN BOSS.” He stretched out on the couch. “THE LADIES ARE GONE; WE CAN TALK. ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A LITTLE WORK?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I might be in entertainment a little longer.”

A shrug.

“YOU KNOW, ENTERTAINMENT IS A QUICK TALENT TREADMILL.”

“Yeah, you could say there are some…potholes.”

“HEY, CHECK US OUT BEFORE THE WEDDING, I’LL TAKE YOU AROUND THE ‘SHOP FLOOR’. YOU COULD CATCH THE FLIGHT TOMORROW; WE CAN SNEAK YOU ONBOARD. IT’S SO EASY, WE CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT A REGULAR THING.”

“And Jen stay back here? I don’t know, I have to ask her.”

“AS SOMEONE WHO REALLY KNOWS YOU THE LONGEST, I COULD HELP YOU ACCESS YOUR FULL POTENTIAL AS AN INDEPENDENT, GOAL-KICKING AGENT. AND NOT A SIDESHOW—”

He stopped.

The sound of the front door opening. We had been sitting there chatting longer than we realized. The women strolled back into the living room.

“SNACK TIME, BUB.”

Jen stuck her fingertip in my face. It was coated in cookie crumbs and cream. Quickly getting the message, I licked it off. I examined under her nail and then decided I didn’t care. I licked. She giggled.

“OH, STOP! –TICKLISH!”

But she didn’t sound angry, and she didn’t pull away.

Forgetting myself, I licked her fingertip again. She giggled louder, shrieking a little. Her finger twitched, accidentally giving my nose a sharp flick with the nail.

I cringed and looked across. Scott stared back. A weird look.

I pulled away. Suddenly remembered I was only wearing a diaper. Died a little inside.

Jen slipped onto the couch and pulled me down onto the firm floor of her toned thigh.

Scott and Tasha seemed uncomfortable now. Jen started slicing her food into tiny pieces, and started feeding me.

Scott mentioned his idea.

She listened. Then said blithely:

“OH, WE’VE DONE THIS, SCOTT. IT’S NOT PRETTY.”

I groaned in pain. I’d eaten too much and was still healing.  

“ARE YOU OKAY, JERRY?” Tasha murmured.

Jen was smacking the cookie cream off her thumb.

“HE’S COMING OUT OF A LITTLE SURGERY.”

“OH, WE DIDN’T REALIZE,” said Tasha.

“HE’S FINE. IT’S FINE.”

Pressing me under her palm, she began to roll me up and down the length of her thigh, from her hip to her knee. All my muscles were being worked into by her affectionate kneading fingertips. It was like a full body massage, her palm soft and scented, but so strong and compelling I couldn’t fight it off. So I just rolled around for a little while, letting my body get teased out and loosened. Every few minutes she’d glance down at me mid-conversation and toss me a little smile, or an ‘air kiss’.

I stiffened. The rolling stopped.

She took my face between her forefinger and thumb and held it.

“JERRY, WHAT? TELL ME.”

“Nothing.” I didn’t want to look weak in front of Scott and Tasha. And the less said about the surgery I’d had, the better.

“DARLING, YOU’RE IN PAIN.”

“Just a temporary situation.”

“BUT—”

“Don’t worry.”

She gave me a remonstrating look.

“DON’T BE THIS WAY. CAN I DO SOMETHING?”

“It’ll take care of itself.”

As she went to rub my shoulder, her nail accidentally dove into the softest part of my belly. I let out a squawk.

“COME HERE, BABY,” she purred, spreading her hands out to me. “COME TO MOMMY.” She swiftly took me, in my diaper, up to her face pressed her nose into my cheek. “MOMMY’S GOT YOU.” Her lips swamped me in a moist kiss. I was breathing faster and felt warm. Her breath billowed over me, and my muscles relaxed.

Before I knew it, she peeled my t-shirt up and gave my stomach a lick, leaving a moist patch above my navel. My blush deepened as her cool green eyes apprehended me patiently, as if waiting for me to declare that I loved her, too.

I kicked my legs and groaned. My crotch was welling up again.

Her face dipped over me again, giving me another slimy stroke with her tongue. It started at my stomach and ran straight down. But veered onto my hip at the last moment.

She sucked on her lips thoughtfully. She was going in for another…

Suddenly soured by the display, Scott got to his feet.

“WELL, JENNIFER,” he exclaimed with mock grandiosity. “GOOD OLD JENNIFER. YOU NEVER CHANGE, DO YOU?”

I was just below her lips and her voice thrummed through my body. Only because I literally hovered beneath her nose did I see her nostrils flare.

“EXCUSE ME?”

“I’M NOT GOING TO JUST SIT HERE AND PRETEND I DON’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO MY BEST FRIEND.”

“WELL. SCOTT. HE’S MY BEST FRIEND, TOO.”

I was lowered to her chest level and cradled protectively in her hand. Her nailtip began anxiously busying itself brushing through my hair, prickling my scalp.

“YOU PAW AND PINCH AT HIM LIKE HE’S A CRUMB OF FOOD. THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND THERE! JERRY – DOES SHE HOLD YOU TO THIS?”

I was almost too embarrassed to speak.

“It’s just little PDAs, man,” I said lamely.

“BALONEY,” he fired back. “SHE’S WINDING YOU UP LIKE A TOY.”

“JEN, I MEAN, THINK WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE FROM SCOTT’S PERSPECTIVE,” Tasha said, touching her palms together. “SCOTT AND JERRY GO BACK A LONG TIME. WHEN SCOTT FIRST MOVED HERE—”

Jen’s eyes closed.

“GET TO IT, TASHA.”

“—OF COURSE SCOTT JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY FOR JERRY. WE WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR BOTH OF YOU.”

“WELL, I’M SORRY IF THE IMPENDING CELEBRATION OF OUR MARRIAGE DAY ISN’T A SUFFICIENT EXCUSE FOR YOU TO FEEL HAPPY FOR US.”

Scott interrupted:

“I WILL CELEBRATE THE DAY YOU TAKE YOUR FOOT OFF MY FRIEND’S MANHOOD.”

“THIS IS THE REASON YOU CAME OUT HERE,” she sneered back.  

“OF COURSE NOT,” said Tasha.

“HOWEVER YOU WANT TO SLICE AND DICE IT,” said Scott, “WE’RE BACK ON THE PLANE BY TONIGHT. AND THEN YOU MAKE THE CALLS. JENNIFER TOMLIN ALWAYS MAKES THE CALLS.”

“YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SHOW UP HERE A WEEK BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND TRY TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT? – IN MY FACE?”

"WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME MY BUDDY WAS IN CHARGE? PUT HIS FOOT DOWN? FELT LIKE A MAN? YOU KEEP HIS BALLS IN YOUR CLUTCH BETWEEN THE TAMPAX AND L’OREAL LASH PARADISE."

“YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT WE—”

“SCOTT, A LITTLE MELODRAMATIC,” Tasha murmured.

“I HAVE NO CLUE? YOU CALL THIS SUBTLE? YOU’RE FOOLING JERRY. BUT YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ME.”

“SO FLY HIM AWAY. I’LL DRAG HIM BACK. I AM MARRYING HIM. YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I’M GOING TO MARRY HIM, SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE.”

“A LITTLE MELODRAMATIC,” Tasha repeated.

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH JERRY, AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WHAT WE HAVE.”

“I UNDERSTAND. I’VE DATED GIRLS LIKE YOU IN COLLEGE. OH, THE STORIES. NEVER AGAIN.”

“OH, NOT EVEN ONE TIME, I WOULD NEVER DATE YOU IN A MILLION YEARS.”

“JENNIFER,” said Tasha, rummaging through her handbag. “I THINK WE’LL LEAVE.”

“SO, SCOTT, WHO TOOK JERRY IN? WHO GIVES HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS? YEAH, I GUESS I’M NOT SO BAD.”

“YOUR RELATIONSHIP ACTION PLAN HAS NEVER MADE SENSE TO ME – OKAY – OR JERRY! ALL I KNOW IS, WHEN THAT THING HAPPENED—”

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW? NOTHING. YOU HAVE NO CLUE. NONE.”

“—HIS MALE EGO WAS IN A STATE OF CRISIS, AND YOU POUNCED. YOU POUNCED ON HIM AT HIS LOWEST – LITERALLY LOWEST – POINT AND YOU PULLED HIM BACK DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOU. WHEN HE HAD JUST CLIMBED OUT AND HAD TURNED TO ME FOR LIFE COACHING.”

“SCREW YOU, SCOTT. ASSHOLE.”

“WE WERE JUST SAYING, THIS IS SLIGHTLY PREMATURE, JENNIFER,” Tasha admitted. “IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO SLOW DOWN.”

“UM, I’M SORRY, IS THERE SOME KIND OF MISTAKE HERE? JERRY ASKED ME,” Jen said. “AND I SAID YES.”

Scott said:

“YOU STUFFED HIM INSIDE A RING AND WORE IT ON GIRLS NIGHTS OUT.”

“AND YOU KNOW? IT WAS A LIFESAVER.”

“LIFESAVER? LIFESAVER? NO, BUT I TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE, JENNIFER. A LIFESUCKER. AND I’M SUPPOSED TO SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU SUCK MY FRIEND’S SOUL OUT THROUGH HIS NECK.”

Jen got to her feet.

“NOW I’M MAD. JUST DON’T.”

Tasha rose to her feet.

“WE SHOULD GO.” She looked to Scott.

“DOOR IS DOWN THE HALL.”

They left.

Jen’s ponytail flicked around as she turned. She huffed and growled for a moment, and strode out of the room. Then she returned with her handbag over her shoulder.

“WELL…WE GOT OURSELVES A FREE AFTERNOON. I’M GETTING MY HAIR DONE.”