Funnel of Love
A commissioned work for OHGRA
A sea of heads. Beth, hanging her own head over the balcony, could only witness a frothing sea of heads, her anxiety twisting the visages into faceless forms. A thundering thrust erupted from within her. “H’rk!”
Comforted by a soft, reassuring hand caressing her back, she turned to see her girlfriend Kate. The din of the blasting music coupled with the incessant chattering of near-infinite strangers appeared to fade away as she focused on Kate’s olive skin, piercingly sharp eyebrows, and dark hair that was so beautifully shiny it glinted even in the dark lighting of the party that blasted all around. After licking her braces, still feeling the uncomfortable tightness from her last orthodontic visit two days ago, she exhaled and experienced an almost miraculous breath of calmness overwhelm her.
“You okay, babe?” Kate’s soft voice shattered through the noise and motion that vibrated Beth’s mind from every direction. “You haven’t had anything to drink and you’re already, like, heaving. Do you want to go?”
The familiar blast of anxiety re-erupted within her chest, causing the tiny blonde hairs on the back of her neck to stand up firm. “No!” She exclaimed, immediately regretting the harsh response. “I mean… no.” After ending her sentence with a sigh, Beth covered her face, feeling her fingers cover her aquiline nose before she sucked in her somewhat round belly. Tucking her tight, white tee shirt into her high-waisted pants, she peeked back down to the massive, formless crowd of college students and saw, with dread, that low-rise jeans were coming back in style. Sighing again, she tightened her belt by one notch as she responded “I gotta get used to it. I saw some TikTok about ‘Flooding’ which means that, um, uh, you, like, need to be overwhelmed by, uh, the thing, that, uh.”
Beth’s words were muffled by the soft press of Kate’s lips. Beth closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of her girlfriend’s body mingle with her own. “I know. I’m a little anxious too.” Kate took Beth’s hand and intertwined their fingers together. “Let’s just pretend, instead, that it’s just you and me here. Together. Okay?”
Thinking it was almost eerie how their hearts were both beating at the same rapid pace, Beth stared directly into Kate’s eyes. “How do you do it? How do you stay, like, so chill?”
Kate sighed, Beth smelling the sweet scent of Smirnoff Ice on her breath. “Well, I’m a little buzzed, so that helps.” Beth blushed slightly as Kate twisted a lock of her blonde hair. “But really, I just pretend that I’m not anxious and, like, it helps a lot.”
The blonde looked at the tight-fitting high-rise jeans and black tee shirt that Kate wore. They didn’t coordinate outfits, but at this stage in the relationship Beth found the accidental matching clothes to be cute, rather than embarrassing. Turning from her love’s comforting gaze, Beth took in another deep breath and thought of herself as someone who didn’t want to throw up when she was in large crowds. The fiery feeling within her chest subsided slightly. After blinking several times, Beth couldn’t resist the smile crawling across her face. Turning towards Kate, Beth hugged her, feeling her busty chest press into her girlfriend’s slender frame. She planted a long, passionate kiss right on Kate’s cheek. “It’s actually working a little bit.”
Kate, blushing, raised her eyebrows in an expression of surprise. “Yeah! You know, fake it til’ you make it.” She looked at her shoes, now shocked that she earnestly uttered such a cliche. “Or whatever.”
Beth felt an ethereal lightness come over her, even as the song switched and nearly the entire party cheered in unison. Obviously excited to hear whatever popular song she didn’t recognize, Beth felt a novel connection to the rest of the partygoers. Kate seemed to be completely correct. If she just pretended to have a good time, that was the first step to actually having a good time.
“Come on! Let’s go downstairs!” Taking her girlfriend’s thin hand, Beth could feel the clammy moisture cling to her skin. Feeling her pewter ring against Kate’s hand always felt so natural, given that was probably her dearest possession, given to her as a gift after their second date.
“Yeah! Let’s!” Kate grinned strongly, obviously delighted at Beth’s sudden, new-found confidence.
Now navigating through a thicket of awkwardly moving bodies, Beth could smell the strange cocktail of alcohol, sweat, and hundreds of different perfumes and colognes. The anxiety within her chest appeared to morph into earnest excitement. She didn’t even know how to respond. Giggling, her round hips accidentally thudded into a table covered in a thick cluster of beer bottles, causing the glass to clink together. A devious thrill pulsed through her core as she quickly and subtly snatched a half-full bottle of Fireball whiskey. A drink even she knew was notoriously weak-tasting in comparison to its alcohol content. Feeling the pewter ring clunk against the glass bottle, Beth gripped it with a weirdly extreme force.
With Kate still in tow, Beth felt almost a cosmic shift within her as she grabbed two red cups from the table and scurried away to a somewhat secluded corner. Almost pinning Kate up against the wall, Beth could feel the crowd of people behind her and, strangely, she didn’t care.
Kate’s eyebrows twisted into an almost worried expression, signalling that she didn’t know how to react to this abrupt shift in attitude. “You seem excited!” A wavy quivering tinged her voice, even as she raised it over the sound of the music.
Pouring the stolen whiskey into the two red cups, Beth continued grinning. “I am and I’m also, like, not.”
Beth immediately downed almost half of the cup in one swig, totaling several shots. The cinnamon “burn” traced all the way down her throat, forming into a warm globe behind her chest. The drunken warp happened nearly immediately. The floor seemed to buck and shift as though she were on a small boat.
Kate looked downwards, feeling the heft of the yellowish fluid as Beth intentionally poured too much into the cup. She pursed her lips before she delicately sipped on the spicy drink. “You’re not excited? But I thought you wanted to go to WVU? Like, I mean, you managed to get into this party before the semester even started.”
Beth, already pouring another cupful of Fireball, developed the familiar blushing of drunkenness. “Yeah, but, uh, I’ll miss you.” She looked up into Kate’s eyes and kissed her on the lips, tasting the cinnamon on her as she slyly slid out a bit of tongue. As she put her hand holding the cup over her girlfriend’s shoulder, Beth held the Fireball by the neck in the other. Cocking her hips, she knew her chest was blushing with her thrill and intoxication, but she continued looking into Kate’s eyes, almost pinning her against the wall. She had never felt so cool in her life, even in spite of the fact that it was just her and her own girlfriend. “Like, I feel bad that you’re stuck in that shitty community college and I… I…” She could feel words begin to get caught in her throat from a strange sadness, a longing for someone standing right in front of her. “I don’t wanna lose you is all.”
Kate slumped her shoulders as she gently took Beth’s arm off of her. “You’ll always be able to Facetime and text and call. You’ll only be a few towns over. Shit, look around. This is a WVU party.” As she was talking, a woman with blonde, wavy hair, a trucker hat, and a garish old gold-and-blue crop top screamed “Wooo!” right into Beth’s ear before stumbling back into the crowd.
“Obviously.” Beth smirked. “But what do you, like, mean?”
Kate sighed. “These are the people you’re gonna be hanging out with a lot. You’re gonna see them on campus and in class. And, you know.”
Beth took a few more swigs of Fireball. “Know what?”
“I mean… you should go hang out with them. Like, for practice. Or something. Pretend you’re popular. Make a good first impression. I’ll be okay here. On my own. Promise.” Kate twisted her lips into a tortured smile before loudly sipping the whiskey, never breaking eye contact with Beth.
The blonde woman tongued at her braces, sighing. “I guess this is part of that flooding thing. Like an arach-arachno”
Kate couldn’t help but smile at her increasingly drunken girlfriend. “Arachnophobe.”
“Yeah, an arachnophobe. Flooding is like making an arachnophobe hang out with spiders until they’re, like, not afraid anymore.” Beth smiled, involuntarily cocking her head.
Letting out yet another sigh, Kate blushed. “Sure. If that helps you. I just want you to have a good time.”
“Will you be okay without me?” Beth almost whined, her head now feeling like it was swimming, her chest feeling alight with a novel type of thrill.
Kate licked her lips. “I guess it’s kind of, this, uh ‘Flooding’ for me, too. We both need to get ready. Why not hang out with that girl in the trucker hat? She seemed to have no problem coming up to you. Why not see what happens if you go up to her? Just, you know, just to see how it goes.”
“You think that’ll work?” Beth raised one eyebrow, already beginning to see Kate’s pretty face blur in and out.
Kate giggled. “Yeah. She’s drunk as fuck and, uh, looks like you’ll be in the same spot in a few minutes. Go on without me. I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“Well… okay!” A conflict brewed within Beth’s chest. On one side, she was delighted to be independent from Kate. On the other, she couldn’t help but feel guilty for abandoning her girlfriend in a party full of complete strangers. Holding Kate’s hand, she took a few steps back and let her fingers detach slowly as she walked away, letting her become obscured by the relentless crowd.
Now on her own, Beth figured that her best bet was to seek out that drunken woman wearing that trucker hat. She always found it odd that students would be so openly intoxicated wearing clothes that represented their school, but at this moment she was too drunk to care. After stumbling past a few drunk guys, one of which said something incomprehensible to her, Beth perked up. It was that same exact woman.
Now feeling a rush both in her chest and, guiltily, between her legs, she couldn’t help but leer at the other blonde. Beth’s heart started racing in the best way as she gazed at her from behind. The wavy ringlets pouring out from under her hat, her smooth tan skin on her lower back, her tight, low-cut jean shorts filling out widely as her ass filled them up nearly to bursting. Knowing she’d be freaking out in any other situation, she decided to pretend she was “One of them.” Seeing the woman talking to a small crowd of similar blondes, Beth felt one foot walk in front of the other, each step peeling off of the sticky kitchen floor.
In an act that would be considered completely out-of-character at literally any other time in her life, Beth felt as though there were some strange spirit that compelled her to walk over. Almost entranced by this stranger’s round ass, Beth bit her lip and reached forward.
The sensation was divine. A flurry of thoughts entered Beth’s mind as she felt her hand cup the stranger’s jean shorts, letting her fingers wrap around the stranger’s behind, almost form-fitting her left ass-cheek. Is this cheating? Is this assault? Am I really doing this? Her heart fluttered as she looked up to meet the woman’s gaze.
It was a completely different person.
Beth’s heart sank, but was buoyed by the alcohol in her blood. Staring awkwardly up at the tall, blonde stranger, she couldn’t think to say anything but “Hi.”
“Hi?” The taller blonde responded with an earnest inquisitiveness to her voice. “Who are you and why is your hand on my ass?”
Her natural awkwardness tried to flush back into her chest, but the alcohol-inspired confidence pressed it back down. “I’m Beth and you’re hot.”
“Bracey is pretty forward!” Exclaimed another girl, a shorter woman with cute, puffy cheeks and brown shoulder-length hair.
The blonde with the wavey hair continued looking down at Beth. “Well, sweetie.” She said as she turned towards her while plucking her wrist off of her behind. “I might be hot, but, like, I’m straight.”
Beth could feel the embarrassment, again, attempt to erupt from within, but she naturally suppressed it. “Not if I bend you over.” Beth could feel herself grow physically heated from her own comment, as though there were a new fire within her.
The group of women giggled awkwardly. Beth continued looking upwards into the blonde’s hazel eyes. Was this really what Kate meant when she said to go on her own? “What’s your name?”
Raising her eyebrows, the blonde pursed her lips tightly while smiling. “My name’s Brynn.” She continued grinning, seemingly both out of amusement and discomfort. “And this is Blaire and Jerrica and Kaylynne.”
Beth could only giggle as she looked at the other women. Three almost identical-looking blondes and the brunette, Blaire. Letting out a few silly-sounding giggles, Beth looked at the four of them, who all seemed to be staring at her. “Hi.” She couldn’t help but smile widely. “You’re all so… hot.”
“Oh boy, someone’s good.” The tallest blonde, Jerrica, stated as she swept her straight, platinum blonde hair behind her shoulder. They were all wearing such skimpy outfits, revealing a lot of skin. Beth couldn’t help but stare at them now that she had somewhat ingratiated herself into the group.
Blaire smirked “Yeah she is!” The puffy-faced woman put her arm around Beth’s shoulder. Smelling the brunette’s strong perfume, Beth couldn’t help but feel aroused as the woman’s body heat seemed to sink right into her. The warmth of all the people coupled with the natural humidity hanging in the air caused Beth to enter into some kind of trance-like stupor.
“Let’s go upstairs with Beth, here. Let’s introduce her to our, uh, club. Okay?” Beth saw Blaire blatantly wink at Brynn, but she didn’t care. The happiness inherent in the inclusion of some “in-group” with a “club” was enough for her to approach the situation with more curiosity than caution.
Walking up the stairs with her newfound group of friends, she saw Kate, still standing alone in the corner, looking at her phone, nursing her still-full cup of whiskey. “Kate! Kate! Up here!” Beth shouted, but to no acknowledgement over the cacophony of the party.
A piercing sensation of longing quickly thundered through Beth’s innards before being drowned out by the warm feeling of drunkenness and thrill of this new experience.
Passing through groups of chattering people past the second-floor balcony, Brynn opened the door to her room, revealing a strangely pink zone of silence. As the five women walked over the carpeting, Brynn closed the door behind her, sealing the loud noises of the party behind them with an uncanny effectiveness. Almost as if the door was an airlock. The sudden silence pierced a ringing tinnitus into Beth’s eardrums.
The air smelled sterile, but with a hint of roses. Looking down at her empty cup, her heart jumped at the realization that she must have left the Fireball with Kate. Annoyed at herself, she looked at the tall, white, wooden door that separated the bright pink room from the rest of the party and felt a sudden rush of the familiar social anxiety that she mired herself in on a daily basis.
Jerrica and Kaylynne both sat down on the twin-sized bed hugged up along the side of the room. Above her were strung a series of blue ribbons associated with various horse riding competitions.
“So, uh, what are we doing he-” Beth was quickly cut off by Brynn.
“We’re gonna, um, initiate you into our little, uh, club here. I mean, my parents own this place. Don’t you want to have the hookup to a party house. How long have you been a Mountaineer, anyway? I haven’t seen you around.” Brynn’s squeaky voice had a somewhat dark overtone as she rolled over a new-looking Herman Miller office chair away from her desk.
“I, um, this is going to be my first semester, actually.” Beth let out a smirk, embarrassed to admit it.
Brynn smiled widely “Oh! A transfer! That’s cool, actually. Here, take a seat. So you’re really gonna like this little introductory game we play with the luckiest new girls.”
Beth’s ass plopped into the chair as Brynn thrust it into the back of her knees. Almost instinctively falling, she looked at the other girls smiling at her and, in her stupor, decided to play along.
Darkness overwhelmed her field of vision as Brynn reached from behind her and wrapped an opaque cotton handkerchief around her eyes. “Hey! What’re you doing?” Almost instinctively trying to rip it off, Brynn responded.
“Ah! Wait! It’s part of the initiation! You trust us, right? It’s all part of the, uh, the ritual.” Beth heard a clink before some liquid pouring. “Here, look. Take this.”
Without even giving it a second thought, Beth immediately downed the shot glass in her hand. The woody taste and fiery sensation that fluttered through her body caused her to almost instinctively spit it out. Swallowing the fluid, she grunted before coughing a few times. “What was that?”
“That…” Brynn said, putting on a fake-posh voice “My dear… uh. Wait. What’s your name?”
“It’s Beth. Right. I forgot to introduce myself. It’s Beth.” She giggled, feeling the alcohol’s penetrating effect leak through her blood.
“Ahem, my dear Beth. That was a shot of Jameson. Some real whiskey. Not that shitty Fireball you were drinking.” Brynn’s voice clearly had a smile coloring her words. “Hey, where is that bottle, Jerrica?”
“I left it downstairs? I think?”
“Oh, whatever. We’ll think about that shit later. There’s plenty of drank in here.” Brynn responded, sounding almost annoyed.
“Well, uh, what’s this ritual?” Beth stated, confusedly, as she sat back on the chair growing more giggly as the whiskey continued to sink into her system.
Beth could hear rustling coming from the other side of the room. “You’ll see, well. You won’t see, but, uh, you know what I mean. You’re just gonna have to get super drunk and if you can drink everything we give you without giving up, you’re in the club.”
Her heart now fluttering with the thrill of being accepted, she felt almost giddy with anticipation. “Yeah? Like, what, it’s just a drinking challenge?”
“No, no. You’re gonna have to drink through this!” Brynn exclaimed happily.
Kaylynne’s droll voice responded. “She can’t see it, dumbass.”
“Oh!” Brynn sounded taken aback. “It’s a funnel. With a tube at the end of it.”
“So, like a beer bong?” Beth asked with a tinge of sarcasm to her voice
Brynn scoffed. “The point is that the tube is going down your throat, and… hold on.”
Beth raised her eyebrows. “I’m holding.”
A soft popping sound met Beth’s eardrums. “It’s, like, the ultimate loyalty test if you can’t see or hear. Just trust us.”
Beth jumped as she felt a small nub enter into her left ear canal, filling her skull with some kind of horrific, clashing tune that sounded like a group of toddlers given a broken megaphone. She winced as she heard the music vibrate her inner ear, buffeted by the sounds emitted from the Air Pod.
“It’s 100 gecs,” Brynn stated. “You have to listen to it on repeat and just chug whatever it is we pour into the funnel. Deal?”
Hearing a series of giggles as she said “Yes,” the rest of the room was drowned out by the brutal, atonal mess that rang into her other ear.
Now nervously playing along, Beth truly felt as though she was alone when she felt one of the women pull her hair back gently, forcing her to face upwards. Wanting to choke as the rippled tube was shoved into her mouth in an oddly violent fashion, she surprised herself as the end managed to worm its way into her throat without her gagging.
“Just pretend you’re cool with this,” she thought, her heart now beginning to creep up to a faster pace as her anxiety managed to crawl its way back. “I can’t give up already! I’ll be brave. This is what Kate would want me to do.”
Feeling the first rush of cold fluid rush down the funnel, down her throat, she wanted to fiddle with her pewter ring. A burst of terror crashed through her as she realized she couldn’t feel it on any of her fingers. Almost unable to think, given the loudness of the music, she steeled herself, resolving to find it after the challenge. In spite of her blindfold, Beth closed her eyes and just allowed the challenge to happen, trying her best to retreat into her own mind to escape this awful hyperpop clattering within her head.
Kate fiddled through Twitter and TikTok, allowing her nervousness to overwhelm her. Feeling her nails clacking against her phone screen, she grit her teeth and decided to look for Beth. Holding her cup and the partially empty bottle of whiskey in one hand awkwardly, she darted her eyes around the crowd. After placing the empty cup on the ground, she stumbled forward, surprised at how potent the candy-like drink was.
Almost tripping over her own shoes, she carried the stolen bottle with her, hoping to reunite with Beth. After scanning every room on the downstairs, she traipsed back upstairs, painfully stubbing her toe on the top step. Feeling ignored by everyone surrounding her, she continued to stumble forward, holding the railing of the balcony, now almost frantically looking for her girlfriend.
Squinting her eyes, she saw a small, dark circle in front of a closed, white door. Her heart jumped as she practically dived for it. Recognizing it immediately, she held the little pewter torus in her hand. Beth’s ring. Craning her neck upwards, she put her ear to the door, hearing girly laughter muffled through the thick, painted wood.
Biting her lower lip, she experienced a butterfly-like fluttering within her chest. Drunkenly pounding on the door, Kate shouted “Beth! Beth? Are you in there?”
The door swung open; Kate gasped as she was quickly pulled inside. Clutching the pewter ring in one hand and the Fireball in the other, Kate’s anxiety burst into fear as she caught sight of her girlfriend seated in a fancy-looking chair engaged in some kind of bizarre game.
“Wh-what’s this? What’s going on?” Kate muttered, confusion bleeding into her anxiety.
A puffy-faced brunette giggled. “Is that yours?” Pointing to the bottle of liquor.
Kate blushed. “This? Oh? Uh, no. Just, uh. I.”
A blonde woman snatched it from behind, causing Kate’s heart rate to rise rapidly. “What’s Beth doing?” Her lower lip was on the verge of quivering as she noticed she was being stared at as her girlfriend was both blindfolded and being forced to listen to music so loud she could hear it from several feet away.
“Oh, you know her?” The tall blonde holding the beer funnel said, cocking her hips. Beth obviously couldn’t see, nor hear anything going on in the room.
Beginning to feel a heat erupt from her chest, Kate’s voice started shaking. “Yeah, she’s… she’s my girlfriend. I was just wondering where she was.”
Upon hearing the word “Girlfriend,” the four women in the room exchanged excited glances. Kate sat next to the leftmost one on the pink bed, feeling the firmness of the pressure underneath. Feeling an uneasy wooziness, she shook her head lightly, feeling her straight, black hair make a short, comfortable breeze over her sweating face. Breathing more lightly, she looked up and saw the other women were much more drunk than she was.
The brunette cracked open a bottle of Bud Light. “What does it look like she’s doing?”
“I… I don’t know. Some kind of game?”
“Tch. Duh.” The hat girl scoffed as she grabbed the brown bottle from the brunette.
Darting her head from girl-to-girl, Kate’s heart dropped. Gripping the ring within her hand enough to embed it within her skin, Kate stood up, inviting the gaze of everyone else in the room.
She inched towards the door, feeling the soft carpet underneath her sneakers as she rolled her heels silently. Abruptly held back by the tallest one, Kate heard a light slap on her forearm as the grasp was inappropriately strong.
She lost control of her lungs. “Wait! Let me go! I’ll let you do your weird game, just… what?”
Now grasping Beth’s ring in her finger tighter than she’d ever grabbed anything in her life, she could feel her pulse pound against the pewter. In the back of her mind, she thought that it could possibly break under her panicked force or break the tough skin on her palm.
The room seemed abuzz as Kate started hyperventilating. A rush of panic erupted within her and an uncanny sensation of the room’s walls closing in upon her body overwhelmed any other logical thought. She needed to get out of there.
“Wait!” The hat-woman exclaimed. “You can pour some in too! Just…” Kate felt her balled fist covered by the stranger’s hand. Her oddly cold, clammy grasp almost felt inhuman, like some predator trying to reel in a victim. Loosening her grip on the ring, she tried to brush away the women’s grasp. If only she could get to the backyard for some fresh air. Some freedom.
A light clink seemed to echo through Kate’s bones as the pewter ring contacted with the hat-woman’s ring, immediately causing the blonde to pull her hand back. Kate’s jaw dropped as she breathed so heavily, she saw spittle spray from between her lips. Widening her eyes, she saw a gaudy pink ring begin to illuminate a magenta light on the hat-woman’s middle finger. Every girl in the room stared at the ring as it grew more luminous before the stranger uttered “Oh, fuck.”
The brightness seemed to reach back further into Kate’s eyes than any light she had ever seen, as if a beam were being transmitted directly into her brain.
After the pinkness overwhelmed her line of sight, Kate fell to her knees, finding the carpeted surface strangely-textured, sinking directly into it. Coughing, trying to blink some clarity back into her vision, she grit her teeth, feeling a cold breeze wash over her. Only seeing a few pink blurs as she wiped tears from her eyes, she screeched as she looked down, finding herself completely nude. Without hesitation, she covered her breasts and crotch, rolling on to the thick coils of the floor below.
Looking upwards, Kate found herself awash in a brutal delirium. “Am I really that drunk? What’s going on?” Blinking, feeling the tears fall from her face, she could see the four women from earlier all hovering around her, their faces unclear with the blurriness of distance. Looking down at her hands, then upwards, Kate experienced a pulse of terror so stark that she didn’t even realize she was voiding her bladder. “Aiiiiiiyeeeeee!” She screeched so loudly she could feel her own ears begin to hurt.
The blonde waves of the hat-girl appeared to dangle down like immense vines as two tree trunk-sized fingers descended towards her. “Please! No! Don’t touch me! Please! Fuck!”
Able to see the stranger’s fingerprints with an uncanny clarity, Kate attempted to crawl away, feeling the carpet squish under her own warm piss. Her heart feeling as though it was in her throat, she could feel her pulse pounding through every vein in her body.
Staring at the oddly-shaped coils of the carpet below, Kate couldn’t truly comprehend how tiny she was. Only an inch or two tall, she could feel the individual fibers of the pink polyester below roughly grate against the sensitive skin of her knees and palms. Already sweating, she coughed out a raspy screech as she felt the stranger’s fingers tweeze her on either side of her torso.
This skin-to-skin contact was supremely violating, as though she were undergoing a full-body molestation. Sweeping through the air as the woman lifted her from the floor, she gazed upon the strange, alien environment she was now surrounded by. It no longer looked like a woman’s room, it looked like an otherworldly megastructure filled with abstract shapes that had an infuriating familiarity to them. She could recognize the shape of the stranger’s desk, her bed, the women themselves, but to her they were of such a scale as to be completely new objects in her mind, filling her with a terrified confusion.
Let go a full inch off the woman’s desk, it was as though she were literally thrown down a flight of stairs. Scraping her shin, she coughed as she watched the sight of her blindfolded girlfriend mindlessly chug the beer that was being poured down the funnel. How could she have gotten into this mess?
Wanting to scream for help, she felt each word become caught in her throat. Looking down, she could see speckles of liquid. Tears falling from her eyes. So shocked, she couldn’t move or speak, she instinctively focused all of her brain power into interpreting the scene that was playing out before her.
The earth rumbled below her as she watched the beer funnel switch hands from the hat-woman to the brunette.
The hat-woman turned her back to the other girls, one of which seemed to be kicking her clothes underneath the bed they were sitting on. “What the fuck? What the fuck do we do now? This fucking thing isn’t the one with the reversal! Holy shit, what are we gonna do?”
Kate’s heart transcended into a unique panic that seemed to weirdly sync with the tone of the room. “What are we gonna do?” rang in her head over and over as she saw double of everyone in the room.
Perking up, the hat-woman raised her eyebrows, turned her head towards Kate, and then back towards the other girls. Huddling, Kate could hear their devious-sounding whispers echo through the room, reaching her ears in the form of a devilish hiss.
Kate grit her teeth as she suddenly felt de-synchronized from the rest of the room. The hissing turned to giggling and she was back to being the only one experiencing panic.
Noticing she was being stared at by the giggling, drunken blondes sitting on the bed, Kate felt the need to run, but her body wouldn’t obey. It was as though her thoughts were so jumbled that even her basest impulses were filtered out. She could only stare at the brunette woman as she finished pouring the beer down the funnel, ending with some disgusting-looking off-white foam.
“You’re gonna be swimming in that soon.” The brunette said, giggling.
Kate’s mind was far too ablaze with shock to truly understand what that implied. “Don’t spoil it yet!” The hat-wearing blonde said as she dumped out a few scattered objects next to Kate. “We need to figure out if this plan will even work first!”
Feeling the floor shake with the transmitted vibration, she saw a half-eaten container of peanut butter crackers; a metallic, threaded nut; and Beth’s pewter ring.
The immense blonde picked up the nut between two of her fingers and said “Do you think she’ll swallow this?” Pouring another can of beer into the funnel, she dropped the nut into the flow with a soft thud. Kate lowered her jaw as she watched the small, hexagonal donut quickly drop through the transparent pipe and land in her girlfriend’s throat, slithering down her esophagus without so much of a reaction.
“Holy shit.” The blonde said. “It fucking worked!” She then took one of the crackers, broke it in two pieces, and slid it down the funnel one by one, watching Beth’s throat jump with a little bit more emphasis as she swallowed them, seemingly without noticing.
The blonde then picked up the pewter ring, cocking her hips. “If she downs this ugly fuckin’ thing, we’re clear.”
“What if she notices? What if-” The brunette looked concerned as the blondes on the bed looked on with a confused expression that seemed to be a mix of both boredom and concern.
Kate’s mind was mired in a trance-like delirium, simply staring through tear-blurred eyes as she watched her girlfriend’s ring held over the tube that led to her mouth. The split-second it left the woman’s fingers, Kate stood up and allowed the dam of rage to burst within her.
“Fuck you! Stop this! Fuck!” She groped at her skin in a desperate attempt to wake herself up from the vivid nightmare she was having. “You can’t do this!”
She grit her teeth and ran her fingers through her dark hair as she watched the pewter piece of jewelry roll down the slope of the funnel in a series of concentric circles. Feeling her knees shiver, Kate felt two explosions of pain as she thudded each one on the wooden desk, her eyes tracing the descent of the ring down the tube and into Beth’s body.
The four women giggled at the same time, eerily similar in tone and timbre.
Now gripped with quivering, she felt her blood run cold as the leader said “You’re next!” in an irritatingly cheerful inflection.
“Wh... what?” Kate muttered to herself as she crawled backwards in response to the woman’s strange comment.
Reflexively putting her arms up in a defensive posture, she couldn’t prevent herself from eking out a whimper as she felt the air blow her hair backwards. At her now-miniscule size, even small sounds like the gentle scraping of unscrewing a bottle were phenomenally loud, like an ocean liner breaking against an iceberg.
The burning fog of alcoholic cinnamon forced tears to spill from her eyes. Coughing after inhaling one breath, she involuntarily salivated to such a degree that it literally poured from both sides of her mouth. “No! Please! No!”
Staring downwards, she could see the perfectly round glass O that signaled the entrance to the very bottle of Fireball whiskey she was carrying around earlier. Screeching, Kate waved her arms wildly in the air as she was abruptly dropped through the entrance into a chamber of burning fluid. Immediately feeling a scorching both on her eyes and in her vagina, she splashed at the liquid with frantic energy. Tasting nothing but the vile alcohol, she tried swimming backwards, only to find herself at the edge of a sheer, glass wall. Her heart now pounding, she could see through the warped bottle.
She was being carried towards the tremendous funnel. Piercing, agonizing giggling echoed from all around the room.
“Down she goes!” One of them jeered as the angle of the bottle steepened. From her perspective, it looked as though the bottle was twisting around her.
The pull itself sent a wave of horror through Kate. Barely able to see through the burning yellow, all Kate could muster up were some pathetic splashes as she felt herself poured forward.
“This is so fucked up,” the voice of the brunette said through incessant giggling.
The glass tunnel thrust all around her from every angle. Gritting her teeth, Kate felt her innards float as she found herself in a brief free-fall with a gushing splattering of whiskey. Landing on the smooth surface of the plastic funnel, Kate tried her best to dig her fingernails into the sheer surface, finding no purchase on the completely flat surface.
“No! Fuck! Please! No! Not like this! No!” Kate attempted to climb upwards, seeing only the ceiling and the tip of the whiskey bottle above. Washed downwards, she could feel herself lose any sort of composure, melting into a panicked delirium.
Finding herself at the bottom of the funnel, Kate desperately attempted to grab hold of the lip before the sheer drop into oblivion. As the river of alcohol continued to pour, she felt it force its way up her nose and into her mouth, causing her to fall backwards. Spreading her limbs out as far as she could in a terrified attempt to slow her fall, the flat, rubber walls did not slow her descent.
Screeching out pained, alcohol-tinged coughs, her downfall was quickly ceased by a sudden bend in the hose. Now on her hands and feet again, she could see the distorted faces of the four blondes outside.
“Say bye bye!” The hat-woman waved sarcastically as Kate, in her last gasp of desperation, hoped it would be just some sick joke.
The four women outside the hose all waved, the brunette twiddling her fingers as she did so, as the hose again turned into a vertical cliff with no hope of escape. Another pour of cold, golden liquid above splashed Kate back into her precipitous fall.
Warmth flooded over Kate, forcing her into a universe of violating, mortal terror. Inhaling for a scream as she felt a slick surface slide over her back, she couldn’t help but think that was the unmistakable scent of Beth. Countless memories flashed before her as she burst into tears, the quick inhalation of her girlfriend’s breath reminding her of their first kiss.
Kate felt the edge of the rubber hose slip from her wet grasp, her fingernails now digging into the wet, pulsing globes of Beth’s taste buds. Allowing the reptilian panic to take hold, she thrashed in what she thought were random directions. Coughing, she could taste Kate’s familiar saliva inundate the inside of her mouth, covering it with a mucus-tinged, alcoholic coating. Inhaling the humidity of her girlfriend’s mouth, she watched the tube leave the oral cavity just as she slipped over the disc-shaped buds near the throat.
Beth’s alcohol-tinged saliva clung to Kate’s nude body. Though the stinging sensation wasn’t as severe as within the bottle, the bodily fluid gave the sensation a near-indescribable itching. Feeling it ooze between her fingers and legs, she could almost sense the ethanol absorb into her skin and any exposed membranes, such as those in her eyes and crotch.
Feeling the precipitous decline down an unfathomable chasm, Kate spread all of her limbs as far as she could. Slipping further down, she felt an explosion of terror as she entered Beth’s pharynx. Gripping a piece of unknown flesh, Kate was abruptly thrust into a blasting spray as the epiglottis throttled away what it viewed as a choking hazard.
“C’PH! C’PH!” Kate’s core was deeply shaken by the unmistakable voice of Beth coughing. Splattered by a mixture of alcoholic spittle and mucus, she found herself bound to the back end of her uvula as the flesh around her spasmed, jetting up cords of mucus.
“Beth! Beth! Please! I’m in your fucking mouth! Please!” Still tasting her saliva, Kate managed to bubble out a few rasping pleas as she found herself dripping down the tiny punching bag with a cluster of saliva.
As the darkness flashed in and out of the warm chamber, Kate managed to sink her fingers into the back of Beth’s tongue as the uvula made contact. Cords of saliva connecting her arms to the fleshy surface, the adrenaline pumping through her veins continued to blast liquid terror through her entire system. Seeing light framed by Beth’s teeth and lips, Kate could only gasp as she allowed the oddly frigid feeling of hope bleed into her core.
Hoisting up her heavy body by grabbing the end of one of the large, flat taste buds, Kate couldn’t help but entertain the idea that she may have been found. That Beth was dropping her jaw because she knew that she was within her mouth.
“Beth! I’m in here! I’m inside!” Her heart pounded as she tried to stimulate her girlfriend into coughing again, possibly to eject her back out into the light of the outside world. Her heart brightened, now entirely focused on this outcome. Her nails built up the white tongue scum that her toothbrush couldn’t quite reach. Her chest was rising and falling so fast that she could hear the soft, wet splattering on the tongue below. “Beth! Please!” Almost reaching the center crevice, Kate winced.
Kate’s body gave up before her brain even realized it. Her muscles weakened, almost to the point of melting, as she saw the immense end of the funnel, again, enter her girlfriend’s mouth. Tears welled up into her eyes, turning the brightness of her potential freedom into a blurred mess.
The envelopment was near-instantaneous. The world of light she could see through the overhanging hose was quickly smothered out by a jet of Fireball and the pulsing of Beth’s esophagus.
“Nnnn! Nnn! Pls!” Kate, attempting to scream as she was washed down her own girlfriend’s throat, couldn’t vocalize anything meaningful as she felt the oddly rapid heartbeat thunder against her writhing body. The pull downwards took less than a second, but the experience felt torturously elongated within her mind.
Every inch felt like ten miles as the darkness overtook her, the slithering walls barely able to grab ahold of her wriggling form as she was spilled deeper into Beth’s core by the flow of the Fireball.
A soul-shattering disgust felt as though it were clinging underneath Kate’s skin as she oozed against the mucus-covered lining of Beth’s stomach entrance. While the pulsing hole slithered against the tiny woman, she thrashed with a sick panic she had never before thought possible. Gnashing her teeth, she madly attempted to scratch her way up the dark, slick esophagus only for the rolling peristalsis to splutter her into a churning, dark chamber.
Heat assaulted Kate from every angle. An intensely savage sense of uncleanliness clung to every inch of her skin; made all the more vile by the fact that it was infused with an inherent “Bethness”. The heat she felt in this moment was the very same as when she hugged, kissed, or had sex with her girlfriend. Shocked into immobility, she could only feel herself sink further and further into the Hellish compartment, her sinuses rich with the scent of Fireball whiskey.
Thrashing in an instinctive swimming motion, Kate found the “surface” of Beth’s vomit. Her splashes, muffled by the thick layer of beer foam, only caused her forearms to itch. Unable to open her eyes from the incessant burning, she inhaled for the first time since her initial descent.
Every cavity within her head felt as though it was lit ablaze with an acetylene torch. Every nerve in Kate’s body went into complete overdrive in an enthusiastic attempt to force her to experience her own digestion in maximum horror. Thick globs of ooze gave each thrash an extra heft, the adrenaline resulting in an ironic exhaustion.
Each breath Kate took within her girlfriend’s stomach increased her internal pain exponentially. The acidic, alcohol-tinged fog of the humid haze stuck to the inside of her nostrils, her nasal cavity, and her lungs. Pressing her hands up against the stomach’s ceiling, she could feel the warm cords of mucus slide down upon her, forcing her further downwards.
“Beth! Please! Let me out!” In her panic-induced pleading, she could hear her girlfriend’s distinct voice over the muddled orchestra of bodily squelching and liquid oozing.
The chamber sloshed from left to right, forcing Kate down under the thick tide of chunky puke. Sinking rapidly as she felt her girlfriend apparently stumbling, she scraped along the wrinkly stomach floor. Holding her breath became an agonizing exercise, given that she had no choice but to hold in a lungful of burning air permeated with both acid and alcohol. Wanting, more than anything, to exhale the internally flaming haze, Kate grit her teeth. Bashing into a hard, metallic object, she felt her left leg become completely shredded on the internal threading of the stainless steel nut Beth was tricked into consuming earlier.
Screeching out the lungful, the bubbles ejected from her nostrils, lacerating them. Her skin now felt eerily soft and tender, as if the lightest brush could whisk away chunks of flesh. Thrashing her way upwards, she didn’t even realize that she reached an air pocket before her lungs reflexively filled themselves. As her skin stretched with her chest expansion, she could feel the outer layer begin to peel away in irritation.
Thrust upwards into the top of the stomach, Kate felt her neck crack painfully against the ceiling as a tremendous force from below warped the pool, causing immense pressure from below. Unable to twist or move her head now, she could only writhe and splash, barely keeping her face above the foamy surface. As Kate ran her fingers along the oozing top walls of her girlfriend’s stomach, she felt as though she didn’t even know her anymore. She had never felt further from Beth than she did at this moment.
The stinging anguish pulsing from the back of her neck caused each thrust upward to be weaker and weaker.
Another warp from below crushed Kate’s ribcage against the top arch of Beth’s stomach. Now each breath, accompanied by an internal crunching sound, compounded the torturous pain she was undergoing. As if there were an explosion of broken glass shattered from the inside.
Unable to keep afloat, she found herself unable to even move her arms, experiencing her life only as an amorphous blob of fiery excruciation. Tasting the thick ooze of Beth’s vomit, she felt the bubbles of her last breath splutter out of her ribbon-torn lips.
Thoughts continued to flash through her mind. How she always enjoyed Beth’s little chubby belly. She wished to wince, thinking about how she was literally within that pudge at this very moment, but she had no active control over her face. Now twitching uncontrollably, she contorted into unnatural positions, creaking her neck left and right in brilliant, pure misery. She scraped her legs together, finding herself peeling away layers of her own flesh to be torn off and digested by someone she once loved very much.
Once she landed upon the bottom of Beth’s stomach, the only emotion she was capable of feeling was hatred. Hatred for the four women that tricked Beth into doing this, hatred for shitty college parties, and hatred for Beth. Twitching, she clattered her teeth together, feeling her soft tongue become mangled under the force of her molars. She wondered how Beth could have been so fucking stupid as to let these women take advantage of her for her own amusement. How could she not have seen how dangerous they were?
As she flowed into a solid, metallic o-shape, Beth wished she could cry as she realized that it was the pewter ring. Letting it cut through her softened skin, slitting into her exhausted muscle, she started to welcome the touch of death.
Still spasming, she felt delight in the fact that the rather sharp inner sides of the pewter ring effectively carved into her body, scraping against bone. “Fuck you, Beth” played in her mind over and over, repeating itself relentlessly as flashes of bright pink light entered into Kate’s field of vision. Sinking further into the center of the ring, a sonorous “H’RK” sound echoed through the hot, gooey chamber, finally forcing the side of the ring into the base of Kate’s skull, ending her life instantly.
Her corpse now embedded within the ring, it flowed along the bottom of Beth’s stomach, looking as though she were riding a dark grey inner tube. As she flowed into the pulsing duodenum, she would never again feel the soft touch of Beth’s lips against hers.
“You okay, girl?” Brynn asked as she rubbed Beth’s back as they both sat on the bed.
Heaving, Beth responded “Yeah, I just… yeah. I…” The entire room looked like it was twisting in an array of blurry swirls. “I just need to find Kate.”
“Is she your girlfriend?” Asked Blaire, still giggling.
Standing up, Beth stumbled forward, catching herself on the desk. The bottle of Fireball, only an inch of fluid left on the bottom, instantly caused another wave of nausea to wash through her.
“Kate… I need to find Kate. I need to tell her about the ring.”
The girls laugh. “You’re talking about, like, absolutely nothing right now, girl. Come on, get up.”
Running her tongue along her braces, she heard a slight grumbling coming from within her stomach. Grasping her abdomen, Beth stumbled towards the door. Opening it just an inch let in a chaotic blast of sound, causing her to slam it shut immediately.
“Fuck.” Beth closed her eyes before stumbling back to the office chair. “I don’t think I’m gonna find her tonight,” she said as she put her head down on the desk, sprawling her limbs weakly.
“It’s alright, girl. We’ll take care of you.” Brynn walked over and rubbed her hand down Beth’s limp arm. Squinting her eyes as she began to pass out, Beth noticed the raw, pink indentation on her ring finger where the pewter band was supposed to be.
THANK YOU FOR READING!
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Funnel of Love