Sunlight was filtering through my eyelids. Somewhere in the distance, there was a dull ‘boom boom boom’ – a truck on the highway? I groaned. The headache had returned, though it was more of a dull fuzziness. Sounds were amplified, too. I was obviously hung over.

Also, I was hard as rock, painfully so, more hard than I could remember being in my life. I had the vaguest notion of a sex dream, but no idea what had been about, just that it had been very strange. Something about a sentient mattress. Just thinking it, my hand absent-mindedly slid down and I was stroking myself without even realizing. I didn’t even really want to come, I just wanted to get rid of the painful pressure somehow.

A shadow fell over me. Had a cloud passed over the sun? I wondered.

A familiar, firm pressure came in against my body and I was suddenly lifted away from the bed, my blanket falling away from my body in the process. My eyes snapped open to see it wasn’t a bed, it was a big square sponge sitting on top of a rubber hot water bottle, and what I’d believed to be a blanket was a hand towel.

Oh no.

It hadn’t been a dream.

I was turned around in mid-air and suddenly found myself held up before Jennifer’s vast face. She wanted a good look at me and had no compunction about moving me right up close. Her warm breath fanned against me as her eyes took in my body as if she hadn’t seen me in a long time – which was somewhat true. The faint spice of her perfume still lingered about her from yesterday.

Her thumb, pressed against my chest, rolled down my abdomen, and then dug into my lower belly experimentally, as if feeling around for something, or testing my firmness, and I groaned, needing to relieve my bladder.

Actually, no, that was not the cause of the pain. It was then I became aware my erection was still raging. Worse, I must have absent-mindedly pulled it out of the top of my pants while I was half asleep, and now it pointed nakedly and incriminatingly at her, which she could clearly see.

“EVERYTHING STILL WORKING?” she said coolly. The blare of her voice up close actually vibrated in my skull.

Shaken, I said: “I was asleep,” as if that excused everything.

I was mercifully lowered from her intense scrutiny, but now found myself parallel to her chest. She was wearing a silk negligee which was doing everything in its power to outline the absence of a bra, and her nipples were erect. This was, possibly, an even more intimidating sight than her face. Each breast was as big as a small hill, and each nipple roughly the size of a sports ball (and probably just as firm). Looking at either was like looking into the face of a snake – you didn’t want to stare, but you couldn’t look away either, you were trapped. And they sure weren’t helping to chase away my hard on, either. Added to the fact, was that I was painfully aware that the weight of a single one of those gazongas could crush the wind (and possibly the life) out of me.

She effortlessly rolled me over in her hand with clinical detachment (which squashed my member against my belly as she did so), and then put me back down on the table top. I got to my feet unsteadily, ready to defend myself if she should try something like that again.

“LAST NIGHT I FORGOT TO ASK YOU,” she said idly, “HOW YOU’VE BEEN. I DIDN’T SEE YOU WITH ANYONE AT THE PARTY.”

She was fishing, not unlikely her coy way of asking, ‘Who were you thinking of when you got that erection?’

The inquiry made my boner disappear fast, if nothing else did. It was none of her business. Our respective sizes be damned; I wouldn’t let her bully me into catching her up on everything that had happened while we’d been apart.

I folded my arms. “Uh,” I said, “apart from turning into a living doll, just lovely. Really can’t complain.”

“I’M JUST SAYING, IF YOU’RE SEEING SOMEONE, WE NEED TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENED.”

My brow lowered. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

“MAYBE THAT’S FOR THE BEST, GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES…”

I scowled and looked down, wishing that I was seeing someone, so I could ask them to pick me up and take me away from here.

“You know what’s best for me, do you?” I said angrily. I hadn’t asked for her to take me back to her place. On the other hand, I couldn’t survive on my own at my place. The realization left me feeling stinging shame.

“SOMEONE WOKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE SPONGE THIS MORNING.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Jennifer quirked an eyebrow, and then placed her palms on the table and leaned over me. Not letting myself get intimidated, I turned and began walking away. She darted her hand out and swept me back with her palm. I staggered on my feet, startled for a moment, and then grimaced.

“DON’T YOU WANDER AWAY FROM ME,” she said calmly. She wasn’t angry, but she had a point she wanted to prove. I didn’t want to hear it. I huffed in anger and was about to lob another expletive at her when Stuart’s voice rang across the room.  

“YIKES,” he said with blissfully unaware suggestiveness. He had crept up behind Jennifer and now wrapped his arms around her waist and playfully spun her away from the table. “YOU’RE CUTTING A NICE PROFILE IN THE SUNLIGHT, AREN’T YOU?”

He kissed her neck and she gently fought him off. When he stepped back again, his eyes found me standing on the table, stuck, wishing I was really anywhere else on Earth.

“OH, GOOD MORNING, JERRY,” he said sheepishly. “SORRY – DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE. GOOD SLEEP? A SHAME THE ‘RE-GROWTH’ FAIRY DIDN’T VISIT YOU IN THE NIGHT.”

His voice was groggy and he was evidently uninhibited from still being half asleep. He turned back to Jennifer, who was now standing coyly at a distance, tugging her long, dual-coloured pontyail over one shoulder.

“YOU AREN’T TEASING OUR LITTLE GUEST, ARE YOU?” he said to her with mock accusation. Then he raised his eyebrows at me. “JEN JUST CAN’T KEEP HER HANDS TO HERSELF, OF COURSE YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, JERRY.”

He chuckled resignedly.

“I CAN BARELY FIGHT HER OFF AT MY SIZE. I CAN’T IMAGINE HOW YOU FEEL. YOU DON’T HAVE MY ENVY – NO OFFENCE.”

“I don’t think anyone on Planet Earth wishes to be me right now,” I said darkly. And then, hypocritically, I remembered how good my hard on had felt so close to her erect nipples, and felt a little sick and betrayed at myself.

“IF YOU’RE MAKING FUN OF ME,” Jennifer pouted. “STOP IT.” She was one to talk.

“WE’RE NOT MAKING FUN OF YOU, ARE WE JERRY?…OR,” Stuart added thoughtfully, “IF WE ARE, WE’RE DOING IT IN LOVE.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Not wanting to prod a sleeping dog (and there were two such dogs in the room), Stuart suggested we have breakfast, while Jennifer had a shower. He thoughtfully gave me a choice of cereal (in a tiny shot glass that was still too big for me) and toast crumbs, and in a separate shot glass, coffee. I felt awkward alone with him to begin with, but my discomfort melted away quickly with his easy, unselfconscious banter. He took me on tabula rasa terms; like he’d forgotten I was Jennifer’s ex.

It became clear to me he wasn’t threatened or resentful at all by my presence. In fact he seemed to like the company. It probably made a refreshing change from Jennifer, who could get intense – for lack of a better word – after a while. He was innocently good-natured and it made me feel bad. It wasn’t fair for him to get dragged into this. His only flaw was to fall for Jennifer, and I couldn’t blame him for that, seeing how it was my weakness too, and – being realistic – almost everyone else with a Y chromosome.

Later, when they had both changed, I asked how I was supposed to wash.

“EASY. I’LL DO IT,” Jennifer jumped in.

“UH, HONEY,” Stuart, said discreetly, “I THINK I’D BETTER HANDLE THESE KIND OF MATTERS.”

“YOU DON’T THINK JERRY WOULD FIND IT WEIRD?” she eyed him dubiously, “MAN ON MAN?”

I resented her presumption of knowing what I would or would not prefer.

“IT’S NOT MAN ON MAN,” he scoffed, “IT’S JUST BATHROOM ETIQUETTE, GUYS PARTS SEPARATE FROM GIRLS PARTS…”

“YEAH, IF YOU’RE FIVE YEARS OLD. AND,” she cut in smoothly, “BEING TOTALLY HONEST, I THINK I KNOW JERRY’S PARTS BETTER THAN YOU DO.”

I thought Stuart was naïve to wince at Jennifer’s frankness. He would get a lot of this directed at himself if their relationship went on, if he didn’t already. But oddly, I realized, I had never heard Jennifer make fun of him once since being here. Then again, I had barely been here long. It would probably start to come out sooner or later.

We eventually compromised that Stuart would run me a bath in the sink, and then leave me on my own to wash myself. I languished in the alone time, taking a little longer than I needed to. My body definitely looked different, and not just reduced size, but increased muscle that wasn’t there before. It was a full body transformation; defined pectorals, upper arms and shoulders, by the feel of it, my back, and even a six pack. If this was the mercy I got for shrinking, though, it didn’t really make up for it. Right now, if a woman looked at me, the last thing she would notice was my nice figure. My figure certainly was striking, but not in the way I wanted. If I got turned back, would all the muscle go too? I wondered, and then sighed at the wistful thought of it. If I got turned back…Was it even worth contemplating, or was it just a faraway dream?

Beyond the closed bathroom door, the sounds of Jennifer and Stuart arguing broke through my thoughts. Not raising their voices, but their exchanges were clipped, though I couldn’t hear what they were saying. It seemed conceited to think they were arguing about me. Both of them had agreed to have me over, made the decision without even consulting me.

Finally I decided to finish, drained the sink. For a second I was alarmed at the forceful pull of the water as it swirled down the drain, but fortunately, I was not so small as to be at risk of getting pulled down with it – what a horrifying thought. Then I climbed out – difficult because of the slipperiness, but I eventually managed. Drying myself with the hand towel folded to one side, I was wrapped in the towel when Stuart checked on me again.

“What am I going to wear?” I said.

“HANG ON ONE SECOND,” he said, leaving the room again.

He came back and placed a blue and red jumpsuit down next to me, remarkably my size. I turned it over and found it was a superman costume. It was from a doll, he said, that was left behind when Jennifer’s nephew came over.

Wearing the clothes of a literal kid’s toy unnerved me, but I had no choice; Stuart told me the clothes I’d been shrunken in were now tumbling around in their washing machine, amongst their regular sized clothes (“Make sure they don’t shrink,” I said before I could help myself).

I put the suit on; the cape was attached to the shoulders, so that had to go on too, like it or not. It even came with little rubber boots, which were separate, but I put them on thinking better of my feet being protected than not.

All dressed, I suspected I looked faintly ridiculous, but then again, the costume hadn’t really changed that.

“ALL GOOD?” said Stuart, “HOW DOES IT FIT?”

It was elastic and pretty forgiving.

“It’s fine, except…” I shrugged, “…do you have it in Batman?”

Stuart chuckled and ruffled my head with his finger.  

“LET’S FLY.”

He picked me up –his grasp was much more tentative than Jennifer, I noticed, and he didn’t pin me with his grip, but cupped me with both hands, which, at least gave me more freedom to move. We went back into the main room.

Jennifer was sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, the raised foot rotating idly, a magazine in her lap. She didn’t immediately look up when we came in – she probably didn’t realise Stuart was carrying me – so Stuart went over and put me down on the corner of the coffee table closest to her.

Too close, in fact, from my point of view. He’d put me down unluckily close to her raised foot, and if she’d wanted to she could have moved her foot a little and poked me with her toes, but as soon as Jennifer saw me, she uncrossed her leg from my sight, and leaned forward to get a better look at me.

“WE’RE ALL SUITED UP,” Stuart explained, “AND READY TO FIGHT CRIME.”

I didn’t like the expression beginning to spread on Jennifer’s face, and started to take some steps back. Before I could react further, however, she reached over my shoulder and plucked my cape up between her fingers, and to my dismay, lifted me off the table.

“HE CAN FLY, TOO, APPARENTLY,” she said slickly.

Stuart chuckled in spite of himself.

“HONEY,” he said, with gentle admonition, “THAT’S NOT WHAT A CAPE IS FOR.” He was referring to me dangling by cape from her fingers.

Without Stuart being there, I’m sure she would have dangled me helplessly a moment longer, but she swiftly transferred me through the air and onto her lap. As soon as my feet touched down on her firm thighs, her other hand closed in and held me there, as if I was considering absconding as soon as she released my cape. To her credit, she was not far off the mark in thinking that.

I quickly realized the superman costume was an unwise move, even if the only fitting clothes in the house. It seemed to be bringing out something even more vulnerable in me, or more predatory in her – maybe the irony of it, I guessed, the novelty of a tiny, weak superman. One way or another, it majorly underscored my comparative weakness. I almost wondered if I was better off naked.

Her eyes were examining me again, her thumb tracing the muscles of my chest. Her smile had fallen somewhat, her face serious and analytical. She could see my body was more muscular; she didn’t need to say anything to confirm that. She had probably even noticed before I had; way back when I first woke up and she held me up right before her face. But she wouldn’t have realised it was caused by the time machine; she probably thought I had developed it naturally, working out like a machine in my spare time, whipping my body into shape, unknown to everyone. That was not like me, and must have intrigued her. Following her quick-to-envy thought processes, it would indicate I liked someone, possibly plumbing up the nerve to ask them out, if I wasn’t going out already. The appallingly stiff morning wood would have only provided more misleading evidence to bolster that case.

I knew her well enough to read the unguarded curiosity in her eyes. She was thinking that I had never gotten buff like this while I was going out with her. If anything, I’d probably let my figure slip with complacency. She would want to know what had changed; if I wasn’t seeing anyone – like I said – why did I look better post break-up, and not worse?

“I THINK YOU’RE MAKING JERRY A LITTLE NERVOUS,” Stuart cleared his throat awkwardly. “REMEMBER, EVERYTHING LOOKS GIGANTIC TO HIM – THAT MEANS YOU, HONEY.”

She had been staring at me like I was a pivotal chess piece that would allow her to win a game, if only she could remember the correct move sequence.

Her eyes snapped up at him.

“WHAT TIME IS IT?” She said.

“TEN.”

Grabbing her hands around me, she stood up suddenly. “WE’VE GOT TO GO – THE APPOINTMENT.”

Stuart snatched up his car keys as Jennifer got to her feet.

“MY CAR. I’LL DRIVE.”

I was still clutched in one hand, seemingly forgotten, while Jennifer swung her handbag over her other shoulder.

“Wait, what? Where are you going?”

“DON’T WORRY, YOU’RE COMING TOO,” said Stuart.

“Where?”

“YOU’RE GETTING A MEDICAL EXAMINATION. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.”

Now we were moving briskly to the door, out of the house.

“Examination? Look, what is this going to involve? How is this going to work at my size?”

Stuart jumped in the front seat of the car, and Jennifer in shotgun. She pulled her seatbelt across her while her other hand held me down on her lap. The car roared to life, at my size, practically an ocean liner, and just as loud.

Now I was getting anxious at their lack of explanation.

“You can’t go making decisions like this without consulting me!” Much of my voice was drowned out by the sound of the car scrunching over loose pebbles as Stuart rolled out of the driveway. If they heard me, neither of them paid me any attention.

“Damn well listen to me you clods!” I fumed, punching Jennifer’s hand. “I demand an answer! You are committing multiple, gross human rights violations. At the very least, I deserve a very good mmmmphflmmnrn – !”

Jennifer gave my head a gentle squeeze between her fingers, squashing my lips with her thumb.

Laughter spilled out of Stuart’s mouth, but he quickly stifled it, embarrassed.

“JEN, YOU’RE NOT HURTING HIM, ARE YOU? WHAT IF THE VET WERE TO SEE – ”

“Vddd?” I let out a muffled screech. “Vddd? Yyyyrrr tkkng mm tttaa a VDDD?”