“Natalie, I need to get as far away from here as possible!” I panted into Jennifer’s phone. “Forever!”

It was the afternoon. After some time spent fuming around and recovering from my hangover, I had managed to take the phone, heft it over my shoulder like a door and sneak away under the guest room bed, but my nerves were trigger-sensitive; this was a pretty obvious hiding spot and it was only a matter of time before someone would pass by. Not to mention, pretty soon Jennifer was going to notice her phone was missing.

“You sound serious,” said the girl on the other end. She was the girl who had contacted me on the dating site. We’d had a brief and casual back and forth with online messaging before now, but this was the first time speaking to her in real time.

“I am! It's become a house of horror! I need to pack my things and get out of here before I become a missing person: last known location, my ex-girlfriend's butt! Natalie, if I drop off the radar entirely, promise me you'll go to the authorities!"

"Jerry, calm down," she soothed, "I can't understand what you're saying anymore. All I can hear is a lot of squeaking."

Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I went on:

“I need you to swing by and pick me up.”

“A breakout! Sounds exciting. What’s up? Aren’t your minders taking good care of you?”

She had an easy-going bubbly voice that I liked the moment I heard it. At least a phone gave me the ability to adjust voice volume so that her voice sounded normal. I had to remind myself I wasn’t talking to someone my size.

“Yeah,” I said, “you could say they don’t have my best interests at heart.”

“Aw, sad. And you want me to adopt you or something?”

“I just need a place to stay. I can look after myself.”

“Mmmmm…” she said uncertainly, “maybe you can. Or maybe you need some help. But you can come over. Sure. I hate to think of you all cold and hungry and alone over there.”

“It’s not that bad,” I said quickly. “It’s just a trust issue.”

“Well, sweetie, that sounds bad to me. You have to be able to trust them.”

“That’s very true. Can you make it over?”

“Tonight? I mean, I guess I can do that. You’re not too far away.”

“The thing is,” I said slowly, “you’ll have to get here at a weird time, like three in the morning, so they don’t see.”

Then, from down the hallway outside the bedroom, the deep padding sound of footsteps getting closer.

“JERRY?”

It was Jennifer.

“Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum, I have to fucking run!” I hissed.

“What?” Natalie giggled nervously. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Take me at the door. Just don’t get seen. And for God’s sake, if this number rings you again, don’t pick up!”

Before she could reply, I hung up. There was no time to delete her number from the call history – even if I knew how. The sound of thudding footsteps entered the room.

Now, oddly, it felt like I was in a horror movie. Sure, I sensed no mortal danger from Jennifer, but there was still something primitively terrifying about being hunted by a giant, having the floor quake as they approached you, and being unable to see their face.

Pausing by the bed, Jennifer’s upper body came into view as she got down onto her hands and knees and dipped her head low enough to peer at me. I was already sprinting when her eyes found me, making my way to the end of the bed, closest the door. Where would I go if I got out of the room? Who knew; it was futile to run for long, she would catch me eventually. I was fast for my size – the extra muscle development – but she had the infinite advantage with her statuesque legs. But better to demonstrate the effort, the intention to get away from her, than sit timidly and wait to be caught.

Anticipating where I was heading, Jennifer got to her feet and reached the doorway in two quick strides. Whereas, I was pumping my legs to the max. She then bent and reached her hand out right in front of my path. I was running so hard I had no time to stop, and crashed into her palm with such force I winded myself. Her fingers snapped around me, capturing me, and then I was swept up off the ground. With me captured but struggling in one hand, she returned to the bed and dug her phone out from underneath.

“DID I HEAR YOU TALKING?”

“It’s called privacy,” I said. “Ever heard of it?”

“YOU’RE THE EXPERT ON THAT, USING MY PHONE,” she scoffed. “ANYWAY, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I was hiding from you,” I burst out, wanting to hurt her.

She looked at me with sadness.

“IF YOU WANT ALONE TIME, FINE. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO HIDE FROM ME.”

“I think I do. You’re a danger to me.”

She quietly shut the bedroom door, and then went over to the bed and sat down. She held me up before her face. I glared at her, not appreciating the proximity, but didn’t say anything.

“CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS? CAN YOU LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF?”

“What is there to explain?” I said tiredly.

She had that rare, tender look on her face that I remembered from just before I used the machine. A look of being unguarded, helpless but to let her raw feelings show. I assumed it was just guilt now, because I realized it had been guilt then. But I was only half right.

“JERRY…DO YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?” It seemed to cause her pain simply uttering the words.

I stared at her in disbelief.

“Why would you ask me a thing like that?” I spluttered. “Do you understand how angry I am at you?”

“YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. I CAN’T IMAGINE THE PAIN YOU’RE IN RIGHT NOW. I BETRAYED YOU IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS, AND I’M SORRY. BUT I NEVER IMAGINED THIS WOULD HAPPEN BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW SCARED I WAS WHEN YOU WENT TO USE THE MACHINE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD GET ELECTROCUTED OR SOMETHING AND IT WAS MY FAULT.”

“Well, what did you imagine would happen by drugging my drink?” I grunted. “You think I’d act like an idiot and everyone could have a laugh at my expense.”

“OF COURSE NOT.”

She faltered for a second. I saw her throat convulse as she tried to get it to work. Finally, she answered uncertainly:

“I HAD THIS IDEA THAT YOU WOULD MAKE OUT WITH ME.”

My brow lowered.

“Well, obviously that backfired horribly, so no wonder you feel silly about it.”

She surged on with renewed confidence:

“I DON’T. I FELT SOMETHING AGAIN THAT NIGHT.”

“And you thought some drugs were going to make it even better?”

“FORGET THAT FOR JUST ONE SECOND,” she looked at me pleadingly. “I STILL FEEL SOMETHING. AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT BUT EVER SINCE YOUR CHANGE, THE FEELING HAS GOTTEN STRONGER. YOU’RE MORE LIKE YOU USED TO BE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING – AND EVEN BEFORE THEN, WHEN I FIRST MET YOU. YOU’RE FUNNY AGAIN. YOU’RE PLAYFUL AGAIN. YOU’RE NOT AFRAID TO SASS ME EVEN THOUGH I’M, LIKE, TEN TIMES YOUR SIZE. AND IT SERIOUSLY TURNS ME ON.”

Her cheeks were flushed now and I shifted in her hand uncomfortably. She was bringing me up closer to her face. Her warm breath was warm against my face, and ruffling my hair.

“PLEASE DON’T FREAK OUT AGAIN,” she said soothingly, “I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU.”

“Jennifer, I don’t – ”

“I WANTED YOU EVER SINCE I SAW YOU AT THE PORTUGAL. YOU LOOKED SO COOL AND SUAVE BUT YOU DIDN’T EVEN SAY A WORD TO ME. YOU MADE ME WANT YOUR ATTENTION SO BADLY. BUT EVERYTIME I MANAGED TO GET AWAY FROM STUART, I COULDN’T FIND YOU.”

“This isn’t like that,” I pointed out. “In case you haven’t noticed, things are a little different since we saw each other at the Portugal.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT. I’VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION NOW.”

Her soft lips then enveloped my head, and parted just enough to allow her to suck on, not just my lips, but my cheeks and jaw. There wasn’t really any way she could possibly do it without taking in half of my head. My face was massaged and tugged, and coated in wave after wave of her saliva. My ears popped, and the vacuum of her mouth even pulled gently at my eyeballs, which was a very odd, slightly alarming feeling.

She was so into kissing me that it didn’t occur to her to breathe through her nose, and the force of her breathing, as applied directly to my mouth, was almost too much for my puny lungs, as they were rhythmically squeezed and expanded to the limit, and I struggled to hold onto air for very long, a little like when travelling very fast in a car and sticking your head out the window.

She let out a soft moan, but loud enough to vibrate my skull, and pulled my head in even deeper into her mouth, getting carried away now. The suction was mind-blowing; I could feel my neck vertebrae being stretched with every steady pulse of her impatient tongue, like she was trying to coax me into a length of spaghetti.

She was unconsciously massaging my torso as well, and applying a little more strength than necessary, so even if I did get more than a small breath in, it was shortly compressed out of me again. Her fingers were forcing my shirt to ride up, wanting to make as much contact with my bare torso as possible, reveling in tracing my muscles, while her thumb worked lower, pushing the waistband of my pants down…

“No,” I grunted through heavy breaths. “No, stop!”

With a long sigh, she withdrew my head from between her lips and eased her grip on me so I was able to roll my damp shirt back down, and hitch my pants up.

“You’re in a relationship,” I said firmly. “And I need to get on with my life.”

Breathing hard, she stared at me without blinking.

“YOU STILL HAVE A LIFE HERE, WITH US.”

I massaged my brow, then gazed up at her with a look of incredulity.

“Be serious, here: I can’t stick around while you’re dropping hints to Stuart about engagement.”

Her lashes fluttered with confusion.

“DROPPING HINTS…? WHO SAID – ?”

“You don’t have to tiptoe around me about it. I get it. I think we should have just laid it all out on the table a long time ago.”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE—”

“You wanted to be nice to me,” I explained patiently, “having me up here. But it’s put your plans with Stuart on hold, and you don’t know how to get me to move on without hurting my feelings.”

“THAT’S NOT TRUE.”

“I’m not offended. I want to have my own life.”

“YOU WANT TO LEAVE?” she frowned. “AND GO WHERE?”

“What if I met someone?”

She smiled without humor, and it struck me as smug.

“WHERE WOULD YOU FIND A WOMAN YOUR SIZE?”

“She doesn’t have to be my size.”

She pondered over this a moment. Then she surveyed me with calm resignation.

“JERRY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I CARE ABOUT YOU DEEPLY. THAT’S NEVER GOING TO CHANGE. IT’S BECAUSE OF YOUR SIZE, I WORRY ABOUT YOU. I’M SORRY. BUT I CAN’T HELP IT. I WORRY THAT SOMEONE IS GOING TO HURT YOU.”

“Why would someone hurt me? I don't pose a threat to anyone.”

Her thumb began distractedly drawing circles on my belly as she stared off at a fixed point somewhere on the ground.

“I NEVER TOLD YOU THIS BUT SOMETIMES I HAVE NIGHTMARES THAT SOME LOWLIFE IS GOING TO…I DON’T KNOW…SNATCH YOU AND DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU. WHEN I WAKE UP THE FIRST THING I DO IS CHECK YOU’RE STILL IN YOUR BED.”

“You wouldn’t care if I died,” I scoffed, “you would just make me into a key ring – remember?”

“THAT WAS A JOKE! I ADMIT; A POOR JOKE. LISTEN,” she went on in a small, but firm voice, “IF I LOST YOU, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO. I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF.”

I was about to say something but stopped as Stuart’s voice called out from down the hall.

“HEY, JEN, I’M GOING TO THE HARDWARE STORE. YOU WANT TO COME?”

She opened her mouth to speak, looking at me uncertainly.

I cut in before she could reply:

“Go,” I gave a curt nod. “I think I’m going to go lie down.”

Without a word she carried me out of the room and put me down by my bed.

They went out shopping together while I stayed behind. I needed to sleep some now so I was fit to wake up very early that night.

Later, we had a quiet dinner in. I sat at the table, eating and not speaking or looking at anyone, lost in my own thoughts. Stuart chatted freely, obliviously. Jennifer sipped a wine, talked infrequently and threw me a sideways glance wherever she thought Stuart wasn’t looking. When I caught her gaze she quickly looked away.

Otherwise she seemed satisfied the rough patch had been smoothed over. Whereas I felt like it had just been swept under the carpet. I was convinced she wanted to have her cake and eat it: she wanted to get serious with Stuart, and at the same time keep me supported. It was unlike her to be cowed by the thought of hurting someone’s feelings, but that’s exactly what it seemed like she was doing: acting to preserve the feelings of both Stuart and I, to serve both our interests.

It was deeply disquieting. Not only was this radically unlike her, but she didn’t seem to appreciate how it was only doomed to fail. She couldn’t have a serious future with me in the background.

My eyes continued to drift to the clock as I patiently counted down the hours…

Eventually it got dark. They watched some TV before bedtime. As the two of them grew increasingly relaxed, I grew increasingly jittery with nerves.

They lay on the couch cuddling and giggling. Chaste, but still, seeing it from my perch on the table, on my sponge bed, and thinking that Jennifer was trying to make out with me only hours earlier gave me an odd sort of whiplash. But why worry about that now, I told myself, when I’d soon be out of here.

*

As he usually did before going to bed, Stuart moved toward the front door to lock it. My heart began to hammer.

“You already locked it,” I burst out. “Earlier.”

He paused and scratched his head.

“OH. OKAY.”

Then he turned and made his way to the master bedroom, where Jennifer had retreated moments before.

Turning around, I let out a huge sigh of relief. That was close. If the door was locked, Natalie and I were screwed; she’d be trapped outside, I’d be trapped inside. Our whole subterfuge would be kaput.

At a quarter to three in the morning, I slid out of my bed and climbed down onto the floor. Then, in the grey darkness, I made my way along the ground towards the front door. I put in no special effort to be slow or careful – at my size I was naturally as quiet as a mouse.

At the door, I waited. A few minutes past three, I heard some soft crunching on gravel outside, and then the door silently inched open. I stepped out over the threshold.

“Hi, Nata—” I began, holding out my arms.

A huge hand scooped me up. I jolted.

“Hey!” I said, shivering. “Cold!”

“SORRY,” Natalie’s voice whispered, very close. Before I could say anything else, she unzipped her jacket and slipped me into the breast pocket on the inside, and then zipped it up again. I found myself pressed in place between the jacket material, and the firm curve of her breast. I couldn’t see anything, but at least it was warm.

There was a rhythmic jolting motion around me, which were her footsteps as she made her way back to her car. Then I heard the car door open and felt myself drop as she got into the driver’s seat. The car door shut again, and the car started up. She reached up, cupped me with the palm of her hand from the outside of the jacket, and massaged me against her breast briefly.

“YOU FEEL VERY SNUG, MISTER,” she said pleasurably, “I THINK I’LL KEEP YOU IN THERE FOR THE DRIVE HOME.”

She hadn’t seemed to have deliberately stuffed me against her breast; it just happened to be where the pocket in the jacket was. Nevertheless, whether she was aware or not, her nipple was beginning to get hard from the stimulation my pressure inadvertently provided it, and it started to poke me in the small of my back.

I heard the low drone of the car engine as we began to move. It took about thirty minutes to get to her place. The road got rough as if with potholes at one point, bumping the car and causing me to be jiggled against her chest, brushing back and forth over nipple repeatedly. She giggled when this happened and told me off for tickling her.

Finally the car engine stopped as we got to her place. I felt myself shifting around again as she got out of the car and went inside.

“HOME SWEET HOME,” she murmured, gently tapping my head through the jacket material.

There was the sound of her front door creaking open and then shutting. I waited patiently in my dark sheltered space, while I was rocked back and forth in time with her footsteps as she walked through the house. 

The zip of her jacket rumbled as she opened it, and the tips of her fingers slipped down into the top of the dark pocket I was kept in, sliding delicately around my body and retrieving me.

I was brought out into the light in the midst of her bedroom, tastefully decorated with rustic and vintage styled furniture.

Turning my head I found myself gazing at her face, and she was gazing back at me with a look of curiosity, shyness, and restrained excitement. Just like her profile picture she was strikingly pretty, with fair hair and soft features.

“I’M GOING BACK TO BED FOR A LITTLE WHILE,” she said. “I DON’T HAVE A BED FOR YOU YET… BUT YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY WELCOME TO SLEEP WITH ME.”

“Okay,” I shrugged. I was too tired to argue – not that I had any better ideas.

Her eyes went wide.

“I DON’T MEAN SLEEP WITH ME!” she laughed, going red, “I MEAN SLEEP IN MY BED WITH ME.”

I inclined my head.

“It’s fine. I know what you mean.”

Her smile became disarmingly bright, as if she had been secretly hoping I’d accept the arrangement and was thrilled that I did.

Putting me on her bed, she stripped out of her jacket, top and pants. She must have been too tired to put on pajamas, and remained in her bra and panties. Her cheeks were warm and she bit her lip a little as she observed my reaction.

“UM…YOU DON’T MIND IF I…?” She rubbed her arm bashfully, nodding down at herself.

“You can wear whatever you want. It’s your house.”

She smiled again in that cute excited way, and picked me up before sliding under the covers of her bed. Lying down on her side with me grasped in one hand, she carefully moved me in and held me against her chest.

I turned to face her and tucked my head in against her breasts. Waiting to go to sleep, she let out a deep sigh as she squeezed me gently and her fingernails felt like heaven as they grazed gently over my scalp.

She dipped her head to look at me just beneath the covers for a moment, and her warm breath puffed against the top of my head as she gave a great big yawn.

Then she gave a low chuckle.

“I WOULD SMUGGLE YOU ANYTIME, BIG GUY,” she said under her breath.

My eyes were beginning to close. We slept for a few hours.