Summer weather had finally started to take effect, although a night in a drafty barn was still quite cold. However, the choice between a night spent with a roof over their heads as opposed to a tree in the wilderness was an easy decision to make. 

The farm had quite a few animals which noticed their arrival. Pigs, chickens, a few cows. Suji hoped the sound they made in response to her arrival did not awaken the farmer or his family in the nearby house. That would be an awkward conversation. 

Once they were safely inside and she was sure that they had not been followed, Suji reached into her pocket and gently pulled her older sister out. Jisoo was not pleased to have been turned into a speck again without consent, but she did at the very least understand the severity of the situation. She had made a mistake and allowed herself to be followed thanks to a tracking device of some sort within a compass she carried. 

Now that they were safe, Suji could return her back to normal. Her eyes glowed and Jisoo gasped as her body began to expand rapidly until moments later, she was back to her normal height. She then wrapped a blanket around Jisoo’s quickly growing body to preserve some of her dignity, since she had been naked after her clothes did not shrink with her.

As Suji had expected the process was a bit rough, and she quickly moved to comfort her big sister as the slightly shorter woman gasped for air. “I’m sorry for being so rough earlier, there was no time for questions. But we’re both safe here for now.” Suji said reassuringly and retrieved a bottle of cold water from her hip and passed it to Jisoo who accepted it graciously. She bid her to take slow sips as her body trembled from the size changing. “It’s good to see you again by the way.”

“Yeah… I’m really happy to see you too.” Jisoo said with a weak smile as her little sister gave her an earnest hug. This feels so strange. Being hugged by my actual sister. 

Both women took a deep breath and Suji shut her eyes momentarily. “Shit… All of that took a lot out of me.” She murmured. “I need a few hours to recharge. We will leave before the sun comes up and continue west.”

“Will we have to walk the remaining distance from here to the monastery?” Jisoo asked, concerned that she had days of travel on foot to look forward to after a power nap.

Suji shook her head. “No, I have a car built for the mountains at a safe location not terribly far from here.” She reassured. “I’m almost tempted to see if we could take one of the horses from this farm, it would be easier for both of us.”

“We can’t do that. If it’s not that far of a walk to the car then I’m sure we will be fine.” Jisoo said dismissively which made Suji frown slightly. “I’ve already been walking for weeks now. What’s a bit more?”

“This farmer looks like he has a lot of animals. I don’t think he’ll miss a single mare that wanders off in the night.”

“Well, it’s not that, I’m worried about the horse.” Jisoo replied a little too quickly which made her older sister raise her eyebrows in confusion by her statement. “It would get lost out in the wilderness if we just left it there. And we couldn’t take it with us up into the Himalayas since I think the altitude would hurt it.” She remarked. 

Suji blinked. “I mean yeah but I’m sure it would just graze on some grass and make its way to civilization somewhere eventually.” She replied. “Also… it’s just a horse.”

“It’s still a living breathing creature like you and me. I’m just not comfortable with endangering an animal if we don’t have to.” 

“Wow… You sound exactly like our mother to be honest right now. It’s kind of scary actually.” Suji said, more surprised by how against the idea Jisoo was than anything. She scratched her chin. “Did you hit your head or something on your way here? You don’t exactly seem like the traumatized cold-blooded psychopathic killer I met who wants to change her ways. Caring about a random horse…” She mused.

Geez. She thinks so highly of me! Jisoo thought in exasperation but decided not to bicker. It wasn’t like her sister’s diagnosis was incorrect. “Animals are a lot different than people. They aren’t needlessly cruel or bigoted or anything like that.”

“…are you also a vegetarian by chance?”

“Yeah, I have been since I was six or something like that.” Jisoo stated, which made Suji burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“So, you recognize animals as sentient beings and don’t want to hurt or eat them, in your brain that’s just a conscious moral and ethical stance you take. However, you don’t paint humans with the same brush and are totally fine eating them?” Suji asked incredulously, although she was still laughing somewhat. “That just… Doesn’t make any sense to me. Not that eating specks makes any sense to me either since y’know… cannibalism?”

That’s not the same thing! Humans turned into specks, the ones who I ate were barely even human anymore. They deserved to~! Jisoo paused before she said something she would definitely regret. “Yeah… it doesn’t make any sense.” She agreed quietly. “It’s wrong.”

“Do you mind if I ask about how this all started? The more I talk to you the more I wonder how someone like you could do the many cruel things I know you have done before.” Suji inquired. “What exactly was your training like to become an operations specialist? Why did a person like you want to kill and torture people as their first career choice?”

“It wasn’t my first choice.” 

“What? You didn’t want to become an assassin?” Suji asked, surprised to hear that as well. Although to Jisoo it also felt weird to realize there was a time in her life where the thought of killing another person or even hurting another person was would have been unthinkable for her. 

Becoming an assassin… Why did I ever do this? Jisoo thought and recalled how the first few months of her life had gone after her ascension. “After I became normal sized, I really just wanted to go back to Korea and stay there permanently. Tae-yeon and I could finally hang out together as equals, and my dad wasn’t always bitter when I was around. We felt like an actual family and… I was happy for the first time in my life.” She reminisced. “Not every female descendant had to do dirty work like assassination and political scheming. There was the option to just opt out of it and take a small chunk of money to go do whatever you wanted with. I was going to take it and return to Busan.”

“What would you have done with the money? What would your life be like if you had done that instead?”

“I really wanted to open a restaurant. It was my dream after I figured out how much I loved cooking. Tae-yeon and I were coming up with concepts for a name, thinking of menu items… My dad was happy for me too.” Jisoo explained, briefly reliving the excitement she had from over a decade prior. “I would have lived out my whole life like that. Met a nice boy, had a few kids and passed the business down to them. I could have watched Tae-yeon compete in the Olympics in person and been her number one cheerleader from the stands.” She said longingly. 

Suji remained quiet for several seconds before she spoke again. “So why didn’t you? It was your dream.” She remarked. “That bright-eyed girl you were back then would have never abandoned that dream to become a killer. What happened?”

“…My cousin Grace happened.”

(9 Years Earlier, May 6th, 2098)

I’m going to miss this when I go home. Jisoo smiled and gave a courteous bow to the slim young man who brought her breakfast. Although she normally liked to cook, today was a very special day and her newfound family would be aghast to find her slaving away in the kitchen like she normally was.

Next to a large bowl of miyeok-guk was a handwritten note from the servant’s downstairs, which wished her a happy birthday. Jisoo smiled and made a mental reminder to personally thank everybody who had been so welcoming to her over the past year she had been in Singapore. It would be sad when she left, but she could always come visit and say hello to everybody. 

Although I’ll probably be super busy… Maybe they could come visit me instead! Jisoo thought enthusiastically as she savored her birthday breakfast. She would treat them all to a lavish dinner and try to repay a fraction of the hospitality they had shown her.

Shortly after breakfast another servant arrived at her hotel room with a parcel. She thanked him and excitedly ran back into the bedroom to unwrap Tae-yeon’s gift. As happy an occasion as it was, Jisoo still felt a pang of sadness at the realization this was the first time in seventeen years that she had spent her birthday without her Tae-yeon. Normally they spent the whole day together downtown and went to all of Jisoo’s favorite restaurants. And when they got home, she had a freshly baked cake to look forward to. 

Her birthday was one of the few days in the year where she felt like she wasn’t a nuisance to her father. Byung-ho was always sure to remind his youngest that he really did love her and treasured her greatly. 

To think he went through so much for me… When I’m not even really his by blood. Jisoo thought as she tore off the festive wrapping paper on her gift. Adopted or not, he’s still my dad and Tae-yeon is still my big sister. And nothing will ever change that.

There seemed to be something made of glass inside the parcel, so Jisoo was very careful not to be too rough as she opened it up. Clearly Tae-yeon had been worried it might get damaged on the trip and had loaded the box with packing peanuts and bubble wrap. After she rifled through for a few moments, her fingers touched something smooth and wooden.

Gingerly she pulled the object out to reveal a small picture frame. Jisoo almost immediately recognized the black and white photograph inside and felt tears well up in her eyes. It was a picture taken from years ago when they were both little girls, both smiling for the camera. Jisoo was still a speck, perched in her big sister’s hands and waving. Both sisters were completely unbothered by the immense size difference. Her eyes glanced over a note written by Tae-yeon:

‘Whether I have you in my hands or at my side… You will always be in my heart.’

In the corner of the room watching the touching display as Jisoo began to cry in earnest and fumbled to find her phone so she could call her sister in gratitude, two figures stood unseen. To Jisoo in the past, neither of them were visible corporeal beings. The apparitions of her future self and biological younger sister were simply observers. Interlopers in time watching an old memory play out.

Suji watched the past version of her big sister sobbing over the picture and looked to the present version of Jisoo, who also watched her memory longingly. Her eyes were red and puffy. Although she was also only an observer, she could sense and feel the intense emotions of her past self as if they were her own. Of course, they were overlaid with other emotions that had developed later.

Regret. Pain. Sorrow. 

This is one of the last times I was actually happy… Until I met Eren that is. Jisoo thought to herself as she watched the rest of the memory play out. “I still have that picture.” She murmured. “I brought it with me everywhere I went.”

“...This is who you really are.” Suji said her thoughts aloud and approached the phantasmal memory echo. She got on her haunches and looked at the past version of Jisoo with an odd sort of reverence. “This is you before the Amrita Corporation changed you. The real you.”

“I honestly doubt that. Whoever this person was that I was pretending to be, she vanished a long time ago~.”

“No. She didn’t, she’s standing right next to me.” Suji proclaimed firmly and turned towards the front door where the servant had entered and exited from earlier. “Let’s move on. I want to see what happened next.”

That makes one of us. I know what happens next… Jisoo thought as they strolled through the door and stepped into an entirely new memory. Still on the same day as the previous one, but considerably later in the evening. It was dark outside, and they were now in front of a brightly lit club populated by several dancers and a few bouncers. 

My first time killing someone.