You did it again. 

There was no fate more cruel than the one which Jisoo had brought upon the man she loved more than anybody else in the whole world. A split second before everything mercifully darkened, they had locked eyes and she had the opportunity to see the horror reflected on his face. Perhaps it would have been better for Eren to have died in that bathroom before she had a chance to save him, for if he had them he never would have suffered the emotional betrayal of her actions which likely cut deeper than any mortal injury possibly could.

You tried to kill the person who entrusted his heart to you. 

Nothing had changed within her since her exile. Once again, she destroyed the trust between herself and someone who truly cared about her. First it was Tae-yeon and Byung-ho. Her adoptive sister and father who raised her, who loved her and supported her from the moment her mother left. And as repayment for their care, she had crippled her father and never spoken to him again, and left her sister heartbroken and forced to look after a broken household. 

You ruined an innocent person’s life for no reason other than your own viciousness. 

Each time she did something horrible, the justification was the same. It was because she was an all-powerful demigoddess and the people she maimed deserved it for no other reason than their deaths brought her carnal pleasure. If there was even the slightest reason in her mind she could use to justify it, Jisoo would latch onto it and declare herself a harbinger of divine justice when in reality it was just cruelty for the sake of cruelty. 

I am a monster.

Tears trickled down Jisoo’s face freely as she went through her last moments in her mind over and over again. There was no escape from this. She could run as far as she wished but it wouldn’t change anything, because she was the source of all her woes. Regardless of whether or not she gussied up her actions as for the greater good, or pretended it was to protect the people she cared about, the fact of the matter was that she was no better than the witches who tried to kill Eren. Perhaps she was worse, since unlike those two women, Jisoo recognized the people she hurt as people. 

Eren… I’m so sorry. I’m… C-Cold…?

Jisoo first realized how dreadfully frigid the air was after she attempted to inhale and it brought a sharp, cold pain into her lungs. She sputtered and coughed repeatedly, then realized that the tears which had streamed from her eyes had not flowed across her cheeks as they should, but rather dribbled over her forehead. Her center of gravity was skewed, and Jisoo could feel the blood pool in her head. There was an immense pressure around her pelvis and legs as well.

Where… Where am I? Jisoo thought and was momentarily distracted from her inner turmoil. Slowly her eyes fluttered open, however it was difficult to see anything. Her vision was blurry. She coughed and then attempted to rub her eyes clean with her knuckles. 

To her surprise, her hands were covered by a pair of thick winter gloves. Confused, Jisoo paused before she decided to rub her eyes regardless. Her hands were cold and clammy beneath the heavy duty fabric of the gloves, and felt numb. As she moved, Jisoo also became aware of a change in her outfit. Before she had blacked out, she had been dressed in her gym clothes. A tank top with yoga pants plus her sneakers. A light ensemble meant to allow full freedom of movement. Instead she now felt heavy and clumsy, cloistered in many thick layers. 

Finally her vision sharpened, and she discovered the solution to the mystery. 

Jisoo squealed in alarm and thrashed around violently for several seconds in panic, as she became aware of the seemingly endless dark chasm below her. All around her, snowy air billowed and rocked her suspended body back and forth over the bottomless gorge. The sound of ice cracking caused her to stop suddenly, as she became aware of how perilous her current predicament was. 

All around Jisoo were thick sheets of ice and rugged, jagged edges of rock. It was almost impossible to see how massive the space actually was since it was very dark, but from the rush of wind she suspected it to be gargantuan. Jisoo looked up, and realized that she was suspended from a mountaineering rope which stretched somewhere far above, but was unable to make out where the rope led to due to the darkness. 

Where the hell am I?! Is this some kind of cave? Jisoo thought and forced herself not to thrash around too much in fear. She had no idea how much extra weight the rope could bear, and did not want to snap it. What happened to my clothes? How long has it been? Where’s Eren?!

Before she could try to determine the best way to escape her current situation, Jisoo suddenly felt a painful sensation around her midsection as the rope jolted suddenly. She yelped in fright and flinched, concerned that the rope had given way on its own. However, to her surprise, realized that it had instead begun to move. Very slowly but at a continuous pace, the rope was pulled upwards further up the icy chasm she had woken up in.

A muffled, feminine voice distantly called out something in Mandarin Chinese. Jisoo frowned. The voice sounded somewhat familiar, but it was too garbled by the many layers of ice between herself and whoever that person was. She assumed it was likely the same person pulling the rope up. 

I think I’m going to be sick… How long have I been hanging upside down like this? All the blood rushing to my head makes it hard to think straight. Jisoo thought and grimaced in discomfort. 

Although she was relieved to be on her way out of the icy cavern, each time her savior tugged at the rope, it restricted the passage of air in her torso and pulled hard on her leg. 

Not long after she first felt the rope move, Jisoo’s leg touched something. She glanced upwards and realized that she had reached the bottom lip of some kind of hole in a thin layer of ice, surrounded by sturdy rock. At a guess, she had fallen through the ice after mistaking it for a safe place to walk. Now she wondered how exactly she arrived in this strange place to begin with. 

The voice was now easier to hear. “J-Just hang on!” She heard a woman call out reassuringly. “I’ve almost got you…”

“W-Who are you?!” Jisoo shouted back as her ribcage passed the entrance to the hole and finally, she was back on a horizontal plane. The mystery woman who saved her continued to drag her a few more meters through some snow just to be absolutely certain she would not fall back in, and finally let go of the rope. 

Jisoo coughed and wretched, as her body took time to readjust. She closed her eyes and cursed, then fell into the soft snow in misery. Everything ached, especially around her gut where the rope had continuously squeezed. Only after she puked a few times did she hear footsteps get closer. 

A gloved hand held her hair while she vomited. “It’s alright. Just breathe, I’m right here.” The woman said comfortingly. 

That voice… I know that voice! Despite the tremendous effort it took to do so, Jisoo managed to recover just enough in order to look at her savior from the corner of her eye.

Jisoo’s blood turned to ice the moment she looked into the woman’s face. Her beautiful heart-shaped face, with dark eyes and a delicate button nose quite similar to her own. Although she was all bundled up in countless layers of thick winter clothes, Jisoo could infer that the woman was slender and in excellent shape. 

She was the perfect mirror image of Fang Baochai. The woman who had invaded her home, and turned her into a speck with a simple glare. 

Her sister’s face contorted with a mixture of confusion and surprise when Jisoo suddenly rose from the ground and bowled into her. The two women rolled across the snow for a moment, dangerously close to the hole where Jisoo had fallen previously. Jisoo didn’t care if it required more energy than she currently had, driven to act by sheer force of will alone. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” Her sister exclaimed as Jisoo tried to wrap her hands around her throat. “L-Let go!”

“Where the hell are we? Where did you fucking take me?!”

“M-Me?!” The slightly taller woman managed to stammer as Jisoo attempted to strangle her. “This entire trip was your idea!” She exclaimed. 

What?! Jisoo thought to herself, right before she lost control of her sister. Either she was nowhere near as strong as her opponent, or she had lost most of her strength in the journey to this place.

Regardless, without much effort her sister managed to roll them over and pressed her weight against Jisoo’s upper body. She struggled, but quickly realized she was completely outmatched in a battle of strength. Forced to lay on her stomach, Jisoo felt the woman wrap her arm around her neck. She was now in a firm chokehold and was too weak to resist any further. 

As she struggled, the woman leaned down and muttered into her ear in a ragged breath. “Daiyu! Calm down!” The woman demanded. “You aren’t thinking straight! Just take slow, deep breaths.” She ordered.

Daiyu?! Who the hell does she think I am?! Jisoo tried to move her hands to claw at her sister’s face, but was easily thwarted. “G-Get off of me!”

“Not until you relax! You literally just attacked me for no reason.” 

“You shrunk me!” Jisoo barked. “You broke into my fucking house and left. What the hell do you mean I have no reason to attack you?!”

“Have you lost your damn mind? What the hell are you talking about?” She replied, with genuine bewilderment in her voice. “And… Since when do you curse? You give me shit for having a potty mouth but now look at you.” Her sister muttered in confusion. 

This doesn’t make any sense. Does she really not remember what she did? That was only a few days ago! Jisoo thought and tried to rationally consider everything. Either the woman was a world-class liar, or she was genuinely telling the truth. Frankly, either possibility seemed equally unlikely. 

Jisoo hesitated and stopped trying to fight back for a moment. “Why… Why did you call me that?”

“Call you what?”

“Daiyu. Why did you call me that?” Jisoo repeated.

More confused silence ensued for a few tense seconds. “Because that’s your name?” The woman remarked as if it was extremely obvious. “You must have a concussion… Memory loss.” 

“We need to get you back to base camp and see a doctor right now.” Baochai said in concern, more to herself than to Jisoo who remained still in shock.

T-That’s not possible. She died decades ago!

This woman isn’t my sister. She’s my grandmother’s little sister who looks just like her. 

Jisoo was no stranger to cold weather. However, an elevation of around twenty-thousand feet in the Himalayas made a frosty winter in Norwich seem like the Saharan Desert by comparison. Even inches away from a fire her fingers still felt dreadfully numb. 

While she recovered and tried to warm up, her great grandaunt set up a temporary camp in the icy caverns. Baochai occasionally gave her concerned glances, as if worried Jisoo might fall over from a seizure at any moment if she was not vigilant. She was insistent that her ‘sister’ not say anything, and instead take some time to regain her composure. Fortunately that gave Jisoo some time to think.

Am I dreaming? She thought and slipped off her glove to pinch her forearm. The cold numbed the sensation, but she most certainly felt the faintest tingle of pain as her fingernails dug into the skin. 

The cold air washed over her cheeks. She could smell the burning embers in the fire, and felt completely aware of her surroundings. This felt different from any dream she had ever had before. If it even was one. 

What was that flash of golden light when my hand touched the statue? Jisoo wondered and opened her palm. To her surprise her skin was still intact, and there were no small cuts or scraps from the broken glass.

On a hunch she rolled up her sleeve a few inches. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that the part of the tattoo on her arm which Daisuke had still not finished was no longer there. Panic began to rise in Jisoo’s chest. She patted her pockets several times until she felt the metallic outline of a strangely shaped phone. 

From the corner of her eye, Baochai noticed her take out the device and raised her brow. “There’s no reception at this elevation.” She mentioned. “But I do have a satellite phone in my bag.”

“What the hell is this thing…?” Jisoo muttered in confusion as she tried to operate the fossil she found in her pocket. It was oddly shaped and had to be flipped open. There was no facial recognition or fingerprint reader security setting. 

Is this even a phone? She thought and tapped a few random keys until she found the settings. There were no applications or home screen like she was used to, so it took even longer to find the calendar. 

Jisoo's eyes widened in surprise. “Umm… I think my phone is broken.” She said softly and looked up to Baochai who strolled over towards her. “The date is messed up.”

“Let me look. Maybe you forgot to update the settings for the time zone in Nepal.” Baochai suggested and took the flip phone from her. 

Nepal? T-That can’t be right either. Nepal was annexed by China in the late 2000’s. Jisoo was still a toddler in Busan at the time, but she learned of the conflict in school like everybody else. 

Baochai frowned when she looked over the calendar. “March 3rd, 2003. That’s the correct date.” She explained and handed the phone back to Jisoo, who held onto it in shock. “But the three does kind of look like an eight I guess.” 

“Umm… Y-Yeah.” Jisoo replied dumbly and looked back at the phone screen.

I’m over a hundred years in the past? Jisoo thought and tried to wrap her head around the ramifications of what this could mean. It made no sense to her, but faced by a mountain of evidence she could not come up with any other explanation. Unless she had died and was now in purgatory.

She rubbed her temple as her heart raced and tried to think rationally. As much as she wanted to slam her head into a rock and end this nightmare, Jisoo imagined the only result would be a terrible migraine. 

Alright. Let’s say that I’ve woken up 105 years in the past in the body of my ancestor. Jisoo thought and tried to think back to her history classes from school. The Diminution is still two years away. China still hasn’t begun the Century of Prosperity. I won’t be born for another seventy eight years.

Truthfully her knowledge of the world before The Diminution occurred was limited to key events in history, which in school was her least favorite subject. In this time period, the Amrita Corporation was still just Amrita Pharmaceuticals. She had no idea why Daiyu or her sister were in the Himalayan Mountains together, or why it had apparently been Daiyu’s idea to come here. 

“You’re acting very strangely.” Baochai noted and passed her an insulated bottle of something warm. “I knew it was a mistake to come here so early, your body hasn’t had time to adjust to this altitude.” She suggested.

If I start talking about how I’m from the future she’ll just think I’m insane. “W-Well it’s very important we came here.” Jisoo replied and tried to mimic how she imagined her grandmother would talk. “I’m okay. I just need a few minutes.”

“I don’t know why I let you talk me into this.” Baochai grimaced and brushed the frost from her eyelashes. “We’re chasing fairytales.”

“…I would have died if you hadn’t been here. I need you.” Jisoo said softly. Not as an attempt to maintain her disguise, but out of gratitude.

At that remark her grandaunt sighed. “You’re the one who is saving me by getting me away from Weizhe.” Baochai muttered coldly. “I couldn’t bear his presence for a moment longer.” She professed.

‘Weizhe’, isn’t that Baochai’s first husband? I thought they cared for each other? Jisoo thought to herself with a frown. From what she knew about Weizhe, he was the owner of Amrita Pharmaceuticals before The Diminution. 

After he willingly shrank to avoid suspicion of their involvement, Baochai took control of the company. Perhaps he had not been as willing as her older relatives explained. From Baochai’s bitter tone Jisoo ascertained that they likely did not have a good relationship. 

Before she became the wealthiest woman in human history, Baochai was considered the most beautiful woman in the world by countless people. Her looks attracted the attention of a billionaire who sought out a gorgeous bride, which resulted in their marriage. Weizhe never had any children with Baochai, that honor was instead given to a different man who was handpicked by her to produce worthy heiresses. 

The more you think about your family, the more repulsive they seem, don’t they? Once more she was bothered by the voice in her head, which had become louder and more insistent as time passed. Love is incompatible with this way of life. All that matters to the Chen Family is genetics and blind obedience. You don’t have to be a slave to this lifestyle!

As she tried to shut out the internal debate within her subconscious, Jisoo suddenly felt herself become very queasy. She hunched over and felt the need to vomit again, however this time Baochai was not available to lend any assistance, since she also had the same reaction. 

The inferno upon the kindling set up earlier to keep them warm began to glow more intensely, however with a bright golden light which was most certainly not natural. Jisoo winced and shut her eyes, the sensation akin to having her brain turned inside out. Mercifully as quickly as the bright golden light came, the cavern darkened again and Jisoo regained her equilibrium. Both she and Baochai blinked slowly and made eye contact, equally confused by what had just happened. 

That was the same light I saw when my hand touched the statue! Now’s my chance to wake up from this! Jisoo realized and looked into the flames to see if they had changed. She grabbed the iron poker used to nurture the embers, desperate to see if she could reenact the event that had taken her to this false reality. 

Instead all she managed to do was burn her hands. “Fuck! Why can’t I go back?!” She shouted loudly and threw the poker into the snow where the hot metal sizzled and produced steam. “Is this what I get for all my sins?! Is this my fucking punishment?!”

“W-What did you just say?” The woman across from her asked slowly and rubbed her eyes. 

A faint golden glow within her irises dissipated into their normal dark brown. Jisoo paused and looked at ‘Baochai’ carefully. Something about her had changed since the golden light illuminated the cavern.

She no longer looked concerned or worried about her big sister, rather there was the exact same confusion upon her expression which was identical to how Jisoo had been when she first woke up in this strange place. Her eyes darted around the icy cave, taking in her surroundings for the first time the same way Jisoo had earlier.

Jisoo inhaled as ice filled her veins. “You’re here as well now. You’re my sister.” She proclaimed as the other woman also rose to her feet. “Both of us are sharing the same dream of our ancestors.” She realized.

Her true sister within the body of Fang Baochai nodded slowly in agreement. They truly did look exactly the same, all it took was an alteration in personality for the change to become obvious. The tiny movements and habits which made a person unique were different between her sister and grandaunt despite their otherwise identical appearance. 

How can this be possible? Jisoo tried to maintain her composure as the absurdity of the situation became even more bizarre. “The same shrine where you shrunk me a few days ago. I touched it with an open wound on my hand.” She explained. “Then I woke up here.”

“Our mother made that statue herself. Your blood reacted with her creation.” Her sister reasoned. “Is this the first time you’ve had this happen?”

“…This has happened to you before?”

“Well, that answers that question.” The taller woman scoffed and turned her back on a shocked Jisoo. To her surprise, she began to walk away from the campsite. Jisoo was so stunned by the revelation that this was not some kind of unique event that she did not think to pursue her sister until many moments later when she strolled down an icy corridor. 

Jisoo managed to catch up to her sister and placed a hand on her shoulder, but was immediately brushed off and pushed away. “Where are you going?” She demanded and continued to follow the woman despite her open hostility. “Why are we here? What is this? A dream? A vision?”

“Don’t follow me.” Her sister snapped and whipped around to push Jisoo onto her back. Baochai was in considerably better physical shape than Daiyu, which made it especially easy for her to be pushed around like this. 

The dark-haired woman crossed her arms and looked down upon her. “I’ll do this on my own, and once I’m successful both of us will be able to wake up.” She explained. “Then you can go murder and cannibalize as much as you want.”

“At least tell me what your name is.” Jisoo said, her voice almost a plea. She stood up and brushed herself off from the snow that had stained her mountaineering jacket. “You seem to know everything about me, but I didn’t even know you existed until the day we met.”

“I know you’re a murderer who kills people for fun. Why should I do anything to help you?” Her sister asked harshly. 

She’s right. Any sane person would see this about you. The voice in her head said in agreement. “B-Because you’re my sister.” Jisoo said softly. “Please, I’ve never been so lost before~.”

“Don’t pull the family card. The only thing we have in common is our mother. I am nothing like you.”

You are not a goddess, and you do not have to be a monster either. The same voice said to Jisoo as moisture began to build up in her throat. From the moment you ascended your thoughts have never been your own. This person your sister sees before her doesn’t have to be who you really are. 

It’s true. You’ve done unforgivable things. However, just because you cannot even fathom forgiving yourself for every terrible thing you’ve done, does not mean you have to continue like this. 

You can be better than this.

Rather than shout back at her in frustration or beg for answers, tears began to flow down Jisoo’s cheeks freely. The icy air was cold enough to freeze them to her skin, where they fell into the snow like tiny icicles. 

No… I can’t be. I ruined any chance of redemption a long time ago. Jisoo collapsed to her knees and sobbed shamelessly. “I-I don’t…” She stammered in a voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to be a monster anymore. I tried to kill the person I love, the one person who believed I could be better than this.”

“I can’t atone for all the horrors I’ve committed. I don’t deserve that opportunity.” Jisoo said breathlessly. “If my consciousness can remain here for eternity, and I never have to wake up, then please just make sure I’m trapped here. Don’t let me leave this nightmare.” She begged.

Slowly her sister’s cold glare began to soften as Jisoo broke down. 

There was nothing Jisoo could ever do that could make up for all the horrible deeds she had done throughout her life. She could suffer for a thousand years in the deepest, most vile pits of hell and it wouldn’t be enough. Each life that she had ripped away, each person that could have been spared; the full weight of her sins should be allowed to crush her for eternity. 

Because she was a monster who did not deserve another chance. Jisoo had squandered countless opportunities to improve time and time again. It was not within her nature to be good. It would have been better if her adoptive father had done the world a favor, and listened to his wife when she suggested flushing her down a drain. The action would have spared an untold number of people~

“Suji.”

Jisoo stopped as she heard the voice of her sister cut through her sobs which echoed through the cave system. Slowly she found the strength to look up, and realized that her sister had reluctantly approached her and extended her hand for her to take hold of. 

The taller woman exhaled deeply. “My name is Suji. And this is not a dream where you can remain forever.” She explained. “We are both reincarnations of The Fang Sisters, this is a strong memory of our past lives.”