Neither Commencroft-of-A nor Eustace called for some recusing
Of Admyra as presiding judge. Each hoped they’d not be losing.
Bryce crossed Commencroft-of-A and asked, “Has Eustace ever forced
His attentions on you? … If he hasn’t, where’s this action sourced?”

Bryce called Eustace to the stand and asked him, “Whom have you been loving?”
“Only Commencroft-of-B,” said Eustace, “I have not been shoving
My attentions onto Commencroft-of-A. She’s been so cold
And unfeminine towards me, telling me that she’s too old.

Since I’d given up on someone whose response was hard as granite,
I went elsewhere on my therapist’s advice, to tour a planet
In a parallel dimension. She at no point did suggest
I should seek or find a doppelganger. Things just turned out best.”

Bryce asked Commencroft-of-B, “Do you believe your man (my client)
Has persisted with unwelcome moves on you or any giant?”
“On the contrary,” Commencroft-of-B responded, “He made sure
That I understood he loved me, not the one who’d never thaw.”

Then came time for closing arguments. The lawyer for the plaintiff
(Commencroft-of-A) restated that his client could remain stiff
And should not then be subjected in a social singles haunt
To her counterpart and someone she’d rejected, there to flaunt:

“She was clear in saying ‘no’ to him, which he was never willing
To accept as answer. So he dates her double, with it spilling
Over into her attempts to find a partner who was right.
The defendant rubbed her face in things, to vent his public spite.”

Then came Bryce’s turn to close. He said, “The plaintiff wasn’t looking
For a partner. Long before she’d made the recent social booking,
She had clearly indicated that she found earth men too small.
Why was she prepared to come to LATERALDATE events at all?

Yet she’s there at functions made for meeting tiny men, parading
The superiority she feels, indifferently degrading
All the tiny men who’d never stand a chance. Then when one does
(With her double) she comes running to the bailiff and the fuzz.

She expects to make a song and dance about her own expression
Of her wishes. Yet her counterpart (who’s told you in this session)
Has some wishes of her own; and so the ticket show begins.
Would we even bring this case to court, if these two girls were twins?

Commencroft-of-A enjoyed the right to say her ‘no.’ She said it.
Then my client walked away and sought some counsel, to his credit.
It would seem that she resents his first advances. That’s absurd.
Since he hadn’t heard her answer, no harassment had occurred.

She’s here seeking legal remedy, to sound a boisterous clanger,
Just because the man she shunned is dating her mere doppelganger.
Look at how she’s dressed in court, with tickets pinned upon her dress,
Saying ‘victim’ and ‘objectified’, ‘harrassed.’ But I digress.

She can hardly seek injunction, since my client’s not a vagrant,
Just because she pulls a fashion stunt that’s nothing short of flagrant
Retribution for a couple’s chance at happiness they saw.
There’s no cause to sanction this reaction in a court of law.