Undone(The Sweater Story)


As we all know Christmas was a week or two ago and I got a lot of nice gifts including this nifty sweater I'm wearing right now *points to his sweater proudly*. It really is very nice and everyone should have one to call there own. I would implore everyone to try and find a sweater this awesome!

*suddenly out of view a loose string is tugged beginning a dangerous dance of unraveling the fabric unbeknownst to the wearer*

This sweater is empowering, it makes me feel like a million dollars I tell ya! Why if anything ever happened to this sweater I would seriously be upset...really this sweater could totally cure the worlds problems if we tried.

*more and more the sweater begins to show signs of decay as something tugs the string more and more*

In fact I'd like to see that ShamWOW guy rock a sweater this awesome, nobody can rock a sweater like me especially this one! I'd be inclined to let all of you touch it's awesomeness but frankly I don't wanna so there. :p

*The shirt is clearly coming apart now as skin is clearly visable and more and more is coming up*

That's right, it's MY sweater not yours jerkface! You see this fabric? This fabric makes me better than you....it does the person told me so....I think it accents my pecks....really amazing sweater.

*the sweater is now halfway gone exposing the narrators stomach and part of his under torso*

This sweater probably was made from the finest silk and other fancy type stuff. Really if you were here right now you would say "My that's a fine sweater" and I was say "Yes it is" and then we would have brunch and discuss the awesomeness of my sweater. Because it is freakin glorious...in fact take this time to admire it. Go ahead, I will wait.

....

...

...

*the sweater is now nearly gone*

See? Isn't it awesome? Nothing could run this night as long as I've got my sweater....nothing!

*looks down seeing what's happening going wide eyed*

What....happened...to...my sweater?

*giggling is heard from behind me as I look down at a tiny five inch Snowfairy sitting on a table behind me*

Why?

Giggling Lisa shakes her head pointing behind her to a larger...much larger woman holding a string...a string once connected to my sweater and now part of a nice new set of tea cozies.

ANGEL?

*the large women nods smiling brightly*

Why did you to this to my sweater and how did you get in here...really this no door here big enough to fit you.

"Lisa let me in"

"How..."

"Look at the back wall...."

*glancing at the backwall you can see said wall is destroyed*

"Yes but why the sweater destruction?"

"I like torturing you ;)"

"Ah I forget that since I haven't ended up under your foot recently"

*suddenly a large foot falls over our narrator*

"You were saying..."

"Hmpf, Hmpf....."

*using Morris Code he taps out the next message*

"He would like to say good night to all you fine folks and that Angel has the cutest feet ever!"

"Hmpf, Hmpf!"

"Oh and he says my shoes are more awesome than the sweater"

"Hmpf...."

"Give up?"

*Morris codes -yes- under her sole8

"Good boy :)"

"Well for all of us here at wherever the hell this is, good night and be safe!".

The end(of the sweater)