[Report This]Date: December 29 2020 6:48 PM Title: The Argument
Like I thought, nobody taking the reigns, both parties being selfless, leads to doom. Living simply is simply too hard like that. That's the way humans function and you've fleshed that out pretty damn well without mentioning it outright. Show, don't tell. That fight was so real that it was hard to read as someone who has married. Went right to the marrow, that one. Outstanding work.
Now, any number of things can happen from here. You already know them. What I would like to see is Allison standing up for herself in a calm, calculated way. Otherwise, she's trapped. I mean, Brian might be absolutely correct. But you don't give up a job like that. It's like talking to civil servants about their massively unfair wages and benefits at the expense of everyone else. They might even whole-heartedly agree with you, but none will ever quit or refuse to take the money. Trust me, I've been there. Unfortunately for Brian, he has few other things to think about in his time. And he won't back down. Such is his nature, plus this isn't about the misallocation of tax money but human lives and dignity.
Putting myself in the shoes of the executed and comparing that to the way Allison thinks when she's not on the job makes me smile every time. I think about this story a lot, actually. Can't say that about many stories.
Part of me wants Allison to go full retard and ask Cathy for advice. That would be hillarious. Although, given the state of mind in which Allie is driving to work today and the expectations Cathy undoubtedly harbours towards Allison's methods of execution, there's bound to be something coming up anyway. And of course, the customers of Allison's terminatory service will proclaim themselves innocent again. Perhaps one of them doesn't lie about his (or her?) crime this time. Perhaps he or she lays out believably how it was all just one big mistake, or else how they truly and honestly regret what they did. That would be bound to make poor, big Allison all dizzy, wouldn't it?
Stories like this shape up like a tree diagramm. At any point, usually, there are multiple choices to pursue. I've found that picking one and sticking with it is really important, otherwise you end up writing a very confusing book. Like I did.
From here, Allie could take more people home in hopes, in part, of making Brian's life easier. But that will lead to only more intriguing problems. Or she resigns herself, which would eventually bring the story to an earlier close and enable you to pursue your next idea.
I've truly no idea what is about to happen, only feeble wishes. That's half of what writing stories is all about, though. You got me well and truly hooked into this thing. Can't wait for your next addition. I'm sorry for the lengthy comment, I just like this story so much. Cheers.
Author's Response:
Thank you for your continued reviews! No worries, I love longer reviews.
Yes, you were spot on in your prediction for conflict. I'm very happy that you thought the argument was realistic. There are definitely a variety of ways the story can unfold from here, and I really appreciate the advice to pick a lane and stick to it. That's certainly the plan! I tried to make sure that I had a clear idea of where the story would go before I started writing.
I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story! I hope you enjoy where it goes from here.
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: December 28 2020 7:49 PM Title: The Argument
I'm honestly in love with this story. This chapter managed to give me some "12 angry men" vibes. My heart is still pumping! It's pretty difficult to make me this invested in just any piece of literature, but this is some incredible dialogue writing. I love the moral debate between Allison and Brian, it somehow manages to be somewhat compelling for both sides and is exhilarating as hell. The debate made me feel somewhat similarly to how the arguement scene in marriage story made me feel. I can only hope that the characters get to reconciliate and bond further once they have some time to reflect. All in all, I'm thrilled to see what happens next! Well written works of fiction like this are what I live for (fan service should always come last Imo). Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you for your continued reviews!! I love the "12 angry men" comparison. I'm really happy to hear that you're so invested in the story- that serves as great motivation for me to keep writing. The argument was tough to write, so I'm glad that you found it compelling and exciting.
Before I started this story, I was worried people wouldn't like the fact that this story doesn't have a lot of giantess/fanservice moments. I just don't really think fanservice stuff has a huge role to play in this story. Also, the jury is out on if I can even write good fanservice moments to begin with. The positive reception to the plot and character aspects of this story has been a huge relief for me. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the story!
-Pluto
[Report This]Date: December 28 2020 3:39 AM Title: The Argument
Best chapter yet. Never has 4800 words read so quickly. Their argument felt real, like I was there. Good job, you nailed it!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I'm glad you found the chapter so engaging. The argument was tough to write, so I'm happy it turned out well. I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
-Pluto