[Report This]Date: January 01 2018 12:59 AM Title: Chapter 2:tbreakfast
Gonna be honest, I didn't read far.
#1 - It's as if you are purposefully writing as short of a chapter as possible.. I've rarely seen chapters this short. Take. Your. Time.
#2 - <i>god she must be at least 50 feet tall</i> <---- I noticed this as I was reading, and it was quite silly.... it's almost as if you didn't... wait for it... 'proof' read your chapter. I made this mistake during the entire course of my very first story, in which I never proof read my chapters. My story still turned out great, thank god.... but it could have been better if I took my time to proof read before posting. Always. Proof. Read.
#3 - Don't be discouraged. It's very easy to be discouraged when getting critical reviews, trust me I know. Every review, even the most minute critique, and drastically alter your decisions when writing, or even destroy your will to write at all. Don't let that happen. Take your idea, mold it, shape it, and let it evolve until it's perfect. We all have great imaginations, you just need to learn your own personal technique in which to express it on paper (metaphorically speaking of course)
Do you have gmail? I suggest creating a google mail account and using their google drive. It's almost iconically similar to microsoft word, only it's free. You get 15gb of storage (for writing that's basically infinite storage) and it comes with spell check, and grammar check (very useful). It could be a powerful tool to help you solve the spelling issues you are having.
Another great tool is dictionary.com and thesaurus.com! I always have those two sites up whenever I'm writing, that way I can learn new vocabulary and look up new words that I need to properly use or describe something in my story. This could drastically improve your writing.
I hope you don't discontinue this story, it has an interesting premise! Hope you continue it :D
Date: January 01 2018 12:52 AM Title: Chapter 1: my story
Need to proof read chapters for spelling errors, there quite a bit. Also I noticed spelling errors in the chapter titles, which is concerning. You've got a bright idea, you just need to take time to flesh it out more.
No rating, because you appear to be a novice (at the time of this story that is, I haven't read your other works)
[Report This]Date: August 05 2015 11:03 AM Title: Chapter 1: my story
Would prefer longer chapters.
Date: July 27 2008 4:34 PM Title: Chapter 2:tbreakfast
are you going to write more? it's interesting so far.
[Report This]Date: July 03 2008 1:11 AM Title: Chapter 1: my story
Way short right now. Interesting stuff, but about 1/5 of an actual chapter. Don't give up or anything, but do try to develop a bit more before posting.
Date: July 02 2008 11:57 PM Title: Chapter 1: my story
I recommend more detail and longer chapters. You're not on a time limit to write a story. Take your time to write a chapter. Use a word processing program to assist you. Your stories have potential if they're done right.
No rating as for now, because people like giving out 5 star ratings like candy.