Date: November 08 2020 11:49 PM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
I have really been enjoying this series and have been eagerly awaiting the next chapter. I really hope that it hasn't been abandoned and is just on a temporary hiatus. That said if it is permanently dropped then I had fun reading it and will remember it fondly!
Author's Response:
Hey! Thanks so much for checking in and for the continued feedback! You were the second person to leave a review. So, it's really nice to know that I held your attention the whole way so far!
I say, "so far," because I am not abandoning this story. But it is on a longer hiatus than I had planned. I just wrote too much too fast and felt a little burnt out about it, and didn't want to force any more material until I felt inspired to write more. At the very least, I'll come up with a good place to end it.
Thanks for checking in!
Xiao
[Report This]Date: September 16 2020 9:13 PM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
Been a few chapters since I've left a review, but I've enjoyed everything so far. Your world building is top notch. You've taken some unique and interesting takes on some of these fantasy creatures that is proving quite entertaining.
Polite and almost overly friendly naga who seem to view it as a great privelage to act as a host. This has led to some amusing interactions so far.
Werewolves only being hostile towards humans is interesting too, and definitely points to an intelligent design behind the disease.
I think vampires being their own species is a great take as well. They also have an interesting life cycle. Starting out soft, warm, and alive, then getting gradually colder, deader, and denser as they age. Now I'm left wondering if the physical reaction by Vela's body to Leo's presence is is a normal reaction between borrowers and vampires, or if there's something special happening with those two. Definitely looking forward to what the elder has to say.
Author's Response:
Hey! Thanks for dropping back in! You certainly don't have to review every chapter. Haha! Though I wouldn't complain. I love getting feedback, and responding to these reviews is really engaging.
And thank you so much! I consider the world building I've done to be pretty light work, but I just feel that if you're going to recycle tired fantasy species, the least you can do is give them all a bit of an imaginative spin so as to keep things feeling fresh. I guess I just didn't want a reader to be able to pop in and already know everything about Vela based on the title, 'vampire,' alone. I wanted to make being a vampire/borrower/wear wolf/naga etc. something the reader would have to learn about as they went along, while still adhering to a few, concrete pieces of each species that I think define them.
And ohhh, the guessing game. I've been really entertained by the guesses I've seen present in these reviews. It's a mixture of thrill and frustration whenever one of you gets something right, or close to it. Just shows that I'm foreshadowing effectively, I suppose, which is a tough mechanism with which to strike an appropriate balance when you aren't even really keeping notes and only have the outline of the story in your head.
All I'll say regarding your speculation is, "not bad," but I guess you'll just have to wait and see! I'm sorry I haven't produced anything new this week, but writing 65k words in less than a month is a little rough, and I needed to step away from the medium for a bit to allow my brain and enthusiasm a chance to catch up wirh my hands. And this gives everyone else a chance to catch up with what I've written as well.
As always, love reading your reviews! So thanks a lot for taking the time to make them!
Adieu!
Date: September 14 2020 6:37 AM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
Not a fan of the full tour theme so that chapter didn't do much for me. No offense. But I'm intrigued by the changes to Vela's anatomy. It seems like her body is coming to life again. I'm curious to learn more about that. Your version of vampires are born and apparently become undead over time but evidently, the process can be reversed? I also enjoyed the nagas and their very formal, flattery based language. They're an interesting addition to this fantasy world.
Author's Response:
Well, one person's big yes is another person's big nope with these things, so I understand that, and as one of my frequent reviewers, I really appreciate the feedback. I can say that, while I'm a fan of it myself, it's not a mechanism I plan to use often, as it's rather inconvenient for the characters in terms of being "in play" or not. But I'll be sure to mark any other chapters with full-tour if they come along so you can proceed with your own judgment. And no offense taken!
I'm glad that even though you don't appreciate the theme, you still enjoyed my justification for it in terms of story building. Part of the fun of this story so far has been that, for the most part, I've been able to tie in things like vore and even full tour to the story.
The mysterious effect Leo has on Vela's physiology does seem to be pointing to that possibility!
And I'm glad you like the nagas. I was hesitant to introduce them, but I think they've provided an interesting element both in terms of story and smut.
Thanks for all the feedback!
Date: September 13 2020 9:22 PM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
My first thoughts were that Leo would have some kind of effect on the Werewolf (if I recall correctly) parasite. Perhaps weaken the effects it has, perhaps keeping her human, or close to it, during a full moon, making her hair return to its normal color during the day. Pretty much just weakening the curse/parasite in her system. Make her a wolf-girl during a full moon, solving one of their problems for keeping her under control during a full moon. It seems like he has some sort of effect on weakening night based creatures nature, so it might stand to reason that it would have an effect on Jackie too given enough time. Though it could potentially be more dangerous as she still eats, thus he could be digested by her theoretically. So I assume that he would need to use either of the lower entrances, unless they get their hands on an anti-digestive item of some nature to protect him....
Author's Response:
Ha! That's a really interesting theory. I'll be honest, I wasn't planning on taking it that way. And when I described the "symbiote" that infects and caused lycanthropy, I was going for something more akin to a virus that flares up with the lunar cycle. I have a reason planned for why vampires specifically seem to be effected by borrowers. But don't fret, Jackie doesn't need the excuse of a cure to have a special fondness for little people. She just has a crush on them.
Date: September 13 2020 8:28 PM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
Yay, Full tour! Hopefully Vela can get her hand back, or get a neat gauntlet to replace it. I'm hoping Jackie will get a chance to have some moments with Leo, maybe his effect on Vela can work on Jackie too. That could be interesting... Though what enterance would Leo use with Jackie... Hmmm...
Author's Response:
Hey! I'm glad you're happy. And I briefly considered the Nagas sending her off with some gauntlet like a parting gift for her journey, but Ek-teen isn't Galadriel. Lol
and that's a curious thought. In what way do you imagine Leo would have an effect on Jackie's anatomy?
And Jackie and Leo will have plenty of quality time together in the coming chapters. I've been needing an opportunity to flesh out their relationship a little. They were too preoccupied wirh keeping her alive before!
Thanks for your follow-up review! I'm glad to see you're still enjoying this story!
[Report This]Date: September 11 2020 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 11: Departure
Back again for chapters 10 and 11. Leo had a fun little adventure there. You really conveyed well the idea that the thing about the situation that's pretty erotic is just being deep within the person in a place where no one else gets to be. It's so awesome the feelings between Leo and Bela, where he loves being in her deepest depths and she loves feeling him there. The way this works with her vampiricism and and how his warmth feels extraordinary to her is great.
I'm interested to see where you're taking this storyline of Vela's body changing. We all have to wonder if she's reverting to youth or something else? And did she leave Leo behind because she could travel faster without him, or because she's afraid if she puts him in her stomach again she'll actually digest him this time? But it'll sure be a bit sad for them to be separated for so long though. Hope little Leo isn't in over his head being surrounded by all those horny nagas (and one horny werewolf).
circling back to the matter of Vela's hand for a moment, it is sad that it is gone. Though I'm reticent bro think it is gone for good. I'm thinking there might be a meddling human out there in possession of a vampire hand, maybe even one named after a color.
Author's Response:
Hey! Welcome back! I'm so glad to hear you liked these chapters as much as the previous ones! And yeah, I've tried to convey in this story thst vore, where Leo and Vela are concerned, is an incredibly and exclusively unique experience that is as pleasurable as it is intimate and mutually beneficial. But I also wanted to use the way the nagas dealt with the hunters to demonstrate that even in this world, it can also be quite dangerous to be gulped down!
And you'll just have to see! But you're certainly an excellent guesser! On... a number of things. Wow. Imma need you to dial back on the prescience a little there, partner (Kidding, I think it's great how astute some of your assumptions are).
And whatever the nagas (and Jackie) have in store, I'm confident that Leo can handle himself! Vela wouldn't have left him in that situation if she didn't think it would be alright, regardless of how risqué it may be, not too risky!