Date: February 19 2020 7:44 AM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
Really great story.
Since you asked which we wanted to see more of:
I'd like more of Linh, I like the idea of a tiny vietnamese girl having an American way smaller than her to torment, also the fact that she is actually a good person but being tempted by her sadistic desires.
Date: February 18 2020 9:03 PM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
Great stuff all of this, the tension draw up from the previous flashback was intense.
It's like you know something was in there, but yet when it happens you couldn't believe it and the fear was palpable.
Still love Sarah.
Date: February 18 2020 3:49 PM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
Sort of a baffling review, below. I can't really wrap my head around someone who's so riveted to a story that he's willing to read 150,000 words + and then gets thrown into hysterics when a child appears and then disappears (back in to the boot) for a couple paragraphs.
I'd have a problem with it if, say, the child were one of the giantess torturers. It's pretty clear the reader is supposed to imagine him/herself in the kid's place, here. So it's also pretty clear, to any non-hysterical reader, that this whole chapter (from the standpoint of the kid and Sarah's soon-to-be victim) is about that middle-aged mother.
It also makes plenty of sense for them to be kids because Sarah's mom is 'educating' them to be slaves, but hell, what do I know.
Anyway, great job. Don't cave to the losers and fakers. But here's another 5 meaningless stars in case you're thinking of caving.
Date: February 17 2020 8:37 PM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
I was very into this until you went full on sicko mode and brought an eight year old into the story; I know I said I wanted to see what happened to the brothers, but eight years old is seriously crossing a line.
To be honest, the age was chosen purely for shock. It's not something i'm interested in and i didn't really think too much of it.
But i think i'd agree. It's kind of irrelevant to the story, and i'm not going to be addressing characters on the younger side after this storyline plays out. I've gone ahead and changed his age but i appreciate the feedback nonetheless.
Date: February 11 2020 7:22 PM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
Oh I see what you’re doing...get feedback...then exceed the inferred expectations...ok...fine I can play that game.
This story and concept is amazing. The “slow burn” is forgiven because the buildup of character is specific enough without actually limiting the character and the explicit world building is so abstract that it’s easy to see what else is implied that really brings the world alive...without stealing focus or needing a whole chapter to “set the mood”
I have my own hopes for how I want things to go...but I much prefer to be surprised. You’ve already provided characters that are opposite in almost every way and allowed a sampling of interaction between them both. While the actions are basically the same the motivations and priorities are starkly different. Although Diane is feigning indifference to blend and not draw attention to her true intentions...I question her true intentions...long before you have reason to...literally from the introduction of Diane I said “yeah she’s all pro-tiny man now...but she’ll change and see the other side” I love that just love that...but Sarah...Sarah was/could be the answer instead. Maybe she turns her. Or maybe she does with a twist or maybe you introduce a new character like a disgruntled baggage handler or a clueless air traffic controller that is indifferent/accepting of the status quo...I dunno I want the Underground Railroad to exist but maybe this one is a “honey trap” of sorts, but I digress...did I say well done mate? Because well F$&@#*G DONE MATE!
Thanks! Be sure to check the original posting on my old account here for new updates (I got back in)
Date: February 07 2020 7:17 PM Title: Chapter X-1: To the Airport
Oh man! That sucks... sorry to hear that. I was wondering why we hadn't heard from you in a while!
To anyone just discovering this story, check it out. It's one of the best on this site, you won't be disappointed! Especially if you love foot stuff or inshoe.