Date: January 12 2020 8:17 PM Title: Chapter 1
Just wanted you to know, I just read AlisaBlueBird's story. I definitely relate to and agree with you being inspired by her story. What a great and, in a sadistical way, whimsical story.
Oh, one quick thought. When Averie had Marshmellow's tail and legs still sticking out from her asshole, looking back at the camera it would have been funny if she either commented to the computer camera or noted to herself that the sight reminded her of a Playboy Bunny with their bushy cotton tails, only unlike theirs fastened to the back of their panties, Averie's was an actual bunny tail. She literally has a bunny tail. HA HA HA
Author's Response:
Yeah Alisa's story was great, it was just over a little too quick for my tastes. Hence why I had to write my own version to satisfy my craving.
Oh yeah a little comment about the bunny tail would have been fun~ Averie will have to keep that in mind for next halloween, dressing up as a bunny girl and a bunny up her ass with just its tail sticking out. As a party tricky she could squeeze her ass cheeks to make the tail twitch.
Date: January 12 2020 7:28 PM Title: Chapter 1
NICE! Lucky Marshmallow.
We all heard the infamous gerbil stories. To do so with a rabbit, quite the idea {even if inspired by AlisaBlueBird as you so rightly give credit}.
Your story is well written. It's easy and enjoyable to read. Grammatical errors, none that I noted. Descriptions brief yet to the point. Very nicely done, bravo.
The only change I would make is Acerie's plans for Marshmellow. Yes, her initial intent is to keep him up her ass "allllllll day"; though walking down the hallway for breakfast and feeling the bunny up her butt, perhaps Averie could decide to keep Marshmellow. Maybe take him back to college with her, the idea of having him live inside her too much of an arousal for her to deny. Thoughts of walking aroud campus, sitting in lecture halls, going out with her girlfriends, and pleasuring herself at night all the while a cute, white rabbit named Marshmellow living snuggly up her ass.
Author's Response:
Thank you for all the lovely feedback! <3
And yes lol, I've heard of the gerbil story. I've been terribly disappointed how few stories and hentai art of that type I could find online. I'm generally more into shrunken people as prey, but occasionally it's fun to play with other options~
I'm all flustered at the compliments on my writing. I try to keep in mind that I'm writing smut, not great literature, so it's helpful to keep the story moving at a fair pace without long detailed descriptions of elements that aren't arousing to think about.
With Averie's future plans, it's certainly possible she might change her mind and choose to let Marshmellow out to play with again. Alternatively, I expect the campus pet shop is going to be getting a lot of business from Averie~