Reviews For A Brand-New League
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Machinistmage Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 16 2022 11:22 PM Title: Introduction.

This has been a really fun read, loving the variety, both in characters and content. Especially the inclusion of NPC trainer classes. Also really enjoy the Pokemon themed transformation stuff, especially in Roxie's chapter.

I wouldn't mind seeing how the new League rules affected regions in some of the spin-off games. For example...

On the Lental Islands (from New Pokemon Snap) maybe Rita releases shrunken trainers into the wild, seemingly as an act of kidness...but actually so she can photograph them being abused by wild Pokemon.

Or maybe leverage Orre Region's lack of Pokemon to make shrunken trainers into a black market luxury.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing more!



Author's Response:

Haven't really considered spin off game material, but that's a pretty good idea. There's plenty to choose from. The only immediate thing I have lined up for the future atm, is a story for Pokemon Legends Arceus. But, I don't know if that will be added to this series or a stand alone short story. 

Reviewer: Storysmith Signed [Report This]
Date: February 10 2022 3:27 AM Title: Roxanne

I personally prefer gentler stories some of these chapters have had concepts so out there, or in extreme cases just plain gross. That I have just skipped some of them entirely.


That’s  just me though. 



Author's Response:

Can take that into consideration going forward for more gentler ones. Have a couple lined up actually I want to put out there. 

Reviewer: Another_Reader Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 09 2022 12:52 AM Title: Introduction.


Hi Franchise Writer, and thanks for replying too. I could just have replied to your answer through e-mail, or created a Discord account, but I think it's better dropping a more accurate, and better starred of course ;) , review, as now I know better the intentions of your story and can only agree to the way it's written. I really thought this story was meant to be a long, very complex cruel story (the ones I usually go after) and, considering this thought, I reviewed your story the way I did, but as NRawk (and now you) clarified, this wasn't the case.

As NRawk and you explained me, this story wasn't meant to be that big at first and the purpose of the story was, basically, to add different scenarios with pokémon girls doing some cruelty to male trainers, with some lighter girl in one on other chapter. The story, basically, is meant to be, as you explained better, a combination of shorter stories, each story in its own chapter, showing different fetishes and scenarios in the 'just see what's happening now' fashion, and I agree with you, in this case the story is doing great, with lots of positive comments and readers asking for this or that girl in specific scenarios. One or another member may not like the story or find it to be just offensive, but in this case it's just a matter of opinion, I think so.

So well, I can now give the story a better rating, as it's doing exactly what it's meant to do, and it's doing great. For me, I'm again reading the chapters I didn't read yet. Not my favorite kind of story, I must confess, but I'm giving the story a chance and let's see what happens from now on, as there's more different-minded girls appearing on newer chapters :)

Reviewer: Another_Reader Signed star [Report This]
Date: February 05 2022 6:12 AM Title: Introduction.

Hi! ^_^

I'm a reader of the site for some years and, despite enjoying also cruel giantesses and the likes, I'm with a rather mixed opinion about that story of yours... So mixed that I had to create an account just to write about it in that review, and I hope you deal with it as a sincere, mature review, not just an angry opinion (like it seems that another member had done before here in your story, and yes, (s)he has the right to do so anyway, I'm not complaining). If it's to accept only the positive reviews, then the reviewing system can be turned off, as it becomes nonsense at it most primal function. And I'm sorry if I end writing too much. Since I was a kid (I'm almost 30 years old now) I always liked to analyze everything to the deepest, having a better view of many aspects and even helping people with that. This is why it was so easy for me to choose to be a Psychologist.

But well, let's begin. At first, I'd like to praise you for the way you wrote the story so far. Despite strongly lacking better descriptions in the main actions, the overall/world descriptions are pretty well balanced: just the right balance to give us readers the needed visual information without taking from us the right to imagine a bit too. This is a rather rare ability among many writers today, even professional ones, and you have that with you. Congrats, really! :D

Another very good point is that your story is able to arouse some sort of feelings, good or bad, towards one character or another (as it's clearly seen among the many thoughtful reviews your story has, even the angry one: yes this can be considered good at this point of view), giving to the reader the option to personally like/dislike one or other character by its behavior or its intrinsic personal values. Again, this is somewhat rare among writers, as most just write about their characters in a rather plain manner, taking from us readers the depth we'd like to see in character development.

But for the negative part of your story, I must agree, in a non-aggressive way (as I'm not angry), with the negative review, not annulling/discrediting the good ones, of course (even my review has good points, as you saw them yourself - are you still here? ;D ). Despite having nice world descriptions, they strongly tend to the same thing, always and always. The scenarios changes, sometimes a lot, but the soul don't. This makes your story roundly unidimensional, as stated before by the 'angry' member. Before I can explain it better, I must also add that, as a woman myself, I felt a bit sad/disturbed by the way your story showed women in general (about, let's say, 99,5% of the women in your story). They just changed from normal girls and women to man-eating, soulless, women-shaped monsters. I pretty know this isn't what you wanted to show about women (or I really really want to believe that), but this is what you story shows, straight to the point. And now I can better explain about your story being unidimensional: as said, almost 100% of the women in your story takes advantage on a device that can reorganize molecular matter and gives them brutal advantage over men to just torture them. Despite your story, as you explained on the reviews being just a fetish story, it still lacks substance, even for a fetish story. I'm not saying that you should write it like it was actually happening in real world (it would make your fetish story impossible and thus un-writeable), but many real-world problems, some of them correctly raised by the 'angry' member, should be commonly present here no matter what. In example, many eaten/crushed/shoved/whatever-the-torture-they-suffered men have mothers. Many of them have girlfriends, wifes, daughters... and these women would obviously miss the killed men. Even for a fetish story, it's pretty expected a good amount of women to oppose to that new world order (usually these opposition get dealt too ;D ). Also, you showed normal, ordinary women widely, eagerly accepting that device and torturing men like if they never loved men before, out of nothing heartlessly killing boys and men they usually loved or had nothing against a simple second before. Like, as I said before, they were just women-shaped monsters, with no soul or rationality to make them something that could be called human. Most of the women in your story have memories about fathers, sons, boyfriends... Okay, there are women that simply don't care, but in your story, (almost) no woman actually cared and this made your story sound unreal and potentially boring, even in a fetish world.

To serve as an example, I'll talk about a story that was long deleted in this site when its author disappeared. Despite having a totally different background, the premise was exactly the same: women with a shrinking device shrinking all men in the world, a new world order with women ruling everything (oh yeah! >:D ). I could say that this story was pretty related to yours, somehow. But the difference is that the author showed girls crying the loss of a father, mothers crying because their sons were eaten, women that refused to do harm to men that would be innocent... the story even explained how there was a strong, world-wide, well-structured educational propaganda against men which had 'brainwashed' most girls and women in the world, successfully explaining why most women attacked and tortured and ate men, but even in this world, there was men resisting, and many women supporting them. It was pretty realistic inside a fetish story, despite men continuing to be tortured like they are supposed to be in stories like that ;) . It gave the story more substance, more material, something more of us readers to grasp at. But your story, no, it only shows women out of nothing changing into torturing creatures with no previous love for men, any men, not even the closest, related ones. Your story simply doesn't show that and it's up for the reader to imagine that. BUT the way you write about that new world gives little for the reader to imagine women acting in any other way but the cruel way, really. They strongly lack personality and the uniqueness we see in everyday people, even in stories. Yeah, there are one or two exceptions, but even those exceptions are pretty weak. And consider that I like cruel stories and had read dozens, if not hundreds, of them (not only at this site), so my opinion counts heavily. But, again, your story was roundly unidimensional and lost very strong potential with that. I mean it. I know you explained that this is just fantasy, but as I said, even for a fetish/fantasy story, that lack of some real-world considerations make your story just a very long bunch of different scenarios showing the same background, over and over and over, to the point it starts being boring after a bunch of chapters... so I stopped reading it about two chapters after the Pre-Scholler, and I just read up to there to be more sure about my opinion, 'cause I was truly going to stop before, way before. And I don't plan on reading it anymore, as I know it won't change. See it yourself: most positive reviews are just people asking for some girl/fetish/scenario. This, in a serious writer's POV, little relates to the overall story quality. It's just smut. So, if one's trying to consider your story as a true story, that one will agree that your story's doing bad. But if all your work is to be considered just an agglutinated bunch of words, those to which preteens come, jerk off a bit and go away, then well, go on, it's just that, it's already pretty clear. Ah, I don't have anything against preteens and/or other people jerking off to stories like that, as it's a fetish story. But you know what I mean.

Other (minor) problem in your story that I can relate is that, as stated before, it will lead to destruction or even extinction, it's fact and clear as water. Men are being killed at hundreds, maybe thousands per day, becoming rare. It will harshly unbalance society, and yeah, you explained some things, but it doesn't get even close of the myriad of problems that will arise of that unbalancing and further extinction of males, even with genetic re-engineering of females' bodies to let them procreate without males. Most of them will lead to human extinction, so the 'plan' Cynthia and other 'Elite' females have for a new world will just help women disappear in a way or another, like they did to men before them. It's rather irrational and pathetic, like if we women were sort of un-evolving, going back to dumb monkey stage of Evolution, despite being able to think(?) and use technology. Oh, but this story is just fetish/fantasy, it's not to be considered, or it's to be considered by the reader. Yeah, you said that, but still it's the substance that separates good stories from just long bunches of words. You're writing an actual story, aren't you? And as I said before: one is by no means obliged to relate to all and every real-world problem that would arise from a particularly pictured scenario in a fantasy story, but some main problems simply must be addressed someway, if the story is to be minimally enjoyable for more than three chapters. But there are lots of guys reading the chapters! Yeah, reading the chapters like just bunch of words, jerking off and going away to read the next when it's done and just that, or not even that. If any of them went to a debate with me about the story, I bet most of them wouldn't have mature, technically valid answers for most of the problems I'd talk about. And I could answer all of them. To serve as a little example, you reasoned (and did it fairly well) with the 'angry' member, talking about solutions to the problems he pointed out. But even your solutions don't solve most of them, AND one od your solution is worst than the problem. I stopped playing Pokémon at RuSa generation so I don't know if the pokedex explanation of species like Muk are still the same, but up to the third generation, Muk was a pokémon known not only for eating waste, but for also producing worse waste from that: by eating waste, it became toxic, malodorous, acidic, and his dejects, results of the digestion of trash, weren't good for environment at all. So you put a Pokémon to eat garbage and as a result that Pokémon brings out something that's just plainly worse. Now imagine society with ungodly loads of Grimmers and Muks trying to digest all the petatons of waste humanity produces everyday? Earth would be dammed in few decades, not only humanity, but the planet's ecosystem as a whole. Again Cynthia tried to bring new world order, just to end with a dead world.

*Sigh* I wrote a freaking lot! Are you still here? Fantastic, you're brave. You're not? Oh well...



Author's Response:

Hey, Another Reader, glad you took the time to review the story. And make no mistake, the fact it's as long and extensive as it is please's me even if there are parts I disagree with. I make it a point to never delete or ignore reviews questioned at, or in regards to things going on in stories I work on/with others on. So I take no offense to your response to the story at hand. I want to make that as perfectly clear as I can.

To start, I'm happy you enjoy the world descriptions put into this story. I have to say my cowriter, NRawk though has added more to that than I personally, and I'd offer regards to him on making it more fleshed out while I focused on other elements in the story.

As for thought-provoking responses, I'd like to think I'm pretty decent at that, though I'd offer up some of my other stories if you wanted to get more out of it. This series as a whole, really only had one purpose when I began it. And that was mostly to try out new things, concepts, and fetishes I don't dabble in as much or not often enough. I try to make it a point to force myself to write new things and instead of testing them in countless other stories, having them all in one series has proved invaluable experience-wise. That said, this story.... kind of took off in an unexpected way.

People, for the most part, all really love it. They like the themes. They like the world. They like that the characters they choose can become the next chapters they see. And of course, they like the various fetishes involved. I've only gotten a small handful of comments nitpicking certain scenes and I enjoy being able to discuss them and figure out where I went wrong or how I could have portrayed it better. All and all, I view this series as a success. I was even lucky enough to have two more writers join in on the fun. Co-writing with others is something I've done many times in the past and I always look forward to it. Seeing the different styles all in one story can be considered jarring, but I enjoy the overall way it looks and feels upon completion. Though, this series I'm afraid is far... far... FAR from that...

Which, I'll bring to your first point. I know it seems like a lot of the characters act in very OOC fashions, but there is indeed a reason for that. I'm most certainly not trying to portray all women in this series as, man-eating, soulless, women-shaped monsters. I added chapters to help reinforce that's not the case. Albeit, they are femdom/gentledom related, but they're not straight out malicious in intent. Acerola, Lillie&Lusamine, Hex Maniac, to name a few. They weren't killing. They had strong personalities. VERY strong. And I do agree from a reader's standpoint without the insight of the writer's mind, it can see what's black and white on paper and since I've failed to convey the scenario's I want to play out better.

The main reason for this, to put it simply... is because this story was never meant to be a grandiose novel. It was a way to try new things, find out what people like, and in some cases just get certain writing ideas out of my head that I didn't want to dedicate full stories I normally write to. Though that began to change when NRawk joined on board. When I saw his additions, and the rate at which this story has begun to grow I knew I needed to flush out more. More world-building, more characters introduced, and of course, more fetishes involved.

In the end, I'm trying to cater to the masses, which won't always work because everybody has different opinions and feelings, but If I focus on just one group and leave out others it can cause disinterest and a feeling of disassociation with the story since it started out one way and then took a radical turn another. I do try to add in lighter chapters from time to time to give readers with less cruel appetites something they can enjoy more but if you follow each chapter by chapter seeing a pattern, you're going to expect to keep seeing it, even if the tones change subtly the farther you dive in.

I'm not using this as an excuse mind you. I know what the majority of readers want, and that's usually what I write for. But my longwinded point is I'm not trying to make every chapter the same. But there is a theme I'm trying to keep. And If I haven't shown it off how I see it, then I'm failing to write enough to best describe it.

Unfortunately though... I just don't have the time to try and address this story as it needs. There are literally THOUSANDS of characters. THOUSANDS of scenarios you can do. And THOUSANDS of people who all like different things. Catering to as wide an audience as I can while throwing in less specific or licentious chapters here and there is my best attempt to try and please all. Which I know isn't possible, but it's the best I have with the time I have. And sometimes, that just isn't enough. The scope of this story grew when another writer joined me. And it tripled once another joined on too. I've only posted about half the chapters present, and if not for them, it wouldn't be where it is today. And at that point, I don't think the criticism would stand as much because it would seem like it's still getting off the ground. And to me, it is. I have a lot of plans and ideas I want to do in this story, and my only issue is with my time to dedicate to this series to do it.

At the moment, I have in total, 2 series commissions with 3+ chapters still in production. 4 stand-alone commissions, still queued up and in need of finishing. And 2 story trades I'm trying to finish off at the present. There's also the monthly story poll I host over on our size discord server I do free to all there which is another 5-10k story added in once a month. Or as close to that when I'm not miserably behind. In essence... If I had the time I used to have available to me now, I would flush out this series as much as I could, adding in chapter after chapter to give more characters light, and more aspects to the world I know it's truly lacking. One of which is using Cynthia, the central antagonist of sorts to the series. I have plans of showing off the world more through her eyes, but I just haven't gotten to it yet... And, it may still be some time until I do. That's just the current state of writing as of now.

To address some other stuff you've written, and forgive me if I gloss over anything not said yet. There's quite a lot there which I approve of, such as the families of shrunken victims, I get that aspect. I get mothers losing sons, daughters losing fathers. I do understand all that. But I'm deciding not to go into it because this series isn't meant for that. Each chapter is a stand-alone scenario. The over-arching plot is supposed to be shown through the central character of Cynthia which hasn't come up yet. I know some people like to see these kinds of things front and center but a lot of other people really don't. And I'm still trying to cater to as many people as I can while not ignoring people who do like those kinds of scenes.

Same with facets like the extinction of the human race. To me, the story isn't going to get to that point. I know as one of the writers where timelines diverge, even if readers don't. To put it bluntly, I'd prefer people to read it in the now. Not guess what will happen and predict something they probably won't be able to and get upset about later. There are also nods to some of these scenes in certain chapters such as the Scientist chapter NRawk wrote. I understand it's a common concept in a lot of New World Order stories, but the most I ask is patience to see if it gets that far first before pointing the finger at something that hasn't happened yet.

Hopefully, I've helped address a lot of things you mentioned. And for anything I haven't, I apologize. I also apologize for the delayed response but I figured a well-written and edited one would be more appreciated than a 30-minute rest break email off my phone.

If there was something I missed, or something I haven't chosen to reveal in a review everybody here can see, please feel free to message me again. Though I ask you use Discord instead. It's far easier to reach me on, and I can message back in a more timely fashion. I make no promises of grammar though. ^_^*


Thank you for your review.

Franchise Writer
Grimahr#0649

Reviewer: SteelPyroMantis Signed [Report This]
Date: December 04 2021 10:28 AM Title: Introduction.

Sorry for the late response. But as per your previous mention of who i'd like to see involved with Nasal Play. Just about anyone with the capacity to be playful or sadistic enough to do it would be great.

But my personal favorites are Valerie Selene(Moon) Klara Lusamine Gloria or maybe even a Team Rainbow Rocket Grunt.https://bit.ly/31ovGIN

Reviewer: ikkle Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: December 02 2021 4:12 PM Title: Introduction.

Nasal wasn’t my idea but if you were looking for ideas on it, I love when tinies get reduced to commodities, so I can imagine little guys being sold as over the counter allergy relief.  I think an ordinary girl would really hit home with what they’ve been reduced to, like a picnicker, office worker or PokeFan.  The difference between the relief she’s getting and what the tiny is experiencing would work well with your styles.

Reviewer: PlatinaKoki Signed [Report This]
Date: August 30 2021 2:48 PM Title: Introduction.

Was a bit disappointed with the Rocie chapter, but to each theit own.

 

Now, where are my girls Flannery and Phoebe?

Reviewer: SteelPyroMantis Signed [Report This]
Date: July 24 2021 10:43 AM Title: Introduction.

Wow, these are all much better than i could've expected. Not sure if you still plan on updating this, but if you get around to it some more nose play could be good. Nasal entrapment maybe even a tiny being forced to eat snot. Navel play like bellybutton entrapment is always good with micros. As for characters.. something involving the Eevee Girl from pokemon sword would be a possibility. She could claim to be an Eevee like in the games and use it as an excuse to mess with tinies or trap them in her onesie. Or you could do something involving Lana and her twin sisters, butt play and being fought over by the trio sounds possible. 



Author's Response:

We're definitely still writing for this, don't you worry. ^_^ 

There are plans in the works for both the Eevee girl and for Lana/family. Not sure when they'll be ready to post but keep your eyes peeled. 

As for your Nasel request, feel free to drop some characters you'd like to see perform the deed, and I'll see what I can do. 

 

F.W

Reviewer: Avid Reader Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 28 2021 3:13 PM Title: Erika

It's back! A new chapter in this is rare, but that makes me even happier if I come across it. I will now read it.

 

This chapter was very creative.

The idea of turning the victims into Grass Types, force them to use ingrain and then pee (and rarely spit) on them as means of both humilation and nutrition at once never even occured to me. Albeit thinking of the all-female staffed Celadon Gym should be obvious.

 

Maybe they are unwanted, but I have two ideas for man-centric chapters.

 

- A popular male trainer (Red, Gold, Steven Stone, somebody like that, who is widely renowned for his battle prowess) that just wouldn't loose and Cynthia plotting against him. Can't have a powerful man being popular with not only Males but Females alike. How unnatural.

 

- An androgynous Ace Trainer who had a terrible accident when traveling together with his (sursprisingly still loving and caring) twin sister which tragically left her dead. As he knew she would still try to protect him with all she could he did honor her wish to protect her (and may it jst be minutes) younger brother - by assuming her identity (as being female is safer for sure now) and claiming the unidentifiable deformed boulder-crushed body used to be the twin brother. So he, in his new life as a female Ace Trainer (preferable the Gen V version, gotta love this absurd braids), lives in constant fear of being found out. As he would've her PokéGear and the same gene composition he could (and probably would) engage in the whole shrinking male trainers (if it would just be for appearances) and probably feel very guilty whenever doing it. That would offer a very unique viewpoint. One could say it's like a "double agent role". Even if there is no counter agency to be aligned with.

(You really didn't like NRawkGTS' idea of an "underground resistance", didn't you?)

Without a specified storyline in mind: I still miss May and Gloria from the chapter selection.

(For Gloria Skelda Shield from the Manga may be a more interesting approach as the constantly shouting (she seems to be half-deaf) very curious about how any things (both machines and creatures) work, mechanic would probably offer a way more interesting chapter than the "angry scottish girl" Persona that the Internet applied to Gloria.

I imagine "WWWGloria" would merely beat somebody, spout a myriad of barely intelligible insults and immediately stomp her victim. Fitting for the character, but a very uninteresting read.)

Reviewer: Reidthemouseboy Signed [Report This]
Date: May 23 2021 12:47 AM Title: Erika

Valerie would be an interesting one since her gym is a literal doll house she seems like the type that keeps a collection of dolls and toys for her and her trainers to play with as stress relief.



Author's Response:

Hmm, I never really considered her gym like that before. I know she likes pretty things, and finds beauty in pokemon so there's options to have her do stuff to the trainers she beats to make them cute in her eyes. As well as the option to give her more pokemon like features since that's her dream. There's also her many fascia girls with her who would like nothing more then to make their Gym Leader happy too. So many possabilities lol. 

 

I'll look into her character and see what I can come up with. F.W

Reviewer: Avid Reader Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 02 2021 1:36 AM Title: Wicke

t's finally back! I will give you a perfect rating for that alone. (Even if not all of the chapter's contents were my thing.) You have a typo in the chapter's tags though unless the last one actually means to say "Breat Milk", but if so i want to know what that means.

 

I wonder what happened to Faba - as he used to tinker with a machine that could both shrink and grow male and females alike...

I bet he had a ... tragic accident.

"She always wondered what happened to her Psychic specialist co-worker, disappearing after meeting with the President alone, but Lusamine never elaborated more than a Misdreavus smile." - Knew it!

"He hadn’t gotten that warning, just trapped in her or another girl’s shoes, sat and farted on, or shoved up one of their filthy backdoors." That seems like plenty of warnings for Charlie, but it seems like it wasn't properly communicated as such. Also you had a typo in this sentence that I marked.

"She never had any children of her own, the closest before being Gladion and Lillie." Come to think of it. What happened to Gladion? Is he the most precious son of Lusamine? Or a possession of Lillie? Or maybe he fell into the hands of Plumeria?

So use the app to apply abilities/attacks onto everyone including the owning girls already became commonplace? Looks like our Unovan Scientist made her findings way more public than it seemed to.

Imagine having No Guard applied to you... >.>




Author's Response:

Ahaha... haha... Wh-What typo... *sweat intensifies*

Yes, it was nice to come back to this setting, there's just so much potential!

I'm sure Faba is safe(ish) wherever he ended up and Charlie wasn't the smartest.  But such are the fates of men in this new Pokémon world order, win or lose you're better off just hiding... unless you're Tate.

Though in all seriousness, most named male Trainers are 'missing' from the public eye.  Maybe in another chapter later on some of their fates will be revealed, but until then you're free to imagine whatever kind of situation you'd like them to be in lol

The knowledge of applying and using moves and abilities in and of itself was discovered fairly quickly, what the scientist was researching was if there were any differences if shrunken Trainers used them since not everyone is willing to use Self-Destruct and the likes on their new toys/meals.  Girls just have to use caution experimenting on themselves, wouldn't want to burn, freeze, poison or any of the many other horrible things one could do to themselves, so much just stick to basics :)

No Gaurd, how about Wonder Guard!  Become invincible... to most things.

 

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the story, thanks for the review! (and pointing out those typos)

Reviewer: larkpie Signed [Report This]
Date: September 20 2020 9:16 AM Title: Preschooler (Gen VII)

I heard about this story from Franchise Writer, and so took a peek, and this one's title stood out to me the most. 

The good: You did a great job of keeping her innocent, despite her actions. The thoughts and feeling she had throughout were believable for her age, especially her reaction to being told that "they'll enjoy becoming her poop". That whole bit, where she's excited to eat them, but it seems like she just means being treated to a lunch at a restaurant, all of that, the dramatic irony was fantastic. 

The room for improvement: It was a bit short, it ended up feeling the build-up was half the story. A big place that could have used much more description was the initial shrinking. Explaining the sight from both character's POVs southaven added a lot, how she went from reaching his thigh to towering over him, now barely reaching her ankle. A bit of description of one of the guards trying to escape, or the guards urging the CEO to escape while they "fend her off" would have been good display of the futility and humiliation it brought, while further hammering home her innocence, maybe with a panty shot that she didn't notice or care showing. 

Speaking of, description. We got very little for her description, would have been really good for when they first shrank. 

Finally, not to sound rude, but don't use slashes. Choose a descriptor and stick with it. But that's nitpicking.

The hope for future characters: I saw someone ask about more preschoolers of other gens, I'd put a vote there, in addition to twins, especially gen 5, and tubers. Fairy tale girls too. I'm not into too hard of sadism or snuff myself, but so long as they're innocent like this girl (bratty, bossy, demanding, etc are all fine though, so long as she is innocent) then I'll most likely love it. Am willing to expound on ideas for interactions if interested.

Best of luck with new additions!



Author's Response:

Thank you for the review, I'm really glad you liked it and thank you for the helpful critiques!

Looking back on it now I also feel this chapter was lacking particularly in comparison to other things I've written and I think I discovered why, I was impatient.  This was the last thing I wrote before writing my love letter to Gorgon from Fate/Grand Order and I wanted to get to work on it as fast as possible.  That story took almost a month to write and I can see now that effort that I should have spared for this story was directed towards Gorgon instead.  Gen VII Preschooler deserved better, but when I get around to Eevee Pokékid from Gen VIII I promise to not make the same mistake.

Reviewer: deathpenalty109 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 16 2020 12:11 PM Title: Introduction.

This is great oh and this might be a good idea. Maybe something with Red and how he views this new pokemon world. Will he try to change it or not?

Reviewer: Anotherone Signed [Report This]
Date: February 25 2020 6:49 PM Title: Introduction.

Didn't notice that it's scrolling now. I'm happy that there is yet another addition of fun with the Pokemon themselves. The Dawn chapter feels a little unintersting, but it may just be because I'm not a fan of foot stuff.

 

With the previous question about gentle stuff, now I'm curious if there might be women who actually go out, defeat male trainers, and keep them in their home to protect them. Like they wish they didn't have to do it, but the only other choice is to risk them getting beat by some girl who would treat them badly. So she's protecting them the only way she knows how, by making them her property.



Author's Response:

Not a bad idea, but that might be harder to pull off with what I have planned in the future. Although, I could picture certain individuals doing this. ;) 

Reviewer: Reidthemouseboy Signed [Report This]
Date: February 07 2020 7:01 PM Title: Rylee [Lucario]

A few chapter ideas would be. Valerie the Fairy gym leader from X and Y since she had a doll house gym. Sabrina is always good low hanging fruit. Besides gym leaders maybe a jelous girl shrinks a boy or two and just leaves them to fend for themselves in a forest. Or if a tiny got sent back in time by Celebi before the whole shrinking thing occured and either is the reason that this starts or just what happens if someone finds him when it is not a normal thing yet.



Author's Response:

I like the Celebi idea, very creative.

Reviewer: deathpenalty109 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 04 2020 4:10 PM Title: Introduction.

this is really good and i am, intrested if you can make a full blown story out of this or build more on the lore. i am incredibably intrested and i am enjoying this alot. i really feel bad for the young male trainers tho :(



Author's Response:

I plan on exploring more of the lore as I go since I find this setting and the implications of the laws and tech interesting.

It is a little unfortunate for the male trainers, but that is the point of the setting.

Reviewer: LittleRomance Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 28 2020 10:47 AM Title: Introduction.

Oh I forgot to ask in my review. 

Can I request a gentle phermosa chapter? Where the 21 year old guy gets beaten and shrunk to 4 inches but then gets saved by phermosa who takes him and is gentle and loving to him? Maybe ending in some cuddling? 

Thanks 😁🤟



Author's Response:

I'm not opposed to the idea, I just don't know that much about Pheromosa (never actually got around to catching her in Moon lol).  It might take some time.

Reviewer: LittleRomance Signed [Report This]
Date: January 28 2020 10:30 AM Title: Introduction.

Intresting Narrative...

Where the pokemon arent the monsters and they are the kind and gentle ones.

Whereas the women are the monsters who are cruel and will kill any guy for no reason....

Intresting...

Hoping for some more gentle chapters.



Author's Response:

The Pokémon's behavior is more a reflection of their trainers, like Maylene's Medicham who loves playing with and ultimately killing shrunken trainers.  But yeah, have more gentle chapters is something I plan on incorporating in the future.

Reviewer: Foxinbox Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: January 27 2020 11:41 PM Title: Rylee [Lucario]

This was a nice addition to rylee's story, lots of wholesomeness here its really nice

good job



Author's Response:

Thanks, glad you liked it!

She is a good girl :D

Reviewer: Storysmith Signed [Report This]
Date: December 25 2019 12:37 AM Title: Introduction.

Ah a lovely Christmas present u guys dropped for us here

Author's Response:

Glad you liked it!

You must login (register) to review.