Date: August 19 2019 4:46 PM Title: Maggie and Kate
I saw your name and just had to give this story a read. It's excellent that you decided to take the leap and write a story of your very own! I'm certain that you are going to enjoy it, and hope that your skills as a writer continue to develop.
First thing: The formatting system on this site is less than stellar, so my reccommendation to you is this. Create a google account and create a Google Doc inside your Google Drive where you can write this story off-site. This will be helpful for several reasons. First, it will prevent you from losing a ton of progress if a chapter doesnt get uploaded properly. Second, Google Docs has proper spell checking and grammar checking tools that will help you improve the quality and learn the way that traditional english writers/speakers expect to see things.
Now, onto the story itself. I think you have already managed to create a very likeable protagonist, and I'm eager to get to know the variety of sisters. It seems like they ware going to have very different personalities and I LOVE that dynamic.
Overall, I cant wait to see how this story develops, and good on you for having the courage to write a story in a secondary language. Keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you! Know that seeing you create the world of Losing Control was one factor responsible for this courage and I am very glad you liked what I did so far. It's just the begginig, and the first chapter was, quite literraly, a stream of inspiration that hit me on sunday night. Now, I am working out what can be done. Many ideas that need organization. I hope to keep updating frequently, as I have a fairly good idea about this first part of the story.
Again, thank you for the advise and support!
Date: August 19 2019 7:41 AM Title: Jake and Janine
This will be a nice read, I´m sure! The character introduction of Janine is very powerful and I already love to hate her!
Also the protagonist Jake seems to be someone being used to harder conditions. Can´t wait to see the class difference between the two also reflected in their sizes.
You should do a proof-reading and check for spelling-mistakes, but other than that it is very well-written!
Author's Response:
You are right on the spot about Jake. I am trying to organize my thoughts, but I can asure you there is a very good reason for this early introduction of Janine. Many ideas for her and the other chracters. Please, stay tunned and many thaks for the support and tips! You are great!