[Report This]Date: September 22 2019 1:18 AM Title: Chapter 1: Just The Beginning
Holy fuck! I'm so loving this story so far!
[Report This]Date: August 25 2019 9:25 AM Title: Chapter 1: Just The Beginning
I think the short chapters help give you choices/inspire you to write more. It looks like it's going to be a very ambitious story with a lot of routes. If you haven't already try to keep some kind of record of how the story is branching out.
My only criticism is it seems a little rushed in places, with the level of description dropping off and just kind of bouncing back and forth between dialogue/character names. Not a huge deal.
Character descriptions are ok, I'll look into this again later!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback. I've also noticed how its inconsistent at times and I really hope to change it. Since I'm a new author I'm still trying to key in my writing style and I feel like I've finally got an idea of what I want it to be. Also I have a little flow chart that gives me a nice idea of how I want the story to be. I'll try to make this a more consistent and enjoyable story to read. Thanks for your review :D
Date: July 13 2019 3:28 PM Title: Chapter 1: Just The Beginning
Interesting so far. Not a lot to comment about on only the first chapter, but looking forwards to see where this goes! (P.S. huge fan of foot odour stuff haha)
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review and your in luck because I'm also a huge fan of foot odor. Stay tuned because there'll be more of that in the future
Date: July 12 2019 4:21 AM Title: Chapter 1: Just The Beginning
Really looking forward to this story, especially the unaware foot component.
Author's Response:
Since this is my first story I really appreciate the feed back and don't worry the first few chapters and maybe some later chapters will be 100% unaware