Date: May 22 2019 10:34 PM Title: ACT II: Comment j'ai récupéré
I love how you convey the scale of Merphomenee and her palace. The humans seem quite insignificant and helpless. I also like how the goddess alternates between playful and dangerous. She's quite unpredictable and terrifying.
(Oh, also the Tolkien fan in me got a kick out of the reference to mithril.)
Author's Response: Thanks for the response! I hope that my readers will catch all the literary and classical allusions in the story.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2019 6:44 PM Title: ACT II: Comment j'ai récupéré
Another great chapter full of great descriptions and details. It’s very refreshing compared to other stuff on the site. You do a great job at describing Merphomenee as a truly terrifying entity. A force of nature in her own right, one that a lone person cannot hope to fight. The Goddess of Tragedy...yikes. They way she treats the Princess is very interesting, it keeps the reader guessing. I feel very bad for her. She isn't the first princess that Merphomenee has befriended, and she turned Renias home to dust and broke her spirit. She clearly doesn't see humans as anything special. And I’m interested to see what she meant by “...her nature…” and excited to see where this will go.
Also, some other feedback; maybe a little more space from paragraph to paragraph. I’m invested in this story but at a glance I can see how a new reader might be a little intimidated by walls of text. Anyway, great job, looking forward to the rest.
Author's Response: Vibrant description and setting are very important to me as a writer and well-rounded characters who exist as more than just sex objects are too! Hopefully the remaining chapters will explain any lingering questions which tantalize at the moment. I admit that my writing is often dense, so I will experiment with spacing the passages and see if that helps!
Date: May 19 2019 3:09 PM Title: ACT II: Comment j'ai récupéré
Dear Sir/Madam,
regarding your last response, it definitely was not a mistake to post the story here, at the very least you satiated one reader's desire for something entirely different. As a fantasy genres enthusiast, I highly value immersive worlds and multi-dimensional characters one can relate to (though the latter should be present no matter the genres).
Your writing style requires some attention, so The Tragedienne is not the easiest read, however should one be willing to give it a chance, they will be greatly rewarded.
Yours faithfully,
C
Ps. As the story transcends what we came to expect from GTS stories, it should be reflected in the grading, hence 11/10.
Author's Response: You really are too kind! I can only hope that the next chapters continue to meet your expectations!