Date: February 17 2022 10:50 PM Title: Chapter 1: Presence on the Platform
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ALIVE! It actually took me a couple of second to recognise the story from the chapter blurb. Can't wait to read this new chapter.
Author's Response:
Yep it's been a while, i hope you enjoy
[Report This]Date: February 17 2022 10:24 PM Title: Chapter 1: Presence on the Platform
Wow! I apparently missed this story when you were first writing it! I absolutely love it! I love how bold she is and I love the size difference between them! Even the mere act of rolling over in bed is too much for him to handle! I like that you are teasing the more dominant side of her in the these chapters. I loved how she straddled him and tried to ride him and I loved your description of her foot going up his back and her toes on the back of his head before she shoved his face down. This is one of my favorite stories I’ve read! I hope you continue with it! I would love to see more action and raunchiness that she is clearly very capable of. Great story so far!
Author's Response:
I'm glad that you're able to enjoy my story, i always love to hear that people are enjoying it
Date: March 02 2020 7:14 PM Title: Chapter 13: Glimpse
Why would he ever be disgusted or repulsed at the site between her legs. Isn't that the greatest site on earth?
Can't wait to see her use him as her pony, if he is up for the position.
Author's Response:
Well he absolutely detests her even if she is beautiful he wants nothing to do with her
Also he is not ;P
Date: February 28 2020 9:16 PM Title: Chapter 13: Glimpse
OK, how can being Her pony not be his ultimate position beneath her, unless being her leashed dog is her desire?
Author's Response:
I don't think she's ever going to be settled or satisfied on one thing. Except seeing him as beneath her general
[Report This]Date: February 26 2020 10:03 PM Title: Chapter 13: Glimpse
I think she should climb on his shoulders from the front, so that way her crotch is right against his face.
And since he can’t see with her vagina in his face, he falls over and she ends up squeezing his head between his legs.
I can’t wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I love ot hear when people have ideas how certain scenarios might play out with her. It's like my imagination inspires your own and vice versa.
nevertheless i love to hear and be inspired on what you guys think and possibly want. The story will always continue in the direction i think it needs to be in, but i love hearing from you all
Date: February 25 2020 10:39 AM Title: Chapter 13: Glimpse
To be honest I was surprised when the "ride" turned out to be something other than pony riding, now the world is balanced again.
And since somehow this is my first comment here: this story is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!
Author's Response:
With her i like her to be somewhat unconventional and unpredicatble as part of her nature. What you think is coming might not be at all.
Also thanks for you review, it always nice to hear people are enjoying my work even if it is their first time commenting
[Report This]Date: January 25 2020 1:06 AM Title: Chapter 12: Dog
I absolute love your story I cant wait to read more please continue.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I am always so glad when people tell me they find enjoyment in my little passion project. The kind words really help with motivation to know someone out there is liking reading it.
Sorry it has been so long getting back to this reply and updating the story!
Date: December 28 2019 8:42 PM Title: Chapter 12: Dog
I realize you have other plans for him, or that she does; but being her well trained dog would be nice.
The way she stood and walked over him was hot. More scenarios like that would be great. Stepping down on his head is definitely a terrific power play.
His sudden compliance is understandable, especially if out of fear; but has she broken him already? A reluctant dog on the end of her leash would be a nice lifestyle for your story to take; but you've done a great job just doing your story as you have been.
Author's Response:
Thank you! The goal is to make her somewhat of a mystery, to expect the unexpected. She's never satified doing the one thing
I definetly enjoy the expreience of writting how she stands above him, it's a subtle thing really as it's their heights but i feel it conveys so much difference between them and is excellent and demonstrating power. Her height over him will always be a feature of this story and i'm glad you enjoy a part some people might see as minor but integeral to part of the world and atompshere i'm building for the protagonist/
There are more twists and turns, he has his defeated or play along moments, but i can tell you his motivation to be away from her will not change so quickly, it's that achiving that goal is a hard task
[Report This]Date: December 28 2019 3:23 AM Title: Chapter 12: Dog
Just read all 12 chapters. You have a way with building sexual tension, especially the first 3 chapters when both of them are on the train.
What drew me into the story was how this woman just casually dominated him by throwing her weight around. It could be her arm, leg or even back, she uses every part of her body to control this guy which I love.
The scene where she leans back against him, pinning him to the window was fantastic. He literally couldn’t move. In addition, I like how she used her legs as barriers such as the scene where she used a leg as a gate.
I believe this is your strength. The details and creativity of how this woman is able to control this guy with such simple acts. The key seems to that she has to put minimal effort, but this guy struggles constantly, and still fails.
The mental game with her was good too, but it just made me anxious to see her again, so I’m glad she showed up for dinner.
The dinner scene felt out of character for her. On the train, she was calm and collected, confident in all her decisions. To see her mad, as frightening as it may be, feels off somehow. Maybe it was just to scare him, but I think it might be better to scare him with her body and not with the tone of her voice.
The story is paced a little slower than I expected, but I appreciate the detail to each scene. Part of me feels like they talked too much during dinner. Maybe I’m just anxious for her to physically manhandle him.
Anyway, overall this is a great story and I can’t wait for the next chapter!
(Also, are you going to update your other story “Used”? That cliffhanger was very sexy and I would love to see more.)
Author's Response:
Okay a fair bit to unpack here and i will address all of it. First off sorry for the delay, i always appreciate feedback but am the worst at responding to it
Thanks for the compliments, what you've outlined as my strengths i certainly feel are like they are, Building sexual tension as well as minor yet huge displays of the power dynamic between them is often where i find myself coming to life writing the story. This probably at times can also be a slow burn with as you said 'it's a little slower paced than i expected' but you understand why, i feel with the atmosphere i'm trying to create in this story attention to detail is key, and detail is very important for explaining the heart of the power dynamics.
Dinner was out of charcter and i will own that. I feel at the time of writing her charcter somewhat veered away from my original vision. She became more antagonistic but not in the way i wanted. I wanted the subtle acts to be the driving forces of the story. I felt like it was important that she say things, but i ended up writing to much dialogue and she seemed to shout and yell her charcter rather than it by shown with correct story telling. Looking back she turned more into a anime villain with the overuse of dialogue. This isn't the direction i wanted to take and have hoped since then i've made changes to get 'her' charcter back on track. I don't know why i veered of course with the dinner chapters, but i don't enjoy reading them back compared to others, however they're established in the story now. I'm also not saying i won't silence the charcter, i just don't want to force unnatural dialogue from her that seems out of place and breaks the reading experience.
I will admit that dialogue is not my strong suite when it comes to writing, you're good and positive feedback both outline my strengths and weaknesses perfectly and you've hit the nail on the head really.
Still i'm glad you enjoy it and i appreciate the feedback. "Used" at this point is a retired project. I found myself writing that one on a weekend of just passion writting, when it came time to continue it rather than end the story the writing became a chore rather than passion. 'The Train' always has a special place to me, and i'm always thinking about where to take it next, even after a year of no updates i was always thinking about it's direction. 'Used' had it's time, but it really was a weekend of passion writing rather than a continuous adventure. It ran over its duration and i should have ended it and not continued it. However no i belive it's ended, i don't have a desire to return to it. But i will also never rule it out, maybe one day when the time is right i will go back and either continue it or rewrite the whole thing
[Report This]Date: December 27 2019 4:49 PM Title: Chapter 12: Dog
nice story good writing can't wait to read more
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Date: November 10 2019 7:30 PM Title: Chapter 11: Served
Your note at the end states you are not happy with the dialogue of this chapter; I found the dialogue quite appropriate. He doesn't know what to say to change his situation and she has already decided upon the outcome she wants. Pretty much how such an uncomfortable conversation would probably go.
I especially like her statement “You know I was looking forward to introducing you around my house the other day”. Does she have a house full of "servants"? Are any as small as he is, normal size, or perhaps even smaller than him? Do they all serve as servants, or are some human furniture such as her seat cushions, foot rests, pets, or possibly wall decorations?
I can only hope she is done playing with him, packs him up, tosses him into her car trunk, takes him back to her house, and gives him the tour of her home while explaining how she is going to transform him into her "personal servant".
Can't wait to see what happens next. Will she break him, or will he change his mind and see her as the controlling Dominatrix he adores yet has refused to admit / submit to?
Author's Response:
I thought i perhaps had gone over the top with the dialogue. I often actually cut her back as i end up writting her saying so much she sounds like a villian going on a monologue. Don't get me wrong i want her to be a mean villian type rather than an antagonist, but i'm trying not to have her get ranty or over dramatic. Sometimes simple and straight to the point is more her style, and can demonstrate how few words can be so menacingly and direct compared to a speech.
As for what's going on next, you'll just have to wait and see
[Report This]Date: November 02 2019 10:21 PM Title: Chapter 10: Dinner Date
I really like where this is going. You are doing a great job building up the tension for them. Having him save himself on the train fruitlessly really did a great job of escalting the circumstances and now that she's here seeing the squalor he live in and taking away his last safe haven I just cant wait to see whst comes next. Whether its her first moment of genuine mercy or sympathy or his final and complete surrender to her it will be momentus. Really curious to see whats going on with her fb relationship as well as why she has such a twisted thing for small guys. I am ok with rooting for him and having you play with my emotions all throughout this story its really immersive actually lol.
Author's Response:
Thanks, i'm glad to hear you're enjoying it. i was hoping it would be a little immersive writting from first person
[Report This]Date: October 31 2019 9:32 PM Title: Chapter 10: Dinner Date
Damn. I wasn't sure at the start of the story. She is so abrasive. Now though it feels like she is lonely because of a situation if some kind.
Almost like she's wanting to force him into a relationship. Not sure she has had sex before either.
Looking it more as it goes on. Definitely plenty of intrigue.
Author's Response:
A lot more will be explained as it goes on
Thanks for the interest
Date: October 30 2019 8:29 PM Title: Chapter 10: Dinner Date
It's nice that she has reverted back to being, in lack of other terms, a mean bitch.
Author's Response:
What she excells at
Date: October 30 2019 4:12 PM Title: Chapter 10: Dinner Date
I can't wait to the humiliation she is about to subject him too. I'm aroused at the prospect of what she is going to do to him with that large beautiful frame of hers.
Author's Response:
You'll see
Date: October 30 2019 7:00 AM Title: Chapter 10: Dinner Date
me ha encantado el capitulo, la historia en general es fantastica, ojala llegue pronto proximos capitulos, y el grado de dominación y humillacion vaya subiendo.Gracias por hacer feliz a tus lectores
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading it and supporting me!
Date: October 19 2019 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 9: Found
I'm glad she found him again, but what will she do with him now that she has?
Some very minor spelling errors, yet still one of the most intrigueing stories being posted. Please do continue.
Author's Response:
Sorry about the spelling errors, i'm taking a bit more time to proof read chapters now.
As for what happens next, you'll have to wait and see
Date: October 14 2019 10:17 AM Title: Chapter 1: Presence on the Platform
Would love to see more of this soon!
Author's Response:
Just going over some stuff, but new chapters will drop soon
Date: August 24 2019 7:32 PM Title: Chapter 7: Houdini
Glad to see you have found the direction in which you want to take this story. I love seeing the power dynamics between two people of this size and seeing the tall girl have this kind of personality of always trying to force her superiority onto the smaller guy. Loved the scene with her just collapsing on him and using nothing but her weight to pin him and seeing him in an enormous amount of pain. I have a foot fetish so if you could include a little bit of trampling I would be greatly appreciative. If not then don't worry, I'll still enjoy the story regardless.
Author's Response:
Thanks, i'm glad to hear you're enjoying it. Stay tuned there may be foot stuff in the future
Date: March 29 2019 12:32 PM Title: Chapter 1: Presence on the Platform
I love this story. It's simply amazing! Your writing skills are excellent. I have two questions though: 1) Will you reveal the exact height of the tall girl? 2) Is she younger or older than him or are they around the same age? Or will you reveal that later as well?
Author's Response:
Sorry on the late reply, first off She is around 6'8 or 6'7, i thought i explained her height in the prologue. As for their ages, they're both around their mid twenties