[Report This]Date: December 22 2018 5:14 AM Title: Prologue
I like this. It's very different from my style, but it reads very smoothly. I wonder what Lynn will do, given her new situation. You've good at being implicit when describing her beauty. You don't use a lot of words to describe her, but I can get a good picture of what she looks like. My only advice is that you give Lynn some kind of challenge, something she would have difficulty doing at her size. But overall, I really enjoyed this.
Best of luck,
Ace
Author's Response:
Hello and thanks for the feedback! I was a bit nervous if my writing style is.... well.... terrible. But to my joy, everybody's been enjoying it. At leasr that's what I think. I'll try to keep doing my best :)
Date: December 21 2018 11:20 AM Title: The insect's point of view
I find this story to be interesting and relevant to my interests, so I hope you maintain the motivation and inspiration to continue. I like fantasy stories with cute characters, which is hard to find on English GTS fiction sites.
Even though Lynn is a giga giantess, being that she isn't mortal, she doesn't necessarily need to be constrained by the idea the microscopic denizens of the mortal realm are fully beneath her notice. Would make sense that the elder goddesses would have lessons and developments for how they could interact with mortals, and Lynn being young and inexperienced, would probably have to figure some of this out on her own in a cute, makeshift sort of fashion with some destructive oopsies along the way.
Based on the story categories and your profile, I don't know exactly what you have in mind for future chapters or what kind of fetishes you're trying to fulfil. Like if the purpose of this story is to simply satisfy a gentle-destructive fetish where Lynn cutely destroys the mortals, or one where she'll learn and grow into her new role with some of the mortals winding up as recurring characters that she interacts with. The latter would turn the world into a vast diorama with all sorts of entertainment to be had and scenarios she wants them to recreate for her that might, or might not, be based on reality in the form of handsome princes slaying dragons and Lynn becoming sexually interested in one of them without understanding the beating of her heart and the heat in her loins; she is the goddess of innocence after all.
In any case, are you writing this with a keyboard or a smartphone? The spelling and grammar mistakes make me think you're writing this all in a single pass, which is probably for the best since the narrative flow doesn't really suffer from it.
Author's Response:
Whoa! Thanks for the amazing response!
Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise hehe :P
This is my first story that I have submitted here and also the first story that I have ever written about the subject so there are a lot of mistakes than I would like to admit in my work and for that I'm sorry. Writing this on my smartphone. I think up something at night before I sleep where I feel more imaginative and rush to type it here in the morning where I feel most inspired. So again, thank you for your kind words kind stranger and I hope you stay and watch this story flesh out more <3.
Date: December 21 2018 4:38 AM Title: Prologue
Sorry not very clear, basically Lynn with the best of intentions and the least of her powers begins to make world altering changes.
Lynn notices babies are beautiful, the love invested in most inspires awe even in a goddess like her, so why do women baring such beauty into the world endure so much pain and die so often with the wonderful children. Lynn as a goddess needs to fix this, so she makes women larger and stronger so they can have their children without risk to them or themselves and bringiing such joy into the world should be a joy so...
Also Lynn would find it completely unfair that some have difficulty have progeny so she may amp up male and female fertility, making women even larger and stronger as well as men.
The humans she benefits know it's her and worship her alone, their children follow (and for some unknown reason there is an ever going baby boom) causing Lynn to grow ever more powerful and dominate over the other goddesses. Causing women to be even more gently dominate over men, causing humanity to be even more dominate over nature. A postive feedback loop for all involved.
Basically a good natured,gentle, kind goddess who lacks forsight and 'fixes' problems without regard to the follow on issues she causes and only gets more powerful because of her acts of 'compassion' leading to further acts and becoming even more powerful.
Hope that clears things up a bit. Thank you.
[Report This]Date: December 21 2018 12:03 AM Title: The insect's point of view
Not exactly and 'all-knowing' goddess, hope she stays gentle, maybe take an intrest in women issues (child raising, baring, pain of brith) and fix those while helping her 'children' as a whole. Don't mind the inadverent crush, but would enjoy a kind interaction with her worshipers. Thank you.
Author's Response:
Ummm... not sure by what you mean but there definitely is going to be some gentle in this story! Thank you for your feedback and I hope you stay tuned :)
Date: December 20 2018 2:54 AM Title: Prologue
Really liking this concept so far! Looking forward to seeing where this story goes. :)
Author's Response: Glad to see a fellow Bob enjoying this! Stay tuned!
Date: December 18 2018 3:16 PM Title: Prologue
Quite a lot of directions this story could go in: foot fetish, gentle, unaware, etc.
Looking forward to it!
Author's Response: Glad to see someone enjoying this! Hope that whatever direction I think of is to your liking!