Date: May 04 2019 8:24 PM Title: The Second Visit
I kind of guessed a third of the way through chapter 1 that Samantha was actually Sam's mother, which honestly is, well a turn off. When that was varified at the end of chapter 1, I was reluctant to continue reading this story line.
However, I found your writing and your descriptions very intriguing, so in my mind I looked at Samantha as Sam's Step-Mother. When you wrote that Samantha is in fact Sam's Step-Mother in chapter 2 of your story the fantasy became much more, shall I say acceptable.
In fact, it is reminiscent of "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" with Missy {Amy Stoch} as the stepmom. You never described Samantha / Debbie in too much detail, but Amy Stoch would be a good basis for her. Then again, so would a lot of women now that she has been defined as Sam's stepmother.
This is really quite a great story. You mention the technology, yet not in such as degree the story is bogged down by it. Your foreshadowing is great and leaves the reader guessing. Best of all is your story content, which is top notch.
Please keep this story going.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad you enjoyed it! I guessed some people could be turned away by the “mother” implications, however I felt if I started with “it’s his step mum” people would just go “Oh I see where that’s going”. I’ll be writing my other stories for a bit, but I’ll come back to these characters one day.
[Report This]Date: January 23 2019 1:10 PM Title: The Second Visit
Noice xD
Date: January 23 2019 2:31 AM Title: The Second Visit
This was my favourite story back when I first read it, really glad it isn't a one off :D
Author's Response: Always happy to hear when someone enjoys my writing. There are two more chapters to go before I call this arc done. I may revisit the characters again after that but not before I write something else.