Date: March 18 2019 11:50 AM Title: Chapter Nineteen
I saw you had posted a new chapter last night but I was too sick out of my mind to read it until now lol. But man, I’m really wanting to see a spin off with Paige after this story is over! I love her mean streak and would love to see how her story would go if you do choose to go that route. Excited to see how this one goes first tho!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the read and the review~ Your excitement is always encouraging.
Date: March 05 2019 7:02 AM Title: Chapter Eighteen
@DSG, this story /is/ a thriller. It legit has me reading the chapters so urgently because of the suspense it has me in. And this is coming from a guy who comes to this site only for the fetish side of stories. This story has me so wrapped into the story that it’s insane. If you go into stories (especially crime thrillers) expecting perfectness, you’re gonna be disappointed most (if not all) of the time. Even a movie I view as near perfect (The Dark Knight), I can admit it has quite a few flaws in the story (namely, the Joker’s plan relies on a lot of luck). To bash a story as much as you have just cuz there’s a bit of plot armor on the main character is just crazy.
And it also blows my mind that you say CurseCrazy hasn’t “shown” that Melanie is cute (which I assume you mean personality wise and not physical). It’s actually blown me away how much character CC has put into this story with every single character but especially with Melanie. The way she stutters around everyone even her roommate who she lives with and especially with Adrian who is her biggest crush of all, the way she’s shy and awkward in social interactions. These are attributes that a lot of people find “cute”. You may not (I’m curious what attributes you find cute and how you’d prefer them being presented in stories tbh), but that doesn’t mean that the Melanie character isn’t written well or fleshed out. This might not be my top favorite story of all time on this site but it’s definitely the best written one by far imo.
Date: March 05 2019 2:01 AM Title: Chapter One
@Saf To an extent I get what you are saying, but I agree with CurseCrazy in that the distinction that this is an adult website for adults is not clear enough. Honestly I have not thought much about this being an "adult" website until reading the comments here, I always just thought of it as a website for stories that feature people of differing sizes, and I know many others who do as well. The lack of many warnings and the inclusion of what seems like a child inclusive rating system (G, PG, R, such) does not help the website in this regard.
At the same time I disagree with the notion that a story that is posted here is inherently "adult," but since the author says the story should be read as such at all times, this one is inherently adult. However, being an adult story does not mean that it is not breaking rules when it breaks the rules of prose or storytelling, as I already discussed in my last comment.
But if crafting a compelling narrative or well written is not the intent, then there is not much more for me to say. In the end we should be writing for ourselves either way, so there's no harm, I just mistook the story as attempting to be something of a thriller since it had a lot of the bones of one.
@CurseCrayCray, oh and I am pretty sure you have referred to Mel as cute in-story before, which is why I brought it up. I think this is example of yourself sorta entering the story a bit too much, which can be distracting and pull the reader out, which one generally does not want to do when writing erotica, especially fantastical erotica. Again though, if that is by design then that is fine, but it seems like you were aware you were doing this.
Author's Response:
Using ctrl+f pulls up 40 instances of the word "cute," but none have been used to describe Melanie or her actions. That would be consistent with the audience opinion that Melanie, generally speaking, isn't considered cute. So if there is any place where I've referred to Melanie as cute in-story, maybe I used a different adjective, then... my bad! I still don't think I've made that error, but if it's there, that's definitely a mistake. I know fully that Melanie isn't conventionally attractive, so it isn't my intent to contradict that in the story. I just think that what makes Melanie cute to me are many of the things people find ugly about her, haha.
[Report This]Date: March 04 2019 6:45 PM Title: Chapter Eighteen
Poor Nicky but at least Juniper seems the safer of the rescue options at the moment but you have to feel for the tiny people and their luck this chapter.
Not horrible but not exactly inspiring for their futures.
Author's Response:
Hopefully their luck turns around soon! Juniper and Paige are kind of wild cards, so who knows what lies ahead? Thank you for the positive review~
Date: March 04 2019 2:38 AM Title: Chapter Eighteen
Man I legit never click on anything faster than when you post a new chapter! I have it set for it to send me a notification each time you post a new one. I so can’t wait for each and every new chapter! I’m so intrigued on where this story is going!! The torture of Bradz was honestly one of my favorite parts of this story (second only to Candy being swallowed)! Hope the next chapter isn’t as long as a wait as this one but even if it is, I’m sure it’ll be just as perfect as this one!!
Author's Response:
So much energy in this review, I love it! Thank you for such encouraging words. This chapter was a little late, heh. It was a little on the longer side, and I was debating for awhile just how to divide up these final few chapters. I didn't want it to run on for so long, but I really couldn't feel any better alternatives. I was also sick for a couple days, which didn't help. At all. But I'm glad you enjoyed it enough that one of the scenes could be heralded as a favorite! I didn't expect that from this chapter, of all chapters, to be honest... Well, as always, thanks for the review! (And if you live in the states, then... sorry for these 1 am notifications! My schedule is pretty funny in that regard...)
Date: February 20 2019 10:26 AM Title: Chapter One
@DarkStarGoddess I mean. This is primarily kink/fetish website, period. If you come here looking for other types of content, that's on you. If by "younger people," you mean minors, they shouldn't be here. This website has blatantly pedophilic rape porn stories. While I realize minors are gonna come on here anyway because that's what they do, a site with content like this shouldn't be made out to be anything other than what it is: a fetish site.
Date: February 14 2019 4:19 AM Title: Chapter One
I really wish this website had better communication features, it would be interesting to discuss writing with some of the reviewers here, but the medium does not make for stimulating discussion or civilized conversation, the medium of these reviews makes comments seem more bold and confrontational than they probably are. I say this because I am not calling anyone out with this review, I am just thinking out loud because it is late and I am having trouble sleeping.
One comment I want to make is on what Saf has said; the author having a specific kink does not mean they are immune to bad writing. I would not say it is bad art since art is very subjective and personal to the creator, but writing prose generally has rules and general guidelines to follow in order to achieve maximum effectiveness. You can't say breaking the rules is not breaking the rules because it makes your peepee hard.
But contrivance, when used to such a massive degree as it is done in this story is a writing flaw, and it is not one you can fault readers for being annoyed at.
I see down below the author and Ghostwriter talked about how Plot Armor (contrivance) is mandated for a story like this, and I wholeheartedly disagree: having to fall back on contrivance means that the story has not been fleshed out enough to allow for a better reasoning for the events happening, or the author lacks the writing skills to pull off the idea. It is a lazy writing tool; now, a little here and there might not be so bad, as the author claims, but saying a little is used in this story is flat out false, it is used heavily in this story, more than many I have seen.
Contrivance basically punishes the reader for caring about the story. It creates unsatisfying payoffs, and when used repeatedly it makes the reader feel like they are wasting their time. Of course, if the contrivances make for better jerk off material it can be ignored by those jerking off to it, but that does not mean it is still a storytelling flaw.
That leads me into my second point on Saf's comment, I do not think it is entirely fair to say that people can not judge a story because it might be used as jerk off material for some. I do not believe that a story being posted to this website inherently makes it sexual, and there are a number of younger readers who come here, as well as readers who come here because they enjoy sized themed fiction despite not having sexual interest, such as myself as an asexual female. I and others like me are as much a part of this website as anyone else, as much as the GTS community is designed to serve hetero male fantasies, but that is not an argument for now.
Now I am not saying the story is bad or anyone who likes it is bad or the author is bad with this comment, but it is incorrect to say that using contrivance in this way is not bad writing.
Another comment I want to make, and this one is more addressed at the author, is about how the audience perceives Mel: you do not show her as cute. Like, at all. You directly TELL us she is cute, but... who are you? You are not in the story. The story does not have anything redeeming for her. I might have mentioned this before, I forget, but this is super cliche but SHOW DON'T TELL. Telling is Mel is cute is lazy, showing us her cute actions or characters reacting to cuteness. I fall into this trap too I think everyone does, but it would help if that is what you want.
It could be that your idea of cute and what most people think as cute are at odds too, possibly.
There is also the possible issue that you have inserted yourself too much into the story and it is blocking the reader's view of the story, but that is a conversation for a different time.
Anyways I am just thinking out loud after reading the recent reviews, no one take anything personally, hope all the best for the story.
Author's Response:
When I say Melanie is cute, I do indeed say that with a knowing, smug grin on my face, the fact that most people would, in fact, not consider Melanie cute. When I blatantly tell reviewers that Melanie is cute, I do so half-jokingly, understanding that to someone who isn't interested in the creepy aesthetic of dark, haunting women like I am, Melanie would probably come off as gross, horrid, unlikeable. I've never been bashful to admit, even from the very beginning, that Melanie was designed for me, with my interests in my mind. Furthermore, I do defend myself from the "show, don't tell" writing critique: my responses to reviews are not part of the Endless canon, and shouldn't reflect the quality of the writing. In-story, I have not referred to Melanie as explicitly cute -- unless I'm totally blanking out on a stray comment I made about her! I don't think I am, especially since I've had it in mind that "cuteness" and the identification of cuteness is a running theme. It hasn't really been coincidence that so often I've used the phrase "cute girl" in regards to how Melanie views people around her.
I think the note I'll leave this response on, as it extends to the rest of the topics brought up too, is that my endgoal here is to share the story that's in my heart, the way I invision it, and express that story with the size community as best to my abilities. There are going to be elements many don't like or understand or sympathize with, elements that do break the immersion if read as a casual story, but my hope is that those flaws would be forgiven as they're somewhat necessary evils for what is... ultimately, my erotic giantess fantasy, where much of the erotic and fantasy comes from aspects that don't make for a bestseller. I'm rambling, but I hope what I'm saying is understood. For my erotic giantess-shrinking yandere fantasy story to exist as it does in my heart, and for that to be expressed purely, there will have to be plot armor. My heart demands it, go talk to it.
I will also mention this, as it did come up and I'd like to make a statement: I do not support "younger audiences" reading this story. I don't think this website makes this distinction clear enough, especially considering the legitimately disturbing synopsises of stories listed here and what that says of this ragtag community, but this story is purely for audiences 18 and older. To tie this back into the discussion earlier, it's not been my intention, ever, for this story to be read and critically acclaimed by a wide audience. Although my writing is, allegedly, good enough to make an engaging story, I've not committed to writing it with making a literary masterpiece. It is an erotic adult story and should be read as such at all times, even if there's more emotion and drama behind it than the usual erotic novel.
Thank you for the readership and the review! I know I don't respond to reviews until I push out a new chapter, but this provoked some thoughts from me that I didn't want to lose. For anyone curious, the next chapter is coming! It is. Delays have certainly come up but I promise the next chapter will be out very soon! Thank you thank you for your patience~
(Also, just so everyone is clear, Melanie is cute, everyone else just has bad taste.)
[Report This]Date: January 16 2019 9:08 PM Title: Chapter Seventeen
Oh what a fun chapter. Melanie did slip, but will it actually cost her? So far she really hasn't had to work too hard to get out of tough situations.
Can't wait to see what paiges involvement will be. Great story keep it up!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review! I hope the story continues to entertain you as the twists unravel!
Date: January 16 2019 4:36 AM Title: Chapter One
Great story! I'm loving every chapter so far! The dialogues are quite beyond what we are used to and makes you want to enter the story.
P.S: Do I see a fan of JackSmith's 'Julia' here? The plot has many similarities. If so, exceptional reference!
Author's Response:
Ah, it warms my heart to see an appreciation for the dialogue. With a story like this, hearing their thoughts aloud has a lot of impact, and making enticing conversations is important. I'm sure there's... some chats in Endless that are unnecessary, I could probably have skimmed those, but I'm glad you've enjoyed them!
Unfortunately I don't know a Jack Smith or a Julia! Perhaps it's worth it for me to check it out? Thank you for the review nonetheless~
[Report This]Date: January 14 2019 2:57 AM Title: Chapter Seventeen
Another great chapter. The debate between the captives, the scene with Melanie and Chloe, and the capture of the professor were all really well done. I'm curious what's going to happen with Paige; I'd been expecting both her and the professor to be shrunken by the end of the chapter.
Comments like this make me wonder what kind of visual people have for Melanie in their mind. Perhaps the ugliness of her nature sticks with folks and represents itself in that way.
There's that, and also I think we take cues from how the other characters view her, especially before they find out her secret. As far as I can remember they always see her as either bland or off-putting.
Author's Response:
Indeed, indeed, other characters aren't too charitable in how they see Melanie. But you can take my word: Melanie is actually adorable, eye bags and obsessiveness included! Those are features, not flaws.
It's pleasant to see you enjoyed so many scenes. I sometimes wonder if the less-giantess related content flows well with people, like the debate in the bag. Necessary scenes for sure, but I worry they drag on too much for an audience likely more interested in the giant women parts. But I've made it this far dragging my feet, I guess I haven't done anything too awful yet.
Thank you thank you for the review~
[Report This]Date: January 13 2019 7:46 PM Title: Chapter Seventeen
Damn, Adrian's turn towards the darker side is a bit of a fun twist but I trust her judgement on this one. Bradz is kind of a bitch so while bad its not too bad like most of the others.
The Paige curveball though I am most interested in.
Author's Response:
I hope Paige can prove to be an interesting new element in the story! A curveball for sure, but I still need to stick the landing, I'd say. I'm excited to get feedback on Paige especially, I've been wondering how folks will react to her! Thanks again for the review~
[Report This]Date: January 13 2019 2:41 PM Title: Chapter Seventeen
Good to see that Melanie is so powerful and simply does what she does. I like it.
It's so annoying when some huge girl is bossed around by some plebs or tinies.
I think this story is a bit refreshing compared to all that bullshit.
As for the story itself, I can almost see Adrian turning in some psychopath and shrinking people together with Melanie.
Thank you for writing!
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading~! Your encouragement means a lot!
[Report This]Date: January 13 2019 3:23 AM Title: Chapter One
This story is on a website specifically for a fetish involving overly powerful women and so many of these reviews are criticizing it for doing just that. Not liking the author's personal tastes in kink doesn't make it bad writing. It's clearly not everyone's fantasy to be in a situation like this, so keep it up for those who do, OP.
Date: January 13 2019 1:54 AM Title: Chapter One
This story could have been good, because the writing style is very good and creating tension is good. The problem is the Mary Sue type. Everything is handed to her without her have to put any effort into it and nothing they do fazes them. These characters are hated, because they are totally unrelatable. These are annoying characters whether they are good or evil.
I have to watch out for that trap in my story. It is more balanced and people actually have to put effort into achieving stuff making the characters feel more real, they learn, they develop, they from opinion. Actions have consequences.
Author's Response:
I'm happy to hear I can create solid tension! I think that's an important quality with a story like this -- especially with a story like this, actually. It's good get feedback that I'm successful in that regard, I often have a hard time telling if I'm being suspenseful or not.
I've discussed the topic a little before, so I won't get much into it, but Melanie does often have things "handed to her," but I'd say those "things" specifically are opportunities. She happens to be at the right place at the right time, she's also the worst person for this to happen to, and I think that's part of the fantasy. For me, anyway. So easily could Melanie be stopped, realistically, that it makes the atrocities she commits even more ridiculous. Everything she gets away with is so close to being prevented in some way, but she's fast enough and heartless enough to keep things in her favor.
I can only blame myself as the writer here: I think I've failed to show enough that Melanie is crafty in how wicked she is. It's probably better shown in the earlier chapters, where she manipulates people into being where she needs them so her curse can work. In later chapters, the drama of events added with the convenience of the potion's evolution takes away from her cleverness, it doesn't leave a lot of room to show it off. But... that being said, I'd say that's the point I'm attempting to make. I think the next chapter will have touches of this topic in it, so I'll end my response here. Thank you for the review!
[Report This]Date: January 12 2019 8:43 PM Title: Chapter Sixteen
Yeah still on course of what I expect, hopefully Adrian will guide Mel's choices to 'empower' her potion toward those that are truly evil and deserving of being shrunk (if not worse), rather then Mel just shrinking random poeple, also if Mel's able to 'muate' the potion to remove the curse Adrian needs to ensure that part of her 'freedom' is that the 'innocents' (espeacilly the five random people Mel shrank at the motel as well as the remaining captuves) are restored.
Thank you.
Date: January 02 2019 3:22 AM Title: Chapter One
I really like this. The scenario seems simplistic at first but the writing is good enough to make it compelling to read.
Looking at the reviews is interesting too. I'm not well-versed in moe so maybe a true yandere is different, but characters of Melanie's type in movies or books usually have a mix of malice, allure, and pathos, so that the protagonist and the audience are conflicted between attraction or sympathy on the one hand and fear and revulsion on the other. A lot of the appeal comes from that tension.
In this story, though, Melanie is written as unattractive (not once is Adrian or anyone else even slightly drawn to her) and as an unsympathetic bully (except for a few moments like at the mall).
This isn't a criticism, since I'm sure that's exactly the way you intended to write her. It's just speculation about why some people might dislike this while still liking other things with just as much darkness and depravity in them.
Author's Response:
"Melanie is written as unattractive." Melanie! Is! Cute! Y-You can't just say something like this...!
All jokes aside, heh... Melanie does seem pretty unappealing to most palates. Comments like this make me wonder what kind of visual people have for Melanie in their mind. Perhaps the ugliness of her nature sticks with folks and represents itself in that way. Personally, I think Melanie is adorable! The messy hair, the bags under her eyes -- she's Miss America, or at least Miss Halloween in my book. The unsympathetic bully part, well, you've got me there. She is pretty mean! But that's part of her charm~
True what you've said though, perhaps Melanie just isn't the kind of giantess for some, and so her actions are a lot less forgivable. But overall, the response to Endless has been so positive. I'm happy my story can interest people, including you! Speaking of which, thank you for this review! I hope the rest of the story continues to be entertaining~
[Report This]Date: January 01 2019 8:38 PM Title: Chapter Sixteen
A tremendous way to begin 2019!
I was thinking Juniper was destined to be Nicky's foil but her actually discovering her gives me great curiousities for the future of them both.
Also the random strangers shrinking scenario would be a pretty awesome spin-off/one off if you ever chose to do so.
Author's Response:
The Juniper-Nicky plotline should be an interesting one, to say the least! I've been looking forward to exploring that side of events since Juniper and Nicky's creation. It's nice to have them together, finally. Crazy to think that I introduced Juniper months ago and only now am I actually using her.
I figured at least one person would think that of the motel victims, hehe. There's certainly some potential for fun stories with those five, but alas, I probably won't be getting around to exploring them. I think a lot of the excitement with that element is that it's left to the reader's imagination. Who knows what happened to them? I don't know any better than anyone else, haha~ Thanks again for the review, I'm glad I could kick off your 2019 with a little Endless!
Date: January 01 2019 5:41 AM Title: Chapter Sixteen
There’s not much more I can say about this story that I haven’t said already (also I still haven’t gone to sleep since staying up for New Years lol so my mind is a lil sleep depraved to say the least) but this continues to be one of my favorite stories! Although I definitely don’t want to get my hopes up too high, this story seems to beheading into exciting territories for me - I mean as you know, violent F/f stories where the prey are complete strangers is my all time fave, especially if the prey doesn’t exactly have a happy ending ;) I’m so excited to see how this goes and I’m so hoping Chloe meets her fate soon (maybe Melanie has gotten a taste for people? Or maybe she wants to feel a human body burst under her barefoot?). I have a half theory of where the cure storyline is gonna go but I honestly highly doubt it’s nowhere close to how good whatever you’ve decided is. Can’t wait!!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the kind review~ I hope the outcome of the story exceeds your expectations! Thank you thank you thank you.
[Report This]Date: December 12 2018 8:54 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
I am very intrigued to see what Mel is planning.
As for Nicky, great sense of peril with everything that's happened to her and Juniper might be the ultimate wildcard.
Author's Response:
Juniper the Wild Card... I like that! I wonder how many folks expected her to be involved in such a way. I'm glad she's turned out to be a fine addition to the plot, at least. As always, I really appreciate the review~ It's wonderful to hear that people are fascinated with all the twists and turns.
Date: December 11 2018 11:55 PM Title: Chapter Fifteen
Oh man now I’m super freaking excited to see what Melanie has planned in the next chapter! I know most of my reviews can get kinda repetitive but I feel the need to add some positivity to these negative reviews to show you that there’s a lot of us who are in love with what you’re doing to the story. I mean sure I agree Melanie is protected by some plot armor but really, you could make that case with practically all fictional stories. It’d be difficult (near impossible) to create a story (especially one about a girl who shrinks and kidnaps women) without even just a little plot armor, so I don’t understand all the vast negativity about it in this story. Keep it up and can’t wait to read more, especially if there’s more vore/crush ;)
Author's Response:
Indeed, I do feel a little bit of plot armor is sort of expected and, to a degree, mandated to make the narrative flow the way it's intended. A crazy giantess's fun being stopped by something too mundane, it doesn't make for an exciting tale. Ha, but I do see the critiques of my plot and appreciate them. They certainly don't deter me.
Thank you again! For another review! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well~