Reviewer: Odysseus Signed [Report This]
Date: May 24 2018 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 3: This American Life - A Taste of the 99%

Lollipop chapter was great too! I see what you mean about planning something similar to what I had suggested in previous review. I think you did a great job with the characters as well as the description of what it was like for him .

 

Some other ideas: 

 

1. A grain of sand. Imagine a grain of sand at the beach, and what it was to go through. Made into a sand castle, stuck between a girl's toes, shaken off in the water, stuck between a girl's butt cheeks in her bikini bottom, etc. 

 

2. I like what someone else suggested about a girl who knows her items are transformed prisoners. Maybe like this is sadistic girl with a bag full of gummy bears where each one is a person, and she eats them slowly and deliberately, biting off legs or heads while taunting them .

 

3. A berry that gets thrown into a blender and made into a smoothie. 

 

4. Insole In a soccer cleat. 

Author's Response:

Thanks for another review, glad you're enjoying the story! I like the grain of sand idea, I wouldn't have thought of that. You can probably expect something similar to show up eventually lol