Date: December 28 2017 11:04 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Encumbrance
I can't believe how often you update your stories! You post good, long chapters in short expanses of time which is downright impressive! It tells me how committed you are to them. Sometimes an author takes a break after each chapter and the chapters don't seem to match. I'm glad you are consistent and the story flows so nicely.
Speaking of good flow, I'm loving your transitions! The way you said across town in an Italian restaurant makes me picture a movie camera panning out from the coffee shop away from Kaya and then the camera flies over down and zooms in the restaurant to see Adam and Ashley together. I love it!
Interesting twist to add Kaya and her team of thieves with Chloe and Nick. Even though we just met them, you can tell they have a good history together and are close. Nick kinda reminds me of myself, just on a device constantly and people joke around about it. Then I would play it off like he did, or atleast I try to.
Funny how Kaya is trying to convince Richard about all the shrinking tech while Richard is experiencing it firsthand. "Seeing is believing". Well, Richard is experiencing it more than just seeing it.
With the introduction of Nick and Chloe, it makes me wonder if there might be too many characters in the story. Of course, with a story that updates frequently I won't forget them, but it has always been a weakness of mine, mixing up characters names. But since the characters are very unique so far, I should be alright.
Wow! Ashely just gave up on Adam! Just like that! I was surprised that she just walked out on him when her main objective was trying to not act suspicious. I think Adam now has a reason to investigate. Who knows how he became a good reporter. Perhaps he sees things that shouldn't be seen. (Ahem, Richard.)
If Ashley is so fed up with Adam, I think she should get Jane to shrink him for her. That way Ashely can finally show Adam what she wanted and she will be in control for once since she had follow Adam her entire life.
Jane already shrunk Richard to preserve her secret so I wouldn't be surprised that she would have to shrink Adam if he gets nosy. Soon Jane might have a collection of tiny men to please her. While that may be awesome, I like it when a giantess has one tiny to put all her attention to. Makes that tiny feel special and I like to imagine myself as that guy.
Jane must be so happy that Ashely chose her over Adam. I love how you described that she was getting turned on by Ashley's words. They were words that Jane seems to be waiting for a while now. I bet any loved would love to hear the words of someone being fully committed to them.
Loving Ashely's new aggressive nature. She initiated the fun with Jane and is also deciding to be the one to include Richard with the fun with her and Jane. I think Ashely might take out her anger of Adam out on Richard. Do I see a sadistic side to her?
This is the second time we would see Jane and Ashely being intimate together. The first time, Jane was pegging Ashely with a strap-on and now we see a great makeout session and Richard is about to be involved which makes me excited. Richard calls it a nightmare, but this to me is a dream come true!
If Ashely will be the aggressive one, will Jane be the naughty one? Or am I just judging way to early and both women will be a combination of many attributes. So far, all your characters are complex and I feel certain that even Jane and Ashely will have some kinky, variety of sexual characteristics they have.
Speaking of sexual things, Jane hasn't inserted a tiny guy in her vagina yet? I thought she was more experienced than that. Did she only shrink one guy before Richard or were there more? I would also like to know a little bit about the guy before Richard that Jane shrunk. Maybe Jane could soften Richard up with some sexy story time and share the details of her last playmate to scare him.
Man, this story keeps getting better and better! I doubt you will have any trouble getting attention for this story. It's not like it's a "little secret" that other readers aren't curious about.
The most recent page seems to be a little stale recently, but I think you just brought it back to life. Especially if you keep uploading at this rate, you will be getting reviews, left and right due to how good this story is. I think that's what makes people interested. Not just a good fantasy, but also a good story that people can relate to, and this...has the potential to be a masterpiece.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Nick and Chloe will only be mentioned here and there. Richard, Jane, Ashley, Kaya, and Adam are the focus of the story :)
You have a wild imagination about the possibilities that could take place! I love It!
Jane has only ever had one tiny before Richard, and it was for a very VERY short amount of time. In a future chapter that tinies fate WILL be revealed :)
Thanks for the big review!
Date: December 28 2017 7:24 AM Title: Chapter 3 - Encumbrance
So far this story is really very sad. This guy simply being shrunken only because being at the wrong place to the wrong time, taking away from his world as he knows it. I never had hoped that strong before that two abusive woman got something of their own medicine.
I do hope that the "little secret" isnt the cheating and the affair of Ashley and Jane but more the secret between Nick, Chleo and Kaya about investiging into shrinkings.
Because if its the first then i doubt there will be any hope for Richard before this story reached its end.
DING DING! You just won the prize, brilliant observation! The title of the story is a play on words... and doesn't solely refer to Jane and Ashleys little secret ;)