[Report This]Date: January 04 2018 1:32 PM Title: Chapter 30 - Zava in the 21st century
Its a great story from how it evolves and all but i have to say i miss the one element that almost all stories here have in common, more or less. I mean your story would be enough for a movie script with the romance, the intersize problems the travel from world to world but... there is no drama at all.
While i often think many stories have to much of it, that often bad things happen only to make anything to happen but in your story literally nothing happens.. sorry. I mean.. there could have been one human gts fan that could have sneaked through the military and get to close to the unaware Zava and get crushes while she role over, or an accident while walking the airport.. she could have landed on somebody right at arrival at the teleporation.
You had two or three lines with that mentioned nightmare of her wich at least for me where like the breaze of salt in an overall tasteless supper.
The Original story from rainman had it with the mean girl but your sequel so far has nothing even close to it. My no mean overfill your story with it but every now and then a little bit here and there.. some giantess related dramas would be nice.
Author's Response:
Hello. Thank you for the input! This is my first story ever and it shows. When there is constructive criticism, I can address the problems in the story and I want to please my readers, of course, especially the ones that take the trouble to comment (much appreciated, BTW). I've grown to love Zava so much that i've become maybe too overprotective with her. I think the story does have drama, of course, albeit perhapts too much internal conflict and not enough physical ones. Stay tuned, I've got a few aces up my sleeve.