Reviewer: TomSpeedy Signed [Report This]
Date: September 22 2017 9:08 PM Title: 16: Born Again

Hmm. This chapter felt the shortest to me. Maybe it was becuase it was kind of a blur to me, or maybe it was becuase you wrote it out so smoothly that it was easy to read. Either way, it left me wanting more.

I was thinking this unbirth stuff was weird and thought it was real until Amy showed up. She was the one who made me realize was a dream. It was out of character to be with Dianne like that seeing her brother being born and agreeing to Dianne keeping a sex slave and all that.

How tf do you dream about a birth? Really Max? Just because you are in a vagina, you think about birth. Then he goes back in for sex. Crazy turnaround, but I thought it was funny.

Once again, loving the dialogue of Dianne thinking about keeping Max as "a living sex toy." Man, that sounds hot every time.

I admit, this is the funniest chapter so far becuase of how strange it is. Then Max is like "you are no queen, I'm in control, blah blah blah" and then he dives into her and all she could do was moan.

One more thing, Max is all tied up and he was able to come? Wait...did he use her vaginal walls to rub it out? Ok, that's creative.

We learn that Max likes Dianne, but he wants control. In reality though, Dianne is in control and I love it when she uses him against his will than Max choosing it himself.

Next week is Dianne's fitness/yoga job. Ooh, this is good. Imagine Dianne putting Max in her cleavage as she jumps up and down. I'm not exactly a boob guy, but I bet other people might like soemthing like that.

What I want, well I think that's predictable: Dianne then puts Max in her panties, not in her pussy, but in the front of her panties, and then she puts on some tight leggings or yoga pants which press Max into her. Then imagine Dianne doing the splits and her weight is resting on Max, her pussy lips smothering him. Even an excercise bike would be nice.

I hope before they leave to work, Dianne says something sexy like "Hey Max, wake up!" "Today, I'm taking you to work. That way you won't escape and I can keep you nice and close". "I got a special place for you to stay". She points. Max has a fearful look. "Don't worry Max. It's going to be nice and tight for you so you want fall out". "You are going to spend all day in here. mhmm, doesn't that sound good. Being all cozy with me".

After more teasing, "I'm going to enjoy this. In you go". Then some more teasing. "Ooohhh Max, that feels great. I should keep you forever." Dianne walks to her mirror. "My my, no one would be able to notice you Max. You fit inside nicely."

Ok, you don't need all that. I just went overboard into fantasy.

Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response:

The unbirth thing is a little weird to me too but I'm glad you found it comical. I try to get each chapter over 1000 words which this chapter was exactly, but some chapters can go to 1300.

I appreciate your thoughts on each chapter, you've got everything down to the point you could probably take over as the author and very few would notice lol 

I'll add in some of your dialogue too because you've given me continuous good reviews and ratings! :)