Reviewer: TomSpeedy Signed [Report This]
Date: November 09 2017 10:14 PM Title: A pedicure for her and a wild ride for him

I just binge-read this whole story.

Not bad. After reading the title, description and tags, I thought this would be a story that covers everything. After reading chapter 1, I realized that isn't the case.

The focus is on Gaby and her friends for the majority of the story. Unfortunately, I haven't found their characters that interesting. They seem to have the cliche teen-crush for any guy that they have. Usually, that's good for most stories, but I think I was expecting something different.

John is good. Has a fetish and is exploring his fantasies and I like that. His fantasy seems a bit limited, but hey, if he likes it that much, I don't blame him.

Then I thought Jenny might bring something else to the table, but instead, John convinced her to treat him like all the other girls did.

Rachel is my favorite character. She is mysterious and presents a new personality compared to most stories. Usually, the older sibling would be a mean girl, but I'm impressed that you made her a likeable character who seems reasonable.

I think I might have a thing for Abigail since I love yoga women, and she had a great butt scene. Shame she doesn't get much time with John and shame that she didn't see him. Would loved to see some interaction with her.

Also, it seems that you are on the fence with Abigail. While most stories on this site use the "let's sleepover, my parents are gone" idea, I'm glad you kept the mom in this. However, you haven't brought her into the story completely and just put her in the background just so John could imagine a worse fate. I like surprises and Rachel was one of them.

If Abigail could get a chance too, I think it could improve the story, but that's just my opinion. Her character despises men, but I have this feeling she might like a tiny guy becuase he can't leave like a normal guy. She may hate bugs and men, but that doesn't mean she will hate a bug-sized guy. Who knows, maybe she misses a man, and that's why she works out. Perhaps, she will take interest in John.

Let's just say that if I was John, I would have stayed with Abigail. The fear of what she might do with him brings some thrills for me.

This story is good, but I think it could be great.

I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks Speedy for the long, very detailed review, means a lot. Not many people leave reviews such as this. Your comments are a tad true, I had a plan starting out around the mall chapter and later on what I wanted to include which had John actually interact with Abigail, Rachel and Jenny more but I changed it around for time and lack of vision on where to take the story after because it would've had a different structure than it does now. If I could go back and change it back to my old vision, I might.