Reviewer: Tigernach Signed [Report This]
Date: May 17 2017 7:59 PM Title: Chapter 4: Confused Feelings

I've just finished reading your first four chapters... You have a potentially very good story here, but there are certain very distracting features: the massively huge open spaces between paragraphs...  Can you not somehow eliminate them?

You also frequently skip words or letters in your text, that leave one to wonder what it was you meant to say.

Of a more minor nature: breasts are plural, and whenever you are not referring to a specific one (left or right, or otherwise understood to be one or the other) they should always be referred to in plural.

Otherwise, keep up the good work, and I'm looking forward to the next chapters.