Date: May 15 2021 2:38 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I've realized, but neglected to ask until now, that at some point Sihil dreams about her home. She mentions her father, but no mother. Did she have the (unfortunately common for a medieval period) unfortunate fate of dying in childbirth? Was she carried off by hostile wildlife? Succumb to illness?
... Was she eaten by a "giant"?
... Did Teagan eat her?
Survivability isn't high for most people in the highlands, where giants haven't quite been driven out as thoroughly, and the land not as fully tamed. Sihil's mother passed away, although not at the hands of Teagan.
Date: April 24 2021 12:29 PM Title: Chapter 28: Accomodation
> I think there’s goodness in you, and, well, I think that goodness is somewhat exempted when everyone here is an interloper living in a world they stole
SIHIL BITCH DID YOU FORGET THE PART WHERE SHE ATE FUCKING CHILDREN
like any of them asked to be born in that shit situation
blame the emperor all you want but don't exempt yourself from the ambiguous "them"
Sihil needs some degree of cope rhetoric besides "you're a changed person now" to help her not hate Teagan's guts
Date: April 17 2021 4:06 AM Title: Chapter 31: Foregathering
WA WA WA WAIT A MINUTE
Does Icaria's dad live in the Old Lands, or is he just dead?
Because I think it's the Old Lands, considering like 20 chapters ago you made it canon in your lore tomkins are still trickling in even 200 years after the first batch of tomkins showed up. AND I still want to know how they got there in the first place, be it spaceship or reality shifting shenanigans, because either way, racist as it may be, I find it hard to believe a bunch of rock throwing animal skin wearing savages could just accidentally themselves onto another planet. It would also explain why Icaria would be so fervent about the doctrine of the First Emperor, even moreso than Firkon, if the tomkins are still suffering in their place of origin, and she hailed from there/has close family there, it would make sense why the haven of the New Lands (no matter how dangerous) would be something she'd so fiercely protect.
Also since you said the story's kind of approaching its endgame it would be the perfect segue into the Old Land exposition.
OH and I know the answer is probably gonna be "LOL I just came up with it off the top of my head but thanks for the idea it's now canon" but I had a theory where the name "tomkin" comes from. There's the old fairytale, first published in 1621 about Tom Thumb, a boy no bigger than a person's thumb. Tomkins are also about the size of a thumb, give or take half a centimeter, therefore they're like the family of Tom Thumb. Tom's family=Tom's kin=tomkin
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED *X-Files theme*
You're half right. Tom came from Tom Thumb, but I came up with kin because it's the suffix of "munchkin". Cute little name for cute little people, when they're not trying to shoot you down with ridiculous little "siege" weapons.
Date: April 15 2021 2:48 AM Title: Chapter 31: Foregathering
OKAY SO something that's been bouncing around in my head for... a week or two. So Orestion and that sort are Romans, the Akritai and the likes of Agopolis are clearly Greek, so what's Q'thuman and Hassan and Aalyiah then? Persian? Ottoman?
Persian sounds about right, though I would say that they don't necessarily have a 1:1 real world analogue in the same manner as the other two.
Date: April 08 2021 3:26 PM Title: Chapter 31: Foregathering
Poor naive Sihil doesn't realize the tomkin slaves (or at least some of them) would probably be grateful for death at this point.
I do have a couple of questions. How old is Volkard, since during the second intermission when he was presumably 12-14 it seemed like humanity was still pretty booming to only be cautious of tomkins.
Also going back and reading from the beginning, sometimes you said Teagan's hair was black, not auburn. I mean it's been a couple years so I understand the inconsistency. Oh, AND in the chapter where Teagan first meets Aaliyah and Hassan, when she's having Eucharion pull the arrow out of her eye and she's making a pulling motion there's a simile where you call a spool a thimble. A thimble is one of the metal things you put on your finger to keep from poking yourself with a needle, a spool is the plastic or wooden thing that has thread on it.
To be frank, I never really thought about exactly how old Volkhard is, I was just thinking something along the lines of, say, maybe 50 to 60. Of course, he looks somewhat younger because of the abstract property of magic that slows aging considerably.
At this point I'm promoting you to editor-in-chief whether you want to be or not. I keep forgetting the difference between spool and thimble and I REALLY thought I got it right this time around. I guess not. Thimble just... it SOUNDS like it should be the small part. It really does.
Date: March 09 2021 10:13 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
My sincerest apologies. I binged this story almost a year ago now and I am just now getting to reviewing it. I gotta get better at this. You don’t keep the same ideas when so much time has passed by. That being said, I shall reread every chapter of this story to review it the way it deserves to be reviewed.
First things first I have to get something off my chest that has bothered me since the first time I read this. I don’t know why, I think it’s because of the word “tomkin” the way it looks and sounds but every single time I think of a tomkin the mental image of a Tontatta from One Piece comes to mind. I don’t know why. It’s been that way since I started reading this. In fact despite no references to tails or otherwise and in more recent chapters they calling each other, humans implying there is no physical difference between them and humans it is still the first image that comes to mind. In my mind Sihil looks like Princess Mansherry despite being pretty much the complete opposite of her in appearance. I know Sihil doesn’t appear until chapter 2 but this has always been a thing with me and I just have to voice it now before I get started.
My mental image of tomkins aside, let’s get down to business; the beginning of a truly amazing story. I love this story will all my being. This is one of my favorite ongoing stories and one of my favorite stories, in general, within this community. Anytime I get a chance to bring this up, I will. This story is great.
Starting with the authors note, thank you! I think that’s one of the reasons I gel with this story so much. I absolutely love it when the victims in gts stories are more than faceless playthings, in fact reading some stories where they are just “the faceless masses” actually kind of bores me. Seeing events play out from their views, seeing the threats the way they see them, that’s what I want to see and one of the things this story does so well! Second, the character work is pretty phenomenal but the worldbuilding? Oh boy are you being mighty generous with “degree of worldbuilding”. There are subtle references throughout this story hinting at things, places, character, events that we don’t see that make this world seem so much bigger and lived in, I don’t know how to fully quantify it. I kid you not, you punch out some of the pros with the way you can just sprinkle in a line here or there that just sells your world all the more. Worldbuilding is a constant with this story and something I return for as much as the giantess interaction stuff or the character building.
And speaking of characters, man you have some complex ones. I’m getting ahead of myself. I haven’t even got past the author’s note yet. I’m sorry, I really really love this story.
Another peculiar thing about me reading this. For whatever reason I had always read her name pronounced ‘Tee-gan’. It was only recently that I realized it’s just like Reagan but with a T. Correct me if I’m wrong but her name is pronounced ‘Tay-gan’ right? It’s been an ongoing debate with me for some time now.
So now we’ve met our longform protagonist, gotten a bit of insight into her and her habits. We have also come to a persistent constructive criticism of mine. At times the story moves too fast. Granted this chapter may not reflect the writing now as it is the first of like 27 and growth from then is most certainly assured but something I notice a lot of how fast paced things can be, like this scene. Teagan patches herself up, eats dusky hair, sleeps through the night where we hear of trackers chasing her and then is awake in the morning already on the move in like less than two paragraphs. Like I said this is more to the early chapters but I’ve noticed it in some of the recent chapters as well. Hence some constructive feedback I would offer is to slow down a bit, smell the flowers. I want to experience these events, not just hear about them.
And then we’re done. The first chapter was a lot shorter than I remember. It doesn’t necessarily invoke the feelings of everything the story will become but it does enough to establish the main character, a few things about her (she hates tomkins) and her goal. All in all a modest beginning to a great story.
Date: February 21 2021 3:35 PM Title: Chapter 30: Misgiving
I have a suggestion. You say stomachs are dark, which is true, but this is a world where magic exists (albeit rare in tomkins). Just have Teagan swallow at least one low level mage who can manifest a light orb spell (have the mage+civs swallowed together for extra chaos). Or maybe on a particularly cruel streak Teagan finds she can manifest her power internally (you've already suggested this as she's almost crushed her own heart with her magic before) and have it create a glimmering light inside her stomach or something.
See? I got you.
Date: February 20 2021 2:46 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
A chapter on my birthday, nice. Though, I do have a question, do you have any plans on ever writing a scene inside Tegan's stomach after she swallows someone?
okay so I totally want to do this as I really kind of just want to touch on every aspect of the overall size genre at least once but there are a few problems I have, namely
1. i've never done it before and im pretty sure it would be mediocre at the very best which gives me pause every time i consider doing such
2. i'd need to figure out how to justify the tomkins not just literally killing teagan from the inside, and
3. its gonna be DARK in there. like im sure i can write a few paragraphs based on sensory input alone but i feel like a description of the agony of being digested alive would turn off just as many readers as it would turn on (although to be fair given the violent content of my story as a whole this is probably the least important of the three)
so my final answer isn't quite a yes but it's rather likely to happen at least once
Date: February 19 2021 5:23 PM Title: Chapter 30: Misgiving
I desire an entire chapter dedicated to enslaved tomkins
none of that "ok she opens the cage and lets them go" shit either
I'm talking long, lengthy conversations
and also Teagan better not kill any of the fucking enslavers, considering what the tomkins did to that one woman. Just have her cram as many as she can down her pants like a dude trying to shoplift a whole ass tv from walmart or something
desire and you shall receive, powerplay is my thing anyways so i was gonna do at minimum a half chapter on it. to be fair though the enslavers are also highwaymen and have done their fair share of murdering humans and tomkins alike, and to top it all off the landsknekte are offering Teagan quite the haul if she caves a few skulls in. sorta hard to say no to that
Date: January 09 2021 1:48 PM Title: Chapter 29: Bargaining
And now Icaria's time with Volkhard is going to shake up her beliefs about "all giant bad". And once again I loathe no one more than Volkhard, especially now. It's one thing to think "These brutes are mindless killing machines and must be stopped for the good of humanity" Attack on Titan style, it is A WHOLE NOTHER to think "I have grown and been nutured by their kind, formed relationships, had loves, surrounded by families, and I will cast it all away and kill them all indiscriminately, man, woman, and babe alike and of course I am the single of their kind exempt from my justice".
If you couldn't tell, "Rules for thee but not for me" pisses me the fuck off.
At this point Volkhard views himself moreso as a tomkin than a human - or rather, moreso as a human than a giant - so he's exempt from his genocidal ideals by nature of not figuring as a target at all in his twisted, psychotic calculus. That being said, as a contracted giantslayer who understands the human language, he's certainly still privy to the fact that the so-called giants are no less human than he. Icaria probably isn't a good influence either.
Date: January 03 2021 11:36 AM Title: Chapter 27: Passion
WAIT A MINUTE WAIT A MINUTE
Okay so I just realized the Akrites made a distinction between "their" empire and the others, and Sihil says "your" Emperor. So usually in this story when they say "Emperor" at all, they're referring to the first. Does this mean Orestion isn't associated with the First Emperor? Are tomkins still being funnelled in from whatever non-hellscape they came from? I'M SO CONFUSED
Their Emperor = Selceus
The Emperor is generally the First Emperor.
Orestion doesn't necessarily dissociate itself from the First Emperor's regime, but rather, the Selcenian Empire deems itself the successor state. Rhaea and Theodosia didn't think of themselves as "Selcenians" - a term used by outsiders from other nations - but rather simply as citizens of the Empire, which their nation is synonymous with. At least, to them. This is in turn part of why Icaria wants to see Selceus dethroned, though her primary motive is still of course killing Teagan and Sihil.
Date: December 31 2020 3:19 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
Well based on the way they're dressed I'm gonna guess humanity's not as extinct as Teagan thinks it is.
Why has Teagan not asked Sihil about the tablet thing she stole from the monastary, you didn't forget, did you?
NONE OF THIS SHIT MAKES ANY SENSE
I dunno how to feel because everything and everyone is so fucking GRAY, in what way were the Old Lands so terrible that what seems to be every fucking tomkin ripped a hole in reality and an enormous world is the better alternative? They've clearly beaten this landscape into submission, the Old Land couldn't have been that bad.
and I have a feeling you're making shit up as you go along and actually have no idea how this is gonna end. LOOK I GET THAT THE MESSAGE IS THAT GENOCIDE ISN'T COOL
I HATE FUCKING EVERYONE IN THIS STORY except *~*~Precious bean Sihil~*~* but the poor girl's never gonna be the same again
i am so frustrated
My thoughts are more or less that Teagan may start asking Sihil more once she's out of mortal peril as it stands. She's still injured from her fight with Wulfric, and the scuffle with the Akritai certainly didn't do her any favors either. Teagan is certainly curious about tomkin culture moreso now than ever, but her main priority as it stands is reaching Whitebreeze Keep, or at least somewhere with some degree of shelter. I can give you my absolute guarantee that I'm not just making things up as the story goes on! Really, I swear, I know exactly where the story is headed! It's just that the route it takes to get to that ending I have planned out is a bit more vague... and might be somewhat circuitous. I PROMISE things will make more sense later. And c'mon, surely there's, like, maybe one or two more likeable characters... maybe... hopefully...
Date: December 26 2020 2:18 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I feel bad for not writing a review earlier. I discovered your story a few weeks ago and read every chapter with such eager and vigor. Such a great, professional story. I love the adventure plot, I love Teagan and her complicated relationship with Sihil, and I aboslutely love all the vore. Keep up the fantastic work. I'm always happy to see when your story gets a chapter added!
Hey, no need to feel bad - I'm just glad that you're enjoying the story! Thanks for the review, and I appreciate the kind words.
Date: December 19 2020 8:49 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
Love the chapter and their interactions with each other! I can't get over how well you write world-building. I mean writing all of these characters must be hard! And you are doing amazingly well at it. I will be at the edge of my seat waiting for the next update!
Thank you! I put a lot of my thought into the creation of the world and I didn't know if people would like it, so I'm glad to hear that it adds to the story for you. I'll be sure the try and get chapters up at least somewhat regularly.
Date: December 18 2020 6:13 PM Title: Chapter 27: Passion
wow you get a boner from fucking with people's emotions huh
volkhard continues to solidify my hatred, because now he's admittedly a babykiller and is okay with it "because I'm not really one of them" and yet if a human kills tomkin civs in a misguided act of revenge he's like "DUHHUH THEY DIDN"T DO ANYTHING TO YOU", I mean at least Firkon's lived his whole life steeped in indoctrination that it was "for the best".
I've always had this question lurking in the back of my head if this is an Attack on Titan situation (before it got shitty) where outside of a certain country humanity's alive and well since given this is a medieval setting you basically had your family and small town and that's pretty much your whole life. (don't answer, I want to wonder GIVE ME SOME FUCKING HOPE GODDAMIT)
And I guess lastly when that one soldier says "200 winters" is that like... legitimately 200 years, or is their timescale different? How long would a complete genocide of humanity take?
I wouldn't put it quite like that but I sure am a fan of it
In Volkhard's defense, he lives in a society where individual worth is as a whole just extremely low due to the massive tomkin population, and thus doesn't correlate the same sort of stigma to murder as we do. He's a desensitized man who's seen lots and done lots, for better or worse, and while he might not be justified, he's at least doing it for a cause he believes to be genuinely right (or, at least, used to believe, until Teagan knocked a bit of sense into his head - he's having his doubts as we can see from the fact he isn't trying to kill Teagan on the spot). He's just highly hypocritical when it comes to his supposed staunch defense of the innocent due to a mixture of his assimilation into tomkin culture and his tragic experience with his sister and Aelia.
I won't answer, and to be honest, I don't know if I have a complete answer to that synthesized in my head. Teagan, at least, operates on the idea that humanity as a whole has been subjugated and no civilization remains, but then again, she's never traveled far from Dunnehain before the excursion to Whitebreeze Keep, so who knows what's out there? She certainly doesn't.
200 winters is 200 years. Tomkin timescale is the same, but they generally measure things in seasons instead of exact dates. Mostly because I figured they wouldn't be using a human-like calendar.
Date: December 12 2020 12:18 PM Title: Chapter 26: Love
The best part is that I can't say any of this is real love and Sihil and Teagan are both just buried neck deep in Stockholm/Lima Syndrome and nothing is going to change my mind because this is fucking textbook, you've hit all the symptoms. It's not and never "real" love, but desperation bonding through traumatic experience and you've written it horrifically (that is to say, realistically).
Is one of your courses in college psychology?
Anyways since I'm apparently a wizard now I'm going to guess that Sihil is going to ask Aaliyah and Hassan if they want to be let go and they're going to refuse because they're worried about her.
Yeah, Teagan and Sihil are probably only interacting the way they are because of the total crappiness of their joint situation. That being said, hey, who's to say that love born through horrific circumstance and tortuous suffering isn't real love? Most people, actually, but, y'know, it sure beats loneliness... probably. Psychology isn't quite my area of expertise - I actually plan on being a writer, so if you find a fantasy novel by someone named Enzo, give it a read ;p - but I figured a captive-captor relationship would be rather volatile, and tried to depict it as such.
Date: December 12 2020 9:02 AM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
Yay a chapter! I do think this magical understanding of the tomkin language was a bit rushed. And hopefully the two will gradually get closer. But it seems a bit weird to rush into a relationship between them when Sihil was so against her a few chapters ago. Maybe make it like Stockholm's syndrome, or sihil merely adapting to Teagans change. Add in a little PTSD and gentleness on Teagans part and this will work fantastically to make Sihil grow affection for her. Love the Volkhard interaction, hopefully he can join them. Love the chapter tho! (^~^)/
Yeah, I absolutely agree about this linguistic revelation being a bit shoddy - to be honest, I wanted it to be a lot more drawn out, maybe have an entire chapter dedicated to an internal sort of dream sequence corresponding to the shift responsible for the deus ex machina, but I'm honest getting to the point where I want to wrap this story up so I decided to cut that bit. In retrospect, it didn't work out great and it's a bit more obviously hasty than it seemed when I was proofreading while a bit tipsy. That being said, I figure if I've made it this far with the story, no point in rushing the ending, right? In any case, thank you for the review, and I'm absolutely thinking of making the relationship between Sihil and Teagan very prone to sporadic change a la Stockholm syndrome.
Date: November 08 2020 10:30 PM Title: Chapter 1: A Fallen Nation
I agree with Jimbob. Teagan changing to be more regretful and potentially less violent for the sake of it is the natural consequence of her epiphany about her being love-starved.
Also just so you know the sex parts don't even have to happen I am 100% about plot right now.
Date: November 08 2020 5:30 PM Title: Chapter 25: Invigoration
Don't be apologetic about including gentle moments with Teagan. It is a natural progression to her character development so far.
That's actually really good to hear - I was worried that I was trying to do too many things with her character at once, and was sorta just giving her split personality disorder with how much I was switching between her killing indiscriminately and befriending Sihil (and Hassan + Aaliyah to a lesser degree). I'll absolutely keep that in mind and not shy away from it going forward.