Reviewer: bailey69 Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12 2017 8:57 PM Title: Shattered Reality

If your going to put out a chapter once a week,don't make it so boring and slow.So many people will write a story that's drawn out where you lose enteress or write a couple of lines promising a hot mouth watering story but never going beyond those few lines. A chapter a week needs to have more then getting out of bed an to your sister's room so far I'm sorry but it's way to slow! I can't rate the story because it's not a story yet' I hope you do keep writing because you do have talent  

Author's Response:

Thank you for giving me some criticism on my writing. I do agree that the pacing of action in chapter 1 and 2 is fairly slow and is something I am working on. Now adressing the lack of "hot mouth watering story", my intent is for David's life is to progressivly change for the worse so action will increase with most chapters.