Date: February 19 2017 12:06 AM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
Nice ending, and nice story in general. Very cute, entertaining and easy to ready. Thanks for sharing!
Date: February 14 2017 1:09 AM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
I like Heket a lot. "Oh, my Ra!" and "I curse you with a thousand locusts!" were golden. Very likeable characters in general. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response:
Really? I wouldn't have thought you would like her. I would have thought Frankie or Cerberina.
[Report This]Date: February 03 2017 10:50 PM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
Cool concept. I'm interested to see more.
Author's Response:
I'm interested in writing more
Date: February 03 2017 2:21 AM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
It just feels really cool to see this written into a story. I love how the first chapter ended up, and I can't wait to read the rest. Good job!
[Report This]Date: February 02 2017 6:51 PM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
Not a bad opener. But, a lot of the run-on sentences should be split up, with appropriate capitalization of the first letter of the first word of each new sentence. And the narrative text needs even more separation from the character dialogue!
Date: February 02 2017 6:39 PM Title: The Last Turn in Richfield
Can't wait to see what happens next