Reviewer: Godleydemon Signed [Report This]
Date: November 15 2017 3:45 AM Title: Chapter 1

Spoilers!

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Despite being trapped in some sort of suspended animation I resisted the urge to panic. Though, honestly, it may have been that the thing preventing me from breathing also prevented me from losing my mind. Given my inability to move, speak, breathe, hear, or even feel- panic seemed like a perfectly good option. Instead I did what all objects on shelves do: nothing, I certainly didn’t reflect on how I’d ended up here. That was a problem for Future Mike; a guy undaunted by living in a nightmare and able to perform incredible feats such as breathing air. Though oxygen, apparently, was not a necessary ingredient for my current state of existence.

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I loved that paragraph and I loved this style of writing, unfortunately though, I didn't like the end. It just felt.. wrong. Nothing was accomplished, the old Heather seemed like it would appear through the cracks, then disappear again. I get the author wanted to let that bit of Heather shine through, but it gave a hope that just never went anywhere.

He tried his best to wrap things up in the final chapter, unfortunately, it left me thinking. The old Heather, from all that time ago, was lost forever and that our protagonist was going to suffer or learn to love it. I'd have loved to have seen a couple of more chapters, him working with the other character in the story that knows the secret. Devising a way to balance the scale so to speak, to break the spell that Heather had been trapped in, when she had only hoped to help her friend. The entire story is a tragedy when taken in with that context. 

Not only that, it's a tragedy without a proper ending. The author says something about an old cartoon, where Wiley finally caught the Roadrunner and held up a sign that said "now what". It's actually a rather famous scene in cartoon history. Because a child wouldn't know what came next, so neither did Wiley. That's not really what happens here though. The author tries to say the protagonist longed for Heather his entire life, but when he had her, he didn't know what to do next. That's not at all what happens in this story though truth be told. Heather is a maniacal super worldly being trapped by dark magic to consume, the more she consumes, the more darkness inside of her grows in strength. The truly tragic part, she didn't want this, she didn't want any of it. 

She even mentions at a certain point near the end, she didn't want this, but it's almost like she has two different personalities. Which in truth, she probably does. The one that hungers and the innocent child that doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Dear author, I know you've probably left this story be and gone on to other things, but I implore you to return to this very well written story. Give Heather the life she actually wants, not the one the Darkness inside of her, compels her to be.

Author's Response:

There is a sequal currently being posted to my Patreon and www.giantesscity.com. The end here was never intended to be the actual end.

Reviewer: TheJackdaw_v2 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26 2017 1:28 PM Title: Chapter 1

From the very beginning, this story completely sucked me in.. The action is awesome of course, but the plot and story development are pretty awesome. I like the stories that are a decent length, and have an attention grabbing setting. I like stories with action too. I like stories where there is an aspect of character development. This story has all these things.. Good work!

Reviewer: madeofwin Signed [Report This]
Date: May 03 2017 2:10 PM Title: Chapter 1

Always a fun read, you really do a good deal of buiild up.  

Reviewer: Hank the Boggle Champion Signed [Report This]
Date: April 04 2017 6:22 PM Title: Chapter 1

Wow, what a great story! He should definitely tell her about this memory of her childhood. If this story is true then she is definitely serving him an injustice. It's sad how he stood up for her when she was young but is now taking away his vitality.

Reviewer: J_O_H_N_J2002 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2017 3:12 PM Title: Chapter 1

Wonderful story! I love how dominant Heather is... and how helpless the tiny guy is against her massive bulk! Thank you! :)

Reviewer: SafetyPin Signed [Report This]
Date: January 18 2017 6:12 PM Title: Chapter 1

Well written story. I love that it's told in the first person because I can really relate to the guy. 

I'm looking forward to the continuation of "Unobtainable".

 

Reviewer: MadHatter Signed [Report This]
Date: January 18 2017 3:57 PM Title: Chapter 1

I'm new to this story today but I'm suprised it doesn't have more reviews... the writing here is very top notch and detailed. I'm hoping the dude gets smaller then just dwarf size but this is still damn good though. I hope the author doesn't lose motivation to finish!