[Report This]Date: March 26 2017 5:32 AM Title: A Deal With The Devil...
This is pretty damn good, keep it up.
Author's Response:
This comment can't be taken any other way. XD
Thank you Xefron, i'll do my best!
[Report This]Date: March 25 2017 4:57 AM Title: A Deal With The Devil...
Ceratainly I wasn't expecting another chapter so soon. Just remember that there's no need to rush, if you need to take a break just take it.
I really felt bad for Abby at the beginnning of the chapter. Still, numb Abby seems to be doing better. Not exactly doing good but is progress nonetheless. Now that the deal has been made, she has some hope to aim to but the road there most likely won't be easy. Still, at least now she knows that Nya is mostly on her side and not some lusty beast that sees her as a toy. And Kari too should be her ally as long as they keep cooperating with each other.
I like the way Kari and Abby interact with each other, they seem to have similar likes, even if they've strongly different point of views about the way they see the other race, and it was a nice little detail what Kari did for Abby's clothing. I'm sure she's feeling really guilty right now, though Abby most likely either directly ignores that or wouldn't believe it. On another circumstances they might've gotten along very well. Though, just maybe that possibility still exists in a not so close future. The biggest issue, other than Abby's trauma, most likely is the way each kind see the other, since humans hate towards the other two doesn't seem to be one sided. At least, that's what I can deduce by the conversation the witch and the human had when she was tyring to convince Abby to help her and also Ebon's attitude towards Abby. There's also the possibility that this is just an isolated case because of what happened to Najia. It was fun when Nyaa joined the other two, It might take some time until Abby get use to her though, even if she kind of understands the neko's motives. Now, I'm looking forward to see what Casey does next.
Something else to note is the introduction of terms such as Beastial and Hominals. I like information that adds something to the background and the story's world. Also, I might be wrong but: "All of our kind thrive from energy, and humans have an abundant source of it… T-T-That includes… well…". I think this is an interesting piece of information that I think might spell trouble for Abby later on.
Author's Response:
"Chuckles darkly" Indeed...
I'm glad you caught onto that little mention. You never seem to miss the tiny bits i through into my stories. XD
I'm not trying to overwork myself, i just have a lot of time on my hands since school's coming to a close in a few months. If you think i'm bad now, just wait till Summer's here, >:)
Though... if my family wants to vacation out of country again i might be in trouble... :(
Either way, i want to make sure this story thrives and is able to stand on it's own two legs and not just under the shadow of my last one's success. I want people to like it for it's own unique twist, and characters and plot. "shrugs" I'll probably be updating soon again anyways, probably not as soon as this chapter but i've started on the next one already. I'm really looking foward to Casey as well. I wanted the line up to be special, and if a Dullahan isn't one of them then i don't think I should be writing this. XD
Hope to see your reviews again soon Kenta! :D
[Report This]Date: March 23 2017 6:49 PM Title: A Deal With The Devil...
A (quality) double chapter release in just 2 days?! I'm starting to wonder if YOU'RE a monster too! xD
Apologies if my previous comment about Abby's characterization seemed generalizing; I was certainly not trying to suggest she's just a less sympathetic Claire! Now that she's calmed down and isn't screaming at the mere sight of monsters, I'm really enjoying the dynamic she shows for her new "companions." The medical scene with Kari was a perfect example of that; Abby's struggle of maintaining her Hippocratic oath and wiping away the tears of the child clashes wonderfully with the disdain she holds for all monsters and their deeds. Love the internal conflict, and I'm very interested to see where it'll take us next. Wouldn't be terribly surprised if Abby nurses Najia back to full health and then, upon regaining her size (if Kari is able to pull through with the request), leads a witch hunt against the "monsters." Not out of any particular malice, just because it's what people do. And it's a lot easier to hunt a creature down when she doesn't look like an adorable child before your eyes! :p But of course, I could be wildly off-base with that... just a thought!
Thanks for the writing suggestion! I could definitely stand to have another set of eyes take a look at some of my ideas and let me know if they're worth expanding into actual stories or not. As for your experiences, did Franchise Writer provide guidance on particularly developing the basic ideas, characters, and themes of PLD into the full story, or was his advice geared more toward plot details, pacing, etc.?
Anyway, I greatly look forward to the next chapter. And as for you right now, get to bed already! xD Pull too many all-nighters, and it won't be just Najia who needs those echanasea and dandelion extracts!
Author's Response:
No need to aplogize, i take no offence to you finding diference or similarities in characters. There their own characters after all. :P
I'm glad to see you're getting into it. :D
I'll try to update soon, but it might be a couple days lol. I'm pretty tired.As for whats to come you're just going to have to read and find out. ;)
On reguards to Franchise Writer's help, he kind of helped with everything. "Rubs back of head sheepishly" After reading some... or, most all of his stories except some stuff i didn't know about i noticed he mentioned on his bio that he helps people with writing so i just messaged him, and it all took off from there. The idea i had in mind was kind of odd but he honestly didn't act weird when i mentioned what I wanted my story to be about. So, I wrote the first three chapters with his guidance and posted them but about midway into the fourth he really got involved and made me think more on my own story. He's helped me with plot, characters, funny scenes, grammer. He's been like a fun teacher I guess i should say. :P
I hope I didn't rant, I just really appreciate his help and all.