Date: January 22 2017 5:12 PM Title: ~Punishment~
I think you are a very talented writer but somehow I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I miss certain spirit you built across previous chapters with Amy. I think you are moving too fast to TomSpeedy proposal. As if it is not your writing.
E.g. the way how Amy falls asleep does not sound authentic. Maybe she just pretends she sleeps but originally (from the chapter 'A New Attitude') Amy wanted her ass worshiped by a little man. I think the scene is a bit artificial just to move quickly to TomSpeedy proposal - that is just my impression.
In some previous comments you mentioned "A Night with Shannon". That story does not contain any "special" sexual activities but is still great - because there is a powerful spirit between lines. I would love to feel the spirit in your story again.
Please do not understand my feedback incorrectly. I do not mean it wrong. I really enjoy your style of writing and I like your stories very much. I have just confused feelings about this chapter.
I cannot wait for the next chapter.
Yeah, I have to agree. I reread the chapter a few times and realized that it felt a bit rushed. The build up wasn't there. I've been slightly distracted (starting off this new year) and wasn't completely focused on what I was doing. I may have to edit this chapter...
Thank's for taking the time and giving the honest and informative review, ...without some feedback (real feedback) and some detailed input, how can a writer expect to improve? Much appreciated.
Date: January 19 2017 9:53 PM Title: ~Punishment~
Amazing! The fact that it will take two chapters shows me that you really put the detail into this scene.
The first part was amazing. The way she paused and decided not to go to the toilet told me that you were using the pantie trap idea. I wasn't expecting it this this soon, but I'm glad it is.
Interesting that Amy straps Billy's chest. I'm also wondering if she will tie his wrists too. Wouldn't want him to use those hands to escape, do we? :)
I like the pink thong, but I liked the way you described it in your response to my review as a Victoria Secret lacy pink thong. It sounds more special with all those adjectives in front of it. (If Amy mentions it once, it would be good.)
Also......why is he upside down? It's interesting, but now I'm reconsidering if I want to be Billy, haha! Seems more torturous than sexy if he is hanging upside down all day. I was thinking that if he is right side up, he gets that classic view of her pussy. Also, Amy could peer into her panties and see Billy's little head easily.
Being upside down does have some benefits like, Billy being closer to her asshole so he might smell it, when Amy gets wet, everything will drip down to Billy's face. Sexy and cruel. Wow.
I wonder if Amy would decide to make Billy right side up or keep him upside down. I'm also wondering, if Amy will tie the rest of Billy up to her sexy lace thong and may even gag him. Will she wear tight leggings or something? So many things for me to wonder about!
I'm super duper excited. I really, really, really, really can't wait for the next chapter!
Thank's Tom, Billy might be in some serious trouble with Amy. We'll just have to see how it all plays out...