[Report This]Date: March 01 2023 1:52 PM Title: Day 76 - Part 2
This is a great story. Rafael is taken with his doll house by Demi. I sure would like to see where this narrative arc will lead us. Please keep up the good work.
Date: November 06 2015 3:55 AM Title: Day 76 - Part 2
Well I was not going to write again but the scene of her coming over and searching for him was great. A real surprise that she took the dollhouse. Nice touch. Did you give thought to his fear of her leaving and then just coming back at any time?
It is cool that she is tricking him and taking the house.
Enjoyable,
Diesel
Author's Response:
Hi Diesel,
You are right. i thought about play with the fear.... letting she goes and tese him about when she will come to take him. But the story i made in my head didnt llet me do this. If she goes, she lose the opportunity, because he could make a call, and every day someone come to check Rafael. :)