Date: November 05 2015 10:50 AM Title: PROLOGUE
I disagree with you claiming your excuse to be plausible; I have already debunked it when I mentioned that an extra X chromosome from a deformed child could work. More importantly chromosomes do not get affected by this formula because it does not alter her DNA (unless you said it did). It merely expands it. It would make more sense if say, the formula effects the female's estrogen levels, because women primarily have more, and because they more solid. More importantly, women make more growth hormone than men. I just think you could have been more elaborate with your excuses.
Anyway, I suggested earlier than rather make the men bigger, it just makes them stronger. It makes zero sense for it to have no effect whatsoever. Like say it would take ten times the dosage to make a man a hundred feet tall than it would a woman. Or that the men's muscles would increase instead of their entire body. But it shouldn't just be like taking a drink of water!!!
But please don't bother explaining your reasons because you don't need to. You prefer females and I admit I do as well. I just like a better excuse then a missing X chromosome.
In the meantime, will the army be gearing more powerful weapons? Ones that actually hurt their opponents. I know K thinks she was pretty reasonanble in her demands (for a World-Conqueror wannabe), but she's naive to think they're just going to lay down and surrender, right?
Author's Response:
Let's do something... let's keep the pseudo-science discussion for the end of the story, when I will have had the chance to completely explain how I imagine the growth process working. I'm sure you will still find some objections, but at least we will be discussing over something complete. Deal? :)
The summary is, of course, that I prefer only females to grow, in any case.
As for the army trying to get ready for Kelly: they have not had material time, but of course they will keep on improving. And of course Kelly is naive in her assumptions. Well, deep inside she knows that people will probably not surrender immediately, but she just assumes that this will mean that she will need to crush a few more until she gets her way. Of course, this does not mean that people see it the same way and that they won't do everything on their hands to prevent her from coming out on top ;)
Cheers!
Date: November 01 2015 8:34 AM Title: PROLOGUE
"Stronger presence"?
Any "presence" at all would be stronger! They have not shown their faces whatsoever.
About my desire for male growth... I'll admit it's not that I like it, from from it, but I wouldn't mind seeing that kind of battle and I think if you want to keep it to women, then don't bother with excuses as to how the formula works! It would be easier to say that Fred, Kevin and Joe were just too wimpy to try it out, or not have them come at all.
Author's Response:
Well, it was a way of expressing it :)
You won't have to wait that much, now. Just two more weeks (as next week's chapter will be special in a different way than showing Ron and Mendel). You'll like Chapter 13, I think.
As for men: yes, I want to keep it to women. I decided to bother with excuses. Having something work only in people with two chromosomes X is pretty plausible, so that's what I decided to use. To me it was more plausible than accepting that the girls' boyfriends would be too wimpy to use the formula even when Casey was using her size to abuse one of them...
As for not having them come at all: they were very helpful for the plot of Volume 1. Without their boyfriends there Casey would not have started getting rough, the girls would not have started getting apart from each other, Casey would not have had a motivation to get to Henford once the boys escaped and... well, nothing would have happened the way it did.
Cheers!
Date: October 31 2015 6:54 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Vials of reducer, huh? You aren't suggesting...
No, I'm not going to ask.
I will point out out that you went from Casey to Kelly then back to Casey, instead of Lisa. Is it because this was an important thing you wanted to get down before focusing more on the "heroes"?
Can we expect to see Ron and Mendel anytime soon?
I think it's time they made their entrance, but that's just me talking.
Peace out.
Author's Response:
Yes, I'm suggesting that... there are some vials of reducer :)
It's the same reducer that made the girls bigger in Volume 1, in any case, so Casey has certain expectations out of it.
It's true that I broke my regular pace of moving from one girl to the next. It's for a good reason. You will see in next week's chapter. I had not specifically structured it like this, but it's true that from next week onwards there will be more focus on the heroes. I'm afraid that you will need to wait even another week before you see Mendel and Ron again. They will have a much stronger presence in this second part of the story, in any case.
Cheers!
Date: October 27 2015 12:19 PM Title: PROLOGUE
OMG, you forgot again!
Ha!
Sorry, I'm being an asshole, but I could not help noticing that you always conclude your replies in a certain manner. The last two are different.
Author's Response:
Aaaahhhh! Ok...
Cheers!
Date: October 25 2015 5:40 PM Title: PROLOGUE
Heh... ah-heh-heh. Ha-HA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHA!
You forgot!
You actually forgot!
I'm not telling you what!
Author's Response:
Ok... I guess I'll be here when you decide to tell me...
I was trying to understand what could be the point of doing a review to tell me that there is something that you don't want to tell me, but I gave up almost immediately...
Date: October 25 2015 6:17 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Dear god I hope kelly asks for a pedicure
Author's Response:
She is still too busy taking over the world :)
She has not yet reached the point where she is thinking on indulging and commanding people to do things for her...
Thanks for the feedback. I hope you are enjoying what you're reading.
Cheers!
Date: October 25 2015 5:57 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Yeeess. Superman was never bothered by the cold... BUT SHE IS NOT SUPERMAN! She is not a living Solar Battery, that constantly takes in Sunlight. Your rationale is unconvincing here.
So... near death experience? When did she ever have that?
And as for elaboration, this simply is not a fantasy, in any sense other than the fact that their are Giants. Fantasy usually involves imaginary lands, or even other planets. There's possibly magic... the story might have a love plot... and the death toll of innocents is minimal.
If you're aiming for something along the lines of horror/disaster-fantasy, then you're doing just fine.
Cheers.
Author's Response:
I never said that she was Superman... but once someone becomes super-strong like Kelly did, it's more than feasible that this someone is much more resistant to temperature changes. That not taking into account that her skin is 300 times thicker now...
She had two near death experiences that made her grow twice:
- when she was shot in the hotel and then she grew through the hotel's roof, becoming 250 feet tall
- when she voluntarily tried to kill herself with the high voltage cables, making herself grow to 1700 feet in height
Now, regarding whether this is fantasy or now... formally this story is speculative fiction. Fantasy, science-fiction and horror are all sub-genres of speculative fiction. Being "pure", this is not any of the three but takes a little bit of each genre. I think this is common of most giantess stories. I never intended this to be pure fantasy, but just to write a good enough giantess story. I don't know if you'll like the end result or not, but that's what I'm doing...
Cheers! :)
Date: October 24 2015 10:59 AM Title: PROLOGUE
She isn't a goddess, I can say that much.
And she really believes people are just going to submit. She really believes she is UN-BEATABLE and yet she completely forgets the fact that there are stil plenty of ways for her to be killed. I can think of several chemicals that would destroy her, though I can tell that's not how she's going to be beaten. I will say, that there must be some point where someone proves to her JUST HOW WRONG SHE IS.
Of course, the FSD probably knows how to beat her by now (or not), and unless Lisa can figure out how to get bigger, then they are effectively mankind's only hope, the ace in the hole, if you will. There has to be something that happens, something they do that actually makes a difference, or (no offense) I have wasted my time reading this. I don't mean to be rude but unless you have a plan for them to act.... never-mind I won't press the issue.
What I will point out is that Kelly probably has NOT thought about the long term. There is probably not even enough resources on Earth for her to last more then ten years, at her current size. My math might be wonky but seeing that she has easily the appetite of like a million people, it doesn't sound that crazy. If she DOES get bigger, and cannot shrink down, then she IS effectively screwing herself over. She won't be able to sustain herself and allow mankind to sustain themselves.
And BTW, since pain is a key factor to increasing her size, how would she get bigger, unless of course she got hit by a powerful missile to the face... or got punched by a certain giant woman?
Also, you said her body temp. has not changed. What would happen in the winter, huh? Big or not, she'd die of hypothermia. In fact, she has, ah, been inserting buildings right? Any possible repercussions on that one? Probably not, but still...
FYI, this is a good story, but it sucks as a fantasy. If that's what you were aiming for, you missed. Maybe you'll say I'm wrong because you have a different interpretation, but this is still a bit weird.
Finally, what is the time span of this story in terms of? You said it would be a few days. Is that still your goal?
Let me know
Cheers.
Author's Response:
Of course she is not a goddess. This does not mean that she cannot consider herself as such, though. And yes, she has got to the point where she thinks she is unbeatable and people have no other option but to sumbit to her. Her only doubt is how many more lessons she will need to teach them before the world finally bends the knee.
Is she right? Or will someone prove just how wrong she is? Well, this is one of the main mysteries that will be unveiled at the end of this story, of course :P
I already know which of the two outcomes is the one you want (and how much you would hate the other). I'm afraid that, as usual, I'm not going to reveal how the story will progress.
As for the rest of your comments:
- You're right. The FSD is the best chance the world has at fighting Kelly. The Secretary of Defense already admitted that in one of the earlier chapters, even if the President was not on the mood to exercise patiente and let them work unencumbered.
- At her current size, Kelly's needs are still pretty manageable. Being roughtly 300 times taller than an average person, she has 27 milion times the mass. If we rationalize that her nutrional needs are in line with her mass increase, she "just" has similar needs to those of a medium sized country or a big state in the US. She would need more or less the same food that the entire population of Texas. The country (and definitely the world) is definitely able to provide that in a sustainable way. Of course there would be some logistic challenges at the beginning but from a "raw numbers" perspective, she is not at risk of finishing the world's food stockpiles. Of course, if she were to grow bigger that would represent a bigger problem, but she still has some room to go.
- It's not actually pain that can make her get bigger, but actually a near-death experience which triggers the reaction of her body. She had it twice. What she meant when she was speaking to the journalists (even if she did not reveal all the details on purpose) was that she would rather stay her current size but that if somehow humanity did find a way to hurt her enough to nearly kill her, then she would get bigger. That is the mean reason Kelly is absolutely convinced she is unbeatable.
- Her body temp is the regular one, but one of the "nice" side effects of her increased strength/durability is a higher ability to resist cold (I know you will not probably like it... but Superman did not suffer from cold, right?)
- The span of the story will be a couple of days. It's my goal and what it's going to be.
I'm afraid I do not understand your last comment: it's a good story but sucks as fantasy? I'm not saying that you may not be right, but if you could elaborate a little further...
Cheers!
[Report This]Date: October 18 2015 3:20 PM Title: PROLOGUE
Oh sure! It's a great story undoubtedly and I've been
reading it since the beginning. It just lacked this special element of vore, in such a realistic setting, till your latest chapter. It was what actually pushed me to send you a review.
I'm glad to know that reviews from readers are well appreciated, and I think all the authors deserve getting the satisfaction of reviews, since you're sharing your passion with other like minded people for free, for the simple priceless joy of sharing and giving joy to others. We, humble readers, we all thank you :-)
Author's Response:
I really appreciate reviews from readers. I think I'm not exagerating if I say that getting feedback is what keeps motivated to write and post. I'm happy that the vore elements in this chapter pushed you to send a review. I hope I will hear again from you in the future! As you say, it's the only reward that we get, but it's a great reward!
Cheers!
Date: October 17 2015 12:27 PM Title: PROLOGUE
One more thing, I just realized. What if there was a male with an abnomality and an extra X chromosome, would it still not work. Is it the Y chromosome that cancels it out?
To find what I mean, click this link here: ghr.nlm.nih.gov/chromosome/3
Also, I noticed Many wants to be BIG as well. Will you be exploring that in later chapters?
Or this is just showing how similar she is to her cousin?
Author's Response:
Hi there!
You really want to have a male growing and stopping the girls! Honestly, I have not developped the pseudo-science behind the girls' growth nearly enough to determine what would happen if the formula was applied to a man with an abnomaly and two X chromosomes. I guess that we could consider that it's the Y chromosome the one that cancels out the growth. In the second part of the story you'll get an attempt at an explanation of what's making the girls grown and what made Kelly even bigger. Let's scpeculate then?
As for Mandy: yes, she wants to get big. And she won't just accept that her cousin can decide her fate. So, Mandy will show up later in the story, since she is on a mission as well. WIll she succeed? Well, I won't reveal that! :P
I hope that you enjoyed the chapter in any case :)
Cheers!
Date: October 17 2015 4:49 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Loved the amount of fleshing out you gave to Casey, we learned so much about her past and even met her old friends and family! Bravo, easily my favourite chapter of this story!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I'm happy to see you enjoyed this chapter so much. While Casey is pretty much a sadist bitch, I wanted to give her a little more substance and background, so I'm glad that you found that I had more or less met my objectives!
I wanted to thank you for your continued feedback and support for this story. I saw the critique you posted on DA, as well. I also did not know that it was possible to request them until a few weeks ago, when I decided to try clicking on the checkbox. Yours is the first critique I receive and it is very much appreciated. Thanks!
Date: October 14 2015 10:06 AM Title: PROLOGUE
You asked about whether or not I had an teaser? Yes, I do.
Miles Morales (Spider-Man) is still starting out as a super-hero. Peter Parker has left him some big shoes to fill and he seems to be doing just fine.
But when HYDRA unleashes their most daring attack against SHIELD to date, Miles is confronted with a very unexpected opponent. And very hot.
Will the young teen man up and prevail or his latest challenge? Or will he be too busy staring up at her breasts?
For further details:
It will in fact feature an excerpt from Ultimate Spider-Man Vol 2 #18. This will take place from Spidey's POV and go more into depth about what he was thinking of her at the time. It should be about one page, no more.
(Will include Jessica Drew and mention Captain America)
No guarantee when I'll make it. Should be before the end of the year.
Author's Response:
Well, I'll definitely be interested on reading it, once it's ready :)
Date: October 12 2015 6:28 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Oh?English is not your first language? I'm impressed, it doesn't show at all. Good job. Where are you from?
Author's Response:
Nope. I'm from Barcelona, in Spain. My mother tongues are Catalan and Spanish.
I'm glad that not being a native speaker doesn't show too much. I was not too concerned about being able to express myself in English, but there are always some doubts on whether I would be able to master the language enough so that the story would not suffer. I'm sure there are a few grammar errors here and there that I could not catch in the re-reads (or that I basically did not identify as errors) and while I try to use Thesaurus as much as I can, I guess that my vocabulary is not as broad as I would like. I'm happy to see that things are still working well enough, though.
Thanks!
Date: October 11 2015 7:22 PM Title: PROLOGUE
I believe those are called red herrings :)
Author's Response:
I had to look for "red herrings" in Wikipedia. I did not know it (I'm not a native Enligh speaker, after all)! :)
Well, in any case, whether the reference to nukes in the prologue is a "red herring" (placed there to misguide) or a Checkov's gun (if a gun shows in a scene of a play, this gun needs to be used in the play sooner or later), it won't be revealed for a while. At most in 12 chapters, which are the ones that are missing to complete the story ;P
Date: October 11 2015 7:39 AM Title: PROLOGUE
K, don't get me wrong, I like what you're doing with the story, but I wonder if you miiight be overdoing it. You said the story would be shorter the previous one, yet at the rate you're going it seems like it will be at least another six chapters before we reach the climax!
I feel that making each chapter about just one person is only so good for extending the story's length if there are more developments. But so far, nothing Kelly has done, surprises me. It seemed inevitable that she would begin murdering innocents for no reason, as she no longer sees them as humans, rather as insects.
(HINT: WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF SOMEONE TRIED TO SPEAK OUT TO HER!)
She still tries to justify that she's better than Casey would be at this size, but now that's irrelevant. If anything, she's becoming more like Casey, if not worse. When is she finally going to drop the illusion of being a goddess and realize she's just a monster?
Casey, on the other hand, hasn't changed a bit. Obviously, she's out for revenge for all who've wronged her in Henford, but that doesn't need details. One could easily just cut to the chase: leaving the town in ruins clutching the new sheriff in her hands.
The character that I figured you would enjoy the most is Lisa. It's not common to create a benelovent giantess in this forum, that can also think rationally. She's the only one who realizes that all they can do is stomp the smaller people. Not much of a life, right. It's like having intercourse: you get wild for maybe a couple hours, but then the adrenaline fades and the fun is over. Of course, Kelly and Casey are determined to make it last.
Another thing I wanted to bring up was the Side Effects: I always figured from the start that they had ingested a super-strength formula and the side-effect was their growth. IF... and it is an IF, if that is the case, then it is perfectly plausible for men to take it and develop super-strength. I mean you had it stated that the formula works only on women (DID YOU EXPLAIN WHY, SCIENTIFICALLY) but it did NOTHING on men, that's rather. There should be SOME sort of result, unless you're just using the fantasy part of thsi story to rationalize things in which case, forget this paragraph, altogether.
And FYI, if you're going to give the Army, a stupid and completely ineffective operation, don't give a cool name. I liked the idea of Operation Goliath, until I realized the scope of its tactics. Made no sense, because Goliath is male, so you should have used the name Gaia, or Rhea (Greek Titanesses). This is not to complain about Volume 2, but rather for future reference, because I can only assume the President will be launching another direct assault on the girls (maybe all three).
The biggest problem I have is that your fantasy is WAAAYYY too one-sided. You give all the girls massive size AND super-powers to go with them (Diamond hard skin). For the military, you keep things as they would be in this modern day and age, completely forgetting that USA doesn't work like that. You think it's a good excuse that they "didn't think things through" when they were making the FORMULA, but the reality is that Americans would ALWAYS prepare for the worst possible scenario, and have a fail safe. Is it too much to ask that Area 51 has some special super-weapons that might actually be able to HARM the giantesses? If not Kelly, then at least Casey or Lisa. I'm not saying it has to KILL them, but it should have SOME effect, just to put Lisa and Casy on edge, maybe make Kelly want to grow more.
(Have you considered a tac. squad entering Kelly, via her ear and killing her from within? Just a thought...)
Finally, I know you said it would be a while before Ron and the Doc would appear but this getting tedious. You could AT least show Ron listening to the radio, gasping at the death toll, while Mendel is progressing with research for an antidote... ONE PARARGRAPH IS ALL I ASK...
That's all I got for now. I MIGHT be doing a story of my own in November about MILES MORALES: THE ULTIMATE SPIDERMAN and his fight VS CASSIE LANG.
I still like you story and you can ignore my suggestions if you want, but I should think I am making SOME sense!!
Cheers!
Author's Response:
Well, I think I covered a few of the topics in the previous response. To start by the end: You are making sense. I think I know where some of the discrepancies are coming from. I'd say that there are two:
- My set-up and rules for the fantasy world of Side Effects are different from the ones you would have chosen. I covered something in my previous answer, but I will try to answer to the other points you raised in the remainder of this one
- The pace of the story. This first chapters of Side Effects Volume 3 are quite slow. They are quite descriptive, but not so much time has passed. They would be almost the introduction of the story, since none of the three women have actually started to pursue their agenda in full. I invested time in explaining Kelly's fall into her delusional state, in giving Lisa a purpose (to stop Kelly) and on setting Casey on her new objective (which is to find the leftover formula from Volume 1 and grow). The next chapter (with Casey) will be kind of the transition between the introduction and the real action that will bring the characters to their objectives. And the conclusion will still need to wait quite alot. I know that you are eager to see what's going on, how the people are going to be able to fight the women and whether they will succeed. But that will not happen until the climax, necessarily. Many of your questions will be answered during the story: people will get smarter when fighting them, Ron and Mendel will progress in their investigation, the women will face opposition... but when that happens things are going to move relatively quick. I wanted Side Effects to be detailed in how some things were covered and this is pushing the part of the story you are eager to read away, which I think is making you judge some long introduction chapters as if they were conclusion. I'm afraid that this is going to be like this for a while... so I'm afraid that the only thing I can do is to ask you for patience...
BTW, Volume 3 won't be shorter than Volume 2. It's 20 chapters long (which is 3 chapters less), but each chapter is quite longer. Overall, Vol. 3 is 115K words long versus the 87K words of Vol. 2...
The reason I'm focusing on a character per chapter (mostly) is to make it easier to follow the story and to be able to get detailed. Actually, when I did a "cross-roads" chapter (like ch. 5), I received feedback that it was confusing...
Now, let me go to your specific comments:
- I think Kelly will surprise you. As I said, these initial chapters were a long introduction that intended to show her evolution (or her fall). I know that her actions might not be surprising if you were already expecting her to go on a rampage (which you did), but to me the focus was to describe how she tried to rationalize it in her head, and I think that at least this was somewhat original...
- Kelly will never realize that she has become a monster. That's the way her head is working (and what I'm trying to describe in her chapters...)
- I will invest time in describing Casey's actions. I know that you will probably enjoy them less than some other readers, but she is getting back to her hometown with the objective to grow but where she also has some loose ends... in the end, not every chapter in a story needs to move at a quick pace towards the conclusion. Sometimes, the progress is slower and the chapter is more descriptive. These chapters are needed to provide some depth to the characters or the situation that a more rushed chapter would not have. There will be a few of those... I think that the problem with them, from your perspective, is that you need to wait a full week to read the next. If you had the complete story in your hands they would probably be less of an issue.
- Kelly is not treating her size as an extended "intercourse". While she enjoys what she does enormously, she really has a long term agenda in mind. Casey, on the other side, is more than willing to "fuck" the world for as long as she can. Of course, it doesn't look like her plan is sustainable, but she never cared about those things.
- About the growth: I explained some (and I'll try to explain some more). It will not hold a detailed scientific analysis, of course (otherwise, we would have real growth formulas), but the summary would be: the formula that causes the growth makes a change on both chromosome X that is required for this growth. Humans without 2 X chromosomes cannot be affected by the formula. So, males see no effect. About the strength: it's a consequence of the square-cube law. Any animal growing too much would not be able to hold its own weight because the weight increases with the cube of the growth factor while the strength only increases with the square (since it depends on the muscle section). So, for a human being to become giant, something needs to make this human grow but this same something needs to increase his strength further. Once you accept this, it's up to the author (in this case me :) to decide whether to make the strength increase just enough to keep the new weight or bring it quite further, like in this case.
- America's plan to deal with the formula was to create it and control it in the first place. They would have never put it to work if they had not had a way to reduce or keep the subject under control. The problem is that the girls grew when no one expected them to retain the ability to do so, which kind of caught the government unaware. Having said that, they had a plan, which consisted on using a fast reaction force to attack the girls with conventional weapons. Since all they knew was that they could get 100 feet tall and they knew nothing about their increased strength (it's not as if they could study them while they were big), they were convinced that anti-tank weaponry would be more than enough (if it can sink an aircraft carrier and destroy an armored vehicle, why should a missile not kill a hundred foot woman?). Of course, they were wrong. I know that you don't like the conflicts so far to have been so one-sided, but if the army had had an effective way to kill them right after their growth, the story would have finished several months ago...
- Some people suggested the team getting into Kelly's ear before. I never consider it for this story. Who knows, I may leverage the idea for future works (although I'm not sure I will write abouta woman as massive as Kelly in the near future; I tend to prefer smaller giantesses)
- I'm afraid Ron and Mendel won't show up in the coming couple or three chapters. When they show up they will get protagonism quickly enough. But I can assure you that they are moving and working as fast as they can!
Cheers!
P.S. I'll be interested on the story you are writing. Any teasers on what the storyline would be?
Date: October 10 2015 5:40 PM Title: PROLOGUE
The nuke is coming, the pilot was covering for it. I like Kelly, not the kind of giantess I'd want around in real life( my stories generally have the kind I'd want in real life) but her quest for power is easily the most fascinating part of this story.
Well done, I get excited everytime you update this story!
Author's Response:
Well, as usual, I will not be revealing spoilers :) Chekov's guns sometimes are not what they seem ;)
Of course, no one would like a giantess like Kelly around in real life. But her quest for power is what is keeping this story going.
I'm happy that you are enjoying it so much. Thanks, as usual for taking the time to share your thoughts. It is very much appreciated.
Cheers!
Date: October 10 2015 1:13 PM Title: PROLOGUE
My God, can she get anymore delusional?
FYI, I don't like the fact that you call this a fantasy yet limit the army to regular weapons. You make it possible for a weapon of MD (Mass Destruction) such as the formula, yet no counter-measures for it. You can't seriously expect me to believe that "they didn't think it all the way through" BS. USA's a highly paranoid country and to have no super-weapons in this new age is ludicrous.
Something that could at least hurt them, even to minor scale should not be discounted!
I have more to say, but that will have to wait.
Can't wait for Lisa's next chapter... and Ron and Mendel's debut!
Author's Response:
Yes, she can get more delusional. Since her growth she has fallen quite quickly into it, but there is still some room for evolution. This evolution will have a certain twist, though. Kelly is killing people by the thousands and doesn't care too much about it, but she really has a plan. You'll see.
I know that you hate the fact that the army is ineffective agaisnt the women, especially Kelly. So far, their lack of effectiveness has been driven by the fact that the women have become much stronger than they should (and that anyone could imagine) but also by the fact that the response has been quite uncoordinated since they haven't had material time to work on it.
This story is a fantasy (obviously, any story about a giant woman needs to be a fantasy), but in the end, it is important for fantasy to set the scenario and the ground rules and then to make the story evolve from there, without changing them as you go. In Side Effects the scenario is the real world and the ground rules are that everything in the world is exactly how we know it except for the fact that three women have grown much bigger and have become much stronger due to an experiment the government did not pay the necessary attention to. I know you would prefer the setting to be a little different, but I'm just trying to keep faithful to the scenario and rules I set since I started Volume 2...
BTW, I never said anywhere in the story that there was nothing that could hurt the women. When she was 250 feet tall Kelly was hurt. Now she is much bigger, so the weapons that hurt her before will not hurt her now, but there are other weaponsin the arsenal.
I'm happy that besides everything you are still more or less enjoying the story. Thanks for the feedback, as always! I may agree or may not agree, but it's interesting to discuss it and as I mentioned a couple of times, it makes me think when I'm writing new chapters or new stories (which is the case right now, since Side Effects 3 is pretty much written).
Cheers!
P.S. I'm preparing the answer to your other, much longer post now :)
Date: September 26 2015 8:16 PM Title: PROLOGUE
I disagree with you considering her destruction of the Pentagon an evoultion in her character. She was already betshit crazy with power and had previously rationalized her crushing of innocents as inavoidable.
I wonder if you might be using Kelly too much for this story. Unless you intend to have someone either (a) HURT HER or (b) Suprise her
For example, someone delivers a logical and passionate speech about how she is no God and she will not be able to rule over anyone on her own. After all, it is obvious she is going to just step on people or play with them sadistcally. Either way, the human race will not surrender because it is human nature to not yield. Something like that.
BTW, does she know the President has left Washington?
At least I'm asuuming he has, or you're a crappy writer (no offense) because he's had plenty of warning and plenty of time to get out. So has the Vice President, and both of them should be at least twenty thousand feet above ground.
(WHAT ARE RON AND DR. MENDEL DOING??? WHERE ARE THEY???)
Aside from all that, good chapter, made me hate Hanson even more now.
"Cheers!"
Author's Response:
Well, I disagree with your disagreement ;)
It's very true that she is drunk with power and that she has previously rationalized that killing innocent people will be unavoidable. What has changed this time is that she is not accepting several deaths by accident. This time she is killing thousands of people on purpose and has created a justification for that that works well inside her head. She had previously killed thousands, but "only" in the heat of the battle. Now she has tagged an entire group of people as enemies and reached the conclusion that she is well within her rights to destroy them. This is yet another step in her dark path...
Kelly will be by far the character with more time in the story. Someone told me that since she has now become an antagonist (quite obviously), this might be causing some issues. I don't know if that is the case. I guess it could be, depending on the reader. In any case, Kelly is the character that is driving the story forward. Right now, both Casey and Lisa are reacting to Kelly's status or Kelly's actions. Kelly is the one that is creating a new storyline. This is the reason she is getting more attention (besides the fact that to me she is the most interesting character to write).
As for what will happen to her? As usual, I won't reveal any spoilers. I will just point out again that Kelly is an antagonist in this story. This has implications in the storyline...
The President has left Washington (he is still in the Air Force One, as in the previous chapter). Of course, Kelly does not know it (she has no means at all to know it), so she is heading for Washington with the "hope" of finding him there. In any case, finding the President is relevant but not key to her plans.
And Ron and Dr. Mendel will show up in the story, and when they do they will be very important. It's still a few more chapters before that happens, though.
I'm glad that you liked the chapter besides the points you disagreed on. I had already guesses that you would hate Kelly more after what she has done. No matter what she might rationalize in her head, slaughtering people by the thousands does not turn someone more popular...
I guess I'll change my typical ending, just for the sake of being unpredictable :P
Have fun!
Date: September 26 2015 10:34 AM Title: PROLOGUE
I could suggest being more descriptive when the giantesses are on a rampage, really physically describe it even more so it paints an even clearer picture of it. Just a suggestion.
Author's Response:
I typically choose the level of "descriptiveness" depending on the chapter. Sometimes I deliberately stay away from getting more into the details in order to keep the pace going. Some other times I pay some attention to a specific scene and then move faster through some other action. I would say that this chapter is more or less in the middle in terms of "speed". There will be some other chapters where the rampage is going to be described with much more detail (and some others where the action will be hinted more than anything else).
I hope that I chose the right mix... you'll tell me as you read them.
Cheers!
Date: September 26 2015 10:14 AM Title: PROLOGUE
Haha I know but its infuriating when your story doesn't even last the night as most recent.
I can tell you love Kelly and so far you are right, this is the most intense action yet but I really hope its not the best because I want you to impress me.
Author's Response:
I know the feeling of having the story out of the most recent...
I can tell you that there will be a few more action packed chapters, some of them with Kelly. Chapter 6 is among my favorite ones, but I believe that there will be a couple of chapters closer to the end that you will especially enjoy. Having said this, I hope that you will also enjoy the chapters in between! :)
Cheers!