Date: August 13 2015 11:15 AM Title: Chapter 2
Interesting to say the least.
[Report This]Date: August 12 2015 7:59 PM Title: Chapter 2
I'm starting to think that maybe Anna's dad wasn't really an evil man, but knew what his daughter (son? Gender identity issues+scars=possible castration and raised femme?) was destined to become and tried to stop it before it came to pass.
The only thing that irks me (which honestly is a personal thing) is that people in these situations go for years without knowing what they "truly" are then suddenly their sweet persona goes total 180 murderous. I don't know. Your story's great.
Author's Response:
Thank you taking the time to review. Your observation of Anna's father is very astute. Is he a deranged madman trying to promote the transformation or is he a doting father who knows what's coming and trying to prevent it. I want to keep that ambiguous until it's time to wrap this up. Anna is definitely female. Your peeve about suddenly personality inversion without some plausible explanation is well found and undermines a good story. Hopefully mine will make sense and not diminish this yarn. :)
[Report This]Date: August 12 2015 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 2
Ok, now this just got a whole lot better!
Classroom scenes are always fun to read.
The part where Anna turned around at Scar Baby, well, it felt like Veronica was the one who turned around because after Veronica said "pig". You mentioned "she turned around" "she heard the word" and there was no mention of Anna until the very end when she turned back to the front of the class. Just that part might need a fix, but otherwise a fantastic chapter!
(Spoiler) Blood gushing from the wrist? Reminds me of a scene from Ex Machina.
Anna is a witch! Or at least I think she is. That's one girl you don't want to mess with. Not sure if Trent learned his lesson. I mean, he still had no idea that Anna caused it. I was expecting him to point at Anna, but I guess that won't work. Mr. Collins likes Anna.
Good stuff. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks Tom, I'm glad you stuck it out as the puzzle pieces fall into place. I fixed the grammar to eliminate the confusion, again thanks - next chapter we look at Anna's past a little more thoroughly.