[Report This]Date: August 06 2017 6:02 AM Title: The Big Game
It's hard to describe this chapter, I mean.. it’s perfect!
I won't change a single word in it.. it's an exemplary piece of art that explains a devastating rampage in deep details.
I rarely read things like this, capable of summoning so strong images in my mind and for sure I’ll come back to read the improved version once you will have published it. :)
If I really have to find an issue in this chapter, then here it is, but first a preamble: In the end, I realized that Jasmin is 1/3 of Alli. That means that to her, Haile is between 750 and 800 feet tall.
I didn't realized it until the end. I don’t know if it’s my fault, but I thought Haile was still 250 feet tall for the tiny people.. and for this reason some aspects seemed a little inaccurate.
In the end though I realized my mistake.
Maybe you should add more size comparison in the first part that makes the reader fully aware that we are in a different sized world, where Haile is much bigger and powerful than usual.
As for the rest.. AWESOME WORK! **claps**
Date: January 25 2017 5:09 AM Title: The Big Game
I've only just come across this story but I have to say it's amazing.
I love how unrepentantly cruel Haile is to the tinies, with not the slightest bit of empathy even for ones she knows by name.
And the way that juxtaposes with her acting normally, even shyly, around people her own size is great.
For my own personal tastes I love the emphasis on shrunken women and lesbianism, which is fairly rare for a violent giantess tale.
I'm hoping there'll be a new chapter soon and we'll find out exactly what she did in the stadium, and whether Ali and Jasmin manage to survive.
Author's Response:
There will be something about the stadium eventually! I just couldn't resist dangling that bit of "information gap" in there, it's hard to do, trust me! Part I isn't called "The Monster" for no reason! Haile is truly something awful and I love her character with all my creative powers. As I've always said to other people, "Write the story you want to read." And that's what I'm doing with Haile's; although I feel like I've finally done enough "world building" and "character developement" so now I can concentrate on other things in Part II and Part III. Thanks for the review and I hope you like the next bit!
[Report This]Date: November 14 2016 4:28 PM Title: The Big Game
Brutal. That's the only way I can describe this chapter. I think all this blood and gore might be starting to get to me, I'm usually not a huge fan of violent but I put up with it if the story is good enough but this chapter really got to me. It doesn't help that you're desctriptions are so well written that I can almost hear bones being broken and flesh being torn to pieces. Haile is unapologetically evil beyond repair!
As for the tinies, one thing that's always struck me as odd about this story (and alot of violent stories lets be honest) is that the tinies either don't fight back or barely do so. You've mentioned before how Haile is basically a giant human with no special powers of any kind so I don't think she'd be invulnerable to a missle or something. It's just a thought, I'm sure you don't intend for people to take this story too seriously either way...
Anyway Im not sure if I'll continue with this story or not, it's up in the air, but I wish you the best! You're an great writer and don't let anyone tell you differently! It's just this story might not be everyone's cup of tea..
Author's Response:
I appreciate the fact that you've stuck it out this long. It is by far the most brutal story I've ever written and it too has gotten to me as well. But, Haile is a character and it's all within her parameters. There have been times she's been injured before and there will be times where she's injured again. People don't just take getting eaten lying down! But she does stack the odds in her favor. People taking it as serious or not, who knows. There's a LOT of little details here and there that are telling another story if you completely ignore all of the blood and gore, etc. For example, Haile's use of her phone to control information so that 'news of her' doesn't escape the city. And then her use of Electromagnetic Pulses help keep her 'crimes' hidden from public view. Of course none of this is outright said in the story, but it's all there in the text if you "think about it" and such. Anyway, if this chapter was too much then the next one will defnitely be too much; but it's the climactic conclusion to Part I of the story, and Part II will be completely different. Not trying to lure you into the next chapter or anything, but there'll be caution tape and such around the next bit!
Thanks again for your honest review and time!
[Report This]Date: November 14 2016 12:27 AM Title: The Big Game
Great stuff.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the stars!
Date: November 13 2016 11:10 PM Title: The Big Game
Now THIS is a pleasant surprise! Glad to see you're still adding to this story.
Darn it, now I gotta go re-read Melanie and Kendra, they were some of the first stories I remember reading on this site.
Author's Response:
Thank you! Hopefully I haven't messed them up too much. I deleted them in a fit of madness a long time ago and I'm reposting them with edits and additions. I hope it's not a memory ruined!