[Report This]Date: April 27 2015 4:09 PM Title: Chapter 12: Death
Excellent chapter, but how the heck would Caroline even think about searching her rommate's panty drawer?
I would've imagined that Caroline would've been mad at her roommate for stealing him and putting him in that drawer, because her roommate probably thought that no one would open that drawer besides her.
I love it when Kara sounds smart! She made that scene look like it was her whole plan and it was! I can't wait to see what she has in store for him, especially when she claims that a day isn't enough.
Ok, he's dead to the public, but it didn't change my perspective on how doomed the guy is. I mean, he was already doomed. Lol. However, you do make a good point by making this death become significant to our protagonist becuase now he knows that no one will look for him. I like it.
What is our protagonists name? I keep forgetting.
He should've warmed up to Kara instead of Caroline. Why would he ask for the crueler of the two for some sympathy? Unless, Kara is going to be more cruel in the future.
Hoping for some Kara sexy time next, but it's your choice to decide what happens next. I'm just trying to influence you. :)
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Thanks. In regards to some of your qustions:
Caroline searched her entire apparetment for him before rumuging through her roomates room. This is why Kara was waiting for her because she was late. However i feel the previous chapter before that could have ended better and therefore this one started better.
I've actually written the story without a name for protagonist which seems silly but i plan on keeping it that way. hopefully it allows people to become more imerssed in the story. So you weren't forgetting, but thinking you had probably was what i was going for
Warmed up to Caroline because she was the only person in the room he could have convinced to stop this plan. Also while he doesn't like Caroline he has not enjoyed being under Kara's feet also.
Anyway thanks for the feedback
Date: April 27 2015 6:41 AM Title: Chapter 12: Death
What I just don't understand is why Caroline is so cruel to him. She claims to be a nice person, yet she starved and tormented him. I think this story could use either a rational explanation of why, or her realizing how awful a person she is.
Author's Response:
I justed wanted to show what a fluctuating peronality it is. I want people so see that Caroline can be nice as a normal person, yet crazy and controling. Really two sides of Caroline battliing each other, and i think in real life somebody would have this problem if this scenario was real. But yes i should probably word that into the story somewhere