Reviewer: lightwing Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2018 5:57 PM Title: Episode 1...The Apprentice pt 1

I really like the concept of the apprentice series, that there is a race of immortal, beautiful women with magic powers who live in secret and shrink people for pleasure and food.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: May 02 2015 1:50 AM Title: Episode 1...The Apprentice pt 1

Penny could have lied about it, declared the zone too dangerous for human ships and cordoned off the area or simply just cancelled the distress signal.

Her decision not to return would just draw more people in to look for their missing member and then it'll be hell to pay .

Author's Response:

Well she could've lied about it but the army knew mythrilite was there (because of the probes) so that wouldn't work. She could've just not sent the distress call. The reason I had her shoot it was the same reason Cortez burned his ships when he reached the New World and gave her a better incentive to make a new life.

 

Her disappearance would have been understandable during a time of war. They would have simply written her off as MIA (presumed destroyed by the enemy) and unlikely used valuable resources to look for her. But you never know.... :)

Reviewer: Amateur Wordsmith Signed [Report This]
Date: February 07 2015 5:05 PM Title: Episode 1...The Apprentice pt 1

I have only read the first chapter, so forgive me if this review is a bit premature.

First off I must say that this is very well written, plenty of rich details that use a wide range of vocabulary. I also enjoyed the teacher/ student angle which was a good change of pace from the usual style around here. The dialogue between them in particular was a treat to read.

Which brings me to my one and only complaint which is that dialogue between characters is usually separated by paragraph to make it easier on the reader.

All and all a pleasant reading experience

 

 

Author's Response: I get what you're saying about the dialogue. It would work if my stories were short but they're not. If I did it that way the page count would be massive. At first I considered two styles of how to handle dialog. One is that way and the other is what I do now. That's why I end dialogue with he said she said etc. thanks for the review and I'm glad you're enjoying the story :)

Reviewer: Size Master Signed [Report This]
Date: January 30 2015 4:19 PM Title: Episode 1...The Apprentice pt 1

Thanks for the review. Writing episodic is very different to what I did in the past. When I look back at invasion I'm blown away at how many pages I wrote. I could literally fill a novel with it. Standalone episodes are hard! I think many people like stories and just feel shy about writing a review. (I'm guilty of it too ^_^). The next episode will drop sometime tonight so get ready!