Date: August 29 2011 5:28 PM Title: Chapter 36
Hello, Cayce. I am aware that you’ve taken a very long leave of absence from this site, which is unfortunate for myself and many of your other fans, because you are truly in tune with the giantess fantasy: you understand nearly as well as possible, I believe, how to take the enticing spirit of the fetish and elevate it to something more.
COMPLIMENTS: What can I say? There’s a lot to comment on. Your narrative itself is perhaps what makes this the strongest and, in my humble opinion, the greatest story on the site. You focused entirely on creating a 100% believable story before integrating admittedly arousing elements of the actual fetish, and yet it all fits together like the perfect literary PBJ. Few pieces of dangling illogic show up, and honestly, a connection to the plot itself is made far easier because of this. I felt myself being inserted fully into the story, living out the events from the perspective of your hapless character, because the story flowed so naturally, once the hump of unreality is crossed; indeed, you made it a hump easily crossed.
Your characters are stunningly well-realized. You managed to craft half a dozen, if not more, fully-developed giantess characters, each with a unique personality and interactions with the main character. Perhaps best of all, though, was how they ran the gamut of genre types, six of which stand out most clearly to me: you had a calculating, conniving woman as the primary antagonist. You had a disgusting and subtly clever best friend of the mother who knew how to be a complete psychopath, and yet stay cool the whole time. You had an entirely becoming and likeable love interest, whom I actually sympathized with the main character’s attraction toward. You had a mischievous stepsister, and you managed to make the interactions somewhat sexy without making it become creepy between them. You had a best “friend” for the stepsister, who was an excellent younger reflection of her mother. Finally, you had a humiliating step-mother character (the best of the story, in my opinion) who managed to be a terrifying, dominating source of power without having her resort to abject, destructive cruelty.
The variety of scenarios is excellent. As you’ll see in the below section, one particular aspect of this felt slightly out of place for me, but for the most part, I was surprised by the glorious amount of varying situational breakdowns of your protagonist’s psych and emotional fortitude. Just when it seems like it’s not going to get worse, it does, and because, as I mentioned, the human element is so thoroughly adhesive to the reader, you get to feel each unique mini-adventure along with the character, and that’s fantastic. A favorite moment is nearly impossible to pick, but one in particular stands out to me: the Oreo crushing scene with Kimmy as Ray slowly starves in her captivity. Sheer, maniacal brilliance for both characters. It’s a scene I plan on rereading from time to time.
THE CRITIQUES: There aren’t many to give on my part for this category, but here we go anyway. Honestly, my biggest complaint I can possibly level is that the story is so foot-focused, and it’s so long, that I almost wished I could have seen other genres pop up more frequently. You certainly fit in several others in a few occasions, but for the most part, it’s a gigantic footfest, no pun intended. Granted, you keep the tension and enjoyment factor up commendably well in these segments, but still, a tiny bit more variety would have been greatly appreciated, especially having seen how well you write “foot” scenes; I would have liked to see some more showcasing for a few of the related genres that could have fit in with the tale just fine and left room for the feet spotlights.
One other tiny suggestion I might make is to be aware of your character’s relative “catchphrases” throughout the progressing storyline, as he tends to repeat similar phrasings on more than one occasion. I know this is bound to happen in such a lengthy story, and many probably won’t even notice it, but it was a tiny reminder to me of the character’s fictional nature. Again, this is but a tiny blemish on an otherwise phenomenal story.
Author's Response: Thanks for the extensive review (and the utterly reasonable critiques =) I know I've been incommunicado for a while, but I'm still around! I've been lurking quite a bit, and working (intermittently) on a new story. Homunculus was the first thing I wrote for this group, and while I remain quite proud of it (especially the ending), there are a few things I would do differently if I were writing it today. But such is the peril of publishing a chapter at a time! My favorite stories on these boards have always been the ones with relatable, realistic characters. When I first started this story, I was basically aping the authors whose stories I most enjoyed (Nemo, Jamie, Branford, DX Machina, and Canuck, to name a few). Nemo in particular has a talent for taking a cliched giantess scenario, deconstructing the crap out of it, and turning it into something totally unique. I'm quite fond of the Oreo scene as well, as well as the first bath scene with Cheryl (which was admittedly inspired by Branford's Bad Day for Shopping). I like most of Ray's interactions with his stepsister Nicole, but there's one that felt wrong and a little out of place when I wrote it, and I've never warmed up to it. I wrote it in reaction to a debate that was raging at the time on the now defunct Giantess Magic message board, where some rather strident members of the community were insisting that merely acknowledging the existence of children in a story was the same thing as child pornography. But going back and rereading the scene, it now seems hamfisted and ill-advised. As you said the repetitiveness is a symptom of a lengthy story, especially one that is published a chapter at a time. I often come up with a particular turn of phrase that I like, and I forget to check and see if I've already used it or not. If I showed this stuff to my editor, I'm sure she would catch those mistakes and slice them out post haste. But when you're editing your own work and publishing piecemeal over the course of a couple of years, that kind of thing tends to slip under the radar. It's a fair cop on the "gigantic footfest" (heh!), and I'll readily admit that those scenes are what really drove me to write this story. Again, my editor would probably cut most of that stuff out as superfluous (and would likely advise me to "quit writing about goddamn feet and go get laid or something"--she talks like a sailor, that one). But as any writer will tell you, killing your own darlings is a difficult thing to do. Thanks again for reading the story and for the great review!
[Report This]Date: July 29 2011 1:16 AM Title: Chapter 1
I really like this story. It kept me interrested. Hope you make more stories like this.
Date: May 30 2011 12:27 PM Title: Chapter 1
Cayce this is the GREATEST story
I have read in years!I beg you to make a sequel.PLEEEEEEASE!!
[Report This]Date: May 19 2011 10:55 PM Title: Chapter 1
omg please contine this story mate i got to have more your so Awesome !!!
Date: March 20 2011 6:33 PM Title: Chapter 4
I wish that you would have let Him suffer in her sock for the rest of the night, and than in the morning be placed in Naomis High Heels or something, too bad.
[Report This]Date: February 19 2011 8:12 AM Title: Chapter 1
I was blown away by this story. The writing was of such high calibre and the plot was gripping even outside the macro content. What particularly stood out for me was that there were no clear villains, everyone had a reason for acting the way they did (cruel or not).
Date: February 02 2011 9:55 PM Title: Chapter 18
no thank you. I enjoyed reading it.
and just to clarify things i meant the final line of chapter 18. not the very last line of the last chapter. I'll get to reviewing that chapter one of these days
Date: January 28 2011 3:03 PM Title: Chapter 1
Cayce, When are you gunna give us the one in the shoe store? Im really looking forward too it!
Author's Response: I was joking when I said that, I'm afraid. Guess it's hard to tell sometimes. Sorry I got your hopes up =(
[Report This]Date: January 09 2011 11:41 PM Title: Chapter 18
nice surprise twist and the final line was a nice touch.
Author's Response: I'm rather happy with the ending myself, so I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading, Mr. E!
[Report This]Date: December 03 2010 7:44 PM Title: Chapter 1
Easily one of the best stories on this site. im only on chapter 15 but thats beacause every time i take a break form the story i reread the old chapters to keep it fresh in my memory.
a sequel would be cool but another original idea woould be better in my opinion
Date: November 28 2010 7:56 PM Title: Chapter 1
Hey Cayce, Just wondering when your coming out with the new story in the shoe store?
Date: July 25 2010 9:43 PM Title: Chapter 1
I loved it But try to put more Bigh heels on your story
Author's Response: I'll set the next one in a shoe store. How's that?
[Report This]Date: January 05 2010 6:21 PM Title: Chapter 1
man you really out did yourself! You know how to pull someone in don't you? Anyway greatest story evar!?!
Author's Response: I appreciate that! It was my first and still my favorite =)
[Report This]Date: May 15 2009 6:05 PM Title: Chapter 1
Man this is great, it's hot and yet it has a plot which keeps you reading and reading, read it in one sitting it was GREAT!
Author's Response: Wow. I can't even read it in one sitting, and I wrote the damn thing. Thanks, SB. Glad you liked it!
Date: December 06 2008 5:15 PM Title: Chapter 1
Dude that was amazing. It's discribed perfectly. Every foot scene, even walking was so discriptive. It go me into the stroy, and i felt Ray's pain. You should cntinue to write more stories here on GIANTESS PLANET. Thank you for being apart of this.
NITROTIX
Author's Response: If I didn't write so damned slowly, I totally *would* write more stories here on GIANTESS PLANET. I've got one more planned after I finish my current one (Summer Job). After that, who knows? I'll probably be in my nineties. Glad you liked it, Nitrotix. Thanks!
[Report This]Date: November 04 2008 6:06 PM Title: Chapter 1
Well, I got to say man this is one hell of work. I was very moved by our hero as he battled against the world at an Action Figure height. I love the style of how it was wrote and it kept the story going. The torture scenes with Naomi, Cheryl and the rest of the horrible sluts made really feel bad for him as things get worst and worst.
On other notes I was extremely happy as Ray used his mind and wits to find the best possible solution. Going against the odds and doing anything he can. Again I was easily affected once the shit happens and his plans backfires.
Each character fulfill their roles perfectly. I especially enjoyed the moments with Nicole and Suzy as our hero finally gets a break. I'm a feet man myself at times so the scenes with those two were awesome.
Oi and another thing I like was the jokes, philosophy and Ray's reasoning through out the story. But at the end, the last chapter has to be down right the best of the whole story. Our hero finally having a happy ending seems to me the best ending possible. Though I would wish that Nicole can somehow escape away from her cruel mother and stay with Ray. Their relationship seems too cute to break up like that. Find me heartless but I laughed when they found Paul dead along with Rachel in a coma and Naomi crying. The perfect karma, revenge, and epiphany and all that. Dues Ex Machinima indeed=D
Author's Response: There's a lot of brutality in the story and, frankly, I would have never been able to write it if I hadn't known from the outset that I was going to give Ray a happy ending. I did leave a few plot threads dangling, and once I finish my current opus (Summer Job), I'd like to write another story about Ray and Suzy, set several years after the first. Will Nicole still be living with her mother? Will Rachel still be in a coma? Will Ray's father still be dead? Tune in and find out! Thanks for reading, Westland!
[Report This]Date: October 29 2008 4:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
The best 8 hours of my life well spent. Indeed I could not stop reading this story. I do not know why, but I just couldn't. That usually never happens to me but I ain't complaining. The story the chracters all of it was beleiveable and sucked me right in.
The ending was surprising to as I thought Ray was done for but could't help but feel joy for the chracter. During the story I actually felt for the guy. I leaped from my chair and laughed when something good finally happened to Ray and utter saddness when things looked down. I will recommend this story to my friends not for the GTS or the sexual encounters but for the chracters and how the world treated one boy who could not "fight" back.
Thank you for your hard work in this Novel and I look foward to reading any work you do.
Author's Response: Those bits where Ray does fight back were a lot of fun to write. There's a gleeful abandon to the way he acts every time he gets the upper hand. He knows he'll be punished for it eventually, but he just doesn't care. Glad you liked it, Redius. Thanks!
[Report This]Date: October 24 2008 10:11 PM Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed this story. It was very well-written and flowed nicely. I especially liked the part where Naomi stomps on the car.
My creative writing teacher once said that if you introduce a gun into the story, it has to go off before the end. That's exactly what went through my head when the car first appeared. I knew it would meet a fateful end.
Again, well done.
Author's Response: I think I had that same creative writing teacher ;-) Thanks, Alpha. Glad you liked it!
Date: September 02 2008 10:59 AM Title: Chapter 1
Man this story had me on the edge of my seat. It had action, love, hate, drama, torture, enslavement, giantess, and my favorite feet.
It had my attention the whole time. It seemed to drag on in some parts, but that is one of the things that kept me interested. I could picture the story as it happened, also you didn't reveal anything to the reader kept the reader on his toes. I would say this story is one of the most well-written stories I've ever read.
Yo, you got mad skills!
Author's Response: What, me? Mad skills? Rad!!!
[Report This]Date: April 15 2008 9:45 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is the best I have ever read ever on this site, period. This is going to be a bit of a long review, but you deserve it, for the sheer length of this story.
I first looked at this story when I looked at the little sidebar to the left showing the 3 most recent stories. I picked the one with the R rating, just because I was in that sort of mood. I decided to see if you had any other stories, and came across this one.
I gasped when I read the word count was nearing 150,000 words. That is very hefty for a fan fiction. The most recent book I read was around 220,000 words (Stranger in a Strange Land, if you care to know), and this was pretty damn close in my book. Then I saw the number of reviews. 11. I felt this doesn't do something of this length any justice at all, considering you put so much work into it. I decided to read it a bit, to see if it was because your writing style was poor. I read some of intro, and concluded this was clearly not the case, and that people have just too small of an attention span.
I made the decision to read your novel (yes, it's a novel) in its entirety, partly because it was good enough to keep me interested, and partly do it justice. You put much effort into this, I can tell, just by the sheer number of words it contains. So often, I see great stories written by people that never end of getting completed. But you completed this one. And that made it worthy of reading. So no more than 8 hours ago, I bit into it. 5 hours later, I'm at the part shortly after he comes back after "running away". I felt the suspense at what was going to happen next, true and utter suspense, not some of idle curiosity about what's coming, but real suspense. Then I did a double-check. You got me caring about this character to the point where I am sweating my balls off wondering just what in the devil's unholy and god damned name is going to happen to him at one of the many climaxes of this story. And that statement is true in more than one way har har har.
This basically chiseled into the stone tablet of my brain that you, my friend, write a very mean story. Thus, I decided to review this grand tale. After finishing it, I sat back and am typing the review you now see before you. This story has been long, and I honestly can say I did not want it to end. Seriously. I would like to see a sequel, possibly starting it off sometime around the Christmas vacation in which he gets to see Suzy, but I'm not sure. Anyways, the point is this is a great story, and deserves great praise. You my friend have a resolve I have rarely seen before, and were it not for the content of this story (GTS in general) I would fully urge you to try and get it published. Hell, try to anyways; you might have a shot at landing in the "alternative literature" section of the bookstore.
So there you have it. A long winded review. I babbled a lot, but I just felt I had to say so much about this novel. Yes, by definition of length, it is a novel. I will read all your work from here on out, and will graciously review any story you write. You my good sir are a great writer.Author's Response: Thanks, Natch! I appreciate the thoughtful review and the high praise. I don't think I'll ever actually submit it (I wrote it between chapters of a "real" novel whenever I wanted to cut loose and blow off some steam). I know it meanders considerably at times and tends to be repetitive (one of the dangers of publishing a chapter at a time), but I'm still quite proud of how it turned out.rnrnI'm planning on a sequel that will tie HOMUNCULUS and THE SUMMER JOB together. Of course, the rate I write these things, I may die of old age before I get started ;-)rnrnThanks again!