[Report This]Date: May 19 2014 3:47 PM Title: Chapter 1
I think this needs a better explanation as to why shes so bloodthirsty...I dont think 'the world fucked me over' is sufficient if she was a half-decent person before this. Of course, her just being a terrible person all along works well too.
Gotta say despite some gripes I have with this its Im surprised by how much I like this, being a violent story and all.
Date: May 17 2014 6:00 PM Title: Chapter 1
I was on laurels side but now she just wants excuses to use the device and squish people. Killing an attempted rapist is one thing but the mom and brother seemed like reasonable people to me and she just shunk them outta the blue. Shes obviously gone off the deep end here. Even if she doesnt kill anyone else, shrinking people to kidnap them isnt exactly that much better.
[Report This]Date: May 14 2014 9:24 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is amazing! I honestly hoped that Laurel would've kept and tortured her boss instead of killing him.
Great writing by the way. Its an attention grabber!
Author's Response:
A lot of people suggested that, but the whole idea of Laurel and Fitch was something I just sort of came up on my own and wanted more for narrative purposes so she could get on to other more elaborate things in the future. Brutally smashing him seemed more in line with her emotional state at the time; I don't think she really had reached the mindset where she could consciously decide to sadistically abuse the man at that point.
[Report This]Date: May 14 2014 7:20 PM Title: Chapter 1
This is excellent, and not only as fetish fiction. Great descriptions, fantastic pacing, just really solid writing. Thank you for sharing. :-) Can't wait to read more of your work.
Author's Response:
Thank you! I'm going to be posting the rest of the story pretty regularly, so hopefully you'll enjoy the rest as you seem to have appreciated the first part.