[Report This]Date: June 21 2014 11:14 AM Title: Chapter 16: Changing Scenes
This was entertaining! It strays away from my usual box, but has been humorous and clever along the way. The casual narration style works perfectly for setting the mood. I think I was most impressed by the phenomenal sentence structure you seem to have a gift for. The overall structure and transitions are surprisingly well organized considering the nature of the story. Though as semantics go, there are bound to be a few details that could be optimized, but that's hardly relevant for casual-fun writing!
I think the weakest point would be the minor characters-- I tend to look for strong characters in stories. It can be a hinderance when dialogue is limited given Nick's circumstances as well as managing the balance between developing characters and advancing the story, but honestly with as little time you spent on each minor character you did an excellent job creating their image as Nick moved from setting to setting. Either introducing reoccurring characters or reintroducing and further developing previous minor characters I think would help fill that gap.
Pardon the long review (sort of looks more like a critique now that I think about it), but I do very much admire your writing skills! I'll look forward to future content!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the critique soniti! And by the way, I love long reviews, so don't feel bad.
And i agree with you on the character standpoint. I like Nick, but i feel like you never realy get to know him that well, or any other character for that matter. I'm almost done with this story (only like3 or 4 more chapters) so i don't know if i will have time to fix that. Even if i can't, thats just something to improve next time!