Date: November 02 2014 2:33 PM Title: Chapter 8
I hate giving you flak (maybe it's constructive criticism, though?) but I really feel like you should have gone with your first draft. It's not just my preference for darkness, either. Logically, someone who has gone into a state of psychosis and is fully prepared to go through with the rape of another person IS NOT going to be talked down from it just because of the soon-to-be rape victim's "sad fantasy". They're gone enough (or twisted enough) to go through with it regardless of what their victim tells them. That's the thing. Rape is about violence. The rapist doesn't care that they're hurting the other person. The rapist doesn't care that the other person is in pain. For all intents and purposes, as sick as it is, Sarah SHOULD have gone through with it.
Author's Response:
I'm entirely aware of that much. More than I'd care to admit.
All things said and done, though, I do have a legitimate antagonist in the wings, and Sarah pulling off something to that extent would soften the other's impact a bit.
Realistically speaking, most of the events in this story would have gone differently. Mary would not have taken something along those lines so lightly, Jennifer would have done far more (especially considering her intoxicated state), Lauren would have continued her attempts to hit on Jennifer . . .
I have been making decisions from a literary standpoint, not one of realism.