Date: October 13 2014 6:14 PM Title: Chapter 1
A Perfect Story; PERFECT! Love That SADISTIC Nature Of
Those 'ELITES', And Especially The COUPLE Aspects! Please,
Continue Onward... I SO ANXIOUSLY Await.... Pure Magic..
Date: September 03 2014 4:56 AM Title: Chapter 1
Loved the sadistic daughter and boyfriend!
Really hope you continue.
Date: September 02 2014 1:59 PM Title: Chapter 1
Crylog, I'm very much enjoying your story so far. While I've never seen the movie this is based off, I feel like that's hardly a problem because the story stands well on its own. The world you've built is very detailed and fleshed-out, and it seems like everything has a reason. I actually think the best part of your story is the dialogue -- it's very lifelike and natural.
My only criticism would be this: while the meat of your story is very enjoyable, there are a few areas of weak writing that could be polished up a bit. You have a few misspellings here and there that could be fixed (not a big deal, really), but a bigger issue is some of the run-ons/choppy sentences that occassionally crop up. One trick that I've always found helps is reading your stories out loud: that helps for identifying areas that don't flow well.
Either way, I've loved reading your story so far, and I look forward to more chapters. Definitely got my fingers crossed for more foot action! Thanks again for the fun read.
Date: March 20 2014 5:04 AM Title: Chapter 1
IT'S PEOPLE!
Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
Date: March 19 2014 11:04 PM Title: Chapter 1
Great start. Hope to see more.
aaron